Adversity in relationships, how did you get through
- Thread starter JewelleNY
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kweenameena
Well-Known Member
SO is a social butterfly, loves being the center of attention, is GREAT to talk to because he's so understanding and always has great perspective, and is very charismatic.
So naturally, women flock to him. And his female friends (who have been around for 10+ years) always call for advice on their relationships, for him to do something at their house, for money, etc.
I usually steer clear of men who have female friends, besties, whatever.
I didn't know this about him until we decided to be exclusive.
But as soon as I found out, I tried to bow out of the relationship.
He wanted me to just deal with it but I knew I couldn't handle it. I've been burned before by so-called female besties.
SO and I fought a lot about it!!
He's stubborn but I'm even more stubborn
Eventually, we created boundaries that made the both of us comfortable.
And now, we spend so much time together and he calls me so much that his female friends have fallen to the wayside. I can't lie, that was my plan anyway
Our lifestyles and relationship needs are very different. So, we've both done a lot of compromising and we've had a bunch of come to Jesus talks so that we can be in this relationship peaceably. It's working out and I'm happy
So naturally, women flock to him. And his female friends (who have been around for 10+ years) always call for advice on their relationships, for him to do something at their house, for money, etc.
I usually steer clear of men who have female friends, besties, whatever.
I didn't know this about him until we decided to be exclusive.
But as soon as I found out, I tried to bow out of the relationship.
He wanted me to just deal with it but I knew I couldn't handle it. I've been burned before by so-called female besties.
SO and I fought a lot about it!!
He's stubborn but I'm even more stubborn
Eventually, we created boundaries that made the both of us comfortable.
And now, we spend so much time together and he calls me so much that his female friends have fallen to the wayside. I can't lie, that was my plan anyway
Our lifestyles and relationship needs are very different. So, we've both done a lot of compromising and we've had a bunch of come to Jesus talks so that we can be in this relationship peaceably. It's working out and I'm happy
daydreem2876
carpe diem
I will be back to post in a year
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
I came in at the end of a long term previous relationships. I don't recommend this for anyone! Needless to say what the struggles are there.
Then we had to work through the female friends, the contact with the ex ( I gave an ultimatum for that one), to trust and now life goals. All of this within the year! I don't know how we do it. Someone can say its too much, it's not worth it and we've even talked about it. But even with all of this, we still didn't want to let it go so we didn't.
I'm learning the balance between me and a relationship. My lesson is that I really needed to continue living my life. Everything I did was about us, I haven't even picked a gym to go to because he hadn't made up his mind yet since we were going together. Smh- I was doing this all wrong. It really saddens me.....
Then we had to work through the female friends, the contact with the ex ( I gave an ultimatum for that one), to trust and now life goals. All of this within the year! I don't know how we do it. Someone can say its too much, it's not worth it and we've even talked about it. But even with all of this, we still didn't want to let it go so we didn't.
I'm learning the balance between me and a relationship. My lesson is that I really needed to continue living my life. Everything I did was about us, I haven't even picked a gym to go to because he hadn't made up his mind yet since we were going together. Smh- I was doing this all wrong. It really saddens me.....
Blyss_curls
Well-Known Member
In-law drama (his side). 
We went through a couple's course at church. Coincidentally, the pastor spent an entire night discussing in-laws.
He shared that in his experience more good relationships were ruined by people's in-laws. He stressed how important it was to separate from families of origin and not let them interfere in our relationships.
Thankfully, we were on the same page about the situation. It just took some time to work through, set boundaries, break ties, etc. In time we did, and came out stronger for it, it seems.
We went through a couple's course at church. Coincidentally, the pastor spent an entire night discussing in-laws.
He shared that in his experience more good relationships were ruined by people's in-laws. He stressed how important it was to separate from families of origin and not let them interfere in our relationships.
Thankfully, we were on the same page about the situation. It just took some time to work through, set boundaries, break ties, etc. In time we did, and came out stronger for it, it seems.
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