3c envy...I'm feeling a little guilty

[chayil0427]

Hey ladies

I was talking to one of my girlfriends last night and we both confessed that we pocess a little 3abc envy. Truly, I feel guilty. I know I should be thankful for my lovely head of 4ab hair which is beautifully thick and getting healthier by the week, but honestly, in my heart, I do really envy those ladies with the beautiful ringlets. I've always wanted curly vs kinky hair and at times I feel horribly furstrated with my own kinks. I really feel it's a self image issue I need to work on because I have other issues with feeling less attractive then those petit, curly haired, light skinned girls. (Ooooh someone slap me for that!!!). I was just wondering if I'm alone on this one. Don't beat me up, I know I should be excepting and loving myself. But has anyone else struggled with this?erplexed

Chayil

 

[goldensensation]

Envy is a horrible and evil thing.
































BUT, it is also a very human emotion (wrong or not). Even the strongest of people will experience envy every once in a while (about anything). If they say they dont, they're lying. What you have to do is not get caught up in it and be thankful and appreciative for what you have; believe it or not, there are many out there envying what you dont appreciate.

 

[Ebonygurl00]

I'm honestly not envious, but I guess some can be. I learned to love my hair, and I'm thinking of going natural someday.

 

[chayil0427]

I'm honestly not envious, but I guess some can be. I learned to love my hair, and I'm thinking of going natural someday.

I'm working on appreciating what my hair can do that other's cannot.

Chayil

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Hi,

I don't really like to rate hair by the present system but I have areas of 3c as well as 4a and there's not much of a differance between the two. I think you might mean 3a or b that you're feeling envious about. In any case, you need to ask the Lord to take that feeling away from you. IMO, all hair is beautiful. Nevertheless, if you find yourself not able to shake that feeling off then I suggest you go to your nearest bss and get some 3a, 3b, or 3c weave if that will make you feel a lil better.

 

[chayil0427]

Hi,

I don't really like to rate hair by the present system but I have areas of 3c as well as 4a and there's not much of a differance between the two. I think you might mean 3a or b that you're feeling envious about. In any case, you need to ask the Lord to take that feeling away from you. IMO, all hair is beautiful. Nevertheless, if you find yourself not able to shake that feeling off then I suggest you go to your nearest bss and get some 3a, 3b, or 3c weave if that will make you feel a lil better.

Yes I suppose I do mean the 3ab...lol ....3abc weave.. No I don't think it's gonna come to that. I'm gonna work on loving my own as you said.

Chayil

 

[inthepink]

I think everyone has some sort of envy at some point. When I first transitioned, I had an envy issue (and I am 3c) for 3a/3b. I constantly had to remind myself that I shouldn't covet after someone else's hair and should love my own. Now, I do.

 

[breezy]

While I don't think envy is a good thing and know that it can be unhealthy, it's perfectly nautral. We all get envious sometimes, even though we know we shouldn't. You just have to continue you remind yourself that although your hair is different, it's beautiful, too. Heck, there's probably somewhere out there right now wishing they could get their hair to do what yours does. Don't worry, we all go through it.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I'm glad you felt comfortable posting how you feel. I'll bet their are other women here/in the world that would never admit it and feel the same way you do. I feel you. Whenever I'm having hard hair times I'll usually notice a chick that has that "3" stuf casually thrown into a ponytail/bun and it looks messy and pretty in a good way. During those times I can get envious from time to time.

 

[chayil0427]

I think viewing this beautiful ladies fotki a few days ago is what's got me feeling a little green....

http://members.fotki.com/Raehlilisynth/

Chayil

 

[breezy]

I'm glad you felt comfortable posting how you feel. I'll bet their are other women here/in the world that would never admit it and feel the same way you do. I feel you. Whenever I'm having hard hair times I'll usually notice a chick that has that "3" stuf casually thrown into a ponytail/bun and it looks messy and pretty in a good way. During those times I can get envious from time to time.

I know! My mom has that hair type and she can just pile that mess on top of her head all sloppy and look great!

 

[WhipEffectz1]

I think everyone has some sort of envy at some point. When I first transitioned, I had an envy issue (and I am 3c) for 3a/3b. I constantly had to remind myself that I shouldn't covet after someone else's hair and should love my own. Now, I do.

I'll tell you what I am envious about........length! Sheesh, but in the meantime I will experiment at my local bss to soothe this feeling.

 

[MizaniMami]

You won't get no punches from me. Although I will say I do not ENVY type 3 hair, I can see why sometimes 4b hair just gets tiring to deal with.

If would be kinda stupid for me to sit here and say ' I love dealing with my 4b hair' But yet, I run to a relaxer every few mos.

I def. would love the ease of 3 hair type, but I am not jealous. I just find ways to work with what I got and to make it more manageable.

 

[FAMUDva]

Hey ladies

I was talking to one of my girlfriends last night and we both confessed that we pocess a little 3abc envy. Truly, I feel guilty. I know I should be thankful for my lovely head of 4ab hair which is beautifully thick and getting healthier by the week, but honestly, in my heart, I do really envy those ladies with the beautiful ringlets. I've always wanted curly vs kinky hair and at times I feel horribly furstrated with my own kinks. I really feel it's a self image issue I need to work on because I have other issues with feeling less attractive then those petit, curly haired, light skinned girls. (Ooooh someone slap me for that!!!). I was just wondering if I'm alone on this one. Don't beat me up, I know I should be excepting and loving myself. But has anyone else struggled with this?erplexed

Chayil

I feel ya! That's why I don't like using the hair typing system. IMO it still reminds me of the good hair/bad hair comments we heard growing up.

Please don't throw stones at me.

A hair stylist and I were talking about this very thing and how in her experience people tend to want to type themselves as a 3-something to make themselves feel better since deep down psychological (in HER opinion) they think having 4-type hair is "bad" hair in comparison. Again, not my comments, but what we were discussing.

I know that all healthy hair, no matter what the "type" is good hair, but it took me years to get over this, so I refuse to fall back into it with the typing system that some guy/woman made up and it really doesn't fit everyone.

 

[FAMUDva]

I'll tell you what I am envious about........length! Sheesh, but in the meantime I will experiment at my local bss to soothe this feeling.

OKKKKKKAYYYY! I was thinking the same thing.

 

[MizaniMami]

I feel ya! That's why I don't like using the hair typing system. IMO it still reminds me of the good hair/bad hair comments we heard growing up.

Please don't throw stones at me.

A hair stylist and I were talking about this very thing and how in her experience people tend to want to type themselves as a 3-something to make themselves feel better since deep down psychological (in HER opinion) they think having 4-type hair is "bad" hair in comparison. Again, not my comments, but what we were discussing.

I know that all healthy hair, no matter what the "type" is good hair, but it took me years to get over this, so I refuse to fall back into it with the typing system that some guy/woman made up and it really doesn't fit everyone.

IMO, I don't understand why people think this way. especially about people on LHCF.

I see so many people here reppin' hair type 4 and IMO they are not even a 4 . I dunno, maybe it's just me.

 

[Candy_C]

with the light skin thing..it AINT ALL WHAT ITS CRACKED UP TA BE nor is the 3abc ting either! psh, in the winter i look white, in the summer i turn red lol!

3abc is very easy to manage, but then i'm more likely to abuse it. sooo. plus, i have grade 3 hair, but it KILLS me to get ringlets...i'm one of those 3's with a rubbish curl "pattern"...

u may be envious, but i gaurentee someone is envious of YOU!

thats tru mizani...i see alot of people stating they r 4..there hair looks like a BONFIDE 2/3 to me...i think ts just a case of mis-enterpreting not a psychological ting...lol if so thats petty and probabley more rare than that hairstylist lady thinks

 

[Denim And Leather]

I feel ya! That's why I don't like using the hair typing system. IMO it still reminds me of the good hair/bad hair comments we heard growing up.

Please don't throw stones at me.

A hair stylist and I were talking about this very thing and how in her experience people tend to want to type themselves as a 3-something to make themselves feel better since deep down psychological (in HER opinion) they think having 4-type hair is "bad" hair in comparison. Again, not my comments, but what we were discussing.

I know that all healthy hair, no matter what the "type" is good hair, but it took me years to get over this, so I refuse to fall back into it with the typing system that some guy/woman made up and it really doesn't fit everyone.

You made excellent points all around. I wished there wasn't a typing system, because that does re-enforce the "good hair" "bad hair" mentality. I have seen people who've typed their hair as a 3C when it actually looks like a 4AB, so I also see what you mean about people wanting to type their hair as a 3-something.

 

[FAMUDva]

IMO, I don't understand why people think this way. especially about people on LHCF.

I see so many people here reppin' hair type 4 and IMO they are not even a 4 . I dunno, maybe it's just me.

Although I do agree that there are MANY women repping the 4's on here proudly (even when they are not 4), I guess I just don't get why use the typing system. The same stylist mentioned above told me that I'm a 4a... surprised me because I would have thought a 4b or tighter... but at any rate, I don't see why it matters.

When I go over to the Long Hair Community (LHC) where I'm also a member, those ladies mention some of the SAME tactics that we talk about over here. Of course there are some differences, but products, protective styling, combing vs not combing, etc are all mentioned. And most of them are 1-2 in that typing system.

I guess I just can't wrap my head around using the typing system. I have naturally curly & thick hair that I choose to loosen with relaxer... that's my hair type.

 

[chayil0427]

interesting comments ladies...bumping for more input...(can I bump my own thread...is that legal )

Chayil

 

[MizaniMami]

Although I do agree that there are MANY women repping the 4's on here proudly (even when they are not 4), I guess I just don't get why use the typing system. The same stylist mentioned above told me that I'm a 4a... surprised me because I would have thought a 4b or tighter... but at any rate, I don't see why it matters.

When I go over to the Long Hair Community (LHC) where I'm also a member, those ladies mention some of the SAME tactics that we talk about over here. Of course there are some differences, but products, protective styling, combing vs not combing, etc are all mentioned. And most of them are 1-2 in that typing system.

I guess I just can't wrap my head around using the typing system. I have naturally curly & thick hair that I choose to loosen with relaxer... that's my hair type.

I think the hairtyping thing has helped a lot of us. You, know, including me. I think it can be a negative thing if you let it be. kinda like it's all in the peice of mind.

But I def. feel where you are coming form.

 

[saqqara]

I'm glad you felt comfortable posting how you feel. I'll bet their are other women here/in the world that would never admit it and feel the same way you do. I feel you. Whenever I'm having hard hair times I'll usually notice a chick that has that "3" stuf casually thrown into a ponytail/bun and it looks messy and pretty in a good way. During those times I can get envious from time to time.

I agree but I doubt if many will admit it!

 

[sylver2]

Well..hair typing helps me a lot because I can see who has hair like mine and try things they recommend such as products and regimens. There are plenty who say they are 4a-b but are not. I can tell who has my hair type immediately.

 

[MizaniMami]

Well..hair typing helps me a lot because I can see who has hair like mine and try things they recommend such as products and regimens. There are plenty who say they are 4a-b but are not. I can tell who has my hair type immediately.

The same goes for me too. Anytime someone comes up with something to classify black people, black people go into defene mode and start categorizing each other. That's the way we are. We start thinking that one groups thinks they're better than one another when really it's just their insecurity. We need to learn the difference between classifying each other and dividing ourselves. But this is just my opnion, sorry if I offend.

It isn't the the hair typing system that is bad it is the people's negative state of mind that makes it that way. You can either take the info and use it or take it and use it as a way to divide us. I chose to learn from it.

Once again I hope I didn't offend

 

[Victorian]

"Ringlets" or "curly" vs. "type 3." What's the difference? "Typism" existed long before there was a system of numbers and letters to describe curl pattern. People who don't care wouldn't care with or without Andre's labels, and people who do have the "mentality" would have it with or without the specific notion of "3c" allowing their issues to be a little more transparent to other people.
And I honestly feel that that's what it is. Having the typing system (which is merely a short-hand description of categories that already existed in our minds--not necessarily with any sort of positive or negative slant) doesn't change or reinforce anyone's views about their hair, but it has a tendency to bring people's issues to light (if they, in fact, have "issues").
My point is just that I think it's a little shortsighted or or at least a bit unfair to act like people's views about their hair would be different or people's "good hair/bad hair" mentality less pronounced if Andre's system didn't exist. There is no valuation of hair types built into the system, it's already in the minds of some of the people who use it. Now if you think it is worth condemning because it may "enable" some folks...well ok, I guess. I just think it's doing less enabling and more revealing. Which may not actually be a negative thing

 

[Candy_C]

out of all the hairtyping in the world, i think people r lucky if they find one that is spot on.

i'm 3b/c but i do not have a natural curl pattern, my hair grows funny ... like:

~~~ZZZZZ~VVVVV

what type is that?

 

[KiniKakes]

It isn't the the hair typing system that is bad it is the people's negative state of mind that makes it that way. You can either take the info and use it or take it and use it as a way to divide us. I chose to learn from it.

ITA. Well stated!

 

[mango387]

Someone said earlier that there is always someone who would love to be you or have your hair. That is so true. I knew this African-American girl who had beautiful thick waistlength ( naturally wavy) hair. We were active in church activities together, so I would see her all the time. People would always comment on how pretty her hair was. She was a nice person, so I was never mean to her. Secretly, though, I wanted her hair like yesterday! To make a long story short, a few years later, I blossomed as a person. I became more comfortable with who I was created to be. I was/am a bookworm/social butterfly. My grades and my spirit were nice. Therefore, guys started liking me and academic opportunities began to open up for me. One day, the young lady's and my path's crossed again. Guess what she told me? She said that she was always jealous of me because I was smart. I was like "You have got to be kidding."

Anyway, OP, envy is not a good thing, but it is a truly human emotion. Everybody has felt it about one thing or another. If you can, try to be grateful for whatever God has given you .

 

[Cheleigh]

IMO, I don't understand why people think this way. especially about people on LHCF.

I see so many people here reppin' hair type 4 and IMO they are not even a 4 . I dunno, maybe it's just me.

I know a little OT, but I don't think I see hair typing issues as much on this site, because people either don't hair type at all (quite a few naturals) or since so many people straighten their hair, what would be the point to fake the funk?

I have noticed hair typing debates, accusations, and other issues occuring more on sites where people wear more curly/natural styles exclusively, or where the discussion is not quite as...evolved as it is on LHCF. I know that it was a big deal on np.com long before I became a member, and that's why the hair typing system on that site is really downplayed.

 

[chayil0427]

Someone said earlier that there is always someone who would love to be you or have your hair. That is so true. I knew this African-American girl who had beautiful thick waistlength ( naturally wavy) hair. We were active in church activities together, so I would see her all the time. People would always comment on how pretty her hair was. She was a nice person, so I was never mean to her. Secretly, though, I wanted her hair like yesterday! To make a long story short, a few years later, I blossomed as a person. I became more comfortable with who I was created to be. I was/am a bookworm/social butterfly. My grades and my spirit were nice. Therefore, guys started liking me and academic opportunities began to open up for me. One day, the young lady's and my path's crossed again. Guess what she told me? She said that she was always jealous of me because I was smart. I was like "You have got to be kidding."



Anyway, OP, envy is not a good thing, but it is a truly human emotion. Everybody has felt it about one thing or another. If you can, try to be grateful for whatever God has given you .

That's beautiful. I definately love the fact that I'm intelligent and do well in school. Also, my hair has a lot to offer, it's just important to begin focusing on what is great about my hair and loving me for me. You truly never know who is watching and admiring you.

Chayil