3c envy...I'm feeling a little guilty

[Denim And Leather]

I could be a tight 3b or a loose 4a if you want to get technical. But for those who think that the grass may be greener on the other side...think again! My hair has a mind of it's own and is not easily manipulated if I try to do anything to it besides letting it do it's thing. Oh how I yearn to have a little more kink so I could do twists and twist outs, or be able to use something moisturizing to slick my hair back into a puff instead of a hard gel, or if I wanted to wear my hair straight, I didn't have to roll it, blow it out, and flat iron it to get it smooth and sleek only for it to poof out 10 minutes later!

And what's also interesting is this light skinned/ dark skinned thing that was eluded too earlier. No disrespect to my light skinned sisters, but it seems to be more believeable when a light skinned person has hair like mine. I get alot of yeah right stares when I tell people my hair is natural and sometimes that stings a bit, because I know their opinion has to do with my brown complexion. I had someone with the audacity to ask me if I was mixed and took after the "black" parent? Needless to say I gave them the WTF? look and proceeded to ignore the ignorant comment. But they said it, and if they were thinking it, someone else was too, so my point id that there is positive and negative on both sides of the spectrum, and we really need to learn how to be cool with who we are.

Well, for what it's worth, your hair looks natural to me, I wouldn't think you've had anything done to make your curls loose.

I like your curls, btw. Very pretty!

 

[Cichelle]

can someone help me? I WANT to know what type of hair I have.
I think I'm a 4a/b but i don't really know. the reason why I WANT to know so I know what product to try on my hair when I wear it out. here a pic of my hair without any products on in.

ETA: It's very, very soft.

http://images17.fotki.com/v297/photos/8/851316/3224258/Picture022-vi.jpg

Is your hair dry there? It's really hard to tell on wet hair. But as it is, it looks 3c/4a to me. You have some straight hairs there. Are those left over from a relaxer or is that just the way your natural hair is? I ask because I think I was snipping straight ends off my hair for weeks after I did the b/c. Now, over a year later, I find that I have some straight hairs here and there and that's just the way they are. The whole strand is just straight.

Pretty hair, btw.

 

[Blackbird77]

I'll tell you what I am envious about........length! Sheesh, but in the meantime I will experiment at my local bss to soothe this feeling.

Me too! I was never concerned about hair texture, just length and thickness. I figured once you straighten it, it's all about the same anyway.

 

[Lynnerie]

Originally Posted by WhipEffectz1
Maybe it would have been better if she would have said "some." Hmmm, I think that a substantial amount of black women feel that way and there's no denying that.

I agree with this and even more I think that we would be natural if we had more support from black men. Not only do we have to struggle with what society defines as beauty but we have to deal with our men dating other races because their hair is real and its long. Think about it, Latina, Asian, Indian, White...long hair. And not only don't we have support from some brothas. Our our family members will oppose the idea of going natural. Too many times on this board I hear someone venting about how their mom said something derogatory about their natural hair. I told my mother I wasn't going to relax my daughter's hair and she said. "Oh, I guess you'll be marrying a white man then." So my point is the support is not there from society or from the majority of our own race.

So I understand the envy of 3 somethin hair cause no one ever looked at 4ab and said ooh girl i didn't know you had that "good hair."

But what you have to do is make whatever God gave you work for you. I watch the Fantasia movie and she was so insecure about her hair,skin, lips. her mother told her use what God gave you.

Somebody wishes they had that hair type.

I wish I had Beyonce's body too. And Syleena Johnson's hair even though its probably a weave. But I like to think its all hers.

 

[FAMUDva]

So I understand the envy of 3 somethin hair cause no one ever looked at 4ab and said ooh girl i didn't know you had that "good hair."

With this, you basically summed up my feelings and why I don't use the classification system. Still doesn't change the fact that no one has EVER told me that I have "good hair" because it's probably mostly waht they call 4a...

I am in love with my hair texture, I just don't classify it. I'll be more in love with my hair over all when it's down my back.

 

[beyondcute]

Well other than looking nice we I can tell yall that 3-ish hair aint good cuz it doesnt behave either! My lil sis has 2b-3a hair and she has baby hair that wont comb back (think Chili form TLC), hair that curls no matter what you do and knots for days. Its long as heck (to ber butt) but either way she wishes she had hair like our other sister 4a/4b. She cant get briads (they slip out) or get it straightened, curls up in 5 minutes. So other than having a ponytail, she cant do much. I can do lots of stuff with my hair but not what I want it to do. My fros always flop (remember the frohawk? ). And my twistouts too. And I dont even have a hair type Ive been officially booted from the 3's AND 4's. No one wants me in thier group

 

[chayil0427]

I agree with this and even more I think that we would be natural if we had more support from black men. Not only do we have to struggle with what society defines as beauty but we have to deal with our men dating other races because their hair is real and its long. Think about it, Latina, Asian, Indian, White...long hair. And not only don't we have support from some brothas. Our our family members will oppose the idea of going natural. Too many times on this board I hear someone venting about how their mom said something derogatory about their natural hair. I told my mother I wasn't going to relax my daughter's hair and she said. "Oh, I guess you'll be marrying a white man then." So my point is the support is not there from society or from the majority of our own race.

So I understand the envy of 3 somethin hair cause no one ever looked at 4ab and said ooh girl i didn't know you had that "good hair."



But what you have to do is make whatever God gave you work for you. I watch the Fantasia movie and she was so insecure about her hair,skin, lips. her mother told her use what God gave you.

Somebody wishes they had that hair type.

I wish I had Beyonce's body too. And Syleena Johnson's hair even though its probably a weave. But I like to think its all hers.

This is so true...one of my friends from school was telling me that when she told her family she was locing her hair they asked her if she was still going to be a Christian...that's throwed erplexed .

Chayil

 

[neenzmj]

I'm a 3c, but let me just say that 3c's face certain hair challenges just like everyone else.

I spent the majority of my life wishing I had straight hair. I relaxed my hair for years and even then, a hint of my curl pattern would still come through. Around the time of my 40th birthday, I gave up the fight and began to accept and embrace my hair type and I love it. There are still times that I'd like to have straighter hair or a looser curl pattern, but now I simply try to find creative ways to work with what I have and be content. I'm also coming to the conclusion that if I want that bone straight look, I'll just wear a 3/4 wig instead of risking the damage to my hair.

It's a work in progress.

 

[aileenadq]

Don't feel bad. I'm a 3c and I have 3a envy! (And 4b envy, for the thickness) The grass is always greener, you know...

 

[Cichelle]

You know, I was going to add this, but thought "nah, that's probably just my hair". But I think it might be a type 3 thing... Pokahontas posted that she had the same problem too.
My hair used to get straightish with no-lye relaxers, but lye ones hardly did a thing.

I also think it might be a type 3 thing...because I had the same situation with relaxers not getting my hair straight. I used to relax my hair and wear it curly. erplexed When I look at pics of my wedding, for instance, which was after a fresh relaxer, my hair is curly and looks much like it does today with it natural!

 

[Sharpened]

I never had envy of hair texture (of thickness, oh yeah), but I felt like I was supposed to be envious of unnappy hair, ya know? Sometimes, the feeling was overwhelming when I would be around others praising someone just for their hair texture. I usually kept silent because it was not that interesting to me.

 

[Nightingale]

I could be a tight 3b or a loose 4a if you want to get technical. But for those who think that the grass may be greener on the other side...think again! My hair has a mind of it's own and is not easily manipulated if I try to do anything to it besides letting it do it's thing. Oh how I yearn to have a little more kink so I could do twists and twist outs, or be able to use something moisturizing to slick my hair back into a puff instead of a hard gel, or if I wanted to wear my hair straight, I didn't have to roll it, blow it out, and flat iron it to get it smooth and sleek only for it to poof out 10 minutes later!

And what's also interesting is this light skinned/ dark skinned thing that was eluded too earlier. No disrespect to my light skinned sisters, but it seems to be more believeable when a light skinned person has hair like mine. I get alot of yeah right stares when I tell people my hair is natural and sometimes that stings a bit, because I know their opinion has to do with my brown complexion. I had someone with the audacity to ask me if I was mixed and took after the "black" parent? Needless to say I gave them the WTF? look and proceeded to ignore the ignorant comment. But they said it, and if they were thinking it, someone else was too, so my point id that there is positive and negative on both sides of the spectrum, and we really need to learn how to be cool with who we are.

My situation is similiar to this. If I had a nickel for everytime someone asked about my heritage in relation to my hair, I'd have $10! LOL. I haven't been natural long enough to make good money off of it yet. Even though I love my hair, well most days I love it, I still feel insecure about my dark skin. An issue I was "over" in third grade. The comments kind of bring it back I'm ashamed to say.

 

[plove]

]I'll tell you what I am envious about........length! Sheesh,[/B] but in the meantime I will experiment at my local bss to soothe this feeling.

What she said. I'm don't envy 3c maybe because my hair is really soft. I do however want length. I find my self looking at women hair all day to find a women with nice long hair. I alway tell ony self one day I will have long hair to. I all so hate on LHCFer who started out with short hair and now have really long hair. All they post is I don't have long hair. OK then give me your BSL hair and I'll give you my SL hair.

 

[nikkivale]

What is 3c hair anyways?? i never heard of it 'till i came on this board

 

[RainbowCurls]

nikkivale, this link might help.

 

[pink_n_green_iz_me]

Hi,

I don't really like to rate hair by the present system but I have areas of 3c as well as 4a and there's not much of a differance between the two. I think you might mean 3a or b that you're feeling envious about. In any case, you need to ask the Lord to take that feeling away from you. IMO, all hair is beautiful. Nevertheless, if you find yourself not able to shake that feeling off then I suggest you go to your nearest bss and get some 3a, 3b, or 3c weave if that will make you feel a lil better.

Awww come on now, don't be envious, being a 3a/b isn't all that good at some times. I can't wear big braids cause they will just slip right out. There are somethings 4a's can do that 3a's can't so you should appreciate your kinky hair. I think it's beautiful

 

[DDTexlaxed]

WOW plove! That looks like some gorgeous 4a to me! And Im also in here to cosign on the not relaxing thingy. My last relaxer was a plum joke. Lots of peopel assue Im all natural already <--- Thats what my hair did to the relaxer... laughed at it...

I thought I was alone in my hair laughing at relaxers. The straitness never lasts for more than 2 weeks, if it gets strait at all. I'm going to learn how to work with my natural texture instead of against it. If wash n going is the only style I can do, then so be it.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

Pokahontas posted that she had the same problem too.
My hair used to get straightish with no-lye relaxers, but lye ones hardly did a thing.[/quote]


gasp I have a little 3c hair in the back area and sometimes I feel lye relaxers are too strong for my hair but yet don't straighten well. And I recall in the past no-lye relaxers appeared to straighten better and my hair appear thicker. hmmmm. Could this be why? Is this why I'm dissapointed with my lye relax touchups over and over?

 

[FeelinIt]

I know! My mom has that hair type and she can just pile that mess on top of her head all sloppy and look great!

I can't wait to do that to my hair. I want that messy cute look. Sometimes when my twist outs look right, I can pull it off somewhat, but then as the day wears on, it just looks like a half done sweaty perm.

 

[FeelinIt]

i used to feel like that a long time ago but i don't anymore.

HEALTHY type 4 hair is just as nice. besides, there are plenty positives about having type 4 hair. it's thicker, it holds a rollerset long (i think anyway) and it's AMAZING when it's BSL or beyond!

here's my unpopular opinion. someone else on this board said the same thing. if your hair is in the 3s, it's easy to maintain and grow. it's EXPECTED to grow. shoot! now, to see some brastrap 4b hair... hmmph, that's really something to see. think sylver, isis, machieramour, lauren. SLAMMING!

i'd like to say that i do find type 3 hair beautiful. just look at cichelle, bubbln, ayeshia's albums. too die for! and i'm sure they have certain challenges with hair care.

but, i have to rep 4b/a hair.

I'm not going to lie. I'd love to have type 3abc right at the back of my DAMN NECK! I have a love hate relationship with my hair. I like my hair texture with the exception of the nape area. Why do they look like little dots at the back of my neck? I don't care what you all have to say about it, but my nape area never acts right. It looks horrible!

While the rest of you are envying length and hair types, I'm envying neat nape areas! LOL

 

[winterinatl]

Well you learn something new everyday. All this time I thought that 3 and 4 were primarily used to describe black folks kinky hair, but my hair is no 3a,b, but maybe C...4a? I just don't know. I always thought the number correlated to how many curls waves you found in an inch?

 

[FeelinIt]

This is a cool thread. I used to envy curly girls, too. It wasn't even so much that their hair LOOKED better, but that it seemed like it would be easier to deal with. But like others have said, they're dealing with their hair too, so it's all a wash.<-------You hit it right on the nail for me. Easier to deal with. All I want to do is wash my hair, put some stuff in it real quick and go. NOOOO. I've got to plait my hair in sections, wash and detangle each one then I have to comb and plait it again to keep it from knotting and breaking. I just want to wash, apply and go.

I think I'm just lazy.

 

[chayil0427]

Last night, I too was a little confused about my newgrowth here...I've got about 2 inches and it's wild...I've got z's s's and fuzzy undefined straightish areas...I have about three hair types on my head...from 3c to 4bin different sized patches.... yet, as I lay there last night playing with my kinks I started to wonder why it matters so much...there is something uniquely beautiful about that combination of patterns I have on my head. God individually designed every hair that comes out of my scalp..numbered them ... and formed them one by one. Now that's beautiful!

Chayil

 

[FeelinIt]

I agree. You should try to appreciate all that your hair can do. With my hair, I can wear it naturally kinky in a puff, "fake" type 3 hair with a braidout, or "fake" straight hair with a press. And when I get tired of the straight look, I can go right back to kinky/curly.

Now that is what I love about my hair! I can do all of that. When I got frustrated with the tangles and dryness of my natural hair, I went and got a perm. BUt soon after I came to regret it because I couldn't do my puff and big hairstyles. Plus my ends were so bad, it wouldn't hold a curl.

By this time next year, I'll be sporting a nice lil puff. I can't wait!

 

[FeelinIt]

Very true. I to see 4a/b hair that's healthy, especially if it's APL or longer. I try not to get caught up in the type 3 envy, because I know that type of hair isn't a reality for me. I just work on making my 4a/b hair the best it can realistically be.

Girl I know what you mean. I was in church one sunday and this girl had ALL 4b (permed straight I'm assuming) bra strap or maybe longer thick, thick black hair. I could not stop staring at her and she was standing right in front of me. I just couldn't concentrate on the message.

Girl I was like "Jesus who?"

 

[Vshanell]

Pokahontas posted that she had the same problem too.
My hair used to get straightish with no-lye relaxers, but lye ones hardly did a thing.

gasp I have a little 3c hair in the back area and sometimes I feel lye relaxers are too strong for my hair but yet don't straighten well. And I recall in the past no-lye relaxers appeared to straighten better and my hair appear thicker. hmmmm. Could this be why? Is this why I'm dissapointed with my lye relax touchups over and over?[/QUOTE]
That's probably why. Curls are harder to break down during the relaxing process. Mine never got straight and my stylist used to put the relaxer on all my hair like a virgin relaxer even when I was getting a touch up......it still didn't get straight. One of the reasons why my transition was easy is because I didn't have to worry about hiding the too textures much because they wern't that different.

 

[firecracker]

Fo real?