3c envy...I'm feeling a little guilty

[Amina]

I'll tell you what I am envious about........length! Sheesh, but in the meantime I will experiment at my local bss to soothe this feeling.

Yes, I am the same way...I am jealous about all the ladies with long hair no matter what hair type and no matter if it is natural or relaxed...I thank God I can't find my flat iron b/c I would straighten my natural hair everyday just to see how long it has grown.

*off to was hair*

 

[Vshanell]

Being a 3 myself I had the same insecurities. I thought my hair was the worst hair in the world when I was younger, I hated it. I fought it with everything I had. I wanted hair that was straight and relaxed like the other girls. When I finally did get relaxed my hair hardly even took the relaxer so I still had the stubborn curls to fight. As I got older and learned how to care for my hair I also learned to love it but it took a long time to get there.

I think everyone has had some type of envy. I envy Beyonce's body and I don't think I'll ever get over that one.

 

[glamazon386]

Being a 3 myself I had the same insecurities. I thought my hair was the worst hair in the world when I was younger, I hated it. I fought it with everything I had. I wanted hair that was straight and relaxed like the other girls. When I finally did get relaxed my hair hardly even took the relaxer so I still had the stubborn curls to fight. As I got older and learned how to care for my hair I also learned to love it but it took a long time to get there.

I think everyone has had some type of envy. I envy Beyonce's body and I don't think I'll ever get over that one.

I want my body to look like hers when I grow up. lol

 

[RainbowCurls]

here's my unpopular opinion. someone else on this board said the same thing. if your hair is in the 3s, it's easy to maintain and grow.

I disagree with this.
If type 3 hair is so easy to grow, mistreatment of my hair kept wouldn't have kept it at shoulder length for over a decade, it would have grown depite that.

I'm not denying it is probably slightly easier for type 3s to grow their hair than it is for type 4s. But I don't think it is 'easy'.

---

Reasons not to envy type 3 hair:
- An inconsistent curl pattern can be very annoying (It can look a mess if you're not careful)
- Braids slip out more easily
- It's hard to get twists to look right. And if you manage that, they don't last very long.
- It can look like a jheri curl if you over do the products
- You can't do a proper 'fro

 

[JewelleNY]

My girlfriend is about a 3ab and says her hair was so difficult to manage before she grew locs. She showed me pics of her before pics which were very pretty but she said it was always so much work and was always tangled. She says she wiil never cut her locs because they are so much easier to maintain

 

[good2uuuu]

Hey ladies

I was talking to one of my girlfriends last night and we both confessed that we pocess a little 3abc envy. Truly, I feel guilty. I know I should be thankful for my lovely head of 4ab hair which is beautifully thick and getting healthier by the week, but honestly, in my heart, I do really envy those ladies with the beautiful ringlets. I've always wanted curly vs kinky hair and at times I feel horribly furstrated with my own kinks. I really feel it's a self image issue I need to work on because I have other issues with feeling less attractive then those petit, curly haired, light skinned girls. (Ooooh someone slap me for that!!!). I was just wondering if I'm alone on this one. Don't beat me up, I know I should be excepting and loving myself. But has anyone else struggled with this?erplexed

Chayil

And you know what? I am in the 3c category, but I have 4ab envy! I can't get decent looking 2 strand twists for anything! They are all thin and scraggly looking. The same with braids. I have enough hair lengthwise to do it without extentions, but I have no other choice. I guess the grass is always greener .

 

[Princess Pie]

HEALTHY type 4 hair is just as nice. besides, there are plenty positives about having type 4 hair. it's thicker, it holds a rollerset long (i think anyway) and it's AMAZING when it's BSL or beyond!

Very true. I to see 4a/b hair that's healthy, especially if it's APL or longer. I try not to get caught up in the type 3 envy, because I know that type of hair isn't a reality for me. I just work on making my 4a/b hair the best it can realistically be.

 

[KiniKakes]

that's a bold confession, you're very brave for admitting that so kudos to you. the reason ALL black women aren't natural today is because we still feel that kinky hair is ugly. it's not your fault, that's what we've been conditioned to believe. little black girls as young as 6 wish they had long, straight hair because even at that age, they've gotten the message that kinky hair is ugly. don't blame yourself, it's not a character flaw or shortcoming, it's simply the type of society in which we live and something we all struggle with. most 4 naturals do want 3c hair hence all the curl defining products they pile on and if said product doesn't 'give' them curls, they say the product was a waste. well, you have to have curls to begin with, a product can't create what's not there but that doesn't keep us from wishing it. we all know that we get more compliments when we have visible curls on our head. everyone wants features society deems are attractive, if we didn't, the plastic surgery industry wouldn't be so huge. you have to get to the point where what others and what society thinks or wants doesn't matter to you. you have to stop caring about fitting in and being attractive based on a white or mixed race standard. there are people who think 4 hair and dark skin are beautiful too because it is. there isn't anything inherently unattractive about those traits. just because racism and its equally destructive stepchild, colorism, says it doesn't make it so.

Wow.... I agree with this entire paragraph. Im sure many folks on here will NOT agree.... but i think you touched on some really harsh truths that are difficult to face and come to terms with.

 

[*Happily Me*]

Very true. I to see 4a/b hair that's healthy, especially if it's APL or longer. I try not to get caught up in the type 3 envy, because I know that type of hair isn't a reality for me. I just work on making my 4a/b hair the best it can realistically be.

me too. i grew up with an irene cara look-alike and a cousin who was mixed and had "good hair". i felt dwarfed by their beauty; i felt unattractive and so regular. nothing seemed that special about a brown girl with no sharp features and nappy hair.
coming into my womanhood, i've come to a place where i'm content. a place of acceptance and i feel good about that. hate to sound corny, but i am not my hair!

i'm making my 4b/a hair the best that it can be.

 

[caligirl]

that's a bold confession, you're very brave for admitting that so kudos to you. the reason ALL black women aren't natural today is because we still feel that kinky hair is ugly. it's not your fault, that's what we've been conditioned to believe. little black girls as young as 6 wish they had long, straight hair because even at that age, they've gotten the message that kinky hair is ugly. don't blame yourself, it's not a character flaw or shortcoming, it's simply the type of society in which we live and something we all struggle with. most 4 naturals do want 3c hair hence all the curl defining products they pile on and if said product doesn't 'give' them curls, they say the product was a waste. well, you have to have curls to begin with, a product can't create what's not there but that doesn't keep us from wishing it. we all know that we get more compliments when we have visible curls on our head. everyone wants features society deems are attractive, if we didn't, the plastic surgery industry wouldn't be so huge. you have to get to the point where what others and what society thinks or wants doesn't matter to you. you have to stop caring about fitting in and being attractive based on a white or mixed race standard. there are people who think 4 hair and dark skin are beautiful too because it is. there isn't anything inherently unattractive about those traits. just because racism and its equally destructive stepchild, colorism, says it doesn't make it so.

You hit the nail on the head.

 

[Dannygirl]

i only wish my hair grow that fast other then that NOPE.. could probably care less i love my thick black hair God gave me

 

[Denim And Leather]

the reason ALL black women aren't natural today is because we still feel that kinky hair is ugly.

That's not true. There are black women who relax as a styling choice and nothing else, and there's black women who relax to make their hair more managable. There are women on this board who've gone natural and now relax their hair.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Maybe it would have been better if she would have said "some." Hmmm, I think that a substantial amount of black women feel that way and there's no denying that.

 

[Denim And Leather]

Maybe it would have been better if she would have said "some." Hmmm, I think that a substantial amount of black women feel that way and there's no denying that.

I can totally agree with that. We do have a very Euro-centric standard of beauty in this country, but at the same time, there are black women who do relax their hair as a styling option and don't have a negative thought about their own hair.

 

[JustKiya]

*LOL* I gotta admit - I envy the 3c's sometimes too - largely because I look at their hair and think - man, she can jsut wake up, comb a lil product through her hair, and GO - which, realistically, probably AIN'T true.
Whereas me, ya know, I gotta either wear the same style all week, or risk overmanipulating my hair and causing it to break off since it's SO fine and SO curly.
But then, I envy SECTIONS of my own head - my 'kitchen' is 3b, most of my head is 4a, and I have this one patch of 4b that runs down the left side of my head. I would LOVE it if my whole head was like the 3b section - I would never have my hair in protective styles - though, it would make my fine hair look even thinner. I would LOVE it if my whole head was 4a - at least then, I would have the tightest twists and and twist outs EVER. I would LOVE if my whole head was 4b - I would hate combing it, but I would be able to rock the sharpest, hugest fros EVER.
So, I'm just learning to LOVE what I have - and work with it.......

 

[chayil0427]

interesting comments ladies...bumping for more responses.

Chayil

 

[secretdiamond]

Ok, the pharmacy is open, J.C. is buying a round of fukitol for all the ladies with hair issues!

The reason why I love LHCF is because if somebody comes to the table earnestly about a hair issue, the drama is kept to a minimum. Now if somebody just says some ole janky ish about black hair, that's a whole nother conversation.

Although, for real though secretdiamond, if you want to wear your hair straight just flat iron it. While I don't think perms are evil, touch ups are a concept straight from the bowels of hell.

I think I'll take one of those pills and save it for a later time. I need to gather my thoughts up so I don't sound like a fool! Even though I probably will!

 

[zzirvingj]

Someone said earlier that there is always someone who would love to be you or have your hair. That is so true. I knew this African-American girl who had beautiful thick waistlength ( naturally wavy) hair. We were active in church activities together, so I would see her all the time. People would always comment on how pretty her hair was. She was a nice person, so I was never mean to her. Secretly, though, I wanted her hair like yesterday! To make a long story short, a few years later, I blossomed as a person. I became more comfortable with who I was created to be. I was/am a bookworm/social butterfly. My grades and my spirit were nice. Therefore, guys started liking me and academic opportunities began to open up for me. One day, the young lady's and my path's crossed again. Guess what she told me? She said that she was always jealous of me because I was smart. I was like "You have got to be kidding."

Anyway, OP, envy is not a good thing, but it is a truly human emotion. Everybody has felt it about one thing or another. If you can, try to be grateful for whatever God has given you .

I also envied a friend of mine in high school who has Korean/Black, with gorgeous curly hair (alot of girls envied her for it). But it was funny to me cause whenever i wore my hair down/straight to school she would put her fingers in my hair and say she wished her hair was as pretty straight as mine was...

 

[Chinagem]

LAUREN YOU ENVY OTHER PEOPLES HAIR!!!! You are one of my hair idols on here child. Someone needs to drive by your house and beat your butt missy!!!

Chayil

Don't sell yourself short, Chayil. I bet if you posted pics of your hair, you'd be somebody's hair idol too.

 

[chayil0427]

Don't sell yourself short, Chayil. I bet if you posted pics of your hair, you'd be somebody's hair idol too.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaw...that's so sweet. Thanks so much. I'm gonna work on getting some pics up the next time I get a relaxer. Now I've got a world of newgrowth up under here, and I could only pass for Elmo's hair idol without breaking out the flat irons, pressing combs and silicones. So I'm holding off for now. LOL

 

[FlowerHair]

I disagree with this.
If type 3 hair is so easy to grow, mistreatment of my hair kept wouldn't have kept it at shoulder length for over a decade, it would have grown depite that.

I'm not denying it is probably slightly easier for type 3s to grow their hair than it is for type 4s. But I don't think it is 'easy'.

---

Reasons not to envy type 3 hair:
- An inconsistent curl pattern can be very annoying (It can look a mess if you're not careful)
- Braids slip out more easily
- It's hard to get twists to look right. And if you manage that, they don't last very long.
- It can look like a jheri curl if you over do the products
- You can't do a proper 'fro

I'd like to add: relaxers don't take as well on 3c hair. When I had a relaxer my hair looked exactly the same as usual if I didn't blow dry it for 45 mins after washing erplexed

 

[RainbowCurls]

I'd like to add: relaxers don't take as well on 3c hair. When I had a relaxer my hair looked exactly the same as usual if I didn't blow dry it for 45 mins after washing erplexed

You know, I was going to add this, but thought "nah, that's probably just my hair". But I think it might be a type 3 thing... Pokahontas posted that she had the same problem too.
My hair used to get straightish with no-lye relaxers, but lye ones hardly did a thing.

 

[Softresses]

Originally Posted by ximenia

"the reason ALL black women aren't natural today is because we still feel that kinky hair is ugly."

In response to the above statement, I wish I could wear my hair naturally and not look strange! I have two different textures. The top is 4a but the rest is 3c. I try to texturize it to make it all look alike. It is something I am not always successful at.

I envy the people who are either all 3c or 4a, insted of my mixture of both.

Softresses

 

[Curlee_lurker]

I'd like to add: relaxers don't take as well on 3c hair. When I had a relaxer my hair looked exactly the same as usual if I didn't blow dry it for 45 mins after washing erplexed

I'll cosign this one too. I had a relaxer for a few years and I don't see a marked difference in the amount of time it took my hairdresser to get my hair straight from the time it takes me. I actually get it straighter than she did, but 10 years ago she didn't have a flat iron.

 

[plove]

can someone help me? I WANT to know what type of hair I have.
I think I'm a 4a/b but i don't really know. the reason why I WANT to know so I know what product to try on my hair when I wear it out. here a pic of my hair without any products on in.

ETA: It's very, very soft.

http://images17.fotki.com/v297/photos/8/851316/3224258/Picture022-vi.jpg

 

[beyondcute]

WOW plove! That looks like some gorgeous 4a to me! And Im also in here to cosign on the not relaxing thingy. My last relaxer was a plum joke. Lots of peopel assue Im all natural already <--- Thats what my hair did to the relaxer... laughed at it...

 

[Jas123]

It's all perspective..my hair is very 4a/b so it's naturally thick which I always took for granted until I joined this board and noticed how many members are trying to thicken up their hair..I'm like "UGH" that's the last thing I need..

 

[FlowerHair]

I'll cosign this one too. I had a relaxer for a few years and I don't see a marked difference in the amount of time it took my hairdresser to get my hair straight from the time it takes me. I actually get it straighter than she did, but 10 years ago she didn't have a flat iron.

I know! The flat iron gets it soooooo straight compared to the relaxer, that's even weirder LOL

 

[Denim And Leather]

can someone help me? I WANT to know what type of hair I have.
I think I'm a 4a/b but i don't really know. the reason why I WANT to know so I know what product to try on my hair when I wear it out. here a pic of my hair without any products on in.

ETA: It's very, very soft.

http://images17.fotki.com/v297/photos/8/851316/3224258/Picture022-vi.jpg

I dunno, Plove....to me, your hair looks like a 3C. It could be that you're 3C/4A? It's not uncommon for us (blacks) to have a couple of different hair textures going on. You've got some nice curls going on there!

Maybe some of the other ladies here will chime in!

 

[curlilocs]

I could be a tight 3b or a loose 4a if you want to get technical. But for those who think that the grass may be greener on the other side...think again! My hair has a mind of it's own and is not easily manipulated if I try to do anything to it besides letting it do it's thing. Oh how I yearn to have a little more kink so I could do twists and twist outs, or be able to use something moisturizing to slick my hair back into a puff instead of a hard gel, or if I wanted to wear my hair straight, I didn't have to roll it, blow it out, and flat iron it to get it smooth and sleek only for it to poof out 10 minutes later!

And what's also interesting is this light skinned/ dark skinned thing that was eluded too earlier. No disrespect to my light skinned sisters, but it seems to be more believeable when a light skinned person has hair like mine. I get alot of yeah right stares when I tell people my hair is natural and sometimes that stings a bit, because I know their opinion has to do with my brown complexion. I had someone with the audacity to ask me if I was mixed and took after the "black" parent? Needless to say I gave them the WTF? look and proceeded to ignore the ignorant comment. But they said it, and if they were thinking it, someone else was too, so my point id that there is positive and negative on both sides of the spectrum, and we really need to learn how to be cool with who we are.