I'm a 4a/4b natural, and I think I want to texlax

[KiSseS03]

the first time i went natural, i lasted almost a year, then relaxed. 4 months later, i was transitioning back to natural. don't do it girl.

i would follow all the other poster's advice and try something different. ♥

This is me to a tee, except I kept relaxing for about a year before I finally started this transition. The first time I went natural I had similar issues OP, and I was so frustrated with only knowing how to put my hair in a puff and dealing with tangles.

This time the difference is that I have found hair twins, and have listened to (read) what works for them. I have incorporated techniques such as washing in braided sections, keeping my hair stretched and trimming 3 times/year and my hair is thriving.

I would suggest trying out braids or kinky twists, or any other protective style that can give you a break from daily styling for a little while. It will also give you some more time to research your styling issues. Good luck!

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I am sorry you are going through this, I can surley Relate to you, I have been down this road 9 times. I say do what you feel you need to do to make your hair journey easier for you, Maybe right now is not a good time for you, Or maybe like others have said try different techniques, It can be very frustrating, If after all your options don't work then Texlax. You are the one who have to deal with your hair daily, I too have been thinking of Texlaxing again, not due to managebility, but dryness, I have tried everything, from Shea Butter to Qhemet products.

I have been using S-curl, but I am so tired of the Stickiness and dryness I get when I go outside, I can't twist yet, But I am still gonna try more product Samples to see how it works. But Don't give up Yet!

 

[southerncitygirl]

You can't use adora as an example because she had been dealing with her natural hair for quite some time before deciding to texlax. I advise newbies to give their naps at LEAST a year before chalking it up to having unmanageable hair that they just cant deal with.

i agree i am truly annoyed with folks who relax most of their life and want to throw in the towel after a year or even less of dealing with their hair, i transitioned in 01 and just got my regggie down in the last 1yr or 2 but have still made addtional adjustments. i wish i would have know about this forum sooner cause my hair would be to my bum or longer instead of btw apl and bsl right now. i think peopel have unrealistic expectations of what their hair will do once they become natural and this is the issue. texlaxing/ relaxing isn't a horrible thing to do, but give your hair a chance first.

eta: also, i just to wanted to mention that texlaxers sometimes have issues with tangles, rentention, etc. what products do you currently use? i think keeping your hair condtioned/moisturized and stretched will help with tangles. i also wash my hair in braids now that its longer and do hardcore protein treatments as needed.

 

[MissMusic]

Background info:
I'm in college, I transitioned for approximately 10 months, and BC'd myself with a decent sized twa--that was 5 months ago (January 2010). Since then, I think that my hair has grown a little, but I'm not sure exactly how much. And I'm a 4a-4b (NO CONFUSION ABOUT IT).

After 5 months, I hate to say it, but I'm seriously considering texlaxing my hair.

-my texture is extremely extremely thick (obviously), the crown of my head is probably a 4ZZZ because no matter what I do, use a denman/wide tooth comb, slap on tons of slippery conditioner, detangle under the shower head...IT WILL NOT DETANGLE, PERIOD. The crown locs on its own, and I can't take it anymore
-Single strand knots are the bane of my existence. They come no matter what, even with twists/twists outs. I've lost more hair as a result of ssk's than I should have.
-the shrinkage is out of the world and nothing I do (henna, coconut milk/lime, etc.) will help that. My hair is collarbone length stretched and I can hardly enjoy it like I want to. Hell, I can barely enjoy ear length!
-straightening....no. I've tried numerous times to do it myself, I've tried to get my mom to help me, I've tried different techniques, nothing. Even blowing it out is a 2 hour battle that doesn't even make straightening easier.
-I like twist-outs/braid-outs, but I'm sick of them, number 1. Number 2, because I still have a twa that is really dense, it takes forever to finish the twists because my hair isn't long enough to do 10 big twists and call it a night. I'm in school and always working, and I hate spending hours and hours on my hair, regardless of the style/texture. I'm just not one of those girls. I've tried to maintain a simple regimen, but detangling or twisting takes me entirely too long.
-On top of that, my twists don't last very long. Some women I know here can keep in twists for days or weeks, but I can't because anything longer than 3 days gives me locs. I've had to literally cut through twists that have turned into tight locs, and twist outs shrink very quickly and still give me ssk's.

Ok what am I doing wrong?

I feel like I've done so much research and tried so many different techniques but I honestly don't have time for this right now. Perhaps I didn't learn things correctly, because everything that I just KNEW would help me out (shea butter, henna, DCing, detangling/stretched styles) haven't been cutting it, and I can't spend another dime buying overpriced products for "natural hair" online that don't work for me. I'm frustrated! I hate the idea of putting chemicals in my hair again, and I know that many natural haired people that I know will judge me (I already get it ), but I need a break. "heat-training" is not an option, because I want to wear my hair curly most of the time and that just spells damage, I'm not getting braids because I'm not in a position to kick out $100+ every other month to get them put in. What do I do? If I feel like this at the end of the month, I'm texlaxing (but someone talk me out of my frustration please!).


this was WAY longer than I thought it would be! Sorry! Please read anyway and help me out!

I would slap in some braids or a weave/lace front and give yourself a break. I was natural for years before I relaxed, but I do understand your frustration. And yes, I was in college for a good portion of it and I did NOT have time to spend on my natural hair.

As a natural my hair HATED shea butter and it still does, the denman everyone uses was crap for my hair (the black paddle brush was perfect), I tried henna and my hair seized up on me, and so much more. It took me awhile to learn what products and techniques worked for my hair, so I would take breaks by getting braids put in my hair.

Also, a suggestion for twists: have you tried mixing half a jar of Fantasia IC sparkalites gel and 1/3 cup of conditioner and then making sure to twist on wet hair? I also did twists on blowdried hair with the mixture and it would also last awhile. Putting twists in my air dried hair was a big no no. I had the same problem with not being able to keep twists in, but when I found this recipe on LHCF, I tried it, and my twists lasted for weeks!

If your hair is locking and tangling that much, then you probably have splits or some relaxed ends left. Just a thought.

I say all this to say, for the moment give yourself a break. School is enough of a hassle without adding frustrated natural hair to the mix. Find you best braider/lace front or weave specialist, some of the original formula of infusium 23, African Pride braid spray and take a break!

Lastly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to relax. I would just give your natural hair one more chance before doing so.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

i agree i am truly annoyed with folks who relax most of their life and want to throw in the towel after a year or even less of dealing with their hair, i transitioned in 01 and just got my regggie down in the last 1yr or 2 but have still made addtional adjustments. i wish i would have know about this forum sooner cause my hair would be to my bum or longer instead of btw apl and bsl right now. i think peopel have unrealistic expectations of what their hair will do once they become natural and this is the issue. texlaxing/ relaxing isn't a horrible thing to do, but give your hair a chance first.

I agree with you, and I also think we BC too soon and getting too excited to be natural, but I have been natural off and on since 2003, My Texture was never an Issue, Length was Never an Issue, I need Serious Moisture, Sometimes just posting that you want to Relax/Texlax is just getting out the Frustration, Some go natural and it is easy breezy, but for some we have to Vent alot but we get through, Mandy on here was One that I know for sure that was always frustrated and posted them and felt better afterwards with all the encouragement.

I mean alot are gonna have troubles and say things but we have to keep them encouraged to move on, Every Natural Head is NOT the Same. I always say I am gonna Texlax, but deep down inside I am not. I am just frustrated, thats all.

 

[exoticmommie]

In whatever you do make sure you do plenty of research, and that you try all options before making the decision to texlax. If you do decide to texlax, don't feel bad, there are plenty of beautiful texlaxed heads on here.

Just know the decision is permanent, and that you will have to bc or transition if you change our mind. (which can be lots of work in itself) So make sure it's a decision you want and are willing to stick with.

Good Luck!