I go to a white church. Sometimes I am the only black OR brown face in the crowd.
Why?
1. I grew up going to a military base church. I'm just used to the cadence of that type of service.
2. It is 5 minutes from my house. Unless it's work, I never get anywhere on time unless it's really close (church, the gym)
3. One hour service. Full stop.
4. Ph.D.s I'm a snob. I like intellectual preachers. I want the ones with a Ph.D. from a reputable seminary. I don't like emotional appeals, or "Free verse." I like a tight, well planned, researched sermon.
Anyway... I don't want to go tomorrow after Charleston. I'm positive the preacher will say something perfectly wonderful. And he'll say just the RIGHT thing, too. He's like that. He's one of the good guys. But I don't feel comfortable with the rest of those white folks.
They keep asking me why I don't go to sunday school.
So I want to skip church tomorrow. I just wish I hadn't skipped LAST sunday. I volunteered at vacation bible school the previous Mon-Thurs. and I figured that was enough church for the week!
I remember last week talking to the preacher's wife. Really sweet lady. We were working the "bible adventures" room during vacation bible school together. I remember saying something that was racial. Nothing extreme, but I thought later that I might have made her feel uncomfortable. You know, nice white people sometimes don't know what to do with "race" topics. So I felt bad. Her husband, the pastor would have handled it fine, no problem. But I wasn't sure about her.
Now here I am feeling some kind of way about taking my glowing brown face into that church. Not worried about the pastor. Worried about the "nice" white people... and the not so nice as well.
Part of me even imagines what a great target Id be for some crazed gunman. But I have a dreadful imagination like that. I get it from my Mom.
I should try a black church tomorrow. But I'm positive they are not ANYWHERE near where I live. And guess what... they ain't getting out in an hour.