2012 Whats happening Relationship Folks
- Thread starter firecracker
- Start date
Some stuff, like rainbow rolls
Last night I had ceviche rolls and oyster shooters for the first time. Oh. My. God!!!!!!!! I need to get back over there!
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I'm impressed that she's open to it. Ceviche rolls sound good.
Great, now I want sushi. I guess I'll have it for lunch.
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Well-Known Member
kandake said:
Lawd yes those rolls were good. Had some others as well but these were the best. They had a nice kick to them too from the jalapeños inside.
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misseyblue
Well-Known Member
Looks like this relationship is coming to an end....such is life
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
I'm confused InchI...
Were you ever officially bf/gf?
This argument doesn't sound like a break up. I'm not convinced that YOU even believe it's over. Which makes me wonder WHY are you going on a date?! 1/ are you ready for something new? 2/ would you be OK if he was doing the same and 3/ I wouldn't suggest tit for tat moves in serious, adult relationships. There's always time to get a new boo once you know for sure this is over and done with.
I agree with above posters that suggest to breathe and discuss later. Totally salvageable. People don't stay pretty and proper all through a long term relationship. Now if its consistent and escalating...thats something else. But I don't think what he said is so bad that I wouldn't consider giving it another go.
It seems pretty simple IMO: I'm not moving in unless we're married and never mind having children. And let him figure out what he wants. Does he not believe you? Is he pushing the issue? I think understanding his thinking is key to know if you should move forward....
Were you ever officially bf/gf?
This argument doesn't sound like a break up. I'm not convinced that YOU even believe it's over. Which makes me wonder WHY are you going on a date?! 1/ are you ready for something new? 2/ would you be OK if he was doing the same and 3/ I wouldn't suggest tit for tat moves in serious, adult relationships. There's always time to get a new boo once you know for sure this is over and done with.
I agree with above posters that suggest to breathe and discuss later. Totally salvageable. People don't stay pretty and proper all through a long term relationship. Now if its consistent and escalating...thats something else. But I don't think what he said is so bad that I wouldn't consider giving it another go.
It seems pretty simple IMO: I'm not moving in unless we're married and never mind having children. And let him figure out what he wants. Does he not believe you? Is he pushing the issue? I think understanding his thinking is key to know if you should move forward....
swear i have short term memory loss...i guess i told Him I wanted some perfume for christmas (juicy couture). didnt think that he was gonna get it Miss.Full Charge went and bought my own 
BUT funny thing of it is, i bought the wrong one 
but it smelled good so i kept it.
the other day he went to the coast guard exchange with his cousin & came back with a juicy couture gift set and a butterfly necklace...Merry Christmas!!
i opened it and smelled it...its the right one!!
i just starting laughing, cause i should've just waited.
so christmas cam early for me!! not sure if he has anything else up his sleeve. his christmas gift from me is we're going to shaq's all star comedy jam next friday.
**excuse typo & spelling, this kindle is new to me
BUT funny thing of it is, i bought the wrong one but it smelled good so i kept it.the other day he went to the coast guard exchange with his cousin & came back with a juicy couture gift set and a butterfly necklace...Merry Christmas!!
i opened it and smelled it...its the right one!!
i just starting laughing, cause i should've just waited. so christmas cam early for me!! not sure if he has anything else up his sleeve. his christmas gift from me is we're going to shaq's all star comedy jam next friday.
**excuse typo & spelling, this kindle is new to me
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
those quirky little habits!
as long as he chews with his mouth closed and doesn't eat like he is in prison (hovering over his food like somebody is going to snatch), don't worry your pretty little head about that!Evolving78
Well-Known Member
men just don't see the games women play! unless he makes the best turkey on the planet and brings turkey to work for everybody to eat, then she is trying to play games. i guess that's her "snatch him up and lock him in banana pudding?"
CarLiTa
Well-Known Member
InchHighPrivateEye, sorry this happened. This, being the breakup... I don't even think the argument was that bad, but I've also been in situations where there's a lack of clear communication that led to hurt feelings that led to: I'm done!
Sounds like this man loves you a lot and wants to be with you for a long, long time. He said it. And he thinks that expressing that want, being ready for you to depend on him, make babies with him, etc, relays just how much he loves you and wants you in his life long term. On the other hand, you view marriage as the gatekeeper for those steps. Understandable. And wise
I had a similar experience with my previous SO. Out of the blue, he was being extra romantic and began talking about wanting to wake up next to me everyday, see me everyday, etc. We were long distance and talking over chat during that convo. I'm looking at the computer screen like
you're going to have to marry me to do that. And that I said. To which he responded like
And then I got scared bc I'm like uh I'm nowhere near ready.
I get the impression that that's what you are now, too. On the one hand, it's great to know that someone wants you in the way you want to be wanted, in the way other women (the vocal ones on LHCF) tell you you should be wanted, and then it happens and you're like holy snap. I'm scared! I saw your post the other day about them "coming for [you]" re: him wanting to elope and marry you. You deleted that post
but I read it.
I think the bit about you both not having a real commitment was insensitive... That's hurtful to hear from someone you've opened your heart to. And it's interesting, right? We want something in theory, and sometimes we want it to be easy, effortless, and when we get it we devalue it... We don't trust its authenticity. I was in the same boat a few years back... My ex was like, "you don't understand that I've made myself purposely open to you, bc I wanted to be open. To you. You think I do that for everyone, don't you?" Truth is, I did... and I told him. That's really hurtful.
Anyway, all this to say, I think you should have a conversation now after your feelings have calmed down... Take the hurt out of it (I really get the impression that he was very hurt about your comment about fake commitment...) and you can calmly say that while you love him very much, moving in together would have to be accompanied by a 'deeper' commitment to your relationship. And then you can be frank about whether you're even ready for that right now.
Your SO seems to be reading your comments and response as: she doesn't even want me... It sounds like there's some damage control to do. Good luck!
Sounds like this man loves you a lot and wants to be with you for a long, long time. He said it. And he thinks that expressing that want, being ready for you to depend on him, make babies with him, etc, relays just how much he loves you and wants you in his life long term. On the other hand, you view marriage as the gatekeeper for those steps. Understandable. And wise
I had a similar experience with my previous SO. Out of the blue, he was being extra romantic and began talking about wanting to wake up next to me everyday, see me everyday, etc. We were long distance and talking over chat during that convo. I'm looking at the computer screen like
you're going to have to marry me to do that. And that I said. To which he responded like And then I got scared bc I'm like uh I'm nowhere near ready.I get the impression that that's what you are now, too. On the one hand, it's great to know that someone wants you in the way you want to be wanted, in the way other women (the vocal ones on LHCF) tell you you should be wanted, and then it happens and you're like holy snap. I'm scared! I saw your post the other day about them "coming for [you]" re: him wanting to elope and marry you. You deleted that post
but I read it. I think the bit about you both not having a real commitment was insensitive... That's hurtful to hear from someone you've opened your heart to. And it's interesting, right? We want something in theory, and sometimes we want it to be easy, effortless, and when we get it we devalue it... We don't trust its authenticity. I was in the same boat a few years back... My ex was like, "you don't understand that I've made myself purposely open to you, bc I wanted to be open. To you. You think I do that for everyone, don't you?" Truth is, I did... and I told him. That's really hurtful.
Anyway, all this to say, I think you should have a conversation now after your feelings have calmed down... Take the hurt out of it (I really get the impression that he was very hurt about your comment about fake commitment...) and you can calmly say that while you love him very much, moving in together would have to be accompanied by a 'deeper' commitment to your relationship. And then you can be frank about whether you're even ready for that right now.
Your SO seems to be reading your comments and response as: she doesn't even want me... It sounds like there's some damage control to do. Good luck!
FelaShrine
Well-Known Member
She mentioned that they've been exclusive since Feb.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
InchHighPrivateEye
i think you should give him a call and explain what you mean. tell him that you love how things are going between the both of you. tell that if he wants to take things further, then you two can work towards getting married, not living together.
and i don't mean just planning a wedding, but i mean, planning for marriage, pre-martial counseling, saving money, discuss where you want to live and raise children, etc....
but the fact that you are claiming your relationship is over, you started rambling about weddings being expensive, and you are planning on going on a
date with someone else, tells me that maybe you aren't ready to be that serious with him.
you even said he is moving too fast for you. you need to be honest with yourself and with him. plus, he should have known from jump that you don't want to shack up. and you didn't make that clear again. you could have just said that you don't want to shack up, if he is really serious about you, he will go about trying to marry you first.
i could be wrong?
i think you should give him a call and explain what you mean. tell him that you love how things are going between the both of you. tell that if he wants to take things further, then you two can work towards getting married, not living together.
and i don't mean just planning a wedding, but i mean, planning for marriage, pre-martial counseling, saving money, discuss where you want to live and raise children, etc....
but the fact that you are claiming your relationship is over, you started rambling about weddings being expensive, and you are planning on going on a
date with someone else, tells me that maybe you aren't ready to be that serious with him.
you even said he is moving too fast for you. you need to be honest with yourself and with him. plus, he should have known from jump that you don't want to shack up. and you didn't make that clear again. you could have just said that you don't want to shack up, if he is really serious about you, he will go about trying to marry you first.
i could be wrong?
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Well-Known Member
I have been promised a lap dance so I can make it rain with Monopoly money
Sent from the corner pay phone
Sent from the corner pay phone
InchHighPrivateEye
Well-Known Member
I'm not ignoring y'all. I appreciate the feedback 
I will respond more in depth when I get to a computer but I really appreciate you taking the time to give me some perspective.
Currently: we talked and I cried like a fool but I feel...less let down(?)
I will respond more in depth when I get to a computer but I really appreciate you taking the time to give me some perspective. Currently: we talked and I cried like a fool but I feel...less let down(?)
hopeful
Well-Known Member
I'm not ignoring y'all. I appreciate the feedback
Currently: we talked and I cried like a fool but I feel...less let down(?)
(((Hugs)))
I'm getting so anxious!
Briabiggles
Well-Known Member
Why does it take so long for him to text back? Good grief!
Sent from my iPad mini mini.
Sent from my iPad mini mini.
Briabiggles
Well-Known Member
He was on his death bed sick and doped up on NyQuil. I had all kinds of crazy thoughts going through my head! DON'T DO THAT TO ME DUDE!!
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AHeadOfCoils
Well-Known Member
*delete*
10char
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InchHighPrivateEye
Well-Known Member
Good mawnin
FelaShrine
Well-Known Member
^breakfast in bed?
AHeadOfCoils
Well-Known Member
Good mawnin
Good Mawnin my arse! Get back in here!! I hope this means that y'all are back together.
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Well-Known Member
had a wonderful evening last night. I have sneaking suspicion that 2013 is going to be a big year for us......
Middle
Guess who?
So yesterday me and him went out to brunch and he let me know that he wasn't planning on proposing for another 2-3 yrs. I think he told me this because he hopes it will make me more inclined to move out to where he is... but I had told myself I was only going to do that if he gave me a good reason because quite frankly i can get a better jon elsewhere... and this isn't a good enough reason.
I let him know that our timelines did not sync up and I'm not gonna spend my late 20s waiting on a man to propose and he said I was being controlling. Which I disagreed with. It's not like I said he must propose to me now, I just told him I'm not waiting for 3 yrs. he can do whatever he wants with that information.
The thing is I've known him for more than 4 yrs now, and we've been dating for 3 of them. We broke for a little while, but we're back now and I just don't understand what he needs another 3 yrs for. i mean, 3 years for what? I would be fine with a long engagement because we're both only 1-2 yrs out of grad school and such would be appropriate for us, but I'm not spending 3 yrs hanging out for the promise of engagement.
Anyway I let him now that I'm gonna start looking at job prospects elsewhere more seriously. Between the two of us, I do have the stronger will but I don't want him to feel like I pushed him into this in anyway. I want it to come from him. So I'm just gonna do my own thing, let him figure himself out. I think I'm stuck with him either way.
I let him know that our timelines did not sync up and I'm not gonna spend my late 20s waiting on a man to propose and he said I was being controlling. Which I disagreed with. It's not like I said he must propose to me now, I just told him I'm not waiting for 3 yrs. he can do whatever he wants with that information.
The thing is I've known him for more than 4 yrs now, and we've been dating for 3 of them. We broke for a little while, but we're back now and I just don't understand what he needs another 3 yrs for. i mean, 3 years for what? I would be fine with a long engagement because we're both only 1-2 yrs out of grad school and such would be appropriate for us, but I'm not spending 3 yrs hanging out for the promise of engagement.
Anyway I let him now that I'm gonna start looking at job prospects elsewhere more seriously. Between the two of us, I do have the stronger will but I don't want him to feel like I pushed him into this in anyway. I want it to come from him. So I'm just gonna do my own thing, let him figure himself out. I think I'm stuck with him either way.
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Well-Known Member
It's funny that you say that because i pretty much said the exact same thing to myself yesterday. We had a minor blow up and I was tell him about himself
After the phone call ended he sent me a text saying "i still love you". Even when we have our spats he is the one that most always will not let me go. Like i told him once or twice look that I was done with him over the last few years but he just....stays?? I can't verbalize it well but i feel that same thing that you said.eta - he isn't disposable like other men in my life have been. what we have just feels different.
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