2012 Whats happening Relationship Folks

You have a new boo @Je Ne Sais Quoi?! I've been so busy lately I didn't even notice. I have no idea whats going on with my fitness forum babies :sad:
@SuchaLady
I've been with this guy for the last year or so. We've had many ups and SEVERAL downs :lol: :lol: But things somehow are moving forward and a good pace. If I don't have an engagement ring and plans to move forward with a wedding by the end of next year we are done :look: He already has been made aware.....
 
At my SO's job they got free hams (or turkey) and he says this lady coworker asked him to cook hers for her. He doesn't find that odd/random in the least. Then went on to say she was making him a banana pudding in exchange. I'm like "oh really"
 
I'm giving so his Christmas gifts on Saturday. I have already told him what I bought and showed him pics because he kept hounding me. Whereas I love surprises he doesn't. We are completely opposite. So yeah. Merry Christmas. I know what I got already. The mountain bike he bought me is already under my tree. The watch he bought me I picked out with him. He is no fun.

Sent from the corner pay phone
 
It kind of bugs me when he uses the wrong cutlery to eat. Earlier we had sauteed veggies and and he wanted to eat them with a spoon instead of a fork. And just now he ate some ice cream with a fork.

Da hell is wrong with him!?

I hate it when I see this.

My ex used to eat only with a fork. My friends husband eats EVERYTHING with a spoon. Chicken, beef steak, potatoes..whatever:spinning:
 
I hate it when I see this.

My ex used to eat only with a fork. My friends husband eats EVERYTHING with a spoon. Chicken, beef steak, potatoes..whatever:spinning:

I had a friend like this. He ate everything under the sun with a spoon.

Excuse the typos but i'm on my iPod touch
 
I can't wait to get my Christmas gifts from himmmm!!!!!!!!! I'm soooo excited!! I know some of the things I'm getting, but not the really good stuff. I can't wait to use all of my hair products he got me lol.

I think he's gonna like his gifts from me. I want to get him one more thing that I know he wants......but I have to get my stupid parents something -__- lol
 
Say what!?

The world isnt gonna end tomorrow , so stop being foolish and get back with that funny man :nono:


IDK how to. We offended each other. I guess we have irreconcilable differences (like the famous people :look:). This is one of those situations where I could see me saying "I love him and we're good friends but it didn't work out." But the thing is, I did my due diligence, I think. He was either talking out of his face or he hasn't been honest this whole time, or something.

Everything happened so fast. Yesterday I was kind of annoyed with everything. But he's off all week for Christmas so he called and asked if I could leave work to have lunch and go look at some places because his apartment lease will be up in March. Cool. I always cheer up when I see him. I said something snappy in the car, I admit--I don't really remember what but it was in regards to living together (something that he's asked me before and brought up again recently but I've said I'm not interested. So now he says it like "but you don't want to live with me....") and I said something snappy like "we don't even have a real commitment." He said "wow. You are being brutally honest today," because to him, I guess since he tells me TMI about his whereabouts and goings on and looks out for me and is open with me and stuff we're committed--which, in the dating sense, we are and I love him and I love it, but...I don't want to live together until we get married, which I've told him.

And he's talked about marriage, straightforwardly. I know it hasn't even quite been a year yet, but we've both been more open with each other than any other relationship and we've made plans. I've met his family and his mom and aunt were like "he's told us you're the one. He's never brought anybody home before!" and his mom was beaming calling me her future daughter-in-law and all that. I just say that to say, it seems soon but we mutually care about each other and are/were "all in" so his wanting to live together didn't put me off, because I understand people do that, but at the same time, I let him know that if we're that ready and "all in" then....propose to me, boo :look: I never minced words about that. He never seemed intimidated or put off by it. He has said "I want what you want." Strangers (to me) that he knows literally tell me that he talks about "me and InchHigh" in the future tense. I'm just saying that all of this is established information. I'm not in a hurry to get married--although I have been keeping my manicures more current :look:--but HE'S the one who is always saying he's ready for us to be in the same house and he wants to start a family soon and blah blah blah and I've just let him know what I need in order for that to happen. Otherwise, I'm chilling. We can date and I'm chillin.

Anyway (I'm sorry all my posts are so long :sad:) I went to his house after work and some kind of way we started talking about it again and this negro was like.........Like I really don't even remember everything because at a certain point I said red and I just remember sauntering my a** down the stairs while I heard him saying "InchHigh, if you leave then that's it.....*slams door behind me*" But the gist of it was that he is ready for things and I'm not. I'm childish sometimes. To be honest, weddings are expensive (weddings are expensive? What -_-. See, first of all, he could afford a wedding. But secondly, we've talked about this before because he always talks about eloping and when I realized HOW expensive weddings were, I kind of expressed that eloping is cool too. So I basically feel like "weddings are expensive" at this point is a mindf**k.")
 
And at some point--then is when I left--he said I don't realize that he doesn't normally open up to people like this and he's never wanted to live with anybody before (like I'm supposed to say thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank yooooooooooooooou for wanting me as a roommate, boo!)and that what I don't understand is "I may be this and I may be that but it's a lot of pretty young women who would be happy to live with me and not pay any bills and have my baby."



What.



Like what.



What.



*Almaz voice* Where is yo kang, baby? Where.is.yo.kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang?



Live with you and have your baby? And why would you mention that other women would want you? I felt super disrespected.



So I said "wait. Why are you talking about babies? you just said weddings are expensive. You're ready to move in and have babies but you're not ready for a wedding?"



I asked him that rationally and calmly because one of the things I like about him (I said that like Walter from RHOA and like we just met because at this point I feel like IDK him!) is that he can step back and say "man, you're right. I didn't realize I said that like that. Ok, I'm wrong." But this negro said "Yes! That's what I'm saying! I'm ready to do things and buy a house and have a family and you aren't ready!" :look: :look: What? I've been on the same page with you. I cannnnnnnnnnnnnnn't. It feels like a mindfreak.

He has been super amazingly considerate of me this whole time so I really feel weird. If he had been a noncommittal jerk the whole time I would get it. I don't get it. But I feel like it's one of those "when somebody tells you something, believe them" moments. Honestly, even if he were to propose now it would be weird. I would feel like Gina in that episode of Martin where he's like "there, I said it: Will you marry me? Damn!"

I honestly don't get the whole culture of his colleagues. We have the same profession, but different areas and I admit that they are more serious and successful about it (cause I don't give a damn about it :look:). I was surprised when he first told me about one girl that he works with that lived with her boyfriend and had his baby then they broke up. IDK why I was surprised at the first hearing of that because it happens, but I was like...how did she get played like that? But there's another young couple--I knew the girl previously, he knows the guy through work--they just had a baby and aren't married. There's this one lady, about 31 that everyone thinks is "fancy"; she does well in her career and then teaches at a college too, has a side business and her own home and stuff. Looks really nice. She just this week announced that she got pregnant by her on again, off again boyfriend with whom they admittedly have a complicated relationship. These are upwardly mobile people, doing very well and smart and it's the norm. They don't see a point in getting married. I want to say that's why he was looking at me like I come from an 1800's village but 1) he's a grown arse man so he has his own mind. and 2) um. I was always like this. Always. Always. What?
 
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I'm mad. I'm not even sad. I don't want him anywhere near me but I already know what he got me for Christmas and I want that.

ETA: I don't expect anyone to read those long arse posts. Venting, I guess.
 
@InchHighPrivateEye

I think you all need to take a breather and then come back and talk about it. For the most part it seems that you all want the same thing. I would get at the root of why marriage isn't his next logical step. It could definitely be what you referenced in your post about his colleagues.

IDK, I think this is salvageable. You all seem like a great couple, he seems like a good man.

Oh, but I'm not feeling that tid bit about what other women would do. That's a no no. But I guess he got caught up in the moment. He still needs to recognize that resorting to that type of talk is unacceptable.

I'm rambling, but my point is that I would at least try to work it out. I think it's worth salvaging.

ETA: Don't worry about the long post. I actually enjoy reading your posts. The longer the better.
 
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I'm mad. I'm not even sad. I don't want him anywhere near me but I already know what he got me for Christmas and I want that.

ETA: I don't expect anyone to read those long arse posts. Venting, I guess.

I read them all cos I was hoping your butt would be in the wedding forum in a year or 2.

I cant believe he said that baby ish though. I mean I was like yall could get it over it in the other stuff but once i saw that ish and he didnt even change it when you gave him the chance to explain himself..? No..sounds like one of those crazy negros that trap women with babies..

How old is he..why is he in such a hurry :ohwell:

Have you been flirting in front of him chile :lol:

Seriously though Im disappointed!
 
InchHighPrivateEye

So basically, he never even made it official with you (bf/gf), yet he's trying to skip 2 steps (engagement & marriage). He wants to go straight from dating to buying a house and having babies, while you're just like marry me and we can do all of that..
 
I really think that my friend is silly as hell. It's not my business, so I'm just on the phone saying "uh huh", but I'm really thinking this:



Your HUSBAND comes home from being out of the country for 5 months and you go to your mom's house for the first two days, so he couldn't ask for sex.

I'm sorry, but that's unacceptable. If I was gone for more than 2 days, my man better have his D waiting at the door for me.
 
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I really think that my friend is silly as hell. It's not my business, so I'm just on the phone saying "uh huh", but I'm really thinking this:

Your HUSBAND comes home from being out of the country for 5 months and you go to your mom's house for the first two days, so he couldn't ask for sex.

I'm sorry, but that's unacceptable. If I was gone for more than 2 days, my man better have his D waiting at the door for me.

That's kinda cruel IMO and immature. You had 5 months to yourself.
 
kandake, thanks :) I would want to salvage it if thats not crazy but I'm so thrown off by this.

FelaShrine, he's 30! It IS disappointing! I know that he wants the whole family experience because he feels like he didn't really have that. Even the way he welcomes my mom's (even though he has a mom) friendliness is part of that. I knew he wanted kids eventually because that's normal and we talk about it but yesterday he made me feel like a rent-a-womb. And he was talkin about "I'm ready for somebody to depend on me" well....that could have been me if his a** didn't go all crazy on me. I'm ready to depend :look:

And he hasn't seen me flirt! Yet. Because I have a date for tomorrow :look: I don't wanna go because I don't click with many guys and I really click with him--it feels like we think the sake stuff most of the time--but I gotta eat. :look: and I guess the date is why I haven't gotten sad yet. I'm still at the mad indignant part.

AHeadOfCoils, we first started dating in January and became exclusive in February. He didn't skip that, but we got all boo'd up super fast for me. And him too, according to him.

Hmmph. Thanks y'all.
 
I'm mad. I'm not even sad. I don't want him anywhere near me but I already know what he got me for Christmas and I want that.

ETA: I don't expect anyone to read those long arse posts. Venting, I guess.

InchHighPrivateEye
I am so sorry! And I read all of these posts, usually I skim because your post can be long :giggle:, j/k :) but this is so important, I was so shocked, hurt, disappointed. You did the right thing to stand your ground. He has been hiding himself from you because he wanted to be with you. I want to slap him, hard:look:, for being deceptive. Decent black men are trying to believe the hype, but he got it all twisted, he forgot you are the prize. How dare he think living together and having babies is such a delicious offer. I am holding out hope that he will come to his senses, that he will apologize profusely and that this will be an episode you two laugh about years from now, as a married couple.
 
Thanks hopeful.

@InchHighPrivateEye
I am so sorry! And I read all of these posts, usually I skim because your post can be long :giggle:, j/k :) but this is so important, I was so shocked, hurt, disappointed. You did the right thing to stand your ground. He has been hiding himself from you because he wanted to be with you. I want to slap him, hard:look:, for being deceptive. Decent black men are trying to believe the hype, but he got it all twisted, he forgot you are the prize. How dare he think living together and having babies is such a delicious offer. I am holding out hope that he will come to his senses, that he will apologize profusely and that this will be an episode you two laugh about years from now, as a married couple.


I agree with all the bolded :grin:
 
We had a really bad breakdown in communication last night. His tone of voice really irked my nerves and even though what he was saying was actually sweet the delivery didn't go over well. I told him, I would call him back because I really wasn't feeling him at the moment and that made him upset with me.


I really love him and I know he loves me so hopefully we can keep working at our communication.

It is crazy that one of my best friends is the same way, love her to death but the tone of her voice when she speaks to me, makes me see red. I am ready to fight. I know she means well but she also admits it causes issues in her marriage because her husband shuts down when she talks sometimes.
 
And he hasn't seen me flirt! Yet. Because I have a date for tomorrow :look: I don't wanna go because I don't click with many guys and I really click with him--it feels like we think the sake stuff most of the time--but I gotta eat. :look: and I guess the date is why I haven't gotten sad yet. I'm still at the mad indignant part.

Go for the date. :look: I mean if hes gonna remind you that he has mad bs waiting around, you have the same too. shooo..

that doesnt mean you cant try to salvage it if you want to.

I really think he's rushing..then again..yall got exclsuive mad earlyt.then again you know how i feel about that..others disagree but that's just my not so humble opinion..does he need rent money like wtf is the obsession with you moving in..is he looking to get married or have a in-house gf..I cant tell from your posts and frankly Im not sure if you even know
 
So I now know he also got me a bracelet lol. He is no fun dammit!!! :lol: he also took me and dd out for a fab sushi dinner last night. Lawd it was good. I think we are exchanging gifts on Saturday even though he is coming over on Christmas Day

Sent from the corner pay phone
 
So I now know he also got me a bracelet lol. He is no fun dammit!!! :lol: he also took me and dd out for a fab sushi dinner last night. Lawd it was good. I think we are exchanging gifts on Saturday even though he is coming over on Christmas Day

Sent from the corner pay phone


Baby girl likes sushi?
 
kandake said:
Baby girl likes sushi?

Some stuff, like rainbow rolls :)

Last night I had ceviche rolls and oyster shooters for the first time. Oh. My. God!!!!!!!! I need to get back over there!

Sent from the corner pay phone
 
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