Mrs. N Lugo
New Member
Lord I wonder what I have done to make this race so hard to run. God please bring me through this.
Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Guitarhero as much as I want to accept your last message I can't.The whole meds thing doesn't work for most..I don't want to be drugged up for life.I would rather go through my ups and downs on their own.I will be going to my church for counseling bc much of it is stress related to not being where I should be..I do hate to be as angered as I do get at times though.
Ah today feels weird.I hate having to rebuild from scratch but I feel so broken.I know God can only build what's broken.I hope that I can one day be unjacked up.There is so much wrong with me on my personlity and persceptions but I know that much of it is payback for sins and not living properly.Conviction is a mother..not everything goes down smoothly when correction happens.But is what it is.I think I will be taking a break from this section of the board for a while.
Who says you can't cry in bible study lemme at 'em. You cry when you feel like crying girlee! I was in bed praying the other morning and just broke down crying when I reflected on the goodness of God. No, our worlds are far from perfect but we press on. We support and pray for each other here on the forum and we KIM bible in hand. Bleed all you want to, just don't stay there bleeding (think woman w/ the issue of blood). Just realize that the blood will coagulate when the right stuff is on the inside of you (and he is). Then you may have an ugly scab while you are healing but one day the scab will fall off. Then you will be well/ whole. God has called you to be a mighty woman for him. A lot of us can see that but you can't. It's not time for you to see it. Keep ya head up @GoddessMaker, your redemption draweth nigh. Here is a song I'd like to share with you by Canton Jones. God is love. Everytime you hear the song replace the word love with God. Tell me how you feel as that realization sinks in.Tonight was mind blowing.It showed me alot about my issues.I need to stop playing patch work on old stuff.I wonder why trying to put the new me in the old me don't work at all.It comes out in a insane anger.Its time to let some folks go some hurt go.It won't feel good but it will be better.I have gotten to comfortable being depressed,angry,and sad.I think because I feel that the only way I'm noticed.I'm tired of being sick and tired.I'm tired of running from the fight before I get there.
I never cry in bible study bc its bible study it ain't suppose to be that deep but yo tonight was like omg this word was for me and then my lady pastor just rubbed my back on the alter..I was the last one on there..I snot nosed false lashes wet but I didn't care bc I had to leave this crap at the alter..
I apologize for coming in this thread and being a bleeding wound.It's not Godly at all.Its not true to what God called me to be.If any know my real name they know its not a true testament to what I was named..I want to be used so its time to do what God has said,tithe,following through and let weight go so it doesn't slow me down anymore..I pray everyone will be awesome tomorrow..its a great day
I got into a debate at work that fat people aren't allowed to be with good people.I have never known a fat chick who gets a prize in a man..she always has to settle for alot of nonsense.I know there always is exemptions to the rule.I'm at a point that I want something more in life I just can't be bother with nonsense.I was sorta turned off a bit today when my office mother said are you on pills you are up and down and I keep going to down because it's whats comfortable what I know.I don't know what happy is or joy I haven't experienced that.I don't care if I live anymore I could die in traffic.Life is not sacred for me it would be a mind ease..Im tired of being there for others but not for me..which makes me not want to be there for anyone..