2011 - Christian Random Thoughts

Lord I wonder what I have done to make this race so hard to run. God please bring me through this.


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God I'm just blown away with your greatness.I have been so boggled down with stress esp about my car since I live in Texas and drive a bit for work.So my passenger side tire had been looking low but the gauge said it was fine.Today after running errands I notice the gauge is red meaning it's low.So I took it to Pep Boys and had them look at it.The first little guy tells me the thread is fine.But the service manager goes out and finds there is a nail in it.So they let this black guy who tries to cut corners when bring my car into the garage well he blow the already low tire that was going to get repaired..God knew I didn't like the whole repair thing but knew I couldn't afford to buy a new tire.Well I got my new tire for free..I can say that really affirm something for me even though I am not deserving God still provides..I may not give perfectly or am always the most optimistic but he is still great..I think at times when you know how good you are you just show out for no reason not for a ego boost but just because you know you can.

Hope all have a great week!
 
Beautiful reminder from my neighbor yesterday that the disciples were with Jesus three years until they asked him how to pray. He taught them, in the manner they were to pray. They were not the same after they learned. When a person comes into the knowledge of Christ, they know better and want to share that goodness. Hard to explain -- but keep pressing toward the mark Sisters in Christ! Resistance is expected, will come.. so we be prayerful ..and mindful of whom we come into contact with. Some will listen, others won't. Some can listen, others can't. Know which seeds have been given to you by the Father and which seed to water, which ones to nurture and which ones to plumb leave alone. He'll let you know which one is for you, and Amein~
 
I feel like death today even though the day started so great. I was upbeat and happy but then went to lunch and was near the guy from work that I liked then got another dear jane employment email.Im so fed up with this nonsense God.Blowing my brains out is the only realistic solution to my defective life.Do you know how many things I would have to fix before I would be normal I would be dead.I am trying to do things that and expected to perform at a level with those who are non defective.I feel so inadequate that I break at the sign of pressure.Im not equipped for this world this life of wanting to be more than a whore on welfare.I'm really hurting and want nothing more than relief and not to rise again as I can't for see any greatness..I know be grateful you could be greatly ill or homeless or something but all I have is trying to be something that will have money as I will die alone at least I could leave something for those who will never know me or to those who tolerated me while I existed in this world.
 
Goddessmaker, it's normal to feel defeat from time to time but you know that you need to keep on your meds and therapy. You need to talk to your doc when you get this low because you're off-balance chemically. If s/he is not available immediately, change doctors. I will pray you get the best care that you certainly deserve and that He gives you the strength to bear this cross to the best of your ability, to His glory. I mean this in agape...call your doctor as this is undue suffering.
 
Guitarhero as much as I want to accept your last message I can't.The whole meds thing doesn't work for most..I don't want to be drugged up for life.I would rather go through my ups and downs on their own.I will be going to my church for counseling bc much of it is stress related to not being where I should be..I do hate to be as angered as I do get at times though.

Ah today feels weird.I hate having to rebuild from scratch but I feel so broken.I know God can only build what's broken.I hope that I can one day be unjacked up.There is so much wrong with me on my personlity and persceptions but I know that much of it is payback for sins and not living properly.Conviction is a mother..not everything goes down smoothly when correction happens.But is what it is.I think I will be taking a break from this section of the board for a while.
 
GoddessMaker said:
Guitarhero as much as I want to accept your last message I can't.The whole meds thing doesn't work for most..I don't want to be drugged up for life.I would rather go through my ups and downs on their own.I will be going to my church for counseling bc much of it is stress related to not being where I should be..I do hate to be as angered as I do get at times though.

Ah today feels weird.I hate having to rebuild from scratch but I feel so broken.I know God can only build what's broken.I hope that I can one day be unjacked up.There is so much wrong with me on my personlity and persceptions but I know that much of it is payback for sins and not living properly.Conviction is a mother..not everything goes down smoothly when correction happens.But is what it is.I think I will be taking a break from this section of the board for a while.
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G-d provided the plants and minerals for as much healing as is prayer to heaven. If there is a chemical imbalance that can be helped, then suffer to find the right combination for awhile to have a better quality of life under medical supervision which is implement a combination of counseling and medicinal therapy. Imbalance can be a danger not only to you, but to others around you. If you don't give it a try, then you have not availed yourself of help and solutions that Creator has given us. This is a very serious situation and running away from the truth is not going to rectify the situation. If counseling doesn't help solely, it's time to move onto that which can help you. Lots of people think G-d will provide a magic prayer bullet when He's saying, "take the medicine."
 
How do you know, if you're called to be a prophet? because God isn't telling me anything...I want to know my purpose. I know it's with helping and possibly leading others but I dont know. I sometimes carry the burden of others, just meeting random people something. I can see or feel sometimes when people are calling out for help. I met a young woman today and I wanted to befriend her so bad because I felt like she was going through a lot. but my shyness got that the best of me and I let her go w/o getting her number (because i felt like a weirdo). Maybe i am crazy!! if i see her again, than I know theres purpose somewhere.
 
Tonight was mind blowing.It showed me alot about my issues.I need to stop playing patch work on old stuff.I wonder why trying to put the new me in the old me don't work at all.It comes out in a insane anger.Its time to let some folks go some hurt go.It won't feel good but it will be better.I have gotten to comfortable being depressed,angry,and sad.I think because I feel that the only way I'm noticed.I'm tired of being sick and tired.I'm tired of running from the fight before I get there.

I never cry in bible study bc its bible study it ain't suppose to be that deep but yo tonight was like omg this word was for me and then my lady pastor just rubbed my back on the alter..I was the last one on there..I snot nosed false lashes wet but I didn't care bc I had to leave this crap at the alter..

I apologize for coming in this thread and being a bleeding wound.It's not Godly at all.Its not true to what God called me to be.If any know my real name they know its not a true testament to what I was named..I want to be used so its time to do what God has said,tithe,following through and let weight go so it doesn't slow me down anymore..I pray everyone will be awesome tomorrow..its a great day
 
GoddessMaker said:
Tonight was mind blowing.It showed me alot about my issues.I need to stop playing patch work on old stuff.I wonder why trying to put the new me in the old me don't work at all.It comes out in a insane anger.Its time to let some folks go some hurt go.It won't feel good but it will be better.I have gotten to comfortable being depressed,angry,and sad.I think because I feel that the only way I'm noticed.I'm tired of being sick and tired.I'm tired of running from the fight before I get there.

I never cry in bible study bc its bible study it ain't suppose to be that deep but yo tonight was like omg this word was for me and then my lady pastor just rubbed my back on the alter..I was the last one on there..I snot nosed false lashes wet but I didn't care bc I had to leave this crap at the alter..

I apologize for coming in this thread and being a bleeding wound.It's not Godly at all.Its not true to what God called me to be.If any know my real name they know its not a true testament to what I was named..I want to be used so its time to do what God has said,tithe,following through and let weight go so it doesn't slow me down anymore..I pray everyone will be awesome tomorrow..its a great day
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Who says you can't cry in bible study:boxing: lemme at 'em. You cry when you feel like crying girlee! I was in bed praying the other morning and just broke down crying when I reflected on the goodness of God. No, our worlds are far from perfect but we press on. We support and pray for each other here on the forum and we KIM bible in hand:yep:. Bleed all you want to, just don't stay there bleeding (think woman w/ the issue of blood). Just realize that the blood will coagulate when the right stuff is on the inside of you (and he is). Then you may have an ugly scab while you are healing but one day the scab will fall off:yep:. Then you will be well/ whole. God has called you to be a mighty woman for him. A lot of us can see that but you can't. It's not time for you to see it:blush:. Keep ya head up @GoddessMaker, your redemption draweth nigh:yep:. Here is a song I'd like to share with you by Canton Jones. God is love. Everytime you hear the song replace the word love with God. Tell me how you feel as that realization sinks in.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMyt26sKJWE
I Believe In Love (Lyrics)

Verse:
I do believe in love (2X)
Love is inspirational
Your love is sensational
I do believe, Oh
I believe, Oh I do believe in love
Verse:
I won’t give up on love (2X)
It’s easy to see
That love didn’t give up on me
I won’t give up
No matter what, I won’t give up
Oh, I won’t give up on love
Verse:
We should give love a try (2X)
Love can only free us
Love will never fail us
I do believe, I do believe
I, I do believe in love yeah
Verse:
Don’t give up on love (2X)
(Let me tell you about love)
Love will make you smile
When you feel like crying
Love will make you live
When you feel like dying
Love will come and get ya
When you feel you’re stranded
Love won’t walk away
Love gives understanding
And if it’s love you’re lacking
I just want to say
Reach deep in your heart and
Give some love away
Love
Give some love away (3X)
I believe in love (2X)
 
:rosebud:A short but sweet song for whoever needs it. All God wants is to be first in our hearts!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG6yLTKym9E
You Have My Heart (Lyrics)- Canton Jones

Verse:

You have my heart

In the good times and the bad

When I’m happy and I’m sad

You have my heart

You have my heart no matter come what may

I won’t be ashamed to say, that you have my heart

Chorus:

Oh you have my heart

And no matter where I go, I will always let it show

That you have my heart

And in all that we go through

I will always be with you cause you have my heart
 
How can one remove social responsibility from the walk in Christ? I don't give a rat's behind how much it's "dogmatized," if you've done wrong, you've done wrong and you wadn't Jesus in that moment. But get this, the ramnifications are international, bro, and throughout the generations! What the hay? I mean, there truly is a difference between how our clearer brothers view truth and their responsibility under Christ. For Pete's sake! Don't you get it...."Jesus died for YOUR sins?" :wallbash: He's still bleedin' dood.
 
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"And God spoke to Elijah, Elijah, go out and stand on the mountain before the Lord." And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountain and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but God was not in the wind; and after the wind, an earthquake, but God was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake, a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and then after the fire came a still, small voice."
I Kings 19: 11-12

[/FONT]
 
Today was super fantastically awesome.I got to go to both my church's prayer breakfast and singles event.Both were great.The breakfast was so good and then I could eat the food since they did turkey products instead of pork.The pastor was on fire.I'm not a morning person so I didn't do alot of talking at my table but I asked one of ladies are you finished with your plate that was on my table she was like yes.That sparked something in her bc she went around asking could she help others at their table..Lord I just did what I felt you wanted..didn't mean to start nothing..

Then at the singles even which was small it was still great.It was a a lunch and q and a type of set up.One of the Rev that is a guy seems to be sweet on me.He gave me to kisses on the cheek..I don't think he does that with just everyone or I hope not.I messed with him bc he seems to be the ladies man type but his testimony was great.He is cute through.I was asked by one of the lady Rev if I was in any ministry and if I was a member.I said no to the ministry but yes I was a member..she was like ok you need to be in the singles ministry your fashionable,well spoken and motivating..so I think I will be apart of prayer ministry and singles..This will be awesome journey in my spiritual life.I want God in alot of ways so its time to submit to his word and do the work to make it happen.

I also am learning my mouth is like wow.I have power in this mouth,it's my gift and notice it can make or break atmospheres so I really need to watch what I say.Have a blessed restful weekend.
 
I'm increasingly more convinced that there really is only one answer to the vast majority of the questions we have for the Lord: Grow in holiness, walk in the Spirit, and die to the self (soul life).

Of course, we do have practical questions and needs. But if we are abiding in the Lord through holiness, faith and self denial, then we will simply be in His flow. We'll hear Him clearly and accurately, our needs will be provided for, and we'll be where we need to be when we need to be there.

But there just aren't any shortcuts. I believe that often the patience that waiting on the Lord requires isn't necessarily about Him so much as it is about us being formed and fashioned into what we need to be to truly hear Him and carry out His will.
_________________________________________________

Edifying Message: "God Wrote Your Scenario" -Derek Prince
http://www.omegaministry.org/Messages/God-Wrote-Your-Scenario-Part-1.wma
 
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GoddessMaker said:
I got into a debate at work that fat people aren't allowed to be with good people.I have never known a fat chick who gets a prize in a man..she always has to settle for alot of nonsense.I know there always is exemptions to the rule.I'm at a point that I want something more in life I just can't be bother with nonsense.I was sorta turned off a bit today when my office mother said are you on pills you are up and down and I keep going to down because it's whats comfortable what I know.I don't know what happy is or joy I haven't experienced that.I don't care if I live anymore I could die in traffic.Life is not sacred for me it would be a mind ease..Im tired of being there for others but not for me..which makes me not want to be there for anyone..
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I know this is late--just read it. But the fact is that tons of women of all shapes, sizes, colors, and levels of attractiveness are dealing with nonsense from unworthy men. It has little to do with size and everything to do with personal choices. Women get who they allow in their lives.

I think discerning the intentions behind people attempting to pigeonhole a group of people into the "leftovers" category is important. It only serves to bolster their own sense of superiority and weed out competition because they can make you feel like you're out of the running.
 
I thank God that Hurricane Irene has come and gone and left very little damage in my area. God was very gracious to everyone here. I love how the people in this community come together and help each other out in times of need. Even though I had to go without power for a while, sometimes it's relieving to not have it around because you often allow it to rob you of genuine quiet time with the Lord.
 
God I love you I love you on today because you have loved me in a special way..I know everyday won't be like this but today was good.No one one gave me a thing I just made the best of what I have.I am enjoying my coworkers and I am learning to be gentle on myself even though that is mad hard.But I think back to my counseling session at church God I don't know what today may bring but help me to go in the path you desire.Its a day by day..how foolish of me Lord to plan my future when I haven't consulted you first.maybe that's why certain things haven't gone the way I desired.
 
I'm so tired right now.I don't know if it means I'm going a low point right now but I am.I'm tired of trying to be accomdating to others.I'm tired of working at my place of employment.I am damaged goods here and there nothing I can do to make that any better.I want to cry bc Im tired of being rejected.Instead of ppl just giving me a bit of space they just say f you and act as though they are more important.I think I will be deleting all office numbers from my cell which will make it defintely empty.But it doesn't matter.One day I may get a good social group.Its sad that I have a better social life on this site than in real life.
 
Speaking of self-esteem, I find myself great!!! It's just the other people who don't find me so great. :look: :lachen: It's not what they think, it's what I know that He created, loves and provides for. :yep:
 
Lord I love you, and I thank you for healing my body. I am convinced that there is nothing you cannot do when we believe and trust you.

If there is anyone reading this that is sick I pray that you touch, heal and make them whole right now in the Name of Jesus!
 
Lord right now I come to you in prayer.Only you can handle this situation.See my money isn't running long enough.I'm scared to pay full tithes bc I'm narrow in my sight about provision.I only feel that is for some not all.When my pastor was doing bible study and was talking about bills getting paid I was like well Idk I haven't had that type of blessing but I am grateful that I do have a job right now which is a blessing within itself.

Right now I feel Im on a tight rope.I need extra money so I can get this credit card debt down and gone and I need to build a small savings so I won't have to use those cards so much.I have a interview for a call center and I have worked there before so I know it won't be too hard.
In the same breathe I want to take some classes at church about praying and the other about purpose in life but they are at night.I won't be able to attend bible study or church regularly as my schedule will be all over the place.

I don't know what to do.I know the flesh is saying bump the church stuff and make the money but there is another part that really wants to foster my walk in Christ like never before.I wish there were happy medium.Please pray my praying ladies.I need it.
 
It takes the Holy Spirit to understand that you can receive the good you don't deserve because Jesus took your bad.
 
I so hate feeling like this. So frustrated. Round and around, same mistakes. Wow, seems like I'mma really have to pray hard. Real hard. Without ceasing hard. Lord please bridle my little fiery member and help me to give soft answers. Heart hurts. Tired... :(
 
When you don't comprehend what's happening and why, it's okay to question. Express it to Him. Work it all out. But realize this, those who are evil, getting everything they want, they are living in hell without G-d but don't realize it. In your moment of great stress, you're not living in hell, you're living with Him. :yep:
 
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