WhipEffectz, hang in there! It gets better...and honestly it is one of the best decisions I have ever made! Stick with it! I think the beginning and the end are the toughest times
I have experienced some life transforming things as a direct result of my obedience to God and my sacrifice. And honestly, not one of the blessings has been monetary or material in nature, but I don't think that is the point anyway IMO...God is transforming my mind, my attitude and my actions! I can't even express or put a specific value on that. please just know it is a miracle! I have spent more time than any other period of my life talking to Him, listening to Him speak to me AND OBEYING WHAT HE SAYS TO ME, which is groundbreaking for me
I have a rampant disobedient, unhumble and rebellious streak that He is working to break down in me! What a gift that the God of the universe even cares enough to personally help me become better...
Now don't get me wrong, I welcome any material blessings God has in store for me (bc a sistah is broke!)
But I know God's plan for me is so much bigger than that...He wants all of us to experience life more abundantly, which includes finances, but also spiritual, emotional, physical, occupational, and intellectual needs! He has been blessing me so abundantly in the spiritual and emotional areas that I feel like shouting all the time to declare His goodness! I need so much work overall that I didn't even really fast with a specific area in mind
I just want Him to change me, rearrange me, improve me and use me for His purposes and glorification! Anyway He wants to do that, I am open to receive it! Abba knows best after all and I think I am finally starting to trust that and behave accordingly! Thank you Jesus that my breakthrough is already here and you still aren't done with me yet!!! How good is our God?! It makes me cry bc He is so wonderful and loves each one of us so much