phynestone
Well-Known Member
I am definitely being tested right now. I will not lose focus on the goals I've set for myself.
Please pray for all in that Long situation and please pray that nobody commits suicide.
I'm scared to face this situation. It's been looming there for awhile and I knew I'd come to this point. I don't want a bad outcome. I don't suspect it will be but it's so hard to push forward and move onto the next level. I want my blessing. I have to trust. Please pray for me. I feel that I'm on the verge of that great blessing I've been praying for...but there's this something first I have to do. I'm scared of it because it has represented so much oppression in my life. Please pray I have the strength to move forward without fear and that I have a good outcome.
I will stop typing I know you ladies get bored of things like this.I don't know how to feel or think.Im nothing yet in my definition but eventually I will be great like so many here.
I don't know where to post this and I don't want to blog tonight.My step father as some know was my abuser and jacked me up for all my childhood.It has been hard living back at home since he here.Well this morning I had enough with him cursing at my mother about little things.I asked him why do you have to be mean to her.She does everything for you.Isn't she entitled to a mistake or two.He then went to say he didn't curse and that he wasn't mad but I told him his tone was so angry.
Then I went in my room and he came into my room and talked to me about how sorry he was for all the years of abuse,and how he is so proud of me and that he is more proud of me than any of my relatives bc I sent me to school alone.He said that his sole purpose is that he say my potential when I was two.Its funny how I always wondered why I was singled out so bad.I had to show him that as much as you say I can't I can.He also said that he happy Im back and that I made him proud by graduating and that I can do anything bc of my mind.
The whole time I wanted to hit him in the face,stomp on him,and scream.How could you say these things now.I'm already blanked up now.Right now my heart and soul is just soaring.Like it needed that to release itself from its self-imposed prison.
I will stop typing I know you ladies get bored of things like this.I don't know how to feel or think.Im nothing yet in my definition but eventually I will be great like so many here.
Psalms 27:4
One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.