10 Signs of a Good Woman, from a man's POV
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Bunny77
New Member
@ the red bolded - depended on the event, if I had a good time & the mood I was in - I may have done the same!Again, I just see it as a nice gesture. Now if an observing man sees it as me being a "good woman" thats on him.
And you know what? If you're doing it cause you want to, then keep on! I'm just hoping that some silly single girls don't read that list and go, "OMG, this is why I don't have a man! Lemme go clean up after my crushes more/cook more/buy them little trinkets/pay for dates. Then I KNOW I'll find my KANG!!!! Yeah!"
^^^I used to do the car door thing seriously, and a man did say, "Wow, that's so cool!"
But that was in 2000.
Every car I've been in since then has had automatic locks!
We have one car that's a 198somthing and a 1993 sidekick, so you have to manually unlock the doors.
Ramya
New Member
Actually I am single because I am unmarried. BUT that doesn't mean that I am not seeing someone because I am. If we can make it 6 more months of great friendship and everything continues to be on the up and up we might consider courtship.
I don't discuss my courtship on LHCF because most people date and do not understand what we are trying to do.
OMG this post, its funny because before I started reading it, I thought of something this guy I once dated told me.
He had just taken me out on a very nice date, and I mean, we weren't to a level of seriousness yet, still getting to know one another. Anyway, he unlocked the door and opened my door before he got in the car. On his way around the truck, I unlocked his door, and he got in the car and said that I might be his wife one day. I was like, why? He said have you ever seen A Bronx Tale? I said yeah, he repeated the reason why he said what he said, and he said that part of the movie was on point.
It is so weird that this was one of the numbers in the article before I even read it
ETA: I am happy the author ended his list with "Fellas, I hope you know that this list goes both ways, and ladies, I hope y’all were listening and taking notes."
I think the conflict lies with our relationships is often we feel this sense of entitlement and don't want to bother to reciprocate. For a man to say that the list goes both ways says alot.
that was something the guys went by when I was in high school. And I graduated long before that move came out.Not to beat a dead horse
If any of you know men
you will see that the things on the list are VERY simple, men are simple. It seems to me that 5, 6, 9, 10 are more about stroking his ego which men REALLY need and want and 7, 8, 2 are showing that you appreciate the things he does for you. I don't know but really....would you wait for a man to propose marriage before you ever cooked him a meal? Or let him have a bite of your food?
I also need to say that this IMO was written from a man's perspective but we don't really know how men 'date'. See, they don't meet someone and then they are getting married after 3.5 dates, they date many females until some little small thing makes them realize she is "the one" to be in a committed relationship with. This is why I say women should date like men. We get rid of all our male prospect after we've gone on a few dates with one man, whereas most men are still out feeling out other females.
During this time I'm not saying run over and cook him a meal, give up the drawls or start doing random cleaning in his house...as he gives, you should give, it would be fairly obvious as a relationship develops what you should and shouldn't do.....but men think "committed" in much different terms than we do. That's all.
If any of you know men
you will see that the things on the list are VERY simple, men are simple. It seems to me that 5, 6, 9, 10 are more about stroking his ego which men REALLY need and want and 7, 8, 2 are showing that you appreciate the things he does for you. I don't know but really....would you wait for a man to propose marriage before you ever cooked him a meal? Or let him have a bite of your food?I also need to say that this IMO was written from a man's perspective but we don't really know how men 'date'. See, they don't meet someone and then they are getting married after 3.5 dates, they date many females until some little small thing makes them realize she is "the one" to be in a committed relationship with. This is why I say women should date like men. We get rid of all our male prospect after we've gone on a few dates with one man, whereas most men are still out feeling out other females.
During this time I'm not saying run over and cook him a meal, give up the drawls or start doing random cleaning in his house...as he gives, you should give, it would be fairly obvious as a relationship develops what you should and shouldn't do.....but men think "committed" in much different terms than we do. That's all.
Vanity1
Well-Known Member
^^^I used to do the car door thing seriously, and a man did say, "Wow, that's so cool!"
But that was in 2000.
Every car I've been in since then has had automatic locks!
Yeah, this was a LONG time ago.
I just thought it was cute to see. I have some very fond dating memories, that was one of them. 
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
Like Re Re said, if you want a 'do right' woman, you gotta be a do right man. As I said in an earlier post, I did a lot of those things for DH (when we were dating) because of the type of man he was/is. I don't think there's anything wrong with a man asking for kindess, consideration, and compassion as long as he fully expects and intends to return the favor. Some men will talk all day about what they aren't getting from women (and, in all fairness, some women do the same thing), but what they don't tell you is they aren't exactly putting their best foot forward either.
Another issue is that some men have DW expectations of their SO and SO expectations of a female friend. If a man isn't acting like DH he shouldn't expect to get treated like one (and the same thing goes for being a SO). Men have always differentiated between the way they treat their wives v.s. girlfriends v.s. friends and they've always felt that it's okay (and I can't say I disagree with this). Now that women are playing that game, some men want to change the rules?
Vanity1
Well-Known Member
Not to beat a dead horse
If any of you know men
I also need to say that this IMO was written from a man's perspective but we don't really know how men 'date'. See, they don't meet someone and then they are getting married after 3.5 dates, they date many females until some little small thing makes them realize she is "the one" to be in a committed relationship with. This is why I say women should date like men. We get rid of all our male prospect after we've gone on a few dates with one man, whereas most men are still out feeling out other females.
During this time I'm not saying run over and cook him a meal, give up the drawls or start doing random cleaning in his house...as he gives, you should give, it would be fairly obvious as a relationship develops what you should and shouldn't do.....but men think "committed" in much different terms than we do. That's all.
If I tell other chicks the bolded, they think I mean just *** everyone you meet.
And they be the same chicks that end up as **** buddies when they want to be more or they sick of the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and feel stuck cause they are together. I think if women dated like men, so many issues would be avoided, but then again we are socialized to please and serve, which is another reason alot of people MIGHT have a problem with the dudes article.
And I def. agree when you say men are simple. I agree with you all the time on that.
Summer_Rain
Well-Known Member
Actually I am single because I am unmarried. BUT that doesn't mean that I am not seeing someone because I am. If we can make it 6 more months of great friendship and everything continues to be on the up and up we might consider courtship.
I don't discuss my courtship on LHCF because most people date and do not understand what we are trying to do.
Well that's great! And perhaps this guy is your male counterpart & just didnt disclose his status for similar reasons.
If I tell other chicks the bolded, they think I mean just *** everyone you meet.
I think if women dated like men, so many issues would be avoided, but then again we are socialized to please and serve, which is another reason alot of people MIGHT have a problem with the dudes article.
And I def. agree when you say men are simple. I agree with you all the time on that.
Oh yeah I've had to make the distinction between "dating in college", i.e. bed buddies and dating as an adult, IMO for some girls, there's a MAJOR difference
I think the lax-ness of being young, in college makes *some* women think sloring around is "dating".No, when I say this, I try and explain that I mean meet a guy, date him, but continue to date the other doodes too, don't drop Man A, because you think Man B is where it's at, date both so when Man B drops the "I'm not ready for a relationship" after dating him for six months,
you aren't assed out having spent 6 months wasting your time. While you're sitting around thinking Man B is "your man" he's thinking ya'll have been "hanging out". I think a relationship needs to be defined after a certain time but don't define it yourself.
Ramya
New Member
Oh yeah I've had to make the distinction between "dating in college", i.e. bed buddies and dating as an adult, IMO for some girls, there's a MAJOR difference
No, when I say this, I try and explain that I mean meet a guy, date him, but continue to date the other doodes too, don't drop Man A, because you think Man B is where it's at, date both so when Man B drops the "I'm not ready for a relationship" after dating him for six months,
I agree. Dude has to earn that A spot by showing and telling me that I am what he wants. Otherwise we are still 'friends' and Ramya can see whomever else she wants to
I don't like sharing my food, so I guess I don't qualify
I don't like people putting their forks on my plate but I will share by giving you a little of my food with my fork. We don't do that in my house though, I think it's nasty.
I remember my niece being at my house. We are all eating the same thing and she's looking at me with her mouth wide open, wanting some of my food.
erplexed I had to let her know we don't eat off of people plate here, in this house, that's nasty and tell ya moma I said so.
Ramya
New Member
I don't like people putting their forks on my plate but I will share by giving you a little of my food with my fork. We don't do that in my house though, I think it's nasty.
I remember my niece being at my house. We are all eating the same thing and she's looking at me with her mouth wide open, wanting some of my food.
Summer_Rain
Well-Known Member
I'm going to ask some men I know--including dh-- about this list. I think we are reading it wayyyyyyyy wrong
It's threads like these and then the ones about having a man "pay your bills", that make me think :scratchch
I'm gonna send it to my squad and see what they have to say lol
Summer_Rain
Well-Known Member
LOL@ squad. um what's that
The way I'm using it - several, like 4 or 5. Weed 'em out weed 'em out weed 'em out!
Summer_Rain
Well-Known Member
I guess I am the minority cause I don't see nothing wrong with the list.
Other than the tipping...thats pushing it.
lol. The reason I see the tipping thing as pushing it is really because I want to gauge how stindy his behind is!
Sometimes you have to let people know that's not cute.
I guess I am the minority cause I don't see nothing wrong with the list.
Other than the tipping...thats pushing it.
Yeah, see I agree with the tipping thing too. Even if dude doesn't accept it, you offered, ya know? I would and I'm SUPER princess-y, super...I don't stand for ish from a man
When I read this it reminds me of the kind of things I want from a good friend. Someone who is giving, not selfish, supportive, and considerate. And I guess he felt those things he listed are some indicators of that. None of them are a big deal when two people have a close relationship. I don't think it makes a difference whether its a guy or a girl. It reminds me of the story of Isaac and Rebecca and the "test" that Abraham's servant had for the woman he would pick for Isaac. They were still pursuing the girl and did everything it took to get her, but they wanted to ensure that she was essentially a "good woman". Just my two cents, I don't see anything wrong with this article. Like I said, I'd like to see this in my own friends anyway.
htown2DAboot
New Member
from the blog publisher of 10 Signs of a Good Woman...
I really appreciate the insight from those here, altho some of the initial responses that I read had me feeling that my idea about doing this was not a good one. With that, I would like to respond to a few things that I read. First, please do understand that this list is only mentioning factors, which represents things that contribute to a end result: marriage; and this is just a snapshot of processes that will hopefully take me towards that end result. I appreciate the journey and knowing how I have to touch the heart of my future wife, and I purposely did not state things such as trust, committment, etc. b/c - well let's be honest -these are prerequisites to an impending relationship in the first place. And as I am a single man here, I want to peel the onion by going in more depth in sharing what separates her from the others... what enhances my want to provide for her... and what puts that icing on the cake when it comes to how I look to be the best man that I can be for her - "her" being a girlfriend which I would want to ultimately be my wife. But if she doesn't wanna help wash dishes to help out the fellas, this is not a deal killer. And if she doesn't lift the door lock, it's all good. These are the small things that, if shown, simply separates you.
This post is also a personal celebration of my personal maturity in learning to value things that are far more important than the superficial - factors, which consisted of a checklist that could range from a woman's skin tone, height and figure (and yes her momma better look good too), to income, career, and even age. So this is also shared to help lift the senses (of my male readers) to learn to value, appreciate, and share in doing the small things that mean a lot in the growth of a relationship. Reciprocation is key here.
I also feel that a man must be qualified to be able to feel good about these things in the first place, so when I say that this list goes both ways, I am really saying that aside from #1 and 8, this guy that you are sharing a meal with is a guy that is meeting your standards as well.
This may not be a perfect list, so I am open to more suggestions, especially from a female's point of view. I'm learning alot here... thank ya'll for the feedback.
Also, please subscribe if you like the site. Thanks again.
RonS
www.anythingurban.com publisher
I really appreciate the insight from those here, altho some of the initial responses that I read had me feeling that my idea about doing this was not a good one. With that, I would like to respond to a few things that I read. First, please do understand that this list is only mentioning factors, which represents things that contribute to a end result: marriage; and this is just a snapshot of processes that will hopefully take me towards that end result. I appreciate the journey and knowing how I have to touch the heart of my future wife, and I purposely did not state things such as trust, committment, etc. b/c - well let's be honest -these are prerequisites to an impending relationship in the first place. And as I am a single man here, I want to peel the onion by going in more depth in sharing what separates her from the others... what enhances my want to provide for her... and what puts that icing on the cake when it comes to how I look to be the best man that I can be for her - "her" being a girlfriend which I would want to ultimately be my wife. But if she doesn't wanna help wash dishes to help out the fellas, this is not a deal killer. And if she doesn't lift the door lock, it's all good. These are the small things that, if shown, simply separates you.
This post is also a personal celebration of my personal maturity in learning to value things that are far more important than the superficial - factors, which consisted of a checklist that could range from a woman's skin tone, height and figure (and yes her momma better look good too), to income, career, and even age. So this is also shared to help lift the senses (of my male readers) to learn to value, appreciate, and share in doing the small things that mean a lot in the growth of a relationship. Reciprocation is key here.
I also feel that a man must be qualified to be able to feel good about these things in the first place, so when I say that this list goes both ways, I am really saying that aside from #1 and 8, this guy that you are sharing a meal with is a guy that is meeting your standards as well.
This may not be a perfect list, so I am open to more suggestions, especially from a female's point of view. I'm learning alot here... thank ya'll for the feedback.
Also, please subscribe if you like the site. Thanks again.
RonS
www.anythingurban.com publisher
htown2DAboot
New Member
thanks again everyone
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nappystorm
Well-Known Member
Most of which I have done. But he lost me on the sharing of the food. I will if he's paying but that's an instant turn off to me
Divine_Order
New Member
Great list....though these same men need to create a top 10 list for the reasons they choose not to date said "Good Woman".erplexed
erplexed
Ramya
New Member
Great list....though these same men need to create a top 10 list for the reasons they choose not to date said "Good Woman".
Thank you. They recognize that she's a good woman and move on to something else. I don't get it. There are a lot of single 'good women'.
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