10 Signs of a Good Woman, from a man's POV

[htown2DAboot]

What do you ladies think of this? (if you like what you read or the site, subscribe to it!)

http://anythingurban.com/

 

[*~Mocha~*]

A 'Good Woman' cant really be defined IMO.

ehh on 2,7,8 Those do not necessarily mean shes a good woman.

honest, intelligent, caring, respectful shouldve been in there



Just like my "definition" of a good man (can't really be defined), it all depends on what you like, feel and see. From there, we're all going to have a long list of preferences

 

[1Aleeesha]

I think a man especially a black man (but I'm not really sure) wants to be babied and spoiled. They need to know that you are there for them and that you are not so wrapped in yourself and other things that you can't be with them.


Honestly if a man said it, I believe that he is not the only man who feels this way. I'm sure the list goes on and on and if I was single and looking and have been looking for a long time - I'd start with taking heed to what that man said at least. Women often make the mistake of not taking what a man said for what it really is that he said and in the end getting hurt. It makes sense that he doesn't want someone selfish and who can only please him in the bed and nothing else - that gets old, QUICK!

 

[LBoogie]

What-ever!

Number two is a crock of crap especially because any good man would have a dishwasher. I get on DH everytime he leaves a dish on the counter right on TOP of the dishwasher (what is THAT about?). It takes the same effort to leave it on the counter that it takes to put in the dern dishwasher.


Shares her food? what? dude, if you wanted it, you should have ordered it. If we're eating the same meal, you should have gotten enough to satisfy you. I'll let you TASTE my food, but giving you an extra fork/knife or spoon to dig in? puhleeze! That's worse than the "give him da big piece of chicken" bit.

The others? those are sings of normal, half-way decent PEOPLE.

 

[LBoogie]

I think a man especially a black man (but I'm not really sure) wants to be babied and spoiled. They need to know that you are there for them and that you are not so wrapped in yourself and other things that you can't be with them.

Honestly if a man said it, I believe that he is not the only man who feels this way. I'm sure the list goes on and on and if I was single and looking and have been looking for a long time - I'd start with taking heed to what that man said at least. Women often make the mistake of not taking what a man said for what it really is that he said and in the end getting hurt. It makes sense that he doesn't want someone selfish and who can only please him in the bed and nothing else - that gets old, QUICK!

I think THAT type of man needs to crawl into his gradmama's womb and be birthed again in a century that would be fitting that ideal. My daddy and my papa raised me to know that I was supposed to be babied and spoiled. THEY were men, that taught a girl to understand REAL men.

I aint babying a dern thing, and the only thing that gets frequently spoiled on MY watch is milk (because DH's tummy doesn't respond well to it, as much as he gulps it down).

 

[aribell]

The sharing your food thing is a no-go for me. Not everyone lets other people eat off their plate.

I love that scene from A Bronx Tale, though.

 

[LBoogie]

The sharing your food thing is a no-go for me. Not everyone lets other people eat off their plate.

I love that scene from A Bronx Tale, though.

Shoot, depending on the neighborhood, I LOCK the doors when I'm in..."Use YOUR key! you know what type of danger lies within 20 seconds!?"

 

[MrsHdrLe]

Oh Wow, I'm a "Good Woman" AND STILL SINGLE!!! great.erplexed I knew all of these and I do these on g.p. b/c that's how I am, but unfortunately, this type of behavior usually attracts selfish, greedy, narcissists.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I'm not interested in the kind of guy that made of those rules.

So, carry on........

 

[cherryhair123]

I think this is soooo true. When my SO and I broke up and we had an honest talk, he listed most of these as being problems he had with me. At the time I thought it was real petty, but seeing it here said by someone else speaks volume. I don't really think it's up to us to judge it. I just appreciate knowing that's what's important to SOME of them.

 

[1Aleeesha]

I think this is soooo true. When my SO and I broke up and we had an honest talk, he listed most of these as being problems he had with me. At the time I thought it was real petty, but seeing it here said by someone else speaks volume. I don't really think it's up to us to judge it. I just appreciate knowing that's what's important to SOME of them.

And that's my point I don't think the fellow should be ignored. And we do also have to draw our own lines and set our own standards or they will run over top of us if we don't...

 

[Bunny77]

Oh Wow, I'm a "Good Woman" AND STILL SINGLE!!! great.erplexed I knew all of these and I do these on g.p. b/c that's how I am, but unfortunately, this type of behavior usually attracts selfish, greedy, narcissists.

I would suggest that you stop doing many of these types of things.

I dunno, but MOST of the things that this man suggests are things that most women are advised NOT to do unless she is already a wife. (especially the doing the man's dishes, offering to cook something for him regularly, etc.)

I think more women would be better off learning how to RECEIVE more and to give LESS.


Also, I didn't see any mention in this article about the men being MARRIED to the women that do these things for them... they keep saying "lady friend."

So obviously, they enjoy receiving from their "lady friends" but they still haven't found one good enough to marry... interesting.

Throwing said article onto crap pile...

 

[MD_Lady]

This list kind of has a "Cosmo for guys" flair to it.

 

[MD_Lady]

I would suggest that you stop doing many of these types of things.

I dunno, but ALL of the things that this man suggests are things that most women are advised NOT to do unless she is already a wife. (especially the doing the man's dishes, offering to cook something for him regularly, etc.)

I think more women would be better off learning how to RECEIVE more and to give LESS.


Also, I didn't see any mention in this article about the men being MARRIED to the women that do these things for them... they keep saying "lady friend."

So obviously, they enjoy receiving from their "lady friends" but they still haven't found one good enough to marry... interesting.

Throwing said article onto crap pile...

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I would suggest that you stop doing many of these types of things.

I dunno, but ALL of the things that this man suggests are things that most women are advised NOT to do unless she is already a wife. (especially the doing the man's dishes, offering to cook something for him regularly, etc.)

I think more women would be better off learning how to RECEIVE more and to give LESS.


Also, I didn't see any mention in this article about the men being MARRIED to the women that do these things for them... they keep saying "lady friend."

So obviously, they enjoy receiving from their "lady friends" but they still haven't found one good enough to marry... interesting.

Throwing said article onto crap pile...

I agree with the bolded.

Why should women feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty about wanting more from a man? That's how it should be. A "real" man would want it that way.

Women that keep giving more and more of themselves to a man, will get less and less from him.

Be careful how you start off a relationship with men--all that catering to them. You might regret it.

 

[bimbabe]

Hmmm
is it OK for me to go against the tide and say that I see nothing wrong with the article.

Like MD Lady said...this has a "Cosmo for guys" kind of feel to it...so why don't we indulge our guys in some of the things on the list sometimes. The author is not saying do everything all at once. In "Cosmo for girls" some of the things women need guys to do to "be a good man" are just as ridiculous...but yet we still expect them to do them sometimes. We subscribe to the he must pay for meals, he must open car doors so what is wrong with some of the things this article is suggesting that men value in a woman.

Why is it so much "crap" to stroke a man's ego...make him feel appreciated? What is wrong with after he cooks a meal offering to do the dishes? After he pays for the dinner leaving the tip? Come on now...this is the 21st Century! Plus we have more insight now more than ever as to how guys work...why expect them to cater to our needs and bend when we say bend but we cannot reciprocate sometimes.

I hope the list is not a complete description as to what the author is looking for in a woman...to me he listed a few small things...and trust me as someone dealing with a recent breakup...it is the small things that are important to a person in a relationship that count.

 

[Ramya]

Ummm No. Do that mess if you want to but how many times do you hear women complaining about doing all of the above and getting jack in return? He can keep that mess.

 

[Ramya]

Hmmm
is it OK for me to go against the tide and say that I see nothing wrong with the article.

Like MD Lady said...this has a "Cosmo for guys" kind of feel to it...so why don't we indulge our guys in some of the things on the list sometimes. The author is not saying do everything all at once. In "Cosmo for girls" some of the things women need guys to do to "be a good man" are just as ridiculous...but yet we still expect them to do them sometimes. We subscribe to the he must pay for meals, he must open car doors so what is wrong with some of the things this article is suggesting that men value in a woman.

Why is it so much "crap" to stroke a man's ego...make him feel appreciated? What is wrong with after he cooks a meal offering to do the dishes? After he pays for the dinner leaving the tip? Come on now...this is the 21st Century! Plus we have more insight now more than ever as to how guys work...why expect them to cater to our needs and bend when we say bend but we cannot reciprocate sometimes.

I hope the list is not a complete description as to what the author is looking for in a woman...to me he listed a few small things...and trust me as someone dealing with a recent breakup...it is the small things that are important to a person in a relationship that count.

Regarding the bold, I didn't know many women actually believed the mess they read in Cosmo. BUT I do expect a man to be a gentleman. He should open the door for ALL women, not just the one he's dating. I would be worried if a man only opened the door for me but didn't for his mother or sisters. He SHOULD pay for the meal. There is nothing crap about that. If he's worried about his economic situation, then he needs to be more selective of the women he dates. Simple math shows that wining and dining 1 is less expensive than 10.

What does the 21st century have to do with anything? I still expect my man to provide, protect and pursue.

 

[kismettt]

i dont see anything wrong with this list. erplexed but i could predict the answers before they even came...
the cleaning part? offering once in a while after he cooks. that makes sense (although i would never clean the dishes after my SO cooks at his place because his crap is everywhere).
& cooking? thats fine, every once in a while too.
i mean as long as he has the complimentary features to this list, im not sure i see the problem?

and i don't get the deal with lists. 10 umbrella statements does not a good (or bad) woman (or man) make. but eh, its for entertainment/discussion

eta: & i offered to tip once on a date w/ SO & he was like "no"

i didn't offer again. but i wouldn't mind though. it's nbd to me to toss a five spot on the table *shrug* (thats just how i am, i understand thats a major offense to many)

 

[tocktick]

What does the 21st century have to do with anything? I still expect my man to provide, protect and pursue.

That's the golden question. I'm all for progression and think some things are best left in bygone eras. However, both men and women do a lot of things in the name of being "modern"/"the 21st century" and it's causing a lot of mess, confusion and drama.

 

[MD_Lady]

I agree with the bolded.

Why should women feel embarrassed, ashamed, or guilty about wanting more from a man? That's how it should be. A "real" man would want it that way.

Women that keep giving more and more of themselves to a man, will get less and less from him.

Be careful how you start off a relationship with men--all that catering to them. You might regret it.

I felt like a second was in order.

 

[dlewis]

1) OFFERING TO LEAVE THE TIP
I know some of my younger and more frugal male peers may say otherwise, but nine times out of ten, I expect to pay my date’s way when we go out. It’s just how I was raised. Even still, the key word here is expect. There’s nothing wrong with a woman that at least offers to leave the tip, or does a trade off and offers to pay for the movie while I pay for dinner. Even if pride won’t allow me to accept (sometimes), just that simple gesture is enough to show me that this woman is a considerate individual and conscious of a brother’s economics and not just looking for a free meal so she can save up for a new pair of shoes. NOTE: She has to make this offer on multiple occasions, not just the first date, for the gesture to officially register in my book. Otherwise, I’ll just assume you read this and figured you could front on the first date.

2) WASHING DISHES
No, I’m not talking about the caveman mentality of me-man-and-women-must-do-housework kinda dishwashing. I’m speaking of scenarios where I just made dinner (or breakfast, if I’m lucky) and a woman takes it upon herself to get up and wash the dishes of her own free accord. Again, even a simple offer to do so can earn her brownie points, too. I know that I often do the same thing when I’m at a lady friend’s house for dinner. In fact, there was a time I did that for a chick I was really feeling and we didn’t even eat. I just happened to notice she had dishes in the sink and washed them just because.

3) SENSE OF HUMOR:
If she has a good sense of humor and loves to laugh most of the time, this is a big plus. Her willingness to have fun and play around, pillow fights, air hockey battles, bowling, play wrestling, dancing, and singing are among some simple examples. Life is not that serious all the time so we must learn to drop our corporate grown-up act occasionally. We are all still children.

4) FAITHFUL... TO GOD
Nothing makes a man feel better than a woman, especially one with a spirit surrounded by Faith. Nowadays, we tend to underestimate the value of a spiritual relationship with God. I often find that the simple presence of faith in a relationship creates a platform for handling difficulties that may arise, but the practice of prayer and worship is an anecdote that allows a relationship to blossom beyond the typical norms.

5) THOUGHTFULNESS/REALLY LISTENING
This one is a no-brainer. I always hear of girls (and guys) trying to go all out with a gift or over the top outing, but much like the other things in this post, there are plenty of small gestures that go a long way. A woman that actually listens to her partner (guys, this goes for you too) means a lot. But I’m not just talking about listening to what someone says and commenting, but taking note of key things in the conversation and making them a reality. For instance, there was a time I was conversing with this sister I was seeing about wanting to build my wine connoisseurship so she went out and bought me a wine tasting book. Not only was that a thoughtful and inexpensive gift (in a good way), it showed that she really listened to things I cared about and was proactive.


6) COOKS/CATERS
There’s just something about a woman that can cook. Not saying she has to be Martha Stewart of the kitchen, but to the old adage of the way to a man’s heart being through his stomach often rings true (well, for the most part). While not a 100% tried and true rule, for the most part, a woman that can cook can keep her man happy at home. But the real bonus of this sign is the woman that is willing to cook for you when you’re sick. One time I was bedridden for a week, and while my mom and friends dropped off food and made store runs for me, this one sister came through and cooked a full meal for me from scratch. Definitely a good look that was greatly appreciated, and showed the heart of a person that would be there for you no matter what.

7) SHARES HER FOOD
If you haven’t noticed by now, unselfishness is a common theme here. So any woman that exhibits signs of being giving, from her time to her grub, has the potential of being a good woman in my book. In regards to food, I’ve seen that happen in the reverse where one person refused to share a small portion of their meal with their date, and in my mind that registered as, “she/he is really selfish and doesn’t truly care as deeply about the other person as they should.” I think there was a scene in The Brothers where one of the female characters judged how much a man was into them by seeing if he was willing to part with the last bite of his meal. Sharing is caring.


8) THE CAR DOOR TEST
This is the classic test from Bronx Tale. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll remember when Sonny schooled Calogero, aka C, on how to gauge a good girl after you open up the car door for her and let her in: “If you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window and she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her. Cause that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.” This one is a rare to enforce nowadays with automatic locks, but if it’s applicable, a chick that does leans over to do that shows her unselfishness and what she’s willing to do for her man.

9) SUPPORTIVE
When times are hard even the strongest man needs someone to lean on. So a woman that can step up when you least expect it is a definite plus, because you need that female (well, people in general) in your life that are willing to help out without you even asking. One of boys threw a house party one time and had mad people over. As the night was winding down, I noticed there were a handful of sisters that stepped up and started cleaning the kitchen and putting food away for him. He wasn’t dating any of them, they were just people that came to the party like me, but recognized that my homeboy would be up all night cleaning the mess up by himself and just did what needed to be done. Each one of those sisters showed the level of their character and displayed distinct signs of being good women.

10) COMPLEMENTS
The most important sign of a good woman is complements. No, not compliments with an “i” as in you look good or have the biggest Johnson in town, but complements with an “e.” Someone that just makes you a better man. She complements your flaws and completes you. I’m talking about that X factor where the chemistry is just there and when she’s around you feel that you can do anything. She’s your lover, your confidante, and ultimately your friend.
Fellas, I hope you know that this list goes both ways, and ladies, I hope y’all were listening and taking notes.


I like the list. (except for No 1)

 

[Bunny77]

Went back and read... I have no problem with the parts on sense of humor, being faithful to God, listening, etc.

But I think what's more interesting is reading the examples these men are using as "good women" and all it shows are situations where women are doing too much and the men aren't giving back a thing.

Under No. 9 (Supportive), he says this...
As the night was winding down, I noticed there were a handful of sisters that stepped up and started cleaning the kitchen and putting food away for him. He wasn’t dating any of them, they were just people that came to the party like me, but recognized that my homeboy would be up all night cleaning the mess up by himself and just did what needed to be done. Each one of those sisters showed the level of their character and displayed distinct signs of being good women.

Bunny sez, HELL TO THE NAW!!! Homeboy and nem threw the party, they can clean up. That's what happens when you throw a party, duh, you gotta clean **** up! I've thrown parties before and some of my girls might have helped me clean, but nary a dude volunteered to lift a finger to help me (and I didn't expect them to), so I'll be damned if I stay and clean up after going to some dude's party and he's not my man.

Let me see... did he or his homeboy then ask any of these women out later or begin a serious relationship with them since they showed signs of being good women?


Also ladies, read the comments... I think they're quite insightful, and I'm actually disappointed that these women are rethinking their ways because of one silly article!

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

How about something simple like:

- Supports you
- Makes you want to be a better person
- Makes you want to learn new things
- Allows you to feel unconditional love for her, whether she is in or out of your life?

 

[Bunny77]

1) OFFERING TO LEAVE THE TIP
I know some of my younger and more frugal male peers may say otherwise, but nine times out of ten, I expect to pay my date’s way when we go out. It’s just how I was raised. Even still, the key word here is expect. There’s nothing wrong with a woman that at least offers to leave the tip, or does a trade off and offers to pay for the movie while I pay for dinner. Even if pride won’t allow me to accept (sometimes), just that simple gesture is enough to show me that this woman is a considerate individual and conscious of a brother’s economics and not just looking for a free meal so she can save up for a new pair of shoes. NOTE: She has to make this offer on multiple occasions, not just the first date, for the gesture to officially register in my book. Otherwise, I’ll just assume you read this and figured you could front on the first date.

2) WASHING DISHES
No, I’m not talking about the caveman mentality of me-man-and-women-must-do-housework kinda dishwashing. I’m speaking of scenarios where I just made dinner (or breakfast, if I’m lucky) and a woman takes it upon herself to get up and wash the dishes of her own free accord. Again, even a simple offer to do so can earn her brownie points, too. I know that I often do the same thing when I’m at a lady friend’s house for dinner. In fact, there was a time I did that for a chick I was really feeling and we didn’t even eat. I just happened to notice she had dishes in the sink and washed them just because.

3) SENSE OF HUMOR:
If she has a good sense of humor and loves to laugh most of the time, this is a big plus. Her willingness to have fun and play around, pillow fights, air hockey battles, bowling, play wrestling, dancing, and singing are among some simple examples. Life is not that serious all the time so we must learn to drop our corporate grown-up act occasionally. We are all still children.

4) FAITHFUL... TO GOD
Nothing makes a man feel better than a woman, especially one with a spirit surrounded by Faith. Nowadays, we tend to underestimate the value of a spiritual relationship with God. I often find that the simple presence of faith in a relationship creates a platform for handling difficulties that may arise, but the practice of prayer and worship is an anecdote that allows a relationship to blossom beyond the typical norms.

5) THOUGHTFULNESS/REALLY LISTENING
This one is a no-brainer. I always hear of girls (and guys) trying to go all out with a gift or over the top outing, but much like the other things in this post, there are plenty of small gestures that go a long way. A woman that actually listens to her partner (guys, this goes for you too) means a lot. But I’m not just talking about listening to what someone says and commenting, but taking note of key things in the conversation and making them a reality. For instance, there was a time I was conversing with this sister I was seeing about wanting to build my wine connoisseurship so she went out and bought me a wine tasting book. Not only was that a thoughtful and inexpensive gift (in a good way), it showed that she really listened to things I cared about and was proactive.


6) COOKS/CATERS
There’s just something about a woman that can cook. Not saying she has to be Martha Stewart of the kitchen, but to the old adage of the way to a man’s heart being through his stomach often rings true (well, for the most part). While not a 100% tried and true rule, for the most part, a woman that can cook can keep her man happy at home. But the real bonus of this sign is the woman that is willing to cook for you when you’re sick. One time I was bedridden for a week, and while my mom and friends dropped off food and made store runs for me, this one sister came through and cooked a full meal for me from scratch. Definitely a good look that was greatly appreciated, and showed the heart of a person that would be there for you no matter what.

7) SHARES HER FOOD
If you haven’t noticed by now, unselfishness is a common theme here. So any woman that exhibits signs of being giving, from her time to her grub, has the potential of being a good woman in my book. In regards to food, I’ve seen that happen in the reverse where one person refused to share a small portion of their meal with their date, and in my mind that registered as, “she/he is really selfish and doesn’t truly care as deeply about the other person as they should.” I think there was a scene in The Brothers where one of the female characters judged how much a man was into them by seeing if he was willing to part with the last bite of his meal. Sharing is caring.


8) THE CAR DOOR TEST
This is the classic test from Bronx Tale. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll remember when Sonny schooled Calogero, aka C, on how to gauge a good girl after you open up the car door for her and let her in: “If you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window and she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her. Cause that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.” This one is a rare to enforce nowadays with automatic locks, but if it’s applicable, a chick that does leans over to do that shows her unselfishness and what she’s willing to do for her man.

9) SUPPORTIVE
When times are hard even the strongest man needs someone to lean on. So a woman that can step up when you least expect it is a definite plus, because you need that female (well, people in general) in your life that are willing to help out without you even asking. One of boys threw a house party one time and had mad people over. As the night was winding down, I noticed there were a handful of sisters that stepped up and started cleaning the kitchen and putting food away for him. He wasn’t dating any of them, they were just people that came to the party like me, but recognized that my homeboy would be up all night cleaning the mess up by himself and just did what needed to be done. Each one of those sisters showed the level of their character and displayed distinct signs of being good women.

10) COMPLEMENTS
The most important sign of a good woman is complements. No, not compliments with an “i” as in you look good or have the biggest Johnson in town, but complements with an “e.” Someone that just makes you a better man. She complements your flaws and completes you. I’m talking about that X factor where the chemistry is just there and when she’s around you feel that you can do anything. She’s your lover, your confidante, and ultimately your friend.
Fellas, I hope you know that this list goes both ways, and ladies, I hope y’all were listening and taking notes.


I like the list. (except for No 1)

2 is okay if dude has cooked for me. I've done that before.
10 is also fine.
8 is cute, but since there are automatic locks these days, I won't do the reach-over.

He needs to go somewhere with No. 1

 

[dlewis]

I believe you have to take it on a man by man basis. I've always dated pleasers and givers so it's not a problem for me to give (I'm a giver anyway) and do those things. Except for No. 1.

I tip now and pay for diner but I hold the money.

 

[dlewis]

2 is okay if dude has cooked for me. I've done that before.
10 is also fine.
8 is cute, but since there are automatic locks these days, I won't do the reach-over.

He needs to go somewhere with No. 1

We still have 2 vehicles that you have to manually open the lock.

 

[Bunny77]

I believe you have to take it on a man by man basis. I've always dated pleasers and givers so it's not a problem for me to give (I'm a giver anyway) and do those things. Except for No. 1.

I tip now and pay for diner but I hold the money.

And see, you do that for your HUSBAND!

Heck, I'll do that for my husband too!

Boyfriend or less? Hecks naw!

 

[bimbabe]

I see where you guys are coming from...but I think it is a tad selfish.

If you and Mr. X are making the same amout of money. Heck you are making more than him. You expect him to take you out maybe once or twice a week. You do not want to contribute financially whatsoever. You guys do not think that may be a bit unsettling to a guy? We asked for equal pay, we ask to be treat differently... you EXPECT these expensive dates and outings...he must pull his pocket while you just sit on your cash and invest...blow it all on clothes and beautifying.

I see nothing wrong with if he pays for a $200 meal you offering to leave $30 or so. If you are not gonna pay the tip are you at least treating him to dinner sometimes? (And birthdays do not count).

 

[Ramya]

I believe you have to take it on a man by man basis. I've always dated pleasers and givers so it's not a problem for me to give (I'm a giver anyway) and do those things. Except for No. 1.

I tip now and pay for diner but I hold the money.

Number 1 is not happening . But I do agree that if a man is doing what he's supposed to do and beyond, I have no problem doing little extra things to reciprocate.

And no I'm not reaching over a seat when he has automatic locks. I might hit the button for him