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Non Black Girls Being Miseducated About Black Hair. Should I Intervene?

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brianna-alyssa

New Member
I'm a 15 year old junior at my school. Yesterday in class this asian girl i know asked me why i cut my hair. I told her due to thin ends. My hair was collarbone length but i chopped it up to a bit below chin length to rid myself of my ridiculous pre LHCF ends. She then told me that i could deep condition and my ends would get thicker :lachen: I was like right....*silence* So then today & yesterday her & a white girl in my class start asking these other black girls about black hair care. Asking things like why does our hair not move, how long does it take to grow our hair, why is it so greasy, & things of that sort. The black girls were giving them ignorant answers like it's hard for black girls to grow long hair & if she gets some she better treat it right. & they kept talking about going to buy hair from some beauty supply store & how they once bought extensions from Walmart. Some girl even said that alot of people think black people grow black hair but they don't and they must dye it & get semi permanent dyes to get it black. WTF?! Not once was a positive thing about their natural hair said. They were talking about that yucky brown gel & their favorite greases. & how black girls don't like straight hair they like it to be bumped & a whole bunch of other bull. One girl said she gets relaxers every 4 weeks because she has money & she doesn't want to look ghetto and unkempt. At this point i'm like :wallbash::wallbash::wallbash: I REALLY wanna speak out & educate them all on hair but:

1. i don't want to seem like a weird hair freak (which i am :grin:)
2. It's an all senior class & i don't want to seem like a know it all.
3. Now that my hair is chin length it may seem as i have no credibility or no reason to speak of healthy hair care practices since my hair is short. Even though it's shiny, healthy, soft, moisturized, & thick.
4. They would probably want to know where I learned all this information from & sorry but i want to keep LHCF & other hair forums my little secret until I BC in December :lachen:

I understand that these girls just haven't happened to make a great discovery like I have, & are just going based off of what family members, friends, & stylist are telling them but still, they just sound so stupid to me.


after all that being said, question is: SHOULD I LET THEM ALL KNOW THAT THEY ARE TELLING & LEARNING FALSE INFORMATION & THIS IS WHY THE BLACK GIRLS ARE STUCK AT SHOULDER LENGTH & HAVE GREASY THIN HAIR?
 
SHOULD I LET THEM ALL KNOW THAT THEY ARE TELLING & LEARNING FALSE INFORMATION & THIS IS WHY THE BLACK GIRLS ARE STUCK AT SHOULDER LENGTH & HAVE GREASY THIN HAIR?

First of all.. Kudos to you for not smacking all of them upside the head!

I think that maybe you should approach the african american girls only if you know them personally. You can educate them on how to take care of their hair. I wouldn't bother trying to educate the other two girls. That's very discouraging to read. I don't blame you for being frustrated.
 
Girl these other races are young and close minded, no matter what you say, they will always have their opinions......and to be honest, their parents are the reason they are askin these questions......their parents have not taught them that people are different and have different features and assets.......you have to prove them wrong by growing your hair out and showing them.....if it bothers you say something, but they will still think the negatives about blk women's hair.....that's just the nature of the beast.....I remember when I was in high school, a white girl asked me how often do I wash my hair......at that time I didn't really care.....so I told her I wash my hair once every two weeks, and she almost had a heart attack......but as I got older, I actually had white girls tell me I wish I had hair like you so I could do something with it.....so they will eventfully learn and if they don't then forget about them....again you can tell them.....but I wouldn't waste my time on them.....
 
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I'd try to explain. No point at getting mad at people if they're ignorant about something. Especially if the people who are supposed to know about AA hair don't know any better because they weren't taught how to care for it.

If they don't listen, then fine, you tried. Later on when your hair grows in nicely, they'll be asking you again and you can be the bigger person about it.


Just one thing I think I should add. If you're mean about it, they'll keep their bad information and not listen to anyone who tries to tell them different. But if you're civil about it, even if they don't believe you, it leaves the path open for them to be willing to listen to someone who tells them something they don't believe. You have the opportunity here to help them become open minded about new things.
 
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First of all.. Kudos to you for not smacking all of them upside the head!

I think that maybe you should approach the african american girls only if you know them personally. You can educate them on how to take care of their hair. I wouldn't bother trying to educate the other two girls. That's very discouraging to read. I don't blame you for being frustrated.


Haha thanks! Ugh, it IS frustrating. I go through this with my immediate circle of friends, i don't hesitate to give them advice :lachen:. They all give me the side eye but whatever they're the ones with missing edges & crappy ends, not me. I know one of the AA girls so, i'll try to slip something like this in, "Oh, your hair looks so shiny & moisturized today. I bet deep conditioning once a week would make it look even better! & while your at it, slap those ends up into a cute bun girl!" lmao!
 
Omg!!!:wallbash: You can try to inform them but I believe it will go in one ear and out the other.....ignorant asses. Trying to lump all black women in the same category...the nerve of them.:nono:
 
Girl these other races are young and close minded, no matter what you say, they will always have their opinions......and to be honest, their parents are the reason they are askin these questions......their parents have not taught them that people are different and have different features and assets.......you have to prove them wrong by growing your hair out and showing them.....if it bothers you say something, but they will still think the negatives about blk women's hair.....that's just the nature of the beast.....I remember when I was in high school, a white girl asked me how often do I wash my hair......at that time I didn't really care.....so I told her I wash my hair once every two weeks, and she almost had a heart attack......but as I got older, I actually had white girls tell me I wish I had hair like you so I could do something with it.....so they will eventfully learn and if they don't then forget about them....again you can tell them.....but I wouldn't waste my time on them.....


Thanks! I know what you mean! I can't wait to prove them wrong when my hair gets longer. I can really relate to what you said about the parents not teaching them different people have different features & assets. The asian chick is always making these racial jokes about blacks & whites :rolleyes:. I never say anything because i actually find race jokes sort of funny...:blush::lachen: But, even if they were taught wrong they are about to graduate this year, they should be learning & starting to form their own opinions & views on people & life & stray away from just what they were taught. Idk. I will be slipping in some advice for the black girl I know though (:
 
I'd try to explain. No point at getting mad at people if they're ignorant about something. Especially if the people who are supposed to know about AA hair don't know any better because they weren't taught how to care for it.

If they don't listen, then fine, you tried. Later on when your hair grows in nicely, they'll be asking you again and you can be the bigger person about it.


Just one thing I think I should add. If you're mean about it, they'll keep their bad information and not listen to anyone who tries to tell them different. But if you're civil about it, even if they don't believe you, it leaves the path open for them to be willing to listen to someone who tells them something they don't believe. You have the opportunity here to help them become open minded about new things.


Yes, you are DEFINITELY right about trying to tell people something but coming at them with the, "I'm right, you're wrong, now listen up or you'll be sorry!" attitude. They'll never listen lol. I'll probably just tell the AA girl i know a few things & keep my other comments to the other chicks to myself. Hopefully, they'll learn sooner or later or, when they see my future hair (:
 
Omg!!!:wallbash: You can try to inform them but I believe it will go in one ear and out the other.....ignorant asses. Trying to lump all black women in the same category...the nerve of them.:nono:

Ahaha i know right :rolleyes:! They were asking the AA chicks as if all black girls have the same hair care regimens. I just wanted to bust out so bad, "All you have to do is keep your hair & scalp clean, conditioned, & protected! All that extra stuff is unnecessary & harmful. Your lack of care is what's causing you to buy extensions from Walmart fool!"
 
One more thing, when I was 14, I was BULLIED (cornered in a bathroom by 5 girls) into getting a perm that I didn't want cuz I was worried about being "accepted". Once I did it and hated it, I learned a real lesson here....why take on other people's inferiority complexes just to "fit in"? Do I have to tell you WHO bullied me?

My point here is that how often is changing people's minds about something really beneficial to you OR them? Stressing yourself about other people's attitudes over something so irrevelant (at the end of the day) doesn't benefit you.

As you get older, you'll realize how little value most people's opinions truly hold, esp when it comes to yourself and your choices.
Thats so whacked out that happened to you

horrible girl:nono:
 
I wouldn't even waste my time trying to explain to another race. But if a black person was truly interested in healthy hair practices then i would say something. I've been there and done that, not again.:nono: I remember trying to explain to one woman (about the good hair concept) and kept say, "No, but the other lady told me blah, blah, blah.." Go figure!:perplexed
 
First of all.. Kudos to you for not smacking all of them upside the head!

I think that maybe you should approach the african american girls only if you know them personally. You can educate them on how to take care of their hair. I wouldn't bother trying to educate the other two girls. That's very discouraging to read. I don't blame you for being frustrated.

DITTO! Also, point them to this website.:drunk:
 
One more thing, when I was 14, I was BULLIED (cornered in a bathroom by 5 girls) into getting a perm that I didn't want cuz I was worried about being "accepted". Once I did it and hated it, I learned a real lesson here....why take on other people's inferiority complexes just to "fit in"? Do I have to tell you WHO bullied me?

My point here is that how often is changing people's minds about something really beneficial to you OR them? Stressing yourself about other people's attitudes over something so irrevelant (at the end of the day) doesn't benefit you.

As you get older, you'll realize how little value most people's opinions truly hold, esp when it comes to yourself and your choices.

Thanks so much for this! Because as a teenager, (I'm turning 16 on the 24th of this month :look: ) I often question myself about if I'm doing things because I want to do them, or if I'm doing them to not be singled out or be the odd one out. I'm often referred to as weird or different haha. & i'm proud of that but, sometimes I still have my moments of maybe I should wear my hair like this or by these shoes so I won't have to hear any backlash from anyone. I'm trying to learn to get over doing things like that. Besides, once highschool is over, i won't keep in contact with these people anyway!
 
LOL..it was the 80s girl...SaltnPeppa hair was all the rage then. Nobody hurt me or threatened to, they just hassled me for months about it. Knowing what I know now, they wanted me to have short hair (like most of them) and damaged to boot. The styles back then were all "black gel", mouse, hair spray, etc...I only got one full head perm and maybe a touch up or 2. Fortunately my mother wouldn't let me SaltnPeppa my hair and I didn't get relaxed long enough for it to "take" so I went back to normal quickly. None of this painful "transitioning" stuff cuz fortunately my hair had been virign and didn't get "perm trained". It simply reverted.

Alls well that ends well.
oh yeah girl. I forgot about the rest of the story.......that virgin hair that didnt take

thats a huge blessing in the end:yep:
 
As George Harrison (a Beatle) once said "All things must pass"...and so it shall! ;)
 
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I wouldn't even waste my time trying to explain to another race. But if a black person was truly interested in healthy hair practices then i would say something. I've been there and done that, not again.:nono: I remember trying to explain to one woman (about the good hair concept) and kept say, "No, but the other lady told me blah, blah, blah.." Go figure!:perplexed

Ugh, & i would be upset if I put myself out there to help someone & they couldn't just be thankful for the information or you know, not say anything negative.
 
DITTO! Also, point them to this website.:drunk:

Lol i don't know what it is but, i just don't want to tell people about LHCF. Like if i'm on my blackberry & someone asks me what i'm doing & i'm browsing the forum, I'm like,"Nothing, just texting." Then I close out real quick. I think it has something to do with the forum having long hair in the name, & my hair isn't exactly long. So then I get worried about people judging me & what not. I really need stop to worrying about other's judgments:wallbash:
 
I know it's hard for you sometimes and you feel isolated/alone. At least you have the 'net and us. :grin: Compared to you, most of us are oldsters for real. Don't let it bother you too much. You are choosing the path less trod.

You seem like a very sweet girl and I know you wanna help dispel prejudices that are forming w/ the Black girl's help. :ohwell: Do what you can and feel comfortable w/, but don't let it stress you too much. People are gonna think what they wanna...never forget this. :yep:

At the end of the day, you'll have a head of hair that everybody will want. LOL....it's not just "us" that admire "other's" hair...they admire us too when it's looking tight, right, and grew from our scalps! :) ;) :giggle: Look at Iris/Irresistable's hair...how many girls in your school have hair like that, regardless of race?! ;)

As George Harrison (a Beatle) once said "All things must pass"...as so it shall!

Ahhh, thanks to you guys, I'm feeling way better about the situation. It wasn't stressing me per se but, I just didn't want misconceptions to be fueled. So I was probably going to say something tomorrow but, due to the wonderful advice given to me I think if it comes up again tomorrow (it's been a discussion 2 days in a row) I'll just sit back & laugh at them in my head.
 
Some people are just blissfully happy in their ignorance. And it is usually the people that talk the most smack have the least hair
 
Oh & btw I haven't seen ANYONE, not on the web or IRL, that has hair like Irresitable's. It's so beautiful & healthy looking!
 
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