Not sure I like the stares....

[Mz.MoMo5235]

yeah, its a weird thing that both black and white people seem to do...

like when i'm running around in my buns, i dont get a 2nd look. but if i wear my hair out, or god forbid flat ironed! "mo, where'd you get that hair from?" where do you go to get your hair in?" "how much your hair cost?" "why are you wearing a wig?" can i feel your hair?" "is that real?" "show my your scalp then"

and the strangers are even worse!!! people will touch your hair with out asking and with out warning from behind! also, the better and longer your hair gets, the more you're going to get the stink eye for no apparent reason, just for walking in the room.

last time i went out for my b-day i pressed my hair (pic in avi) and i'm at the table with my friends drinking and i could clearly hear the girls at the table over saying "look at the girl in the red top, she think she cute, i can buy that sh*t too" "girl you know its not real" i was in shock cause that was some of the worse i've heard since i started my hair journey, but then i realized, when girls dont know how to take care of their hair and they see something that in their opinion is "too good to be true" they will hate and hate hard!!! and my hair isnt even all that (yet lol) i would hate to see what leobody or domin go through (i love their hair lol)

if only they knew there were 100's and 1,000's of us online in this "secrete" hair society lol

 

[sheba1]

^^^ Um... I'd just like to say that your hair is too all that... and some chips... and a drink

My girl...

 

[curlicarib]

I had a guy give me a weave check just before we got busy. Needless to say, he is no longer in the "rotation ".

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

^^^ Um... I'd just like to say that your hair is too all that... and some chips... and a drink

My girl...

...and a piece of cake. And a breath mint.

 

[curlicarib]

...and a piece of cake. And a breath mint.

And dessert too!!

 

[BoaterGirlKim]

I had a former friend/co-worker weave-check me in the office when my hair was healthier and longer (shoulder length)...walked up behind me at my desk and ran her nasty thin tunnel-shaped nails through my hair, scratching my scalp. My naive self thought she was smoothing my hair for me. She was a hater of the highest order...my hair was just the tip.

 

[Barbara]

Wow! I've NEVER heard of anything like that! What did you do while she was yanking on your hair? Did you tell her it was ok?

She yanked it once, and I guess she thought that it was sewn in very tight because it didn't fall off.

I was in a state of shock! It happened so fast, I didn't see it coming. It didn't take her long to inspect it . . . laughing just like the "wicked witch of the west."

I never thought about pulling off her wig or big glasses, washing off her layers of make up. I'm wondering how she would have felt. People think she's literally sick, and this woman is about 64 years old with a "stick like" body of a seventh grader. No curves whatsoever, and she thinks she looks good.

People ask her if she has AIDS or terminal cancer, erplexed because she's trying to look young, but her body doesn't look good. Now I can tell she was beautiful when she was much younger, and she does look better than me, so I don't understand why she keeps tabs on me. Maybe because I'm a lot younger. She has the same features as Beyonce or Vanessa Williams.

After this incidence, I always watch her from a distance; and if she gets close to me, I make sure I don't let her get behind me. I turn around to watch every move she makes.

Since my hair cut, she reminds me that my hair is making progress. I just say: "It's almost there again: waist length."

Now that I think about it, she's always complimenting me on my clothes, hats, the colors that I wear, and my womanly, shapely body. She tells me how she has never been able to look shapely like a woman, and she tells me that she always wear dark earth tone colors like gray, black, brown, taupe, etc. No pastels, brights, whatsoever.

She's very pretentious as if she's my friend, but I think she has something against me even though I haven't said or done anything to her. She's hating me deep down inside.

 

[spicypeppermint]

Oh my goodness, thank you! I'm loving this hair journey.

Girl, let em think whatever they wish. Someone on the boards has a quote in their siggy that says "If you ain't got no one to hate on then hate on me... acting like my hair ain't luscious when you know that it is" something like that... the quote is by Katt Williams. too too funny!



ITA, I hadn't even thought of that. Thanks for that insight, Soulie.



Girl, I think I'll have a moment of pride when it happens to me, also! And then I'll probably :hardslap: em

ITA beautiful!!!

Thanks for the nice words love but I can't BELIEVE that some of you had people running their fingers thru your locks! Can't say I'm EVER looking forward to that happening! But then again, when that happens you know without a doubt your hair is bangin!

 

[spicypeppermint]

She yanked it once, and I guess she thought that it was sewn in very tight because it didn't fall off.

I was in a state of shock! It happened so fast, I didn't see it coming. It didn't take her long to inspect it . . . laughing just like the "wicked witch of the west."

I never thought about pulling off her wig or big glasses, washing off her layers of make up. I'm wondering how she would have felt. People think she's literally sick, and this woman is about 64 years old with a "stick like" body of a seventh grader. No curves whatsoever, and she thinks she looks good.

People ask her if she has AIDS or terminal cancer, erplexed because she's trying to look young, but her body doesn't look good. Now I can tell she was beautiful when she was much younger, and she does look better than me, so I don't understand why she keeps tabs on me. Maybe because I'm a lot younger. She has the same features as Beyonce or Vanessa Williams.

After this incidence, I always watch her from a distance; and if she gets close to me, I make sure I don't let her get behind me. I turn around to watch every move she makes.

Since my hair cut, she reminds me that my hair is making progress. I just say: "It's almost there again: waist length."

Now that I think about it, she's always complimenting me on my clothes, hats, the colors that I wear, and my womanly, shapely body. She tells me how she has never been able to look shapely like a woman, and she tells me that she always wear dark earth tone colors like gray, black, brown, taupe, etc. No pastels, brights, whatsoever.

She's very pretentious as if she's my friend, but I think she has something against me even though I haven't said or done anything to her. She's hating me deep down inside.

That is extremely sad. People try so hard to hold on too their youth. The media is always pushing how important & lucky the young are. You may have just reminded her of herself when she was your age. Did you ever think about that? It sounds like she's living her life THRU you which is just as disturbing. But you did the humanly thing be pacifying her ;D but the SMART thing by keeping your distance. It may also be your personality & your good looks that draws her too you.

 

[spicypeppermint]

I had a former friend/co-worker weave-check me in the office when my hair was healthier and longer (shoulder length)...walked up behind me at my desk and ran her nasty thin tunnel-shaped nails through my hair, scratching my scalp. My naive self thought she was smoothing my hair for me. She was a hater of the highest order...my hair was just the tip.

That is amazing too me! Even when I find myself slightly jealous of women with long hair it never occurred to me to touch them! People like that are dangerous. No one should invade your personal space like that. You never know if they are the type to back it up with violence. But she was jealous for sure! As weird as my situation was today I got a tiny hit of pleasure from their jealousy! (I know that's bad)

 

[spicypeppermint]

Your hair look good, but I feel you, I get the same stares especially when I pick something up that's not ethnic, they(cashiers) actually look at what I buy and make up some lame excuse as in why they are looking at it when they get caught by me. And my friend, she has hair to her waist and they mean mug her, I'm like Whoa....it's not that serious....but some blk women don't know what we know so when our hair look good or we have a different style, they freak out and wanna know what we do, but don't wanna ask. That's just human nature......but wait until your hair get longer and then go to walmart.....it's like you committed a crime.

I know! I actually thought one of them was going to ask me what products I used. They were definitly looking like they wanted to ask why I wasn't with them looking at the 'black products' instead of in the Nexxus section. But your hair is gorgeous!

 

[spicypeppermint]

Before I BC'd to get rid of all the relaxer hair in high school I used to get the "are you half white?" comment all the time. I got this stupid question because a) I have lighter skin b) my hair grows fast and I retain a lot of length and the final reason which I HATE the most is

c) "I only ask because you talk so proper..." :killlurk:

I've been hearing this all my life so once I really grow my hair out 100% natural and wear it out of braids I KNOW I'm going to have to pray I won't cut somebody if they ask me if I'm mixed with something.

To be honest, asking if it's a wig or a weave would be a welcome change!

I work in real estate & I hear that dang phrase everyday "You talk so properly" or for the ignorant ones "Why do you talk white?" Um. Are you serious!?! People can be so ignorant!!! But it's those same people that would kick you even if you were on their level so be who you are & hold your head up BECAUSE You Are DOING You!

 

[spicypeppermint]

"Stigma" is a bit too harsh, IMHO. Why worry about it so much, YOU know it's your hair...so what if other's don't believe it? Short of letting someone pet you like a dog (ie weave check), what can you do?

That's an excellent point. You can't do anything so deal with it. I guess.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

That is amazing too me! Even when I find myself slightly jealous of women with long hair it never occurred to me to touch them! People like that are dangerous. No one should invade your personal space like that. You never know if they are the type to back it up with violence. But she was jealous for sure! As weird as my situation was today I got a tiny hit of pleasure from their jealousy! (I know that's bad)

Girl, I know. I mean...I can understand wanting to put my hands in someone's hair. There's a man who rides the same train as me in the mornings, and I just want to run up on him and grab his hair. It's only a little past his shoulders, but it's all thick and swangy and shiny and bouncy. It's so beautiful. Seeing his hair is like..the high point of my mornings.
But I would never actually go over there and put my hands in it. It's just so RUDE. Especially when you don't know the person like that, and you haven't asked permission to touch them. Sometimes, I wonder how it feels to be THAT jealous/curious that you would forgo all your manners and home-training and put your hands on someone. Don't make no sense.

 

[Everything Zen]

Well I know I get a lot of stares but to the ladies letting people do "weave checks" on them- ya'll some good ones and that's coming from a person who is exceedingly nice.

 

[spicypeppermint]

yeah, its a weird thing that both black and white people seem to do...

like when i'm running around in my buns, i dont get a 2nd look. but if i wear my hair out, or god forbid flat ironed! "mo, where'd you get that hair from?" where do you go to get your hair in?" "how much your hair cost?" "why are you wearing a wig?" can i feel your hair?" "is that real?" "show my your scalp then"

and the strangers are even worse!!! people will touch your hair with out asking and with out warning from behind! also, the better and longer your hair gets, the more you're going to get the stink eye for no apparent reason, just for walking in the room.

last time i went out for my b-day i pressed my hair (pic in avi) and i'm at the table with my friends drinking and i could clearly hear the girls at the table over saying "look at the girl in the red top, she think she cute, i can buy that sh*t too" "girl you know its not real" i was in shock cause that was some of the worse i've heard since i started my hair journey, but then i realized, when girls dont know how to take care of their hair and they see something that in their opinion is "too good to be true" they will hate and hate hard!!! and my hair isnt even all that (yet lol) i would hate to see what leobody or domin go through (i love their hair lol)

if only they knew there were 100's and 1,000's of us online in this "secrete" hair society lol

WOW Chica! That IS extreme! That was so rude! & I keep hearing that people actually touch your hair! I can't believe it! That is so outrageous. Taking their hands (god knows where they been) & touching your hair & scalp? That is crazy! Those girls didn't have any tact AT all! Feel good they they felt the need to diminish you. All they did was let you & everybody else know how good YOU look!

 

[spicypeppermint]

^^^ Um... I'd just like to say that your hair is too all that... and some chips... and a drink

My girl...

ROFL! That is crazy! What did he do? Say 'Stop, let me feel for tracks'? Wth? Guys do that too huh? Smh!

 

[sharifeh]

You should be happy your hair came out great! It means you're doing something right!! congrats...

 

[Barbara]

That is extremely sad. People try so hard to hold on too their youth. The media is always pushing how important & lucky the young are. You may have just reminded her of herself when she was your age. Did you ever think about that? It sounds like she's living her life THRU you which is just as disturbing. But you did the humanly thing be pacifying her ;D but the SMART thing by keeping your distance. It may also be your personality & your good looks that draws her too you.

I never thought about that, but she tries to play silly games with me. So I think she's just trying to see how I react. I just ignore her, because she's the one with the problem--not me. I'm not going to make a fool out of myself. I refuse to stoop down to her level. I'm going to let her look and act foolish by herself. Thanks!

 

[changedname]

Congrats for having hair so beautiful that people think it's fake!

Don't worry about haters - they'll hate no matter what you do. It's nothing personal, what they are really angry at are their own issues, not you. You'd think they'd be asking you what you use on your hair - it occurs to me to do that to someone I see with long, thick, beautiful hair. It doesn't occur to me to weave check them - that's just rude!

They need to learn to deal with their own issues. Unfortunately, they're not gonna grow long hair on that heavy diet of Haterade!

 

[sheba1]

@ diet of haterade!!! That is definitely not the way to drink your way to healthy luscious hair

 

[spicypeppermint]

@ diet of haterade!!! That is definitely not the way to drink your way to healthy luscious hair

HAHA yea but there is no greater compliment than such blatant haterism! Just keep your distance!

 

[spicypeppermint]

You should be happy your hair came out great! It means you're doing something right!! congrats...

Thank you! I'm SO happy I found this forum! Everyone is so extremely nice here!

 

[spicypeppermint]

Well I know I get a lot of stares but to the ladies letting people do "weave checks" on them- ya'll some good ones and that's coming from a person who is exceedingly nice.

But that's nasty! Do you know the percentage of women who don't wash their hands after they go to the bathroom??? Yuck!

 

[spicypeppermint]

Congrats for having hair so beautiful that people think it's fake!

Don't worry about haters - they'll hate no matter what you do. It's nothing personal, what they are really angry at are their own issues, not you. You'd think they'd be asking you what you use on your hair - it occurs to me to do that to someone I see with long, thick, beautiful hair. It doesn't occur to me to weave check them - that's just rude!

They need to learn to deal with their own issues. Unfortunately, they're not gonna grow long hair on that heavy diet of Haterade!

I LOVE THAT!

Congrats for having hair so beautiful that people think it's fake!

You are soo right....it feels good in a way...all that jealousy but now I'm hearing a LOT of stories about women who have actually been touched by these same strangers!? I wasn't paranoid before but I am now. I'm going to jail if someone puts their hands in my hair :/.

Even my boyfriend KNOWS not to touch my hair unless I tell him its ok.

 

[spicypeppermint]

Congrats for having hair so beautiful that people think it's fake!

Don't worry about haters - they'll hate no matter what you do. It's nothing personal, what they are really angry at are their own issues, not you. You'd think they'd be asking you what you use on your hair - it occurs to me to do that to someone I see with long, thick, beautiful hair. It doesn't occur to me to weave check them - that's just rude!

They need to learn to deal with their own issues. Unfortunately, they're not gonna grow long hair on that heavy diet of Haterade!

I love your signature btw

 

[melodies815]

My hair is not long by any stretch of the imagination, and I have been asked (only once so far) in public (at Wal Mart, nonetheless! What's the deal with Wal Mart??? ) where I bought "that wig." I just had a nice, puffy/curly twist-out.

There is a stigma with black women and hair, but I think it's starting to be combatted with the sight of black women with long and healthy hair. 20 years from now, we may not even have this issue at all with all the information we have access to now to learn how to take care of it ourselves. Wouldn't that be something?!?!

Your hair is lovely, OP! Hopefully, you feel better than you did initially.

(Aside: I cannot imagine someone cutting my hair when it's longer on the bus or train. That's a nightmare. Why would someone do something like that???erplexed)

cj

 

[MangaManiac]

Cutting someone's hair out of jealousy? I can't even imagine what I would do if I found someone trying to do that to me. My hair is usually in braids, but whenever I got them put back in I'd always get stared out in the salon. Before my BC my hair was APL and the stylists would always try to talk me out of getting braids and getting a relaxer instead.

This one time this woman's HUSBAND even came up to me and asked why I was hiding all that pretty hair in braids and gave me a gift certificate to visit his spa. Then he continued to talk to me the ENTIRE time his wife was getting her hair done! That woman kept shooting me daggers and I overheard her make a comment to her stylist about how kids these days are always mixed with something.

Lesson of the day - haters are spawned from jealousy and there's nothing we can do about it. We can only check ourselves and offer support to those that want it!

 

[spicypeppermint]

Cutting someone's hair out of jealousy? I can't even imagine what I would do if I found someone trying to do that to me. My hair is usually in braids, but whenever I got them put back in I'd always get stared out in the salon. Before my BC my hair was APL and the stylists would always try to talk me out of getting braids and getting a relaxer instead.

This one time this woman's HUSBAND even came up to me and asked why I was hiding all that pretty hair in braids and gave me a gift certificate to visit his spa. Then he continued to talk to me the ENTIRE time his wife was getting her hair done! That woman kept shooting me daggers and I overheard her make a comment to her stylist about how kids these days are always mixed with something.

Lesson of the day - haters are spawned from jealousy and there's nothing we can do about it. We can only check ourselves and offer support to those that want it!

That is crazy! No wonder she was jealous! But she needed to take that up with her man not YOU! Did you ever go to the spa?

As far as being mixed....I'm full black....maybe that's what was confusing to them. If your black & got long har your supposed to be mixed right? Smdh.

Go on & do what you do! I'm sure your hair was bangin!

 

[changedname]

I LOVE THAT!

Congrats for having hair so beautiful that people think it's fake!

You are soo right....it feels good in a way...all that jealousy but now I'm hearing a LOT of stories about women who have actually been touched by these same strangers!? I wasn't paranoid before but I am now. I'm going to jail if someone puts their hands in my hair :/.

Even my boyfriend KNOWS not to touch my hair unless I tell him its ok.

Lol If someone put their hands in my hair I would slap their hand clean off! Just do you girl and if anyone comes near your hair go lethal on their behind. I certainly wouldn't put up with it. Their hands could have been anywhere.