Awww come on lets finish the discussion! It was civil!

[msa]

Yeah well I don't, if I woke up to beautiful hair every morning, I wouldn't have to comb it or do a wash and go or twist it or throw it back in a puff and fluff it out. When I wake up my hair is a flat, lopsided mess, I wish I could wake up with beautiful coils and kinks everyday.

When I wake up my hair is flat and lopsided too, but I think it's beautiful.

I guess it's just me then.

 

[rabs77]

If it does shed, it is very VERY little. But I don't manipulate my hair daily either. I 'style' my hair once a week and leave it alone.

Ramya, take it from me, your hair sheds.

 

[Southernbella.]

I wake up to beautiful coils and kinks every single day.

It all depends on how you define beautiful. Most people think that only natural hair like Tracy's or Rachel's is beautiful. But if you have 4ab hair it's only beautiful if you do a twistout/braidout or some other kind of out first.

It's sad really.

 

[msa]

Yeah well I don't, if I woke up to beautiful hair every morning, I wouldn't have to comb it or do a wash and go or twist it or throw it back in a puff and fluff it out. When I wake up my hair is a flat, lopsided mess, I wish I could wake up with beautiful coils and kinks everyday. Do I hate my hair? No I love it and I feel it's beautiful, but I'm not walking out the door without my hair styled some sort of way, point.blank.period. To me that's not self hate that's me taking pride in my appearance.

So you've never just worn your hair out, no head band, no products, nothing at all added?

 

[Ramya]

I wake up to beautiful coils and kinks every single day.

It all depends on how you define beautiful. Most people think that only natural hair like Tracy's or Rachel's is beautiful. But if you have 4ab hair it's only beautiful if you do a twistout/braidout or some other kind of out first.

It's sad really.

Me too. In fact my TWA is at that stage where my curls, coils and frizz stick out in every direction known to man but I still think it's cute. It's all good because I'm finally getting some hangtime but I didn't know it was going to shoot straight out.I let my hair dictate what "style" I'm going to wear. I don't fight against it and it doesn't go crazy on me.

 

[nappystorm]

Nevermind...already clarified.

Your hair is awesome

 

[msa]

Me too. In fact my TWA is at that stage where my curls, coils and frizz stick out in every direction known to man but I still think it's cute. It's all good because I'm finally getting some hangtime but I didn't know it was going to shoot straight out.I let my hair dictate what "style" I'm going to wear. I don't fight against it and it doesn't go crazy on me.

I understand that feeling completely. Right now, my regular shrunken fro looks like a weird mullet helmet. But I love it because even though it's lopsided, it's all mine and it's beautiful. It has character.

 

[likewtr4chklit]

Exactly. I don't get where that keeps coming from. As I said in the other thread people who relax don't automatically hate themselves just like people who are natural don't automatically love themselves.

I never understood straight hair naturals either. I don't get it.

Why can't the sentiment be that some women of color relax because they do not like nappy hair/themselves and others do it for other reasons that don't involve the former? I just don't get it....

It all comes down to folks need to worry about what's inside their own heads rather than what is on someone elses . Relaxers didn't bring down the black community and a whole bunch of sistas wearing fro's and wash N' go's wont fix it.

 

[BKVincy]

I understand that feeling completely. Right now, my regular shrunken fro looks like a weird mullet helmet. But I love it because even though it's lopsided, it's all mine and it's beautiful. It has character.

yes its rainy and moist today and my hair is outso you must know how im looking right now. Im just letting it do what it do

 

[TCatt86]

So you've never just worn your hair out, no head band, no products, nothing at all added?

I have worn a twistout fro on the fourth day and all I did was add water to fluff it out, I wear twists for days at a time but those are styles to me. I manipulated in some sort of way, even if it's just spritzing with water to me that's styling, I fluff it to make my fro even, that's styling. I have never just woken up out of bed and gone without doing something.

 

[nappystorm]

It all comes down to folks need to worry about what's inside their own heads rather than what is on someone elses . Relaxers didn't bring down the black community and a whole bunch of sistas wearing fro's and wash N' go's wont fix it.

Amen!! I've always been part of the "who cares" club when it comes to these debates

 

[msa]

You don't see why finding an alternative to the most simple hairstyle available is difficult? erplexed


I can't even wrap my mind around that post. Not to mention that me wearing my hair loose for more than an hour led to all kind of knotty mayhem.

I guess I don't see why it's difficult. And like I said, I think that's because I've had natural hair my whole life. There are no other alternatives for me. So I find a way to work with my hair, it's just second nature.

I couldn't get my hair in a comfortable bun until recently, so I just didn't wear one. Now I can, so I do. I used to not be able to wear my hair shrunken without getting knots/tangles, but since I've figured it out I wear it shrunken almost every single day.

I just don't think natural hair is as difficult as people make it out to be, especially if people work with their hair instead of against it. But, I know my experience is not going to be the same as everyone else's, which is fine.

 

[TCatt86]

When I wake up my hair is flat and lopsided too, but I think it's beautiful.

I guess it's just me then.

Oh it's beautiful to me. Just as beautiful as me with my bonnet on. But I'm not walking out the house like that though. I just can't.

 

[msa]

I have worn a twistout fro on the fourth day and all I did was add water to fluff it out, I wear twists for days at a time but those are styles to me. I manipulated in some sort of way, even if it's just spritzing with water to me that's styling, I fluff it to make my fro even, that's styling. I have never just woken up out of bed and gone without doing something.

Hmmmm. I see what you mean. I guess I style almost every day since I rinse my hair in the shower or I fluff it out and skip the rinsing altogether. Then again there are days where I get out of bed and don't even touch my hair.

 

[TCatt86]

Hmmmm. I see what you mean. I guess I style almost every day since I rinse my hair in the shower or I fluff it out and skip the rinsing altogether. Then again there are days where I get out of bed and don't even touch my hair.

See I can't do that, just because I can't keep my hands out of my hair, I am a fro fluffer, I fluff throughout the day.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I guess I don't see why it's difficult. And like I said, I think that's because I've had natural hair my whole life. There are no other alternatives for me. So I find a way to work with my hair, it's just second nature.

I couldn't get my hair in a comfortable bun until recently, so I just didn't wear one. Now I can, so I do. I used to not be able to wear my hair shrunken without getting knots/tangles, but since I've figured it out I wear it shrunken almost every single day.

I just don't think natural hair is as difficult as people make it out to be, especially if people work with their hair instead of against it. But, I know my experience is not going to be the same as everyone else's, which is fine.

I think you've hit a big nail on the head MSA

 

[msa]

See I can't do that, just because I can't keep my hands out of my hair, I am a fro fluffer, I fluff throughout the day.

Fluffing creates knots for me (because if you stretch the coils too quickly they get tied up on themselves) so I try not to do it. It's better for my hair to just rinse it and let it dry and not touch it too much.

 

[msa]

I think you've hit a big nail on the head MSA

That's why I always try to mention it in these types of discussions. I know it makes a difference. When you don't have another alternative, you will make a way. I don't consider relaxers/BKT/heat straightening an alternative so I just work it out with my natural hair.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

That's why I always try to mention it in these types of discussions. I know it makes a difference. When you don't have another alternative, you will make a way. I don't consider relaxers/BKT/heat straightening an alternative so I just work it out with my natural hair.

I admire your attitude msa, i really do.

Let's go have tacos over at Tito's Taco's in Culver City and discuss this further Coily you can come too

 

[Southernbella.]

That's why I always try to mention it in these types of discussions. I know it makes a difference. When you don't have another alternative, you will make a way. I don't consider relaxers/BKT/heat straightening an alternative so I just work it out with my natural hair.

And this is why I had to learn how to braid. Relaxers are not an option for my dd, so I had to learn how to do a bunch of different styles that would hold up at school. At first, I was at a complete loss, but through trial and error, I learned and it's working out.

 

[msa]

I admire your attitude msa, i really do.

Let's go have tacos over at Tito's Taco's in Culver City and discuss this further Coily you can come too

Thanks! Tito's is so yummy! We do need to have an los angeles meet up (in the valley).

And this is why I had to learn how to braid. Relaxers are not an option for my dd, so I had to learn how to do a bunch of different styles that would hold up at school. At first, I was at a complete loss, but through trial and error, I learned and it's working out.

I need to learn how to braid/cornrow/flat twist. I still can't do them right. But yeah, it's a learning process and somehow you just work it out eventually.

 

[claudia05]

No. I'm thinking maybe it sheds in the shower but I never see any when I clean the tub.

That's because it goes down the drain...

 

[Ramya]

That's because it goes down the drain...

Yes, I realize that. I wish my roommate's hair would. But anyway I'm going to do an experiment later and stop the tub to see.

 

[cabellera]

LONG POST WARNING!!!
I think perhaps when people start threads like this, it may not be to start trouble, but to have people stop and ask themselves, why do they habitually straighten on a deeper level. Not just for to quip a "styling choice" answer or to receive a cyber beat down from someone with natural hair. Maybe the better question is to ask, why do you "exclusively" straighten? Who set that texture up and made it reign supreme! LOL!

The hair of standard for centuries now has been straight. The cosmotology industry is built upon it. The most marketed hair is that of straight, smooth with body, bounce and shine. This texture and type is also defined as healthy. There are many peoples on the planet of varying ethnicities that acheive this with little to no effort because the straight and smooth hair texture comes naturally out of their scalps. This is not true for those with afro-textured hair.

Our Mothers wait patiently with bated breath to see what texture their daughters will have. What grade will it be? Good, bad or better or any where close to half, part, some of straight. Ask yourself Why? Nothing short of a celebration is in order if all it takes is a little gel and water to have little Shaquita's hair coifed neatly in plates. If you're not considered among the fortunate, those that meet "the standard, well, Momma's got a pressing comb in hand for you. Today We even have straight phony ponies, yarn and hair extensions to offer our daughters and one day a chemical softner or relaxer will be inducted to do the job of straightening her hair. We can not deny that we have culturalized this hair transitioning process. It is the way we do things. It is not a flippant choice that one makes to go natural. You know it isn't. You get over in that camp and go, wait! I was to have curls, not knowing that many of the advertised afro-textured curls belong to biracials and many of us transitioned over only to find that we'd have a time with those knots and snarls. LOL!

we are told that straight is more manageable. It is a simple styling choice. Simple? Simple doesn't have you running from rain, wind and spazzin when napps peak from the scalp. Now, I will also add that this styling option will not get you any level of hateration, flack for going to school, work, church, play, etc., if you have straighten hair. It is THE NORM for US now. Oh, you thought it was just a choice, nope this is now our culture - transitioning our coils to smooth & straight and it is no longer a choice really. Think about it, when was the last time you got ridiculed about your straight hair, a negative cat call off the street or got anxiety over making such a choice in regards to a mate or getting a job, just because your hair was straighten? In THIS PRESENT SOCIETY the choice is if you choose to wear your hair natural and out for everyone to see it, no hiding under smooth straight wigs, weaves or extensions either. Now that is a choice. Unfortunately, for some ...nothing to take lightly. We are not mentally conditioned to wear our hair natural. LOL! We never demanded different tools, products formalations to make things easier in managing afro-textured hair. No we di-ent!

Those with naturally straight hair RULE the cosmotology industry! The rest of us are to mimic and judge ourselves in accordance to the degree of which we can successfuly pull off that straighten look. You should ALL have long hair, if that is your desire. It should NOT be a life long pursuit! Styling choice my A! I would love to read on this board time and time again about the styling choices like "Oh I thought I'd cut my hair to about 3 inches all around..." and then read responses like "Oh, but your 27 inches was soooo lovely, breakage,excessive shedding and brittle free!" Straight or Natural, I don't care! I will enjoy reading those styling choices fifty-eleven times! Instead, it's "I'm gone put my hair under Quan Lee's Remy straight from June until Christmas!" AAAAAAAAAARGH! Damn it something is wrong! You should all have long damn hair, if you want it! It shouldn't be that hard. Yet it is for some, I'd go as far as state the majority...what's the big mystery..is it heredity, your ethnicity, texture or something in the formulations of the products we use? Hmmmm, any companies out there with MIT DEGREE staff studying afro-textured hair? LOL! I do hope one day that you ALL can have REAL FREEDOM in those styling choices, I want you to swim and boat and not be left ashore or wear a walmart bag with a baseball cap 'cos you just got your hair done and be the laughing stock of the employee outing. I want you to kiss your lovers in the rain and not worry that your hair will go back. I want you to laugh with the crowd when you fell into the pool along with your friends and not have it take you two hours to get back into form. Those knotty haired naturals and those naturally straight haired ones were ready to go and waiting for you downstairs for two hours. We wait 'cos we love ya!

Oh and i'm a natural and I'm not going to romanticize it at all! I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I hadn't seen natural hair since, I don't know when. All I knew how to do was transition my hair and then pickup the Breck Girl's regimen, just add a little oil. LOL!


However, something's wrong. If I see yet another eroded hairline, an extension barely hanging on to weaken roots...When I hear one more cry of PARANOIA due to rain, wind or at the peak of coily texture emerging from scalp, I'll ask again...WHY! Why all this drama! Who set up that smooth, straighten hair as THE STANDARD, THE HAIR OF THE GODDESSES DEVINE! Then that still quiet voice of rational will repeat again..."You all did, after all it is a choice." JMO. Peace!

 

[Evolving78]

Style choice. Just like coloring. I switch back and forth between natural and relaxed. I just relaxed last April and i will bc again at some point. I've done it twice. It's just my nature. Right now i've hennaed to cover a few grays and add thickness to my strands. At some point i'm sure i will happily be all gray. Just depends on how i feel at a particular moment in my life.

i don't think there is anything wrong with relaxing, or anything for that matter. i got a problem with the self hate. i loved my hair when it was relaxed. i just didn't want to deal with the process of it all and i learned that i didn't have to get a relaxer if i didn't want too. and i love having the ability to change my hair color. sometimes i just want something different.

 

[Evolving78]

i went bowling this past weekend and i was the only nappy-headed woman in there. everyone had weave or straight hair. 85% had damaged hair. now what does something like that tell you?

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Let's go have tacos over at Tito's Taco's in Culver City and discuss this further Coily you can come too

mmmmm....Tito's....

I'm not allowed to eat anything that tastes good for another 2 months so I'll have to take a rain check.

 

[Tami2shoes]

3! why would someone relax a child's hair at 3!

unfortunately i know too many women that were relaxed at that age. its unfortunate.

i've been natural most of my life and i have 4b hair that never grew very long. my parents discouraged me from relaxing because they told me that my nappy hair is beautiful. i did it anyways because of peer pressure but that didn't last long. of my 31 years i've been natural for 23.

what i wanna know is how a girl who is relaxed at 3 can ever be taught that she is beautiful just as she is? how will this girl ever feel that her hair is beautiful when her own mother disliked it so much she placed caustic chemicals on her infant scalp?! this is why relaxing among black women is so closely tied to self-hatred. although it happens occasionally, white women aren't dyeing their children's hair blonde at 3, asian women aren't giving their children hair weaves at 3... nope, but black women will do all of the above to themselves and their children for all of their lives because they just can't deal with the inconveniences or appearances of nappy hair.

it ain't all about style.

that's not to say that it isn't sometimes about style. after all its nearly impossible to style finger waves with a 4b fro. for that you MUST have a perm.

 

[Carrie A]

mmmmm....Tito's....

I'm not allowed to eat anything that tastes good for another 2 months so I'll have to take a rain check.

Let's go have tacos over at Tito's Taco's in Culver City and discuss this further Coily you can come too

Thanks! Tito's is so yummy! We do need to have an los angeles meet up (in the valley).



I need to learn how to braid/cornrow/flat twist. I still can't do them right. But yeah, it's a learning process and somehow you just work it out eventually.

What do you think of Campos...I really liked their taco's but the place got bashed in reviews. Dang, I missed out on Tito's.

 

[Summer_Rain]

i went bowling this past weekend and i was the only nappy-headed woman in there. everyone had weave or straight hair. 85% had damaged hair. now what does something like that tell you?

That they don't know how to take care of their hair, and that likely wouldnt change if they were natural!!