Awww come on lets finish the discussion! It was civil!

[msa]

You know what...I just went back to the original thread...and I never brought up self-hatred. In fact, someone else brought it up in like the 3rd post (though she was being sarcastic), and then other people ran with it. Pinkskates (and everyone else), I am definitely not the reason the self-hatred argument started, the term was used 3 or 4 times before I even posted in the thread.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=354353

I made it clear in that thread as well that IMO relaxing does not equal self-hatred.

 

[curlcomplexity]

Oh goodness....please don't let this thread get locked!

It's just HAIR ladies!!! Dead cells people....DEAD CELLS! Wear it how you want to wear it, as long as YOU love it that's all that should really matter, no? Natural or relaxed...it's ALL beautiful (when it's healthy...sorry I had to put that in there lol)! No need for e-drama. Kumbaya...geez!

 

[Prose Princess]

You know what...I just went back to the original thread...and I never brought up self-hatred. In fact, someone else brought it up in like the 3rd post (though she was being sarcastic), and then other people ran with it. Pinkskates (and everyone else), I am definitely not the reason the self-hatred argument started, the term was used 3 or 4 times before I even posted in the thread.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=354353

I made it clear in that thread as well that IMO relaxing does not equal self-hatred.

I'm really not trying to be rude, but I just don't see how you can be surprised that people are taking offense when you say things like:

But, I think there are a number of women who dislike their natural hair and relax to get rid of it. Considering some of the things relaxed heads on this board say, I don't know how it can be denied that for some people relaxing is indicative of self-dislike.

And then in addition to that have the quote: "Is there anyone left who actually loves their natural texture? Or am I the only one? " in your signature.

These two quotes together have the implication that you feel that you, as a natural putting down relaxed heads, are better and more confident in yourself than relaxed heads who put down naturals. Why can't it be that the two are equally as self confident and happy with their choices and just don't like each other? Like blondes and brunettes?

I don't know if my post makes much sense, but surely you can understand where I'm coming from. Just like you as a natural know when relaxed women, white people, or anybody is exhibiting a condescending attitude towards you and your hair styling choice, relaxed heads can pick up on that animosity from naturals as well, whether you realize you're projecting it or not. Again, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to help you understand why some of these rebuttals are being directed at you.

 

[msa]

I'm really not trying to be rude, but I just don't see how you can be surprised that people are taking offense when you say things like:

Originally Posted by msa
But, I think there are a number of women who dislike their natural hair and relax to get rid of it. Considering some of the things relaxed heads on this board say, I don't know how it can be denied that for some people relaxing is indicative of self-dislike.

And then in addition to that have the quote: "Is there anyone left who actually loves their natural texture? Or am I the only one? " in your signature.

These two quotes together have the implication that you feel that you, as a natural putting down relaxed heads, are better and more confident in yourself than relaxed heads who put down naturals. Why can't it be that the two are equally as self confident and happy with their choices and just don't like each other? Like blondes and brunettes?

I don't know if my post makes much sense, but surely you can understand where I'm coming from. Just like you as a natural know when relaxed women, white people, or anybody is exhibiting a condescending attitude towards you and your hair styling choice, relaxed heads can pick up on that animosity from naturals as well, whether you realize you're projecting it or not. Again, I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to help you understand why some of these rebuttals are being directed at you.

You make sense and I understand where you're coming from. Like I said earlier, I make a point to try not be rude because I don't want people to be offended. But, I can't help it if people are offended by my opinions. I'm not surprised that people disagree with me. I am surprised that grown women who are twice my age would be outright rude to me over my personal opinion.

I will say this, you quoted me and it's not like what I said is a lie. Even relaxed heads admit that there are some women who relax because they dislike their hair and/or themselves. I don't see what's wrong with saying that. And, I didn't think how I said it was rude or anything like that.

About the question in my siggy, since it keeps coming up. It is something that I have been contemplating, which is why it's been in there for a while (before this thread). It actually doesn't refer to relaxed people, though everyone else keeps projecting that onto it. And I was not trying to imply that I'm better or more confident than someone else because of my choices. But, I see where you're coming from and how it could imply something different from what I intended.

Rebuttals are always going to come my way because my opinion is unpopular, even with most naturals. But that's not going to change how I feel. I'm ok with people not agreeing with me, since 99% of people don't. As always, I will continue to work on my delivery so that I don't come across as rude or condescending. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

 

[HoneyA]

Wow! I missed the last discussion and am very late entering this one. I've had processed hair and natural hair. I was complimented on both. Both types offered different style options and I played around a lot with them. I didn't think it was that deep to tell the truth and just switched between them because I had a choice and got tired of one look. Depends on what I want to do with my hair at a given point in my life. I could care less what people do with their hair, whether they chop it all off, wear it natural, straight, relaxed, permed, in locs or paint it blue or red. I may comment on it just for the sake of it but in the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter to me. I am sure there are people who would try to analyse why I have permed hair now...knock yourselves out but at the end of the day, it's my hair and I do what I want with it.

 

[fairyhairy]

lol, too deep, just hair peeps more important things to worry me thinks.....

 

[MummysGirl]

43 pages already? There are some threads which need more attention than this that have not gotten half as many responses as they deserve.

It's obvious people have different opinions and this thread is never coming to a conclusion where everyone agrees with each other so I wonder what the real purpose of this and the original were apart from the current results.

 

[pebbles]

LET LIVE YA'LL, THERE IS BETTER THINGS WE COULD BE DOING, PROMOTING A CAUSE FOR BREAST CANCER AND/OR AIDS...SIGNING A WORTHWHILE PETITION...HELPING ORPHANS!!!

I DON'T CAAAARE WHAT ANYONE THINKS OF ME AND MY HAIR...YOU SHOULDN'T TOO!!! DIE THREAD! PLEASE DIE! :gotroasted:

Your wish will come true soon enough. Notice the tone of some of the responses in this thread. Complaints are starting to come in already, and folks wonder why some threads can't stay open? Count down to shut down begins...

 

[antisocial]

You know what...I just went back to the original thread...and I never brought up self-hatred. In fact, someone else brought it up in like the 3rd post (though she was being sarcastic), and then other people ran with it. Pinkskates (and everyone else), I am definitely not the reason the self-hatred argument started, the term was used 3 or 4 times before I even posted in the thread.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=354353

I made it clear in that thread as well that IMO relaxing does not equal self-hatred.

Yeah, actually my comment was the first to mention "self-hatred" and as I stated in the thread, that comment really was sarcasm (hence all the 's) and yes, others ran with it which is when the generalizations started.

What confuses me is why people are acting like that's the first time it ever came up. The "self hate" issue predates either of these two threads.