Do you feel less inclined?

[Eisani]

I was just talking to someone and she offered her input on a good hair product. No problem, I just smiled and said I'll check it out but when I got back to my desk I got to thinking... Is it just me, or do you feel less inclined to accept advice/tips from someone who clearly could use help themselves? I'm not talking just about hair, although she had about a teaspoon that she had managed to squeeze into a ponytail. It would be totally different if it were healthy but ummm I digress... I think about one of my aunts who swears by Mary Kay and has sold it for years but she always looks a mess. What makes you think I'd want to buy anything you're selling when you look like the clown brigade's personal MUA? Just wondering if anyone shares my sentiment...

Mods, if this s/b in the OT forum, feel free to move it.

 

[ladylibra]

i said this in another thread too... if you are 190 lbs. and trying to give me weight loss advice, i'm sorry but i'm tuning you out. HOWEVER, if you are 190 lbs. and trying to give me weight loss advice because you used to be 300 lbs., i am more inclined to listen.

so i don't really listen to the advice of someone with shorter hair or hair less healthy than mine... but if someone who is only SL got there from nape length somewhat quickly and also improved the health of their hair too... well yeah i'm more likely wanting to hear what they did or what they used even if their hair is shorter.

 

[anon123]

Yes, I do, and I wonder why in the past I would take advice from people who were in worse shape in that particular area than me. I mean, I don't give relationship advice, because I'm not trying to destroy people's relationships. What do I know, how can I give advice there? Likewise, if I'm doing better in a particular area than someone else, I'm no longer trying to hear that advice. Since this is a hair forum, I'll say that not too long ago someone whose hair, being nice, wasn't in the best condition was giving me advice on what I needed to do. Really? Uh huh.

 

[loolalooh]

i said this in another thread too... if you are 190 lbs. and trying to give me weight loss advice, i'm sorry but i'm tuning you out. HOWEVER, if you are 190 lbs. and trying to give me weight loss advice because you used to be 300 lbs., i am more inclined to listen.

so i don't really listen to the advice of someone with shorter hair or hair less healthy than mine... but if someone who is only SL got there from nape length somewhat quickly and also improved the health of their hair too... well yeah i'm more likely wanting to hear what they did or what they used even if their hair is shorter.

Very true. I agree!

 

[Dee-Licious]

I'm not talking just about hair, although she had about a teaspoon that she had managed to squeeze into a ponytail.

 

[wheezy807]

No, not really. I had a plenty of different conversations with different people (all hair types). The reason i say this is because i can recall a conversation i had a few months ago with my sisters aunt. We were talking about my sisters haircare. Her aunt was naming all these good products that she bought her like BB oil moisturizer, WGO, ORS and stuff. Her aunt has NL hair and so does my sister. So for the most part i like to see where people go with the conversation, i don't judge them by their hair. I just don't.

 

[RegaLady]

No, not really. I had a plenty of different conversations with different people (all hair types). The reason i say this is because i can recall a conversation i had a few months ago with my sisters aunt. We were talking about my sisters haircare. Her aunt was naming all these good products that she bought her like BB oil moisturizer, WGO, ORS and stuff. Her aunt has NL hair and so does my sister. So for the most part i like to see where people go with the conversation, i don't judge them by their hair. I just don't.

I agree with you! I won't either! I kind of know what you mean. She may appear like she has NO reason to talk, but whose to say where she has been in her journey. She may have thought she came along way. Not only that, IF the products sound good, I may even give it a try. I am always open for advice.

 

[chebaby]

uuummmmmm, yes. i know it may be wrong but i dont listen and i may even get mad depending on how they try to "help". like this one lady who Never gets her hair done, always wear messed up i just got out of bed pony tails and has nl unhealthy hair told me "you need to stop washing your hair so much, look at all these split ends, you are not white." mind you my ends were not split, my hair is much healthier and longer than hers. it was the way she said it.
but i wont lie even if she said it nicely i wouldnt have listend because her hair is never done. it doesnt even look like she washes it too often

 

[naturalgurl]

Well, my reluctance on product advice is that I know cones make my hair fall out. So when people tell me about this product or that, I just say, oh really and thank them for the advice. What kills me is that they'll comment on how thick and pretty my hair is but feel the need to offer advice...hmmmmm......

 

[Eisani]

uuummmmmm, yes. i know it may be wrong but i dont listen and i may even get mad depending on how they try to "help". like this one lady who Never gets her hair done, always wear messed up i just got out of bed pony tails and has nl unhealthy hair told me "you need to stop washing your hair so much, look at all these split ends, you are not white." mind you my ends were not split, my hair is much healthier and longer than hers. it was the way she said it.
but i wont lie even if she said it nicely i wouldnt have listend because her hair is never done. it doesnt even look like she washes it too often

That's what she told me too! She was like you wash EVERY day? When I said anywhere from 3-7 x's/wk depending on my mood she said "that's too much" but she'll wear a busted non-blended weave until it's about to fall out. Now that's too much! I'm not judging her, but I feel like she judges me. I tell her bits and pieces of what I do, hoping she'll catch the wave and want to do something for herself but she just says I'm crazy. She walked by and squeezed my bun one day and was like "dis you?" or she'll make comments about me having "that good hair" or actin like she's going to cut it. This is where I draw the line. I told her one day if she put her hands in my hair again they'd be callin the ambulance for one us *pointed at her* and the police for the other *pointed at myself*.

 

[DreadlockedLady0171]

I pay attention to what they are saying and do the opposite.

 

[ladylibra]

I told her one day if she put her hands in my hair again they'd be callin the ambulance for one us *pointed at her* and the police for the other *pointed at myself*.

*tee hee* i like you, this is something i would say/do!

 

[nakialovesshoes]

I was just talking to someone and she offered her input on a good hair product. No problem, I just smiled and said I'll check it out but when I got back to my desk I got to thinking... Is it just me, or do you feel less inclined to accept advice/tips from someone who clearly could use help themselves? I'm not talking just about hair, although she had about a teaspoon that she had managed to squeeze into a ponytail. It would be totally different if it were healthy but ummm I digress... I think about one of my aunts who swears by Mary Kay and has sold it for years but she always looks a mess. What makes you think I'd want to buy anything you're selling when you look like the clown brigade's personal MUA? Just wondering if anyone shares my sentiment...

Mods, if this s/b in the OT forum, feel free to move it.

OMG - we're so eye to eye on this. Nothing against the ladies on here that sell Mary Kay & don't look a hot mess but...I've always felt this way about the reps that have tried to recruit me.

On the hair tip, @ work I have some older ladies who know that I'm in to hair & they try & give me advice on what I should do to my hair & all I can do is wonder do they actually believe what they're telling me. Of course their hair is no reflection of their advice.

 

[Cien]

although she had about a teaspoon that she had managed to squeeze into a ponytail.

What makes you think I'd want to buy anything you're selling when you look like the clown brigade's personal MUA?

you are a mess!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!

----------------


my answer:

YES

I heard this comment just last week...from a woman whose hair was extremely dry...and full of split ends!

you need to stop washing your hair so much..... you are not white.

erplexed

echoing others with the same view.....

I'm really hesistant even having hair conversations...or even weightloss/fitness conversation with others anymore.

It's hard to take advice or even hear someone tell me "everything in moderation"...or " you need to walk 30 minutes a day....drink lots of water".., yet looking at them, it's evident that they obviously aren't taking their own advice.

Same goes with someone with thin, see-through tresses offering up advice on what to do to my hair.

 

[nakialovesshoes]

That's what she told me too! She was like you wash EVERY day? When I said anywhere from 3-7 x's/wk depending on my mood she said "that's too much" but she'll wear a busted non-blended weave until it's about to fall out. Now that's too much! I'm not judging her, but I feel like she judges me. I tell her bits and pieces of what I do, hoping she'll catch the wave and want to do something for herself but she just says I'm crazy. She walked by and squeezed my bun one day and was like "dis you?" or she'll make comments about me having "that good hair" or actin like she's going to cut it. This is where I draw the line. I told her one day if she put her hands in my hair again they'd be callin the ambulance for one us *pointed at her* and the police for the other *pointed at myself*.

I think these people at work know better than to put their hands in my hair.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

without a doubt if you look jacked up I'm not listening. If you can't help yourself I'm pretty sure you can't help me

 

[MizAvalon]

Yes. I don't take advice from people like that. Why would I?

Funny how they're always the ones giving it though!

 

[MizAvalon]

without a doubt if you look jacked up I'm not listening. If you can't help yourself I'm pretty sure you can't help me

OK!! I would love to be a fly on the wall when somone actually asks these advice givers with their busted tresses, "Oh is that what you do to YOUR hair?"erplexed

 

[Blessed_Angel]

i said this in another thread too... if you are 190 lbs. and trying to give me weight loss advice, i'm sorry but i'm tuning you out. HOWEVER, if you are 190 lbs. and trying to give me weight loss advice because you used to be 300 lbs., i am more inclined to listen.

so i don't really listen to the advice of someone with shorter hair or hair less healthy than mine... but if someone who is only SL got there from nape length somewhat quickly and also improved the health of their hair too... well yeah i'm more likely wanting to hear what they did or what they used even if their hair is shorter.

ITA...and I think that's good cause some people don't want advice from someone unless they have BSL hair...some just don't consider the progress made.

I do try to consider the advice given though; and not necessarily who it's coming from. Some people don't take their own advice; but they may still have good advice. Even if they really aren't in the position to give it.

 

[nodisrespect]

I don't take anyone's advice on anything that I can look up and research for myself. If I am not sure they are wrong, I just go "oh really? Well I don't know, I would have to look it up."

 

[Eisani]

I'm in the same boat as LadyLibra and Nodisrespect. I always have to look things up and see it for myself and I really do consider where the person giving advice is coming from. I've been at my job 7 yrs and this chick has been EL for 7 yrs...nuff said.

 

[HoneyDew]

No, I agree with you.

I had someone tell me that the relaxer she uses is sooo good. But her hair was not in good shape at all. Again, like you said, not so much the length, it was not healthy at all.

I was thinking, How does she gauge that it is so good when her hair is obviously have problems. And I know that most relaxers are as good or bad as the application and process, but I still did not want to try that relaxer after she started pushing it.

 

[plastic]

I dunno , i think its sort of shallow in a way but also smart ? Like someone with eck hair may come trying to give you advice on hair products ... what if that person was an LHCF member and more knowledgeable than you on alot of products and she is just starting to get her hair to a specific point (we would never know). I guess i am just bias because after some months post I constantly wear my hair in cornrows, most people think its fake and other's think its short because of course its braided and i tuck up the ends. Noone would think I have APL hair ... for someone whose hair is always back and she hates combing it .. why should i take advice from her ?

It is up to the person listening to the advice to take it... if it sounds smart then maybe you should consider looking it up yourself. Now if she is suggesting washing your hair twice a year,using DAX grease on your ends and trimming your hair every week.. it would be freaking appropriate to laugh in her face no matter if she is WL (what works for some does not work for others)

 

[Eisani]

While I openly admit to being a *wee* bit shallow (what?) in this case I don't even think that's the issue. I take anything that's said w/a grain of salt and research for myself, it's just that sometimes I feel like some people are negative advertisements (I could be for someone as well, not placing it all on the "other" person). Why would I want to try something you recommend when your hair has been the same length (and not even healthy) for 7 years? Or want some makeup you're selling when you still wearing black lipliner with beat-up kitty red lipstick? I don't think that's shallow, that's real talk right dere...

 

[Eisani]

I dunno , i think its sort of shallow in a way but also smart ? Like someone with eck hair may come trying to give you advice on hair products ... what if that person was an LHCF member and more knowledgeable than you on alot of products and she is just starting to get her hair to a specific point (we would never know). I guess i am just bias because after some months post I constantly wear my hair in cornrows, most people think its fake and other's think its short because of course its braided and i tuck up the ends. Noone would think I have APL hair ... for someone whose hair is always back and she hates combing it .. why should i take advice from her ?

It is up to the person listening to the advice to take it... if it sounds smart then maybe you should consider looking it up yourself. Now if she is suggesting washing your hair twice a year,using DAX grease on your ends and trimming your hair every week.. it would be freaking appropriate to laugh in her face no matter if she is WL (what works for some does not work for others)

My grandma used to SWEAR Dax made our hair grow! Throwback, for real...

 

[RubyWoo]

I was just talking to someone and she offered her input on a good hair product. No problem, I just smiled and said I'll check it out but when I got back to my desk I got to thinking... Is it just me, or do you feel less inclined to accept advice/tips from someone who clearly could use help themselves? I'm not talking just about hair, although she had about a teaspoon that she had managed to squeeze into a ponytail. It would be totally different if it were healthy but ummm I digress... I think about one of my aunts who swears by Mary Kay and has sold it for years but she always looks a mess. What makes you think I'd want to buy anything you're selling when you look like the clown brigade's personal MUA? Just wondering if anyone shares my sentiment...

Mods, if this s/b in the OT forum, feel free to move it.

No I woudn't feel less inclined to try the product. I'm almost willing to try anything. The person's hair may not be where I want to be personally but if they share their overall experience and results and the ingredients look good then I'm most likely going to try it.

 

[MonPetite]

My knee jerk reaction would be "No, I wouldn't listen." That said, it depends on the situation. If someone had found a way to take thier damaged NL to healthly CBL hair in say 8 months...I'd pay attention.

I don't care for people coming up to me who are eight sizes larger and telling me "you don't eat right" or "you're too small, you're only that size because you don't eat enough!". As though, having a fitter body than they do means I have a disorder of some kind.

Same with hair. I wash daily and people say, "You're trying to be white," with six inches of thin, fried, breaking hair.

That said, I know many people see me with my TWA and though it's plush, shiney, dark, and healthy -it isn't long and they assume I don't know what I'm doing with my hair.

Little did they know I chopped off 14 inches of healthy relaxed hair to start my natural journey.

Others recognize that if I can look after relaxed, texlaxed, and natural hair that it may be worth chatting about hair for a while.

So...it depends on the situation with me -what the other person is offering. However, yes, I AM irritated by people with clearly unhealthy hair WHATEVER the length, thinking I need their advice when clearly I don't...and they don't either!

 

[ladylibra]

I do try to consider the advice given though; and not necessarily who it's coming from. Some people don't take their own advice; but they may still have good advice. Even if they really aren't in the position to give it.

good point. because sometimes i have good suggestions for people with 4b or Cnapp hair... even though that is not my hair type. it irks me that someone will look at my hair and be like "what would YOU know about my napps?" dang i was just tryna help you out... yet another reason why i don't give out unsolicited advice...

 

[indefinite]

I wouldn't listen. I would politely smile, turn and walk away.

 

[TLC1020]

I do feel less incline to take advice from someone who is not leading by example. You trying to give advice when you should be the one taking advice. I don't listen to them, I don't even smile I just look at them like man pleasssse, whatevvveeerr.