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Serious question: Would you ladies get offended if...

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If I sensed a hint of sarcasm in the "compliment" then yeah I would be offended. You can tell just by their tone whether the comment is genuine or fake.
 
I wouldn't be offended, per se, because I don't think the person is being malicious when they are complimenting me. However, I would feel a twinge of, i guess the word is disappointment, that in their mind, they indirectly feel that for my hair to be nice it has to resemble something that is not me. I mean how often do you hear people say, ur hair is soft and curly like a black person:ohwell:? Never............ but i do understand that the person prally jus thinks my hair looks nice and in their own way they like it......... even though they don't realize what they are implying.
 
I would be slightly flattered say my thanks and say that with the right care all black women can have soft,touchable and healthy hair:yep:
 
Honestly -- if someone has soft hair period I'd comment on it. I wouldn't say it comparatively, but I've told someone that they had super soft, super shiny, or really pretty hair and I meant just what I said. I do think that we're more likely to be offended if our hair is compared to a white person's and found equal or wanting b/c of race relations in our country. Everytime racism is mentioned, it's assumed that it's black vs white or vice versa -- no one readily mentions the ordeals that asians, hispanics, or middle eastern people go through. There is always going to be those that are ignorant and perhaps tactless - but most don't sincerely mean it to be offensive, so what's the point in getting upset. It's like punishing your dog for something hours after it happened -- he'll have no idea why you're upset, he'll just avoid you. If someone offends you and you know it wasn't malicious blowing up at them won't show them the error in their ways -- they'll probably just assume you're touchy and stop talking to you.
 
Soliel185 said:
There is always going to be those that are ignorant and perhaps tactless - but most don't sincerely mean it to be offensive, so what's the point in getting upset. It's like punishing your dog for something hours after it happened -- he'll have no idea why you're upset, he'll just avoid you. If someone offends you and you know it wasn't malicious blowing up at them won't show them the error in their ways -- they'll probably just assume you're touchy and stop talking to you.
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Getting upset doesn't mean you have to blow up at someone. If the person making the comment is of another race, I'll usually ignore the statement in a very blatant way (as in act as if I didn't even hear or see the person when they're right next to me). Fools of other races can get their **** together on their own time (the only exception is if the fool is my date and I think he's an otherwise great person who sincerely does not realize the import of his comments). However, when it's a black person making a statement with an undertone of internalized racism, I will usually challenge the comment in a calm, often humorous way even when I'm going crazy inside. This approach never fails to start a light, friendly conversation in which my goal is to plant the seed of something different - something other than the good hurr/bad hurr mentality - without alienating the sista or brotha.
 
I would take it as a compliment (even if there was sarcasm in their tone) and say thank you. :)
 
I would not be offended. I have a limited number of people whose opinion matters sufficiently that I could be offended. After that, others' opinions really don't matter. I am secure in who and what I am. If they're dealing from ignorance, it is possible but not likely I would take the time to correct them, If they're trying to be malicious, I don't care enough to get excited.
 
No I wouldn't be offended at all. I would take as a compliment and move on.I'm a laid back person trying to enjoy life. It's no reason to make such a huge deal about stuff. No offense to you ladies but situations like this is why I don't have many female friends(mess and drama). No one can never see the good in anything. And then Everyone is out calling others racist racist and then in the same breathe use reverse racisim. I just wish people would iunno....think happy thoughts and get over it and themselves.
 
MariposaSexyGirl said:
No I wouldn't be offended at all. I would take as a compliment and move on.I'm a laid back person trying to enjoy life. It's no reason to make such a huge deal about stuff. No offense to you ladies but situations like this is why I don't have many female friends(mess and drama). No one can never see the good in anything. And then Everyone is out calling others racist racist and then in the same breathe use reverse racisim. I just wish people would iunno....think happy thoughts and get over it and themselves.
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ita! if they don't know...
 
Kurlee said:
I wouldn't be offended, per se, because I don't think the person is being malicious when they are complimenting me. However, I would feel a twinge of, i guess the word is disappointment, that in their mind, they indirectly feel that for my hair to be nice it has to resemble something that is not me. I mean how often do you hear people say, ur hair is soft and curly like a black person:ohwell:? Never............ but i do understand that the person prally jus thinks my hair looks nice and in their own way they like it......... even though they don't realize what they are implying.
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basically what i meant.
 
It wouldn't bother me at all now but when I was a young girl it did. The only thing that bothers me a bit now is when people not just think but insist that I must be racially mixed. They give me one of those looks when I say I'm not......like I'm adopted or something:perplexed.
 
Bubblingbrownshuga said:
someone stated your hair was just as soft, thick, and healthy like women from India? What about if they stated your hair reminded them of an Asians? It's obvious that most get offended when someone states that their hair reminds them of white ladies' hair ( and I assume many get offended b/c of the hx/and present of us having to endure everything white being placed on a pedestal), but I just wonder if we dislike our hair being compared to other races.
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Hey Bubblingbrownshuga! Nope, I wouldn't be offended. When people say that, they mean it as a compliment, and that's how I would take it. Sometimes, people just look too deep into things, it's not that serious.
I couldn't imagine someone touching my hair and saying "EWWW, your hair feels like an asian woman's hair!":lachen: It's more of a "Wow, your hair feels really nice, like an asian woman's hair." Not that that has ever happened to me though LOL (just getting over the crunchies):grin:
 
Slightly.....why would anyone need to "qualify" a comment about my hair with mention of another race?

The implication to me is that Blacks don't have "nice" hair or a generally considered "beautiful" unless mixed with another race.:ohwell:

Why can't I have beautiful hair as a BLACK woman?
 
I probably would read more into being compared to white than I would other races. Too much history.

Quite frankly, I had thought of starting a thread asking why is it that Indian women seem to have such long hair.
 
I just let it roll right off of my back. It's not that serious. When I was natural, people would ask me if I was Dominican or had "Indian" in my family. I'd just tell them that no, I wasn't Dominican but I do have "Indian" in my family. When I straighten my now texlaxed hair, people tell me that I look "Indian". I just smile at them. I think my reddish-brown complexion has a lot to do with it. :yep:
 
Veejee said:
I think Indians and Asians have beautiful hair, BUT why do black women have to be compared to other races?
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I always wonder when I see this sentiment.

The overwhelming majority of black women (and by black I mean the type of black where you look at her and think it's possible that ya'll could be relatives) do not have naturally straight hair.

So why wouldn't you compare straight hair on someone who traditionally does not have straight hair to someone who does? It's not like you can compare straight hair to nappy hair? It's apples and oranges. But one head of straight hair to another head of straight hair seems logical.

I understand wanting black women to be recognized for their unique beauty, but if it takes major modifications (in this case perm or weave) to achieve something, we can't really own it as a uniqe trait.
 
I was always under the impression that head of hair that we see on this board are not as common "in the real world". :look: People just don't see it, so why would I be mad if someone compared my hair to that of a group of people where it is more common. But, like someone said, I would use it as a opportunity to school them about my LHCF girls and how there really are black women with soft healthy hair, but unfortunately many of us have not had the opportunity to really learn how to take care of it.
 
There is a flip side to the coin - it's just that we don't experience it personally. I knew a girl in HS that had HUGE hair with super curly spirals to about APL. And when we graduated and went to college she'd come home and say " All these black guys hit on me, and ask me if I'm mixed!" and it was because of her hair. We used to laugh about it - I thought her hair was gorgeous - it was just funny that anyone would think she was mixed over that. Esp if you'd ever met her two VERY clearly caucasian parents. She was never offended by it, just sort of bemused. I agree that if you wear your hair straight - it'll probably be compared by others to a race whose hair is typcially straight. It really is a compliment in a twisted sense b/c it looks as though your hair belongs that way, or is that way naturally, as opposed to looking as though you tortured and fried it into position and then dumped a whole bunch of crap it in to make it shiny, so now it's a stick straight goopy mess that no one wants to touch.
 
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