FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
It's to a close friend's wedding in a few months and you haven't met them yet. Is this a big (positive) deal to you or nah?
Your New So Asks You To Be His Date To A Wedding
- Thread starter FemmeFatale
- Start date
IslandMummy
Well-Known Member
Nope
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Would you be mad if he went without you?
BGT
Well-Known Member
I think that's a huge deal. He wants you around his loved ones. Are you exclusive?
tocktick
Well-Known Member
I went through this in a previous relationship. We'd been dating for hmm...about 2 months. I personally felt uncomfortable with the idea because I didn't know his friends and it was a 2-day event out of town, so would've meant staying over.
I chose not to go, for the above reasons and a few others. In hindsight, I have mixed thoughts about my decision. On one hand, I'm glad that I didn't because I think the whole situation would've been quite stressful (first trip away together, first serious event as a couple, meeting his extended friends etc). The flip side is that I think going would've exposed some things about him and the dynamics of our relationship that I didn't figure out until months later.
eta: one clear difference I see in your (?) situation vs mine is that the wedding is in a few months. At the time he asked me to go, the wedding was taking place in 3-4 weeks. It it had been a later date, I would've likely said yes.
I chose not to go, for the above reasons and a few others. In hindsight, I have mixed thoughts about my decision. On one hand, I'm glad that I didn't because I think the whole situation would've been quite stressful (first trip away together, first serious event as a couple, meeting his extended friends etc). The flip side is that I think going would've exposed some things about him and the dynamics of our relationship that I didn't figure out until months later.
eta: one clear difference I see in your (?) situation vs mine is that the wedding is in a few months. At the time he asked me to go, the wedding was taking place in 3-4 weeks. It it had been a later date, I would've likely said yes.
Last edited:
IslandMummy
Well-Known Member
Nope; I'd be miffed if he went with someone else.
If he's your SO you're his +1 for most functions just as he is for you.
Last edited:
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Less than 2 months and the wedding is in August.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Yes in theory it should be that way but unfortunately I know of a few cases where it didn't play out like that.
lesedi
All is well with me
It takes me a verrrrrrry long time to introduce a new man to my close friends and family as I am extremely private when it comes to relationships, so the idea of attending a wedding with a new SO and him knowing the comments that will inevitably come "you'll be next" "So you guys are serious" etc makes me feel like it is a step towards a commitment.
lesedi
All is well with me
Ooooh he likes you! The fact that he asked to an event that is still a few months away is a great sign too.
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
In your situation OP I'd take it as a sign he sees being with you awhile since the wedding is 4 months away and you haven't been together long. How do you feel about him, OP?
GeorginaSparks
Well-Known Member
we might not even be together by August 
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
Oh LMAO! Sorry OP.That's my FH
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
I'm confused, why are you sorry?
naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
It depends on the man. Some men will take you to meet their entire family and all of their friends but have a wife sitting at home the whole time.
lisatamika
Well-Known Member
Bunnyhaslonghair
Ebonics Queen
Aww yes I say it's a big deal. Be happy about it but play it cool!
Pay attention what his people say. If they dote on you and ask questions about you that may be a good sign.
If they keep short or standoff-ish, you might be guy's flavor of the month. (I highly doubt though BC you would have seen flags after 2 months).
So be happy, nice, and pretty to the event!
Pay attention what his people say. If they dote on you and ask questions about you that may be a good sign.
If they keep short or standoff-ish, you might be guy's flavor of the month. (I highly doubt though BC you would have seen flags after 2 months).
So be happy, nice, and pretty to the event!
Bunnyhaslonghair
Ebonics Queen
I don't think OP should worry about this but this the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
I think these men are definitely the exception and not the rule though.
Last edited:
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
A friend of a friend was dating a guy who was traveling out of town often "for work" during their 6-7 months of dating.
The dude sent her a text of him in a tuxedo. When she asked what was the event he admitted he was out of town at his own wedding and the travel was not for work but wedding planning with his out of town fiancé.
She dropped it but I probably would have found their registry and sent a cheap gift with a note detailing his shenanigans with a link to photos.
Sosoothing
Well-Known Member
It's no big deal to me so I would say yes. If we are still together months from now and we end up going, good. If we break up before then...good. That's life.
Everything Zen
Well-Known Member
My friend took me to be his date to a wedding. We ended up making out in his hotel room between the wedding and the reception and finally becoming an item after being friends for 4 years. Then we had a long distance relationship and broke up 8 months later and I never heard from him again. He was very intelligent, very sweet and very short and unattractive. Oh well. 
This wouldn't be a big deal for me Bc well men are men. What we think is significant as women usually isn't as significant for them.
This has happened to me several times. I've been invited as plus ones for weddings and guests at events with men I have been dating (not even exclusive with). I haven't followed up because it all felt too soon and I knew I wasn't bringing them around my people anytime soon.
I'm also wary of men who move fast in a particular way or rush things. As quickly as they start for so many it's as quickly as they end. I like my space and pace.
I think on something like this - just do what feels right. You know the dynamics of your relationship and what you are most comfortable with.
This has happened to me several times. I've been invited as plus ones for weddings and guests at events with men I have been dating (not even exclusive with). I haven't followed up because it all felt too soon and I knew I wasn't bringing them around my people anytime soon.
I'm also wary of men who move fast in a particular way or rush things. As quickly as they start for so many it's as quickly as they end. I like my space and pace.
I think on something like this - just do what feels right. You know the dynamics of your relationship and what you are most comfortable with.
Similar threads
