Do you WANT/Did you HAVE a BIG WEDDING??

[Honey6928215]

We had a big wedding, and we loved every minute of it. My mother and planner did most of the planning, which was fine with us. We focused more on premarital counseling (went to an independent counselor as well as a faith based one) as we wanted to make sure we were ready for what marriage entails. We had over 400 guests and everyone danced, ate, and had a great time. We got married in October 2006, and we are still opening and receiving wedding gifts! Only two people acted a fool--my paternal grandmother and one of my paternal aunts--but we were never close, so there is no love lost. And, we didn't have to sacrifice anything because the wedding was a gift from our parents. Six months after the wedding we were able to move into our new home (had to wait for our townhouse to sell).

I like the idea of going through pre-marital counseling. If I become engaged, I rather go through the pre-marital counseling before ANY money is shelled out. I want to make sure that this is something we BOTH want and no money is wasted.

 

[UrbanHeiress]

I like the idea of going through pre-marital counseling. If I become engaged, I rather go through the pre-marital counseling before ANY money is shelled out. I want to make sure that this is something we BOTH want and no money is wasted.

Premarital counseling was the best decision we ever made and one of the reasons we are still married today.

 

[mkh_77]

I like the idea of going through pre-marital counseling. If I become engaged, I rather go through the pre-marital counseling before ANY money is shelled out. I want to make sure that this is something we BOTH want and no money is wasted.

My dad (half-jokingly) told us that if we couldn't make it at least 5 years, he wanted the money he paid for the wedding back . . . with interest. I say "half-jokingly" because my dad doesn't play when it comes to business, family or not.

Couseling was great. We talked about a lot before even getting engaged (family, money, priorities), but it was great to have a third party there to really help you to learn to hear what the other person is saying instead of just thinking you already know. We are really focused on our marriage and making it work because we have a lot of friends divorcing and marrying for a second time and we are only in our early 30s!

 

[prettypuff1]

Well i am of the opinion that i can go down to the court house and a nice dinner after wards. I likes to keep it moving and i know i can;t afford the wedding i want.
I am currently helping a friend plan her wedding, I think it is a night mare. All the running around to different banquet halls, inviting ppl, and it is all too much

 

[curlcomplexity]

I want a HUGE wedding. I want the wedding to be in a BIG regal chruch and the reception to either be in a hotel ballroom or a classy club rented out just for the occsion. My SO wants this too...love him! However, I want a home too, so we'll see. I still have awhile before this time comes. I want to wait until in at least 27 to get married, this way I don't have to comprimise anything that I want. Alot of my friends have gotten married younger, one of them said that the regretted it AT HER WEDDING! I don't want that!

 

[BAP28]

wow over 400 now thats what i call a big wedding..

glad everything worked out and you two took the right steps prior to marriage

good luckkkkkkkkk and god bless

We had a big wedding, and we loved every minute of it. My mother and planner did most of the planning, which was fine with us. We focused more on premarital counseling (went to an independent counselor as well as a faith based one) as we wanted to make sure we were ready for what marriage entails. We had over 400 guests and everyone danced, ate, and had a great time. We got married in October 2006, and we are still opening and receiving wedding gifts! Only two people acted a fool--my paternal grandmother and one of my paternal aunts--but we were never close, so there is no love lost. And, we didn't have to sacrifice anything because the wedding was a gift from our parents. Six months after the wedding we were able to move into our new home (had to wait for our townhouse to sell).

 

[mkh_77]

wow over 400 now thats what i call a big wedding..

glad everything worked out and you two took the right steps prior to marriage

good luckkkkkkkkk and god bless

Thank you!

 

[hennagirl]

I want a HUGE wedding. I want the wedding to be in a BIG regal chruch and the reception to either be in a hotel ballroom or a classy club rented out just for the occsion. My SO wants this too...love him! However, I want a home too, so we'll see. I still have awhile before this time comes. I want to wait until in at least 27 to get married, this way I don't have to comprimise anything that I want. Alot of my friends have gotten married younger, one of them said that the regretted it AT HER WEDDING! I don't want that!

Why? Have you ever been to a big wedding? We had 550 and I thought I would die in the receiving line and quite frankly I didn't KNOW 550 people. A lot of the people invited to my wedding were there to address the social obligations of our parents. That is usually the case with weddings over 250. If you are not from a social family, I would not recommend a huge wedding because it is just not worth it. I wish you happiness whatever you decide. I would definitely not put a home in jeopardy for a wedding.

 

[vickid]

My mother and I have been talking about my "future" wedding

My mom LOVES to plan events and all that hoopla. I LOVE to party but I don't really like the tab associated with throwing a big party.

I told her I'd tell her and my dad the day to come to the courthouse and I'd get married there. It's about the marriage not the wedding. I was thinking money used for an elaborate wedding could be used to upgrade a house.

But she's says that's taking something away from her as my mother

So tell me ladies, did you have/do you want a big wedding and reception? Do you feel it's important? Is it taking something away from the parents by not wanting to let them have the BIG DAY of giving away their daughter?

I wanted a HUGE mega wedding. We purchased a home and decided to put the money in upgrades to make the home more valuable AND to use the extra as a down payment on another piece of rental property. Long story short, the "gifts" we got were paid in dividends from the bank in the form of EQUITY! That meant, the ability to buy MORE RENTAL PROPERTY WHICH MEANT MORE INCOME. It was worth it and I didn't miss the "grief" of wedding planning.

 

[curlcomplexity]

Why? Have you ever been to a big wedding? We had 550 and I thought I would die in the receiving line and quite frankly I didn't KNOW 550 people. A lot of the people invited to my wedding were there to address the social obligations of our parents. That is usually the case with weddings over 250. If you are not from a social family, I would not recommend a huge wedding because it is just not worth it. I wish you happiness whatever you decide. I would definitely not put a home in jeopardy for a wedding.

550??!! Wow, how many gifts did you get, probably everything on your registry and then some LOL!!! I guess my idea of huge is different...I meant 150-200, no more than 250!!! I'm Nigerian and my SO is Haitian, most weddings in both cultures are big. Plus his family is very social, his parents are going to want a big celebration, we're both the oldest kids on our families. What I plan on doing when i turn 25 is set up a "wedding account". This way I can deposit money in it every month, over the period of 3-4 years, this may end up helping w/ the costs a little. Both families are planning on helping, so we'll see what happens. Yes I agree would not want to put getting a home in jeopardy b/c of a wedding. By the time that we do get married (God Willing), both of us will be in our professional careers.

 

[RubyWoo]

I want a small, intimate wedding. Heck, I'd also be happy getting married in Vegas or a courthouse. Nonetheless, I don't want a big wedding. I want my day to spent with my closest family and friends. Now, I'll go all out on the reception but even then, not too big.

 

[Jessica Rabbit]

I want a medium size wedding. I have a huge, social family. I'm trying to start putting a few sheckles aside starting in a few months. I want to go into this debt free and be able to buy a place while still having a nice size celebration and doing something along the lines that I invision.

 

[Zsazsa6275]

My mother and I have been talking about my "future" wedding

My mom LOVES to plan events and all that hoopla. I LOVE to party but I don't really like the tab associated with throwing a big party.

I told her I'd tell her and my dad the day to come to the courthouse and I'd get married there. It's about the marriage not the wedding. I was thinking money used for an elaborate wedding could be used to upgrade a house.

But she's says that's taking something away from her as my mother

So tell me ladies, did you have/do you want a big wedding and reception? Do you feel it's important? Is it taking something away from the parents by not wanting to let them have the BIG DAY of giving away their daughter?

I hear you. That sounds logical to me.

I'm the youngest of 3 girls and I'm the only single one. Both of my sisters did not have weddings. My parents were perfectly fine with that. In fact, my parents didn't have a wedding. Luckily, my parents are cool. After 41 years of marriage, they're like "just do what you want". They are totally not trippin'. Works for me!

If I ever get married, I plan to go to a beach (like Fiji) with my man. I will send the word out to the family and close friends, like "look are y'all rollin' with us or not"? I think the most I will do is maybe have a nice reception after we get married.

 

[Puddles]

[size=+1] Our intial wedding was just me, him, the justice of the peace, and our moms.

For our 10th anni. we had a big wedding and renewed our vows at our church.[/size]

 

[Puddles]

So tell me ladies, did you have/do you want a big wedding and reception? Do you feel it's important? Is it taking something away from the parents by not wanting to let them have the BIG DAY of giving away their daughter?

[size=+1] My dad felt this way so for my anniversary wedding.....he walked me down the aisle.

 

[loved]

No, I Enjoy the Intimacy of the Smaller 1s

After being in weddings w/ big wedding parties, no. I'm sure the brides enjoyed it on that day, but I would not have enjoyed all the drama it took to get there. It felt like a nightmare & never ending details leading up to it & a ton of money for things you would never think of at the beginning.
One of my favorite weddings was a friend & his wife who married on the beach. He knew a ton of people & could have made it a huge affair, but it was their closest friends & families & I knew a lot of the people on his side from our time together in school. It felt intimate & fun & every person in the wedding was some1 close to them, instead of some1 they had been directed to place in the party.

I'd be happy w/ a extremly small destination wedding outdoors anywhere from Maine to the Hawaii. Small like, we're going, watch us via videoconference software. I'm a lawyer so a ceremony at a courthouse would be like going to work, plus I've seen too many bad things happen in courthouses.

 

[MZMATTHEWS]

Been there done that no more big weddings for me.

 

[candiel]

Been there done that no more big weddings for me.

Same here. Big weddings are so overrated to me. If I had to do it all over again, I would do something smaller and more intimate.

 

[tyrablu]

I share the same thoughts as many of you here. The only way I will remotely even think about a big wedding is after we have bought a house and are financially stable, not before.

And even after that requirement I am still leaning toward just eloping or having a destination wedding.

Both my sisters did the whole semi-big wedding thing. I'm indifferent toward that. It will just depend on how I feel at the time.

We'll just have to see

 

[Ms Red]

The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that 100-120 people is more than enough. 3-4 attendants is perfect.

 

[MrsBKJ]

My mother wants a HUGE do as do my sisters since I'm the youngest/last one to be married from all our cousins (this generation). But i just want a simple nikah done me my husband and my best friends and the Imaam, my IMMEDIATE family mother father brothers and sisters and their kids of course and his mother sisters and niece. i want a simple dress but my mum wants an all out meringue with the trimmings...over my dead body!
Ideally i'd have a quiet meal at a top restaurant and that would be it. I really don't believe in getting into debt for one day...that money is paying for tuition the house car insurance etc...my focus is on the marriage not the wedding.

 

[**Glamourlicious**]

I either want destination...or a medium...not too small...not too big wedding.

 

[bluediamond0829]

I just want a nice small wedding..i dont have that big of a family or have that many friends to even start trying to make a large guest list....i have some fam that i wouldnt even consider inviting anyway....

i just want a beautiful dress and a nice intimate ceremony and reception...thats not going to bust our pockets wide open....even if it is in the same room(hotel reception hall) i wouldnt mind...my Uncle did his wedding like that..but he had almost like 200 guest....at the most i probably can see only having at least 20 to 50 guest....

and im not into a big reception...because im more of a laid back type of person...play some nice music have the 1st married couple slow dance....pictures...good food...and thats it...i rather put the rest of the money in a nice honeymoon...

 

[FlowerHair]

My dream wedding is a small wedding, but my immediate family alone are around 20 people so if I add a couple of friends, my side alone will be around 30 people. If the husband in spe has the same amount of family & friends it's not really a small wedding anymore...

Maybe an idea would be to get married in private and then have a big party. No, scratch that! Bring on the big wedding

 

[Caramela]

No it's not important to me.
A wedding is for the two people getting married and God.
My experience has been, the more money spent on the wedding, the less time spent in the marriage It's one day. You have the whole rest of your lives to worry about.
I'd rather take those tens of thousands and invest it in something rather than blow it on a celebration, food, clothes, flowers, and photographers for the entertainment of everybody else.

 

[audacious1]

I will not have a big wedding at all.

I will have an extremely small wedding. Remember CreoleInDC's wedding?... just her and her husband...that's what I'm looking for. It will be in St. Tropez, where we will honey moon. So basically, I'll be killing two birds with one stone.

Besides, the most important people will be there... the bride, the groom, and their God. And that's all who needs to be there.


If this don't work out (i.e. if we get a lot of "aaww I want to see my son/daughter get married" and we can't withstand it"), immediate family only. No more than 20 for each family. My max might be 10. But I will have a bomb cake. I'ma see if I can find Kini and get her to make it

 

[MissScarlett]

What amount is big? I had about 200 people.

IDK if I wanted one or not *shrugs*, at that age, I wasn't capable of making decisions that my mom did not pre-determine. Also my parents are uber snobs, add me, the only child= Big Wedding. Dh tried to talk me into eloping, I promised him I'd be written out of their will

I had a small wedding party though, me and four attendants. We had even more guests at the reception. My mom is such a snob, she made the ceremony exclusive and only sent some folks invites to one or the other or both Granted I got married at their house in the backyard....but still.

The great part about it is my reception was OFF DA CHAIN. It started at 7pm and they had to ask us to leave at 3am

 

[Country gal]

I want a beautiful nice wedding. At least 100-200 people. I also would love to have a destination wedding like my friend did in Jamaica. I would just be so happy to find a love special enough to get married that I would want the world to enjoy my wedding.

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

I am having a small wedding with about 70-80 people.