Young men dating older women for ulterior motives?

[**SaSSy**]

Do you think the older woman cares, or just feels loneliness, low self-esteem, etc and wants a tender roni next to her when she wants that she will give money and gifts to? Obviously we always hear women dating older men for not only interior motives, but as a physical preference for their mates. I know that looks are subjective or irreverent to some, but why (in your opinion) do you think a young man would date an older woman who isn't physically fit or attractive, down plays her in public by saying (she's just my friend, or we're just causally dating) to others if there wasn't an ulterior motive behind it?

 

[barbiesocialite]

Sometimes.

There are a lot of older woman/younger man couples in my family, including my paternal grandparents. I will say, that the women in these couples tend to be covertly controlling damsels and the "wilder" significant other. The men didn't come ready-made and were molded into the perfect man if you catch my drift

 

[**SaSSy**]

Sometimes.

There are a lot of older woman/younger man couples in my family, including my paternal grandparents. I will say, that the women in these couples tend to be covertly controlling damsels and the "wilder" significant other. The men didn't come ready-made and were molded into the perfect man if you catch my drift

I understand. But what if it's a young man who prefers younger more attractive women, but he know he has to bring things to the table such as stability. He's in school and trying to establish himself, so he looks to the older woman who has the stability and money he needs, but isn't full into her. Is this fair?

 

[barbiesocialite]

I understand. But what if it's a young man who prefers younger more attractive women, but he know he has to bring things to the table such as stability. He's in school and trying to establish himself, so he looks to the older woman who has the stability and money he needs, but isn't full into her. Is this fair?

I don't think dating is ever fair, whatever the dynamic. But that's besides the point, I personally know of only one failed OW/YM couple but I know a lot of failed OM/YW couples. IME and observation, younger men are eager to please. I will say that the thing that prompted me to say the women were covertely controlling damsels, is because, with the exception of one aunt who can't have any children, there tend to be a lot of entrapment strategies going on. The women always had/have the upperhand in these situations for the most part (again IME). The women were older, wiser, more experienced with life and in a way the men were impressionable. They (men) were sort of naive in a way, they were captivated, infatuated and impressed by the women exposing them to new people/things/places. Once they found themselves in a situation where there was no way out, they felt obligated to marry the woman and stayed....

 

[Transformer]

Relationships tend to be about trade-offs. The saying is that "opposites attract."

 

[hopeful]

I understand. But what if it's a young man who prefers younger more attractive women, but he know he has to bring things to the table such as stability. He's in school and trying to establish himself, so he looks to the older woman who has the stability and money he needs, but isn't full into her. Is this fair?

No, not fair. But I think most older, stable women know the deal. Older men do it all the time. Unfortunately most women can't handle the truth for long without feeling used. Men like feeling wanted and appreciated, most women want to be loved and adored, so long term realizing he's after the cash is much harder to accept for most women. And most women don't like taking care of men financially whereas men don't seem to mind at all.

 

[RocStar]

I understand. But what if it's a young man who prefers younger more attractive women, but he know he has to bring things to the table such as stability. He's in school and trying to establish himself, so he looks to the older woman who has the stability and money he needs, but isn't full into her. Is this fair?

All is fair in love and war.

Regardless of age, attractiveness, physical appearance, etc., there are always people who will go into relationships for ulterior motives. It happens everyday. Even if a younger man is in a relationship with an older woman for ulterior motives, both people get something out of the relationship. And who knows, maybe the woman has ulterior motives.

What you give, it what you will get. You can't use me unless I allow it. What goes around comes around.

 

[tibb1908]

I understand. But what if it's a young man who prefers younger more attractive women, but he know he has to bring things to the table such as stability. He's in school and trying to establish himself, so he looks to the older woman who has the stability and money he needs, but isn't full into her. Is this fair?

I think they know the deal, if they know that his preference is for younger more attractive women. I think the older woman has to know that the relationship is probably temporary until he has his own financial security established.

 

[firecracker]

Women do it so why not Men?