You Proved Your Doubters/Haters Wrong--Share Your Stories Please

[CenteredGirl]

This is a great thread. I guess I'd have to say my 2 best friends doubted my ability to grow my hair. I knew them from high school and met them when I first jacked up my hair with a bad perm.

Fast forward, we met up a year ago (we live in different parts of the country) and they were like erplexed "what happened?" and too boot my hair had grown without a perm! I turned them on to couple of hair sites, they gave assurances they would join and do this for themselves.

I checked in with them a couple of months after and they had thrown their hands up in the air claiming "it was too much work".

Oh well. Now my momma never doubted and she's glad that my hair is back to it's healthy state when she took care of it.

 

[caribeandiva]

This is a great thread. I guess I'd have to say my 2 best friends doubted my ability to grow my hair. I knew them from high school and met them when I first jacked up my hair with a bad perm.

Fast forward, we met up a year ago (we live in different parts of the country) and they were like erplexed "what happened?" and too boot my hair had grown without a perm! I turned them on to couple of hair sites, they gave assurances they would join and do this for themselves.

I checked in with them a couple of months after and they had thrown their hands up in the air claiming "it was too much work".

Oh well. Now my momma never doubted and she's glad that my hair is back to it's healthy state when she took care of it.

oh well, healthy hair isn't for everyone. It's only for those who are willing to work for it. Next time your friends comment on your hair just smile and shrug.

 

[ebonimama]

I wear half wigs most of the time. I thought nobody ever paid attention to my wigs until one day I wore my real hair to work and one of the guys I work with told me he thought I was bald headed. I was shocked and asked him why would he think that??!! He said that one of the girls I work with (black) told him I was bald and that's why I always wore wigs.

I work with a girl that has thick strong hair. she's had shoulder length hair as long as I've know her. It's always been thick and shiny. When I wore my hair out recently she commented that my hair was as long as hers now. Uh yeah! My hair is almost bsl and hers is still shoulder length.

When people see my hair they always make comments like, well your hair grows well because you have a good grade of hair. Well why was my hair a broken mess at above shoulder length for so long? No dearest, I've learned good hair principles and take better care of my hair now. I'm the furthest thing from a "good" grade of hair.

 

[*Muffin*]

Fortunately I have a lot of supportive people in my life and they haven't really doubted me. One of the things I wanted to prove to the world in general is that Black women can have healthy hair as well. I've changed the opinions of a couple of people I've come in contact with. For instance, there was this one mixed guy who asked me "is that all your hair?" and I was kind of surprised but answered "yes". and he said "You have long hair for a black girl". I just replied "anyone can have long hair if they take care of it properly". So it just feels really good when you can destroy some of the stereotypes people have .

 

[zzirvingj]

I like this thread

I thought about it, and I realized that I've actually had more people verbally express doubting themselves to me than I've had people express that they actually doubted me.

There have been numerous times women have come up to me and we've had a conversation go something along the lines of:

Them: Wow...I love your hair. It's so pretty....and it's really long, too. Is it all yours?

Me: Yep.

Them: Well, you're one of the lucky ones. My hair would never grow that long.

Me: Why not?

Them: It just never has...plus my hair is nothing like yours.

Me: Well in 2003 I had around an inch of hair.

Them:

Me: See...this is the longest my hair has ever been in my life, and it never grew to this length until I (1) changed my attitude about my hair and started believing that it could grow longer, and (2) started educating myself about what I would have to start doing differently in order to achieve longer, healthier hair. Contrary to what you may think by looking at my hair right now, I have very highly textured, afro-kinky hair that many have called "unmanageable", and have stated it wouldn't grow past a certain length...so if I can come from around an inch of hair to where I'm at now, so can you

Them: :sweet:

Me:

Sometimes the biggest challenge in achieving what we want...and not only when it comes to our hair...is our own self-defeating mentality. You have to learn to break old thought processes if you want positive change. Something I have to remind myself of on a regular basis.

 

[Shalilac]

I think this may be a subconscious reason I've bc'd so many times. Folks have always doubted (and hated) so I like to prove them wrong. When I started cosmetology school I had bsl relaxed hair. Nothing was wrong with it, but the stupid comments from the other sistas were getting tired... "Oh! She ain't black!"; "She got that good hair"; "Why you be wearing fake ponytails and you got all that hair. You don't know what to do with your hair!" "So what is you anyway?" So one day I came to school with about 1/4 inch of hair. Then the comments changed to "I can't believe you cut off all that pretty hair"; "it won't grow back the same way"; "Oh shish! Her hair is nappy". Then it started to grow back and it eventually got longer than theirs. The comments completely stopped then. In some ways I feel like they can see me with a relaxer and then see me natural (proof of my napps ) and say ok maybe I can grow my hair long. Seeing is believing.

 

[FluffyRed]

this was a great thread; anymore stories?

 

[DaDragonPrincess]

AMEN sista, I would like to shoutout to the MEN haters, mainly black men that think BLACK WOMEN can't have long hair unless she is wearing a weave.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

I don't know about haters, but I know that one of my best friends FINALLY Turned herself in ( to me) about the condition of her hair. It looked terrible... and she used my Coconut oil when we were at the DNC in august.... I have tried to tell her for 2 years to not put cheapo relaxers, etc.... But her hair looks awful....

She finally asked me for help..... I gave her a basic Aloe Vera & Glycerin recipe for moisture.....

 

[blue_flower]

MORE HATER STORIES!! MORE HATER STORIES!!

 

[BGT]

My older sister gave me my first relaxer when I was 9. She didn't put any protection on my scalp like Vaseline and burned my neck in the process. I had a scab there for months and my neck was BLACK for years. erplexed She has always been the one I go to for relaxers when I couldn't afford a stylist so I'm thankful for that. but she was also the one who turned me onto flat-ironing and blow-drying.

I told her I was gonna start wearing sew-in weaves and even showed her some links of the hair I wanted to get (Halley's or Laniks). She was like,

"You don't need that expensive hair. Go to the BSS and get that for $7.99."

"But I want it to last for at least 1.5 months. So I have to buy higher quality hair."

"You should do that weave with the cap, it's cheaper."

"The one where they gel your hair up? That's too much damage, I don't want to do that. Besides, you can't moisturize your hair."

"You don't have to moisturize it! It's only on there for 2 weeks. Jasmine (her daughter) is doing that and he hair is growing so much." erplexed

"I rollerset every wash and I've retained all my NG. And I HAVE to moisturize my hair or it'll dry out and break out. With a sew-in, I can at least get some product to my own hair."

"Whatever, but you need a touch-up and a trim."

"I don't need one. I got one in November, and I don't have any split ends. I got a trim in September. Besides, I'm stretching my relaxers and I flat-iron my NG."

"Stretching, hmm? (while touching my scalp and probably rolling her eyes."

So I can't wait until December 2009 and my hair is swanging down my back.

 

[BGT]

Oh, and then I showed her one posters Fotki (one that has been growing her hair with weaves). She said, "Oh, that's fake."

"Why would she be lying?'
"To sell something."
"What's she selling?"
"Hmmm..."

 

[shae101s]

Oh, and then I showed her one posters Fotki (one that has been growing her hair with weaves). She said, "Oh, that's fake."

"Why would she be lying?'
"To sell something."
"What's she selling?"
"Hmmm..."

lol...your sis is really not trying to buy into the black girl long hair hype huh?



Anyways.. Here's my story....
When I just got my relaxer in 2003, my hair was APL...I grew it out and wore it up all the time, then I went ahead and got a bob cut with a blow out and everyone who already thought my APL hair was fake, came in and said, "oh now she wears wigs"...So I grew my hair back to shoulder lenght and still had the haters who exclaimed "wow, it's so thick and healthy and long"....FAST FORWARD, two years later after lack of haircare and just lost of enthusiasm for the relaxer my hair was a HOT mess, so I said I will go natural, back to what I can handle (btw my natural hair before the relaxer was apl stretched). Well the people I knew, my friends mostly, are all doubtful I could grow my hair past shoulder lenght...But I am here to prove them wrong..Soon baby!

And oh I forgot to mention, i had one straight up hater, wrote me an annonymous comment about how my BC was not wise and how they hate my hair and it doesn't fit me...Hmmm they go to my school i am sure, and I wonder what they say now when they see my thick healthy head or hair? I just laugh and smile at my haters...APL, BSL, MIDBACK Here I come!!

 

[BGT]

lol...your sis is really not trying to buy into the black girl long hair hype huh?

No, she knows my hair was down my back before. Her daughter's too. Hers could but she cuts it off. She just thinks I'm doing it wrong

 

[Tee]

My old beautican would get pissed off angry at me for going 8 weeks between relaxers. YES just 8 weeks. She said if I kept doing that all my hair would fall out and she "aint got nothing to do with it!" She even got so angry that she said, "Yall can do whatever yall want. IF you want to dye it Orange, okay! IF you want to , I will do it. Since yall know more than me anyway!" What the world!!

Needless to say, I stopped seeing her and moved on to someone else. (I wasn't at the point of caring for my hair and being educated for myself on MY hair.)

Fast Forward about 7 years. I see her in a store and she said, girl your hair is beautiful. What the world did you do or did you get a weave? RME I said, "You know just the usual stuff." She asked for more details. I told her, "Well not relaxing my hair every 6 weeks has really made a difference; along with not using a lot of heat, deep conditioning weekly, etc.)

I wanted to tell her to pick up her lip. Yes, it is possible!!

 

[beans4reezy]

There is this one girl who is a freaking know it all, one upper that works my nerves. She always has something to say. Plus she likes my dh so she is really on my list. Here's how it went down.
Stupid chick: Why did you cut all of your hair off?
Me: Because it's mine. Why do you care?
Stupid chick: You know it's going to take forever to grow it back right?
Me: Blink, blink, blink

Fast forward she sees me at an event and my back is to her. She doesn't know it's me and was even asking who the girl was with the long hair. They were like that's Q isn't her hair beautifu?

This is how she looked
Stupid chick: Wow Q your hair has really grown. What are you doing?
Me: You know the usual stuff that's all.
Stupid chick: It's longer than mine now.
Me: I know, crazy huh?!!!

Oh and I was getting so much attention from people that she suddenly had something wrong with her So everyone was with her trying to make sure she was okay. All of a sudden she couldn't breathe and had to leave although she was fine just a frew minutes before she saw me. Yeah, RIGHT!!! Q

THIS IS AN AMAZING STORY!!!!!!! THANKS FOR BOTH THE INSPIRATION AND THE LAUGHS.....

 

[delitefulmane]

OOOOO pick me, pick me!! I have one!!
Well, for starters I am natural!! I have been wearing my hair in twists for most of the summer up until December of last year (2008 hehe).

My family kinda laughed at me for being on here SOOOO much and sarcastically said " Yeah your hair is gonna be down your back next time we see you."

Well when I got my hair straightened after being in twists for months, my hair was noticeably longer!!

THem: Wow, it is longer! I guess being on that site really helped
Me:


I can't wait to see their faces when its MBL!! Oh boy!!

 

[luxe.li.]

I have doubters and followers I guess you can say. My mother told me I would hate my natural hair and that's why my aunt's hair is so short because her hair is too coarse to let it grow out so she just keeps it short. ME? I think my aunt just prefers to keep her hair short due to maintenance, because if she thought it was because she's natural she'd probably put a relaxer in it by now.

Then I have friends who ask, why are you going natural? How are you going to wear it? In dreads? In an afro? and I'm like looking at them like they're stupid and I say I'm going to wear it straight or curly if I want.

Then I have a friend who wanted to see my natural hair texture and was amazed when she saw it was spiral curls with some thick kinks in the middle. She said it was soo beautiful and it encouraged her to keep transitioning, because she was about to relax. But she's the type of person who thinks curly and wavy hair is prettier than kinky hair, because she asked me if I think her hair will be curly when she's natural, and I said, I don't know you'll figure that out as time goes, but turned around and 10 minutes later told everyone else that her natural hair is wavy, so I'm like wtf, okay whatever.

I have a lot of natural friends so I don't have many doubters, but I do have childhood friends who swear by relaxers that I'm excited to prove them wrong. I always tell my friend, you don't have to go natural to grow thick long hair, you just have to take care of your hair by not shampooing and using hair cleansers instead, and to deep condition.

But I can't wait for the long hair.

 

[Lexib]

Great thread. just bumping for more stories

 

[hillytmj]

When I first started my haircare journey, I had severely damaged, thin, see-thru, bleached ends. I went to a stylist near my house, and she recommended using a weekly reconstructor (that literally made my hair feel like a broom) and trimming it every two weeks. She did the reconstructor and an initial trim (I needed it at the time), and I was excited about the idea of progress. I asked, "now that we're getting my hair healthy and on the right track, do you think I can get it back like it was in college? I was able to wear a ponytail and it hung halfway to my bra?"

This woman was like, "no, there's no way that's gonna happen. Your hair can grow good when you're a kid, but you'll probably never have hair like that again." Needless to say, with her lack of vision and poor haircare recommendations, I dropped her within three weeks (I used be a loyal salon customer back in the day when I went all the time.)

I haven't seen this lady again, but I lwould ove to swing my hair in her face. It's currently touching the bottom of my brastrap and should be nearing MBL with the next relaxer.

 

[caribeandiva]

When I first started my haircare journey, I had severely damaged, thin, see-thru, bleached ends. I went to a stylist near my house, and she recommended using a weekly reconstructor (that literally made my hair feel like a broom) and trimming it every two weeks. She did the reconstructor and an initial trim (I needed it at the time), and I was excited about the idea of progress. I asked, "now that we're getting my hair healthy and on the right track, do you think I can get it back like it was in college? I was able to wear a ponytail and it hung halfway to my bra?"

This woman was like, "no, there's no way that's gonna happen. Your hair can grow good when you're a kid, but you'll probably never have hair like that again." Needless to say, with her lack of vision and poor haircare recommendations, I dropped her within three weeks (I used be a loyal salon customer back in the day when I went all the time.)

I haven't seen this lady again, but I lwould ove to swing my hair in her face. It's currently touching the bottom of my brastrap and should be nearing MBL with the next relaxer.

So glad you dropped her!

 

[MizAvalon]

This is a great story, Evsbaby. I hope to do the same for my mother and sisters. Fortunately, they're well aware of the fact that they don't know much about hair care, so I don't have to convince them that I'm right!

I don't have any stories to share because I have no hateration/holleration in this dancerine, at least when it comes to my hair. Thank goodness for that!

"Dancerine" is the word that she is saying in that song?

I swear, I never knew that until this minute.

 

[Nayna]

I had both, dummies and believers, my mother was weird, my sister and I went natural around the same time, but my sister I guess is 4b and im somewhere in the 3's (hair typing is annoying, I dont pay it much mind, lol) so my mother was hard on her (sis is a lawyer so my mother was even worse) and supportive of me, needless to say she relaxed after a while and I kept with it. Some friends were not supportive, I think it was a mixture of not thinking I could stick with it or just not believing in me or just not wanting my hair to grow longer than theirs. To this day they still ask if I have a relaxer in my head, I'm like heifers I cut it off years ago, this isn't the same hair that I had in 05, like they just don't want to believe that I chopped my hair off in late 2006 and that it's already almost where it was back then. I dont like when people act like becuase ur hair is textured differently thats why it grows, I get that a lot from people too, like oh ur hair is weird thats why it's like that, ummm no, I just care for it properly, I have this and youtube on hand in my iphone to prove to people that anyone can be natural, they just dont get it, lol

 

[Filmatic]

"Dancerine" is the word that she is saying in that song?

I swear, I never knew that until this minute.

I think it's actually 'dancery' bc it rhymes with me, we, etc that is in the song.

 

[Maynard]

Dancerie

HTH

 

[lila_baby]

hillytmj

PLEASE find this woman and swing it in her face!

 

[saved06]

I don't have doubters but I have alot of friends who are self doubters. I went natural 11 months ago and many friends liked it but said "you have good hair and I don't so I couldn't go natural"...I never understood what "good hair" is....I think if God made it grow out of your head then it is good...anyways I want to grow my hair nice and long and healthy so my friends can see that their hair is good but it is how you nuture it. I just have to have patience

 

[Pooks]

I was watching a hair condish advert on TV with my Mum and I was looking at this woman's (MBL) hair like 'aw yeah, thats where I'm headed' and she said 'your hair'll never be like hers' - not in a malicious way, but she just doesn't know any better...

I'm working on proving her wrong.

Great thread OP!

 

[GoingNatural]

My parent's didnt believe i'd be patient enough to transition. Even when I was sticking to it they doubted my hair would be anything manageable enough to work with once i was natural and that I wouldn't reach my length goals..

My dad finally admitted he was wrong and my mom now says she isn't surprised I succeeded

 

[supermodelsonya]

Well my hair isn't really....long but I've worked at my current garage for almost three years and I've always...ALWAYS...wore a sew in weave. I'm sure a lot of my coworkers thought I was bald.

So one day after taking my sew in out, I came to work with my the back of my hair down on my shoulders and the top part up in a ponytail. I looked like I was all of 12, but I was just coming to pick some paperwork up.

When I walked in amongst all the noisy bus drivers, there was a DEAD SILENCE. I tried my best not to laugh and I just walked past.

Finally this lady screamed out..."Girl you got all that pretty hair, why you wear those weaves?" Then a guy screamed out, "I thought she didn't have no hair!" I couldn't hold it, I started to crack up.

This guy even gave me his number and invited me out to a party. (Not sure what that was about)

But that made me excited about reaching longer lengths on my hair journey. I've been wearing my hair in protective styles. But I can't wait until June 2009 when I'm swinging APL hair! And the CTA Christmas Party will be even better when I'm rocking BSL hair.

Oh yeah...