"you need a perm, when you gonna get your hair done"

Shea

Shea

New Member
These are the questions that people have been asking me since I started my journey. I had my phony pony in for a baby shower and my friend offered me GEL!!!!!!!!!!!Black gel:eek: I declined. My friend how I was gonna do my hair for a party I told her another pony style and she asked if I was getting a relaxer first I'm 9 weeks post at the moment with 1.25 inches of NG BTW. It bothers me but I cant wait until I get some length. Did anyone experience this during their journey?
 
i havent experienced thta yet but im sure i will:ohwell: . if it bothers you maybe you should try a head band like what nicole ritchie always rocks.
 
Oh, I hear you!

I am 13 weeks post-relaxer, and last weekend at my cousin's house one of my male cousin's looked at my hair and said, "Girl, you need to get your hair DONE!". He went on and on... "You need to spend some money on yourself... You're a working woman, why can't you get your hair done every week like your mother?" (...who has very short hair and is actually quite bald in the middle due to all the heat her stylist uses). I couldn't take it. DH stood up for me and said he liked my hair the way it was. Of course, he took a little away from the comment by adding that he liked, even more, the money I was saving! :perplexed
 
YES YES AND YES! Wait till after your stretch when you rock your hair straight! Then they will be asking you for advice! HHG!
 
Eventually I am gonna wear lacefronts but screw that they are only talking smack bc they perm every 4 weeks and I am not playing yall. My NG is laid down and soft due to Scurl but they dont think my hairstyle is cute unless is slick and reflecting light:lol: its ok the reward is sweet
 
when I explain why I am stretching they look at me and I can hear crickets. When you tell people you are on a mission to grow your hair for some reason you dont get the same reaction as trying to lose weight. I think they dont believe me.
 
Yea, I really did. I heard it all the time. Most of the people who told me that I needed a relaxer had short, damaged hair though.
 
I actually got that kind of comment today. I too am 9 weeks post and I just made an appointment to get a retouch. Well, my dads assisant and personal friend of the family was "like good grief, you got a lot of newgrowth, when you gonna go get it done"; then she says I need a touch up too. Mind you she might have a quarter inch of newgrowth and then says "I don't know why I am getting crazy breakage lately either." Hummm....you would think she would put to and to together.
 
I've gotten that sort of thing off and on for years and years. The first time I cut off all my hair (around 15 years ago or so) I was rocking a very cute style but people were constantly telling me I needed to do "something" with my hair. Usually because, I liked a lot of atypical styles. Mohawks that sort of thing.

In the last few years that I've gotten serious about getting my hair healthy and growing and keeping length I hear it all the time. My Mom actually said ot me about three months ago,

"honey are you too poor to get a hot comb?"

I was wearing a pretty fluffy braid out and was SO proud that it was pretty and looked so healthy. But because it wasn't bone straight my Mom questoned it and hurt my feelings.

At this point I tell people I'll do what I feel like doing and it's none of your damn business what I do or don't do with my hair.
 
I used to get that plus, "you need to cut your hair", and "why don't you do something with your hair", and "let my stylist do your hair, she knows how to grow hair":perplexed .

Now, I just get looks when my back is turned and "your hair is really long" (in a weird off-tone). I am transitioning and I am rocking 2 textures but I have not heard a peep lately. Give it some time, when your hair is all thick and long you will be able to wear any style you want because those critics won't know what to say:lachen:
 
Ladies- I appreciate this thread! I'm stretching for the first time, my goal is to go 12 wks. and right now I'm 6wks post.

You ladies gave me heads up on what to expect...But I will focus on the reward!!!:D And Shea you're doing good! I have to tell myself don't touch that black gel:mad: .
 
lmao!

I can't even lie, I tell everyone around me what I'm "doing" with my hair. My co-workers call me 'juices & berries' because of it. I may go to work with my hair down, and mid-way through the day, I'll pin it up - someone will say to me "Is that one of your protecting styles?" I have a spritz bottle at my desk with my moisture concoction in it, so when i come from the bathroom with wet hair - they know why lol

I even have clued some of the white folks in so they don't get confused.

This is my first stretch without weaves/braids and so far the reaction from people has been positive and very encouraging. They're all pushing me to make it 12 weeks post.
 
my friends never stop telling me that. i eventually learn to agree with them and say that i'm gonna get one and then next time they see me i simply "forgot" to get one or i was too busy to get one. Either that or i tell them the next time i'm gonna get one so they can get off my back.
 
I get this all the time but when you look at the people telling you this, take a long look at their hair. Remember, 'misery likes
company' my mother used to say. In my opinion, mind your own business. This is my hair;)
 
What prompted my hair journey to healthy hair was after sitting in the hair salon for 3 HOURS! To get my hair texlaxed, washed, trimmed, blow dried AND flat ironed, my DH had the nerve to ask me, "What happened to your hair? Did you actually GO to the salon? You paid $100 for THAT?" When I stepped in the door. To add insult to injury, it was raining when I left the salon, she burned my hair because I stunk up my truck on the way home (Had to wind down the windows y'all!) AND my hair turned in to this BIG (I mean HUGE :lachen:) puff ball as soon as I walked from the salon to my truck, which was parked right on the curb! I didn't know what I was gonna do at the time but I just KNEW texlaxing+blow drying+flat ironing my hair EVERY 6 weeks was too much stress for my tresses! Thank god I found LHCF. My name is jayjaycurlz. I'm a heat addict and pj. I've been HEAT FREE since June 2006 (I'm working on my PJ ways - It'll take time y'all!) :grin:

Since I'm no longer flat ironing or getting a blow-out (I'm trying to stretch out my texlaxer touch-ups to 12 weeks ~ see my sig) my DH has the nerve to tell me to do something with my hair I'm tired of the curls! Well I'll surprise him @ Chrismas when I'll flat iron my hair (ONLY 4 the holiday & then it's back to no heat - promise ;)) and I'll have beautiful, shiny, almost APL length hair - he'll be like :eek: - now who will have the LAST laugh ~ ME:lol: !

OP ~ Keep ya head up! Remember it's your hair and HEALTHY hair is your goal!
 
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yes yes gurl... i get gurl you need yo hair done.. ect ect ect all the time... im like you gone braid it fa free.. up no. so dont worry about it.. its crazy
 
I get this all the time but now I don't care what know one says. When asked why I don't have my hair done. I just say I get a touch every 10-12 weeks and not before. I don't even go into the why I do this and why I do that anymore....they should have listened when I was trying to tell them...my SO sister said to me one day....girl I could'nt wear my hair in a ponytail that makes you look like a little girl but I just ignore her and when she sees my hair on special events she's like what are you doing to your hair...I say I just wash it...and put it in a ponytail and baggie my ends and she goes on to say the usual...girl I couldn't wear ponytails...but I can't wait until December so I can be like BAM!! this is what ponytails do.....mind you her hair is short and damaged and will not grow for nothing:)
 
(Long sigh).... Ok y'all.... maybe I can get this out....

three months natural... whenever I wear my hair out and my mom sees me, she asks me if I'm going to get relaxers. I remind her that I've already told her that I don't plan to get relaxers anymore. Today I have a phony pony in.... She GLAZES me (my term for saying she really lays on the compliments about how "pretty" my hair looks). I've learned to just say "thank you" and not make a smart-aleck remark that sounds like "my hair is pretty when it's out". I have about 5 inches of hair (stretched). It likes to shrink a bit....

I cannot lie...the phony pony compliments whittles away at my confidence with regard to wearing my natural hair out.... I might even get talked into a weave for the holidays (Christmas, New Year's and my birthday--also on New Year's Day).... I just feel like I'm betraying myself....
 
Love this thread:D . I'll be 14 weeks come Wednesday and I can still say, so far so good. My sweetie is the only one that's annoyed with my hair cuz he's used to seeing me with it down. So it's killing him. But he knows that I'm on a mission. My mom has always tried to persuade me to stretch my relaxers but I never ever listened to her. She's all excited for me now though. She rubbed it in a lil too, "I told you so" is what she said:p . It's cool though. Not mad at her.

I just can't wait til it's time for me to relax. I still don't know where I'm gonna get my hurr done. I refuse to go to past beauticians and I don't know if moms will be able to tackle my ng when it's time. **SIGHS**
I'll figure something out.
 
Shea said:
when I explain why I am stretching they look at me and I can hear crickets. When you tell people you are on a mission to grow your hair for some reason you dont get the same reaction as trying to lose weight. I think they dont believe me.
Click to expand...
That's because growing out our hair carries more "weight" than losing weight. ;)
 
This happened to me about a year into my journey, texlaxed and well into my stretching. Family would ask me when I'm going to get my hair done or offered me some relaxer products to try. I've been referred to hair salons to get my hair relaxed. Some would actually pat my hair down while speaking to me.
 
no worries i get that all the time and my last perm was june 04 my sisters ask my mom says my braidouts look wild the dude in my life says my natural hair makes me look eclectic and he likes it but sometimes he's like are you ever going to perm your hair again ...what part of no don't you understand!! so hold out as long as you want
 
This happened to me this past weekend. The stylist was like "You need a relaxer!" And I said "You just gave me one 3 weeks ago, remember?" Between the vitamins and topical growth aids I've learned about on the board, I look like I'm about 6 weeks post at 3 weeks:D I am just hoping most of it is new growth and not reversion...
 
Shea said:
Did anyone experience this during their journey?
Click to expand...

I get it once I am 8 weeks post, ALL THE TIME and then they ask why don't I relax every 6 weeks. Don't feel bad though. A girl even asked me if I were wearing a wig one time because my roots were so thick and unruly. :perplexed
 
Shea said:
These are the questions that people have been asking me since I started my journey. I had my phony pony in for a baby shower and my friend offered me GEL!!!!!!!!!!!Black gel:eek: I declined. My friend how I was gonna do my hair for a party I told her another pony style and she asked if I was getting a relaxer first I'm 9 weeks post at the moment with 1.25 inches of NG BTW. It bothers me but I cant wait until I get some length. Did anyone experience this during their journey?
Click to expand...
I'm sorry you're getting so much flak, Shea. Why can't we show some love for all our curls and coils and not just the curls. :ohwell:

I see too many black women pulling their hair into tight, smooth, shiny ponytails as their hairlines disappear into the ether. You are on the right path so don't be discouraged.
 
"It's your thang, do what you wanna do, they can't tell you how to rock your 'do", hear me now!!!

How much money has been donated for this stying trip? They ain't paying, they ain't saying:grin:
 
tenderheaded said:
"It's your thang, do what you wanna do, they can't tell you how to rock your 'do", hear me now!!!

How much money has been donated for this stying trip? They ain't paying, they ain't saying:grin:
Click to expand...

You're funny! I like that! :lol: :lol:
 
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