1. She's a racist in DENIAL.
2. She's a mean spirited *****!
From what I read she has no consideration for anybody's feelings I'm sure she says mean hurtful crap all day long to white and well as ethnic people. The whole prefacing statements that are ignorant and incredibly rude is very suspect and they are not cute. Not only what she said was wrong but how she said it needs to be addressed, if she doesn't know about other cultures you don't just make mean statements and then plead stupidity, that's not going to work because there is a right and wrong way to ask, and she's all wrong. She's not trying to ask and learn she's just spewing out little bits of hate wrapped in bow.
1st sit her down and explain to her that the way she talks to people is rude, leave out the hair issue at first that's something else and that she is completely clueless when it comes to being nice, and understanding and that she will run across the wrong person one day and be sorry and she's lucky that you're so cultured that you can explain this to her calmly. trans. tell her she's a ***** and if she rolls up on the wrong people she will get knocked the F out.
2nd deal with the obvious racism and don't sugar coat it for her, she needs to know that what she said, has been saying is outright RACIST. Ask her where this passive aggression is coming from and what did anyone ever do to her? And that she needs to look inside and figure out why she acts like this and says these hurtful things. Maybe she needs therapy. Tell her that if she doesn't know about something she should ask in a respectful way and not make statements according to her squewed and limited points of reference IE whatever she heard on the train.
3rd tell her you will not tolerate her trying to make you feel inferior by imposing her Nazi/Hitler-ish views about race and hair texture on you. Also tell her that she needs to get educated on other cultures and races and that Africans have straight hair too refer her to the Egypt, North, South east Africans and Madagascar and that white people invented hair extensions/wigs-Britney, (Brit's hair didn't grow THAT fast come on) Pam Anderson, Jenifer Aniston, Madonna, all wear extensions on a daily basis. Then give her the link to LHCF and tell her to come to this board and fotki so she can see some banging hair relaxed and natural that doesn't need weaves that is superhealthy and superlong.
Just print what I said out and use it as talking points or hand it to her, if you can't say all this to her face, I don't mind she really needs it.
On the other hand it's not like she's saying these things in a vacuum. It's true other races ethnicities including whites wear extensions, but they don't go around talking about everywhere. They only talk about hair woes to close friends, they don't go announcing it down the hallways. Like at school or work you constantly hear black women talking in front of men women, whites whoever about how they need a perm really bad, how their hair is soooo nappy cause they haven't had a touch-up in a month and they can't come through it. How you don't wash your hair, how much you're afraid of water on your hair. How they have to go buy hair, and grease an stuff. I could go on and on. I'm sure that's where she got part of her shotty info from they're listening when these kind convo's go on OK.
It really gets on my last nerve, why can't you keep your weaves/wigs hair products and hair dilemmas to yourself as a people. I never entered into those kind of convo's and always walked away, I don't want to be associated with that kind of negative talk, period. That kind of talk just perpetuates the stereotypes and myths about black/curly hair. Just keep it to yourself why does the whole world have to basically hear the statement my hair is difficult and I hate it. That just makes everyone hate black/curly hair too and feeds into the negative stereotype of black/curly hair and perpetuates the hate.
ex: I was at the store buying a blowdryer/diffuser and a white girl was buying the same exact item. She asked if it worked I said yes they both work well the dryer and the diffuser for curly hair. She said oh I'm just buying it for the dryer I don't have that problem. (hold up... what?) I told this total stranger that curly hair wasn't a problem it's just curly, then I flipped it and turned away as her eyes went big and her mouth opened.
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. I wouldn't even allow a black person to say that to me.
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Today, I did untwisted and teased. I wonder if that's what all the white people in my class are thinking!!!!!
But I totally agree with you.
