"you need a perm, when you gonna get your hair done"

[Candycane044]

Yea, I really did. I heard it all the time. Most of the people who told me that I needed a relaxer had short, damaged hair though.

I've been transitioning for about a year now, and I have 5 inches of natural hair, ppl tell me all the time i need a relaxer. But as anky says they all had damaged hair, the ladies with long hair gave me encouragement and even said they had been thinking about transitioning as well.

 

[Hareitiz]

I've never got the " you need a perm" from anyone, I've gotten funny looks and "how are you going to wear with your hair once your hair grows out" and I just tell them however I want 'cause I will be able to wear it curly, straight, however! I am 17 weeks post and wear my hair in a bun 95% of the time. When I do flat iron my hair out, then I get from people and they tell me how long my hair is getting. They just can't put two and two together and realize that I am finally doing my hair some justice!

 

[InNeedofHairapy]

I'm 23 weeks post, but I don't really get the comments. I think most people in my life were used to me being natural, and were kind of put out by me getting a relaxer. So going through a transition right now is nothing to them, because they are used to the curly fros from long ago. OTHER People who don't know me may look at me funny..but that's rare, because I don't wear my hair straight, and you can't tell that much that I have two (or three) textures going on right now.

I'm considering a relaxer and trim though..I just don't know...but even if I relax, I'm still going to stretch about 12-14 weeks in between relaxers

 

[shani325]

when I explain why I am stretching they look at me and I can hear crickets. When you tell people you are on a mission to grow your hair for some reason you dont get the same reaction as trying to lose weight. I think they dont believe me.

yes girl they look at you like you are crazy, a year from now they will be the same way, coming up with all types of excuses why your hair has grown, screw them!

 

[Shea]

Thats true the people who are giving suggestion glue in tracks and they have hard spritzed hair and still use Pink Lotion One of my friends got 3 perms since I had my last relaxer can u believe 3 relaxers in about 3 months

 

[InJesusName]

I have been hearing the "what happened?" since I started this hair journey. Folks were used to seeing the twice a week salon visit sista and all of a sudden I was walking around with buns.

Well, I went to get a blow out last week and she blowed it STRAIGHT!!!! It was nice the first day, but the next morning, my hair was do limp and lifeless. I want my texlax back!

Just be patient and watch the you get when you are rocking that swanging, healthy hair!

 

[Sweetyb]

I've been seeing that a lot of women really know how to stretch their relaxers! 10... 20 weeks+, dang! That's great that yall can do your own thing with your hair regardless of who's saying what, no matter how close they may be to you. And it's apparently paying off for you ladies. This is just another example showing that being confident in yourself and your journey will take you far in life, hair journeys or whatever else.

 

[Princess Pie]

This happened to me about a year into my journey, texlaxed and well into my stretching. Family would ask me when I'm going to get my hair done or offered me some relaxer products to try. I've been referred to hair salons to get my hair relaxed. Some would actually pat my hair down while speaking to me.

I get the same thing from the (s) where I work. Y'all wouldn't believe some of the comments/suggestions I get about my hair. I am constantly being pressured to relax, cut, and "style" my hair. I actually had this lady tell me my hair wasn't healthy, and that's why it appears fine textured. erplexed

However, if the shoe was on the other foot, I doubt they would be too happy. I often wonder how people would feel if I groped their thinning edges and broken off ends, the way they constantly point out every perceived "problem" with my hair. I am always amazed at what people think is an acceptable way to treat another person.

Basically, I just ignore them. Sometimes, I try to placate them by saying, "trimming is against my religion, or I'm going to get a touch up soon/next week."

 

[FineChyna]

when i was transitioning i got a lot of nasty remarks from people, especially a male friend of mines. one day he asked me "why i don't get my hair done" and when i replied that i was growing out my perm and there were no stylist that specialized in natural hair in our area he snapped "well why don't you perm it then? you should be ashamed of yourself!" when i told him perms break off my hair and my current length is the longest its been in years he rolled his eyes.

another girl told me "you have pretty hair, why don't you get it done?" i replied "my hair is done" (i was wearing a bun at the time) and she frowned up and rolled her eyes.

i noticed when it comes to black hair people always have to take the nasty comments to the next level. why do we have to be at the salon every week anyway? aren't protective styles a TYPE of hair style?

anyway let me stop, i already made a thread asking why can't protective styles be considered styles on here

 

[ashiah]

Earlier this year, I was doing a super stretch (20+ weeks) and my mom kept begging me to go to her stylist and get a relaxer. She told me she would pay for it herself and she would schedule it for me. Needless to say, when I did get a relaxer and she saw all the new length, she started stretching her relaxer, too. Now she's all into hair care.

 

[Wishin4BSL]

People tell me I need to get my hair done too. My mom constantly tells me that I need to get a relaxer before all of my hair falls out!!! The funny thing is that she was telling me how long it's getting, yet she still insists on saying that my hair is going to fall out. I have one other friend who has really long hair a little past BSL and relaxes every three to four months (not for healthy hair, but out of habit) and I can always talk to her when I get frustrated with the comments.

 

[crlsweetie912]

I have a bun with lot's of waves today. It's really humid here so it's not perfectly straight. Today on the way to work my mamma said "ummm, it's time for a perm ain't it?" She was dead serious. I said Ma, you know I am stretching! She said stretching what? LOL
I am so proud of my progress, I didn't let it bother me. My momma doesn't know jack about hair and she barely washes hers herself. I am gonna be so happy when I finally relax in January! I have at least 1 3/4 inches of new growth and I am only 6 weeks post!

 

[isioma85]

This is why I love this site, you know someone can always relate.

My aunt drives me totally insane sometimes with the perm thing.

"You need to use TCB. That's what'll get your hair straight."
"You know you look really ugly when you wear your hair like that. (I had on some protective style or other.)"
"If you don't relax your hair it'll keep cutting (breaking)." (my hair does NOT break that much, so I'on know where the 'keep cutting' came from)"
"Relaxer on a regular basis is what makes the hair grow."

I love this lady to pieces, but come on! And the thing is she used to be a hair stylist, but she specialized in braids and weaves, so I sometimes find that she can be clueless when it comes to hair health. She's always telling me how "fine" my hair would look if I just did it the right way. Sheesh. erplexed

 

[isioma85]

Why was I talking to my friend last night about our outfits and hair for tonight's party, and when I told her I was stretching for 4 months she said "You need to relax that nappy *expletive* every 4 weeks just like everybody else." I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo mad but I didn't say anything because I don't want to ruin the mood for tonight. Now I really have to make sure my hair's on point for tonight. Why are people so clueless when it comes to good hair practices? Her hair is SL but really thin. I'm more motivated to grow this mug out just BECAUSE of statements like this.

Just venting.

 

[fattyfatfat]

a couple of weeks ago a guy shouted out to me that i needed a perm. i just kept it moving. i dont let other people dictate to me what i should do with my hair. i stretched for 5 weeks before, and now im working on 8 weeks this time. some people just dont realize that not all of us want our hair super straight and silky all the darn time.

 

[*Happily Me*]

i used to hear off comments too from while i was transitioning. one lady in particular, a sister, would really get on my nerves. she called me buckwheat! this was in front of other co-workers :shmd:

a year later, her hair is still the same chin length. i don't even bother trying to offer her hair advice. f' her

ETA - i have made suggestions in the past but to her, i'm a "hater". she perms every 4 - 6 weeks without fail. as soon as she gets some newgrowth around her edges, she's complains to everyone who'll listen - white girls included, how she needs to perm her naps.

 

[isioma85]

i used to hear off comments too from while i was transitioning. one lady in particular, a sister, would really get on my nerves. she called me buckwheat! this was in front of other co-workers :shmd:

a year later, her hair is still the same chin length. i don't even bother trying to offer her hair advice. f' her

ETA - i have made suggestions in the past but to her, i'm a "hater". she perms every 4 - 6 weeks without fail. as soon as she gets some newgrowth around her edges, she's complains to everyone who'll listen - white girls included, how she needs to perm her naps.

When ol' girl told me I need to perm every 4 weeks like errbody else, I almost went "You ever wonder why errbody else got hair just grazing their ears?" But, for the sake of peace. People act as if having your newgrowth show is a thing of shame. Jeez.

 

[LeeC23]

First post--- Hello ya'll. My name is Vilicia, but everyone calls me Leecee.

Back to the topic, just about everyone in my family asks me this except for my sis. My mother and brother leave me messages asking me to let them perm/press/braid whatever to my head. I wear braidouts all the time now, cause its easy and I look cute. I love them, but its my head darnit!

 

[Treasure2k6]

I could create a list of the insensitive remarks that have been thrown at me since I started my hair care journey.

When you gone slap a perm in that?
Why don't you go to hair dresser anymore?
Are you being influenced? (as if its a negative crowd who has couched me into doing such a bad thing like...HAIR CARE !)
Are you going through something?
I want to straighten your hair.

BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!