You left your socks here. What do you want me to do with them?"

Glib Gurl

Glib Gurl

Well-Known Member
Ok ladies. If you couldn't already tell from this thread or this one, I was unsure of how to go about ending a relationship.

After a weak attempt on his part to "do better," I decided yesterday that I'd had enough. I was tired of checking my phone every few minutes to see if he had texted or called. I was really starting to lose respect for myself. I mean, is this really what I'm limiting myself to - whatever crumbs he tosses my way? Especially with my birthday coming up, I just didn't want this hanging over my head.

Everyone in my "real life" as well as many members here advised to just go dark, but that didn't sit well with me. I really wanted closure. I wanted it clear that further contact was no longer welcome so I could stop being attached to my phone. So, I dialed his number and proceeded thusly:

"Don't worry about next Saturday. You are no longer welcome to celebrate my birthday with me. And going forward there is no reason for you to contact me."

He took it pretty calmly and simply said, "Alright then. Good night."

20 minutes later, I get a text - "You left your socks here. What do you want me to do with them?"

I ignored it.

I then get a loooong email via LinkedIn that basically says "I respect your decision. I've deleted you from my phone so you will have to contact me if you want to be in touch. Let me know if you want me to do with your socks. I can meet you someplace and bring them or you can stop by and pick them up."

As much as I was tempted to write, "Boy. I left those socks at your place over a month ago. I ain't thinkin' about them socks. Toss them in the trash. Burn 'em. I don't care." I didn't. I just ignored the messages.

I have blocked him from my phone. All old voicemails and texts have been deleted.

I am sad that he didn't measure up to what I wanted him to be, but I'm glad that I stood up for myself and put myself back in the driver's seat of my life.
 
Ignore him.

He is now of the opinion that you want to be in contact with him so he's leaving that "booty call" door open while making it clear that he's over it. Don't give in to his antics. Delete the message and KIM.
 
See, this is why you just go ghost. Closure conversations seem to never result in closure. It strings things along. And guys get a kick out of reeling you back in after you've professed that you're no longer interested. It's a game for them.
 
Hmm...

I see you reaching out to him again. Not that you should, but because you bothered to tell him he was fired. And you started yet another thread on him. I think you still have feelings and low self esteem, so yeah. You'll be in touch again.

BTW, if you want him to really get upset...don't respond. Not even to tell him to stop calling. He will be the one obsessing. But...I don't think you can do it.
 
Yeah, you gotta learn to keep your mouth shut and not say anything. If you don't want the man, do like they do and disappear without warning. You don't need to announce that you're done because he wouldn't give you the same courtesy if he was through with you.
 
I like what you said to him. It's very direct and to the point. Nice and mature on your part. And he did well too until he brought up the socks :lol:. I guess he had to try... And the last conversation you had with him and subsequently blocking him is really for you. You are telling yourself and the universe that you are worthy, lovable, and deserving of someone better than him. I'm proud of you and please keep posting. I love seeing you mature and become more confident. Your threads are likely helping other women on here going through similar relationship issues.
 
kandake said:
See, this is why you just go ghost. Closure conversations seem to never result in closure. It strings things along. And guys get a kick out of reeling you back in after you've professed that you're no longer interested. It's a game for them.
Click to expand...

:yep: my ex and i fought FOR MONTHS after we broke up. he kept contacting me starting mess and had the nerve to act like i was the one harassing him. its really hard to do and im not completely above it myself but the best thing to do is really not feed into it because they just want the attention.
 
He'll be back. Trying to give you those socks again.

And who gives a crap about blocking on LinkedIn? I didn't even know you could do that.
 
I'm sorry but this reminds me of little children "I don't wanna be your friend and you can't come to my birthday party anymore!" :lol:

Anyhow, I hope you got the closure you were looking for.
 
LOL! I've been lured by many things (mostly shiny things), but never socks. I'll give him an "A" for effort. Just continue to ignore him.
 
Godsdaughter001 said:
Hmm...

I see you reaching out to him again. Not that you should, but because you bothered to tell him he was fired. And you started yet another thread on him. I think you still have feelings and low self esteem, so yeah. You'll be in touch again.

BTW, if you want him to really get upset...don't respond. Not even to tell him to stop calling. He will be the one obsessing. But...I don't think you can do it.
Click to expand...

You say this as though having feelings is something she should be ashamed of. Sometimes we care about someone and realize they aren't right for us, so even if we feel something for them, we are trying to cut them out of our lives because they aren't good. I say: if that's what you need to jumpstart your letting go and healing process, fine, reach out. You're not hurting anyone.
 
Godsdaughter001 said:
Hmm...

I see you reaching out to him again. Not that you should, but because you bothered to tell him he was fired. And you started yet another thread on him. I think you still have feelings and low self esteem, so yeah. You'll be in touch again.

BTW, if you want him to really get upset...don't respond. Not even to tell him to stop calling. He will be the one obsessing. But...I don't think you can do it.
Click to expand...

LivingInPeace said:
Yeah, you gotta learn to keep your mouth shut and not say anything. If you don't want the man, do like they do and disappear without warning. You don't need to announce that you're done because he wouldn't give you the same courtesy if he was through with you.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your opinions. I understand that perspective. But this is what I needed to do for me. I don't like leaving anything open-ended...whether I'm fighting with my friends, family, etc. I make no apologies for being a sensitive soul and going about things my own way.

Urban said:
I'm sorry but this reminds me of little children "I don't wanna be your friend and you can't come to my birthday party anymore!" :lol:

Anyhow, I hope you got the closure you were looking for.
Click to expand...

Our last fight was about my birthday party next week. I don't want him trying to roll through. (I deleted him from the evite and I know he is too unorganized to have written down the details.)
 
Glib Gurl said:
Thank you for your opinions. I understand that perspective. But this is what I needed to do for me. I don't like leaving anything open-ended...whether I'm fighting with my friends, family, etc. I make no apologies for being a sensitive soul and going about things my own way.



Our last fight was about my birthday party next week. I don't want him trying to roll through. (I deleted him from the evite and I know he is too unorganized to have written down the details.)
Click to expand...

I know all about being sensitive. That's why I can say from personal experience that some things need to be kept to yourself. Everything does not need to be revealed to a man.
 
Oh good, you beat him to the punch. He is trying to gain back the upper hand and you're doing a great job by not letting him. Because if you did, he'd just reel you in just enough to turn the tables back and probably bounce and then YOU would be the one feeling bad.

Stay strong sis!!!
 
Godsdaughter001 said:
Hmm...

I see you reaching out to him again. Not that you should, but because you bothered to tell him he was fired. And you started yet another thread on him. I think you still have feelings and low self esteem, so yeah. You'll be in touch again.

BTW, if you want him to really get upset...don't respond. Not even to tell him to stop calling. He will be the one obsessing. But...I don't think you can do it.
Click to expand...


Telling her she has low self esteem is non-constructive…don't you think?
 
Some of these responses seem extra. You did GREAT, OP. Continue to block/ignore/reject him ... it'll drive him nuts.
 
I think that you're doing too much and giving him too much power. Deleting him from linkedin, evite etc. You're giving him the impression that you're that into him. Tell the people at the door not to let him in/ask him to leave if he show up at your bday party and just ignore him. Find closure within yourself. You did what you had to do and all that you can do to make it work but he didn't step up to the plate. You're sad and upset and allowed to feel that way but take your power back :hug2:
 
kandake said:
See, this is why you just go ghost. Closure conversations seem to never result in closure. It strings things along. And guys get a kick out of reeling you back in after you've professed that you're no longer interested. It's a game for them.
Click to expand...

YES! I wish more of us would understand this!!! They are hip to the game. We are not good at it!
 
LiftedUp said:
I think that you're doing too much and giving him too much power. Deleting him from linkedin, evite etc. You're giving him the impression that you're that into him. Tell the people at the door not to let him in/ask him to leave if he show up at your bday party and just ignore him. Find closure within yourself. You did what you had to do and all that you can do to make it work but he didn't step up to the plate. You're sad and upset and allowed to feel that way but take your power back :hug2:
Click to expand...

I see it the opposite. If this is what SHE needs in order to compose herself and not be tempted to reach out, then let her. There's no shame in having lingering feelings, it takes time for those to go away so it's important the temptation isn't there.
 
Yeah, I don't think OP did anything wrong, really. I think dude is going to hit her up again, guys can be very persistent. He'll find a way lol. At this point, any attention is good attention (for him), so I would continue to ignore him. Guys can be so ridiculous sometimes.
 
CarLiTa said:
You say this as though having feelings is something she should be ashamed of. Sometimes we care about someone and realize they aren't right for us, so even if we feel something for them, we are trying to cut them out of our lives because they aren't good. I say: if that's what you need to jumpstart your letting go and healing process, fine, reach out. You're not hurting anyone.
Click to expand...

I apologize for coming off so crass. You're right, there's nothing wrong with having feelings. But, this guy OP is bothered about is not worth her time or her energy - judging from how she described his behavior. I do disagree, however that it's not hurting anyone if she reaches out to him. She will be setting herself up for disappointment if she reaches out and that would be a big mistake.

OP, I was trying to use reverse psychology on you. I apologize that it came across as mean. Point blank, you deserve better. Don't give dude the satisfaction of getting back into your heart. He doesn't seem serious or mature.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
 
This is why I make it a point to not leave anything at anyone's home unless I live there. No one leaves anything at my home either unless they live there. Not extended family, friends, (ex)boyfriends, etc.

I don't like people pulling the "I got yo stuff" card of items that need to be dropped off or picked up. A clean break is a CLEAN break with nothing left behind. Not even hairpins lol. If I forget something, I ask for it back ASAP....because who wants this interrupting a clean break away later on.

Socks are nothing to lose sleep over but they shouldn't have been a part of that discussion either. I wouldn't have given him the opportunity.
 
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