What do YOU think happened here??

[SHEANITPRO]

Just let it go...and walk away, if you feel you deserve better.

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Men are so dumb. This dude dont even know how to cheat right.

Thats a good thing for you OP. Now you know whats up. What he did was some ole high school stuff.

 

[SexySin985]

Thank you guys so much for all your responses. You guys don't know how much this community means to me.... I feel as though I am being backed in a corner with nowhere to turn and no one to talk to.. So your comments are really appreciated

As stated before, we work together at the same job overnight. He was a work last night and things were going okay because I just acted as if he weren't there. I just didnt have the energy to deal with him at all. So later on in the night he comes over to me acting like nothing even happened asking for a hug and kiss and I told him to get the he!! away from me. Then he goes into this speech of how I am acting as if I caught him cheating and to save this behavior for when he does start to cheat.erplexed

Thats when the shizz hit the fan and more words were thrown out and all kinds of craziness. So in the end I clock out early get in my car and drive off. I didnt want to go home so I just kept driving and driving... thinking and crying. I didn't know where I was going but I was just driving anyway

The funny thing is I printed this thread out and showed it to him. I did that because I dont know if this is a game he is playing or if he is just that simple minded but he does not see what the problem is I told him to read it and he couldn't get past the first two lines stating that I started with a lie WTF?erplexed I told him the first two lines doesn't even have anything to do with the issue at hand. I could go back and delete them and the MAIN ISSUE would still be there He didnt even attempt to read it after that.

My whole thing is (which is what I tried to explain to him from the get-go) what he is saying could very well be the truth. I get wrong number calls all the time and its no big deal BUT I have sense enough to let them know that they have the wrong number. He claims he already did that but they dont even speak English. So lets just say he IS telling the truth, why was it so hard for him to put my doubts and concerns at rest. He was fighting so hard to not call that number back when I first asked him. But comes back later and tells me he'll do it I asked my male cousin about that and he said after my BF walked away after I told him to call he probably did go and call the number and tell the person not to pick up cuz thats what he did when one of his ex GF put him on the spot like that

I feel so numb right now and I have the biggest migraine!!! I'm sure he is going to try to come over soon but I do not want to be here. My class doesn't start until 2PM so I guess I'll just chill out on campus until then.

Thank you so much again guys. I love and appreciate you all so much.

 

[gabulldawg]

OP your post made me SO UPSET because I was you a couple of years ago. My ex pulled the same crap on me and I was so naive that I believed his bull. I put up with his lies and excuses way too long. One day I finally decided enough was enough and I left and never looked back. It took me some time, but I finally did it. I know it's hard for you to walk away, because he will do and say any and everything to stop you. He will come up with lies/excuses that are believable. But like you said, if what he said was true then why not do what he had to do to make you feel better? I remember saying the same things to my ex many many times.

I know it's easier said than done, but you know what's up and you know what you've gotta do to keep your sanity. It was really hard for me to walk away. My ex was my first boyfriend. We were together for about 4 years. I thought we were getting married. But it's gotta be done.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide. I wouldn't wish that type of treatment on my worst enemy.

 

[chelseatiara]

he's cheating and trying to make it seem like you are the shady one. dump him and/or get the number and call the women and ask her if she is seeing so-and-so. A wrong number doesnt call repeatly for months.

 

[HoneyA]

My mother used to tell me that the worse thing you could have around you is a liar. That stuck with me and it is that sort of behaviour just turns me off of a man. I really just want you to tell him to f off and not ever contact you again. You sticking around putting up with his mess all the time making him think he's the ish and you are chopped liver. Please...No you are way better than that.

 

[Honi]

Don't feel bad. Many women ignore the signs but continue to hope and pray for the best. Don't look for a bright side this time. He did it once and you took him back and I'm guessing he will expect it again when it comes out....and it will. He will expect it because you love him right? Question is when will you realize what your self worth is. You don't deserve to live that way, feel insecure or feel any kind of way when you catch him talking on the phone wondering who it is he's talking to. You will always wonder about him.....you deserve so much better sis. Who wants to live that way?

Deleting the call log and then handing you the phone....he should have just shouted hey I'm guilty and got it over with. Seriously, who does that?

A womans instinct never lies. That ping you're getting is TRUTH. A man with something to hide would never behave that way and try to make you feel guilty about it. He was testing where your head was at which is why he asked for the hug and kiss.

Stop trying to prove what you already know. Stop trying to make him call the number.
Why is it when a man cheats he tries to flip it on the woman that she is cheating? For example...I have a cousin who is dating...wait was dating a man of 11 years and she recently found out she had chlamydia. He got mad and told her she was cheating on him. Just wow!

 

[awhyley]

He's cheating. That's why he was so hot about you not answering his 4 phone calls. He's projecting his own dishonesty upon you.

You KNOW that's right!

So later on in the night he comes over to me acting like nothing even happened asking for a hug and kiss and I told him to get the he!! away from me. Then he goes into this speech of how I am acting as if I caught him cheating and to save this behavior for when he does start to cheat.erplexed

Do you really need to know anything else? That's pretty much the last straw right there. Its rather unfortunate that you work together as well, because to truly get rid of him, you might have to switch shifts.

So lets just say he IS telling the truth, why was it so hard for him to put my doubts and concerns at rest. He was fighting so hard to not call that number back when I first asked him. But comes back later and tells me he'll do it

It's cause he's not telling the truth and you know it.

A womans instinct never lies. That ping you're getting is TRUTH. A man with something to hide would never behave that way and try to make you feel guilty about it. He was testing where your head was at which is why he asked for the hug and kiss.

Ditto, (and dang about that chlamydia story).

 

[DDTexlaxed]

You deserve better. Don't let the 2 years of this relationship make you feel like you need to stay with him. You know he's cheating because what woman would call his phone continually if nothing was going on. Even a trick wouldn't put up with that. Actually, it's not funny because you are hurting and reaching out. You deserve better. You must believe that and act on it. What is worse is you don't want to be around him or go home. You can do bad by yourself.

 

[Theo]

He's cheating, and its so obvious.

Break up with him and don't talk to him about the subject anymore b/c he's just going to make you doubt yourself even more.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this, and I know its hard to walk away from someone you care about, but you have to love yourself more.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I'm sorry for what you're experiencing OP, but everything you've mentioned about your SO shows signs of cheating or some type of deception. He's now playing mind games with you, trying to make you be the crazy one.

You said he cheated once before. I know there's the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater", but his actions are making you suspicious. And if he was concerned about you, he would be making sure that he put no doubt in your mind that he would do this again--he failed.

Obviously, you don't trust this man. Why put yourself through that? You're developing migraines so it's now affecting your health. Listen to your intuition. You know something is not right, you know that his actions are shady--is he really worth all of that??? He's your SO not your DH, you don't deserve all that aggravation from an SO--and as long as you don't trust him, you two will never have a healthy relationship, you'll always be thinking about "who he's calling or who's he been with" That's no way to live

ETA: Please don't fall for the lie that whoever is calling him has the wrong number, but yet they keep calling. No one keeps calling a wrong number, knowing it's a wrong number.

 

[dlewis]

I didn't know you could erase your call log?

 

[gabulldawg]

I didn't know you could erase your call log?

Some phones (like mine) even allow you to delete specific calls and not the whole log.

 

[LoveisYou]

OP I think you should sit down and listen to what your intuition tells you. YOU know what happened, let your intuition be your guide.

 

[brownelovely]

You already know what's up.

This is someone he's already cheating with or trying to get to know better so he can cheat. I wouldn't be going through all that back and forth anyhow. You can tell once he acted shady about knowing whose number it was.

I'm not one to tell someone to leave but the red flags are in your face...pay attention.

 

[Makenzie]

So OP, what are you going to do?

 

[song_of_serenity]

You ok OP? Please don't subject yourself to more heartache when it's painfully obvious this time around!

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

The funny thing is I printed this thread out and showed it to him.

Say what? You did this?

Girl you gotta play the ''cool'' card. Printing a thread out, and showing a man that you're telling strangers about what's going on in your relationship and asking for advice makes you look crazy. Ok, maybe not really crazy.. but definitely emotionally unstable.

I wanna give you advice, but I feel that you're not really going to take it on board. It sounds like you NEED this man in your life. Which, ofcourse you don't. But he's got some kinda hold on you. WAKE UP!!!!

You need to shift the 'love' you got for him, onto YOU. Gurll don't you see he's doign you wrong!

Please Please be more cool. Running around with a sheet of paper, of a forum called ''long hair forum'' showing him responses about your relationship is not cute, at all.

Stop picking up his calls. Walk in work looking sexy. Keep on smiling.

....

I just duno what to say.

Smh

 

[happyjourney]

If this thread turn into another 10 pgs of advice, where in the end, the OP decides to stay and work it out, im gonna laugh...
I don't even know why you had to show him the thread. You're not gonna get validation or an 'epiphany' from him by showing it to him. All that energy wasted was so not necessary. I know you're hurt right now, but you need to put your game face on, and keep it moving.
BUT, I know how these threads usually turn out in the end soooo...all i gotta say is "do YOU ma!"

 

[SexySin985]

Hi ladies I'm still here

Once again, thank you all so much for your questions, comments, and concerns. I love you guys so much

I know what I need to do ladies and I knew what I needed to do before making this thread.... But sometimes I just need to hear (read) things for it to really HIT me if you know what I mean. I guess this was one of those times.....

I've been on my days off for the past couple of days and in those days put in for a transfer which it looks like I'm going to get.

Its funny cuz I was NEVER like this.. Usually I would have been the first one in a girlfriends face telling her everything you all are telling me This behavior was beyond unacceptable for any other man I dated in the past and I would be out so fast that they didnt even have time to explain themselves. I dunno what made me do/act differently this time arounderplexed

But anyways, the year is coming to an end soon and I REFUSE to start of a new year with confusion, heartache, drama, and pain. I know I deserve better

Thankx again ladies for all the love and support! You all are the BEST

 

[LilMissRed]

Im sorry OP. yes.. hes cheating :/

 

[Honi]

I'm glad you've accepted it. It's a step in the right direction and I congratulate you. I know it must be hard but you managed to get the strength to move. Good for you!

Now do you and take care.

 

[MzLady78]

Hi ladies I'm still here

Once again, thank you all so much for your questions, comments, and concerns. I love you guys so much

I know what I need to do ladies and I knew what I needed to do before making this thread.... But sometimes I just need to hear (read) things for it to really HIT me if you know what I mean. I guess this was one of those times.....

I've been on my days off for the past couple of days and in those days put in for a transfer which it looks like I'm going to get.

Its funny cuz I was NEVER like this.. Usually I would have been the first one in a girlfriends face telling her everything you all are telling me This behavior was beyond unacceptable for any other man I dated in the past and I would be out so fast that they didnt even have time to explain themselves. I dunno what made me do/act differently this time arounderplexedBut anyways, the year is coming to an end soon and I REFUSE to start of a new year with confusion, heartache, drama, and pain. I know I deserve better

Thankx again ladies for all the love and support! You all are the BEST

I think that most of us have had at least person in our lives that we let get away with things nobody else probably would, I wouldn't beat yourself up too much over that.

All that matters now is that you recognize you deserve better and that you're taking the steps to move on to bigger and better things.

 

[winterinatl]

sneaking stupid cheater.

Run.

 

[winterinatl]

Thaknx ladies..... I truly appreciate all your responses

I guess it does seem pretty obvious what the deal is I guess I just need to hear it from someone else...
The thing is I let what I thought was going on get the best of me at times and turned out to be wrong.....
Like I told him he may not be sleeping with anyone but at the very least he must be hiding something... Why else would you purposely delete the call history and put me through hell and follow me around when I ask to hold your phone.....

I told him I could explain this same situation to anyone else and they would see why i'm upset...He tries hard to convince me that I'm the one that's crazy.. That's what I constantly get called when I come to him about anything he's doin...

Sometimes it takes relaying the story, either by writing it down or calling a friend, to see it in front of you. There is something about the way we simplify a story down to it's basic elements in order to tell someone else, that does just that...strips it down to the MOST IMPORTANT FACTS, which you have done here.

Now you see the facts down in black in white, it's kind of hard to escape them, isn't it? Our input isn't even needed, I suspect.

 

[song_of_serenity]

I hope you stick to your guns and don't allow him to sweet talk you into taking him back. Guy is putting you at risk (as well as your sanity.)

 

[Ms Red]

Once you realize that you deserve better, you'll move on and cut all ties. And I pray that day happens very soon. Please go get tested as well. We're here for you.

 

[angelica2u]

He's cheating. Next.

ditto. well said, short and to the point

 

[starfish79]

I call shenanigans. On to the next one.