You can tell how someone feels about you based on who they set you up on a date with

[luvableladii]

Nah don’t settle. This reminds me of people who try to match you based on one characteristic- like he’s fat your fat- perfect match! No attention given to likes, dislikes, attractiveness, intelligence… nothing. So then you start to question their motives. Seen it many times.

I would love to be in a great relationship but the only thing I got is men not fitting my interest or attractiveness level knocking down my door. I used to get bent out of shape about it, but my father told me that men you might find unattractive tend to have no shame. Therefore, they have no qualms about reaching up to women out of their league. More stable, attractive men are more choosey so bide you time and keep doing what you’re doing.
Sorry someone who was supposed to be a friend facilitated this.

 

[caribeandiva]

it’s like easy to get caught up that maybe I can work w a dude but that’s a recipe for betrayal.

Gurl preach!! When you settle you really do get less than you settled for.

 

[Plushottie]

Gurl preach!! When you settle you really do get less than you settled for.

Always in every way and then the anger comes but it’s like you allowed this. I think many women cave because of the appearance and brow beat others who won’t conform or betray themselves. Like I will not accept your settling projections I will not confirm that for you.

 

[caribeandiva]

... I used to get bent out of shape about it, but my father told me that men you might find unattractive tend to have no shame. Therefore, they have no qualms about reaching up to women out of their league. More stable, attractive men are more choosey so bide you time and keep doing what you’re doing.
Sorry someone who was supposed to be a friend facilitated this.

Omg that makes sense! So true! Your father is a wise man indeed. And it’s not just a friend who facilitated this foolishness but a close cousin! Sometimes family be who you gotta watch out for

 

[caribeandiva]

Always in every way and then the anger comes but it’s like you allowed this. I think many women cave because of the appearance and brow beat others who won’t conform or betray themselves. Like I will not accept your settling projections I will not confirm that for you.

Right! I’ll use the guy I made this thread about as an example. I was still willing to give my cousin the benefit of the doubt about her hater ways. Maybe she saw something in him I didn’t. I agree to one phone call with the guy. The conversation was dry. The first thing he asked for was pics because “your profile pic only shows your face”. Immediately rubbed me the wrong way especially looking how he be looking. I sent him a full body pic. Then he start gushing about how hot I am. Then he kept calling me by my last name (my cousin gave him my full name) even though i kept saying use my first name. Then he talked about his family. He’s a widower still living with his in laws because they help with child care. He’s a bus driver and seems content with it. Then he asked me if I think he’s fat with a big gut. He’s insecure about that. So I was reassuring him that I don’t think he’s fat at all. So he’s insecure too on top if it! All that during the first conversation too! I blocked him. Why waste my time. So that’s why you don’t settle. I was gonna get WAY less than I deserved with this dude.

 

[Plushottie]

Right! I’ll use the guy I made this thread about as an example. I was still willing to give my cousin the benefit of the doubt about her hater ways. Maybe she saw something in him I didn’t. I agree to one phone call with the guy. The conversation was dry. The first thing he asked for was pics because “your profile pic only shows your face”. Immediately rubbed me the wrong way especially looking how he be looking. I sent him a full body pic. Then he start gushing about how hot I am. Then he kept calling me by my last name (my cousin gave him my full name) even though i kept saying use my first name. Then he talked about his family. He’s a widower still living with his in laws because they help with child care. He’s a bus driver and seems content with it. Then he asked me if I think he’s fat with a big gut. He’s insecure about that. So I was reassuring him that I don’t think he’s fat at all. So he’s insecure too on top if it! All that during the first conversation too! I blocked him. Why waste my time. So that’s why you don’t settle. I was gonna get WAY less than I deserved with this dude.

I wish I knew you in real life because this is a phone call for my response. It’s like no there’s more lol. Like you insecure and projecting yet still fixed your lips to ask about me and you have no drive how sir!?!

 

[caribeandiva]

I wish I knew you in real life because this is a phone call for my response. It’s like no there’s more lol. Like you insecure and projecting yet still fixed your lips to ask about me and you have no drive how sir!?!View attachment 482053

Exactly!! Make it make sense!! Hence why we keep saying don’t settle!! You’ll get a whole bunch of nonsense, abuse and cheating! The person you settle for never treats you like the prize that you are. They treat you like trash.

 

[blessedandfavoured]

Right! I’ll use the guy I made this thread about as an example. I was still willing to give my cousin the benefit of the doubt about her hater ways. Maybe she saw something in him I didn’t. I agree to one phone call with the guy. The conversation was dry. The first thing he asked for was pics because “your profile pic only shows your face”. Immediately rubbed me the wrong way especially looking how he be looking. I sent him a full body pic. Then he start gushing about how hot I am. Then he kept calling me by my last name (my cousin gave him my full name) even though i kept saying use my first name. Then he talked about his family. He’s a widower still living with his in laws because they help with child care. He’s a bus driver and seems content with it. Then he asked me if I think he’s fat with a big gut. He’s insecure about that. So I was reassuring him that I don’t think he’s fat at all. So he’s insecure too on top if it! All that during the first conversation too! I blocked him. Why waste my time. So that’s why you don’t settle. I was gonna get WAY less than I deserved with this dude.

So much wrong in such a short amount of time.
Your cousin ain't right for this.
And this man needs to leave his entitlement and insecurity behind if he hopes to move forward, lol. Already hyper-focussed on your appearance and using your energy to boost his ego. To top it off, ignoring your clear instruction about how to address you.
Nah, son, find yourself a therapist's office.
Glad you saw the signs and moved along @caribeandiva.

 

[Browndilocks]

That happened to me before. Somebody tried to fix me up with this guy who is kind of a small time celebrity. Only problem is he was newly divorced from a WM who called the police on him.... etc etc etc I guess he saw the error of his ways and wanted to stick to his kind after clear gal put him thru the wringer. I learned about his divorce on our first date and I was beyond insulted. Googled it and was even more insulted. He's ugly too. Humph.