Help With A Friend. His Date Won’t Speak To Him On The Phone Due To Trauma

Mai Tai said:
I see absolutely nothing wrong with the bolded. He is not entitled to her time, endless text conversations, and unsolicited FaceTime is a huge invasion of privacy.

You seem more concerned about this then he does evidence by his defense of her.

He doesn't need help he (or you) needs boundaries.
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OMG someone did this to me and it was the biggest turn off. No text beforehand to let me know he was FaceTime-ing and I hadn't heard from him in week. Plus I was at work
 
I do not participate in video chatting and seldom texting. Id rather see you in person or talk on the phone. Its hard for folks to understand because this is the social media era. Lucky for me any new people I meet accept me for me when they know I dont have Facebook , Instagram or any social media pages.
 
Kinda sounds like the ex boyfriend is still in the picture and she can’t pick up because she is with him.♀️. She playing games.
 
pinkness27 said:
I have a friend whos bf’s second gf stalked her. She won’t answer phones and texts. She puts the phone and text apps on the second page of her iPhone where she doesn’t visit.

We communicate via GroupMe and email lol. It’s the only form of commicaton she’ll respond to. But she is normal in person.

I’m sure they can find a compromise.
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What if the text is from someone she knows like a friend or relative and saved on her phone ? I don’t understand this can’t people block numbers or change it ??
 
Kindheart said:
What if the text is from someone she knows like a friend or relative and saved on her phone ? I don’t understand this can’t people block numbers or change it ??
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The stalker would use an app to generate new numbers so I think she got tired of blocking numbers. She did change numbers and it didn’t help in her case bc the stalker has the shared bfs password so she checks phone bill records. She should just get rid of the man, but that is a whole diff issue lol.
 
pinkness27 said:
The stalker would use an app to generate new numbers so I think she got tired of blocking numbers. She did change numbers and it didn’t help in her case bc the stalker has the shared bfs password so she checks phone bill records. She should just get rid of the man, but that is a whole diff issue lol.
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He sounds really sick in the head .Couldn’t she change password ? Surely there must be a way ,if the number and provider changes he shouldn’t be able to check her phone bill . Just thinking
 
nyeredzi said:
Is it that she doesn't want to talk for long periods of time, or she can't talk at all? Like not even to arrange in person meetings?
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She doesn’t want to speak on the phone at all . They met up once then she went on holiday for 2 weeks I don’t know wether they arrange anything . When I asked him how’s things he replied “50/50 dating confuses me”. *shrug.*
 
Kindheart said:
She doesn’t want to speak on the phone at all . They met up once then she went on holiday for 2 weeks I don’t know wether they arrange anything . When I asked him how’s things he replied “50/50 dating confuses me”. *shrug.*
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Does he ask to meet her via text and she doesn’t reply? How do they arrange to meet? I’m kind of confused on the logistics.
 
nyeredzi said:
Does he ask to meet her via text and she doesn’t reply? How do they arrange to meet? I’m kind of confused on the logistics.
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I assume by text .she does text however when they have conversations via text she disappears for hours in the middle of it
 
Kindheart said:
I assume by text .she does text however when they have conversations via text she disappears for hours in the middle of it
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She may be flighty. He just needs to let that go. She just isn’t a match for him. There are plenty of women that like to run their mouths on the phone and text for hours. I believe him holding on is a challenge to his ego. Whatever is going on with homegirl, she isn’t very engaging.
 
Kindheart said:
He sounds really sick in the head .Couldn’t she change password ? Surely there must be a way ,if the number and provider changes he shouldn’t be able to check her phone bill . Just thinking
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So the stalker logs into the boy’s cell phone company website and gets my friends info. He won’t change the log pw and so the stalker can easily find my friend’s number.
 
Mai Tai said:
Wait...Who is the "the boy"? Why is your friend still talking to "the boy" if she knows that the stalker is hacking his account to gain her contact info. I'm so confused.
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Lol ok so my friend is dating a guy. This guys is dating my friend and another woman. The other woman gets my friend’s number because she has the guy’s passwords for his phone company login. She then calls and texts my friends things like her feet on the guy’s bed, etc.

I don’t know why my friend continues to date this guy, because she has proof from the other women that he’s clearly seeing the both of them.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
I've read this nonsense of a situation and it sounds like to me that dude just likes the chase. The minute this woman gives him the time of day he's going to lose interest.
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This.

I wouldn't want to have full on conversations via text during the dating stage either. I don't see what's weird about her "disappearing" from those convos, especially at their age.

Soon as she starts calling or texting back, he'll ghost her.
 
pinkness27 said:
Lol ok so my friend is dating a guy. This guys is dating my friend and another woman. The other woman gets my friend’s number because she has the guy’s passwords for his phone company login. She then calls and texts my friends things like her feet on the guy’s bed, etc.

I don’t know why my friend continues to date this guy, because she has proof from the other women that he’s clearly seeing the both of them.
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Ahhhhh...I see. The stalker is a girl. I assumed that your friend's stalker was a crazed ex-boyfriend or something. My bad.

Yeah, your friend is playing with fire and she needs to cut this dude ASAP!
 
Last edited:
Oh naa saying what you said totally changed my mind about her. I was feelin her until the recent posts. If she doesn't talk to him at all on the phone there's something going on. It's not just anxiety. If you feeling someone no matter how anxious you are you wanna talk to them on the phone at least occasionally. It's all about how much are you willing to give to me. You don't want to talk to me at all. RED FLAG!!!! Def he needs to keep his options open. I also agree he's prob into the chase. LOTS of men just want what they can't have. It's exciting to pursue and be pursued sometimes but that's all games. Nothing ever comes from it. Sometimes people keep that dynamic alive simply for ego. Nothing more. But we're all just speculating from the limited information we have. They know what's up if they're real with themselves. It reminds me of my fave quote from Maya Angelou let people show you who they are and believe them.
 
Kindheart said:
Nah he doesn’t feel entitled her to answer its the lack of acknowledgement and not calling back that baffled him. Normally if someone calls you d say something alonge the lines “sorry I missed your call I was busy “ or just call back without texting. It’s out of politeness . The only times people don’t do that is when they don’t care about the person calling I can’t reach that conclusion as I don’t know the woman.
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I got cha. She may not be single. Your male friend may be the semi-side dude and not know it or she may not be very interested.

I'm not really a phone person so it's nothing for me to drop a text conversation for hours (sometimes days), plus I'm super busy as well, BUT, if I just can't or don't want to continue texting I'll say something like "Hey! Been super busy. Let's grab coffee sometime and catch up." The ONLY people who always get a reply or call back is my husband and parents. Everyone else knows that unless someone is dying, I respond on my time. :lachen::lachen:
 
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