Kindheart
Well-Known Member
How do you think women have changed ? I like your analysis on men ,quite spot on .i know people in their late 30 s who never had a relationship longer than a year
Yesterday's Men ...a Spinoff ...somewhat.
- Thread starter ChasingBliss
- Start date
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
Truthfully I think they are trying to keep up with these new mitchmade men. They have gotten so caught up that they don't see that theyre not playing the game...the game is playing them. No matter how tough we think we are, we are still receptacles...meaning we are on the receiving end in some cases the dumping ground. We have to take better care of our minds spirits and bodies. Call me a pessimist but it seems like love is leaving us. This new society is being built on narcissism and selfishness.
I don't think women should do this. I think it's just a hookup thing. I'm sure there are some good ones out there and everyone has an online love story but I'm not a fan.
He's lazy and doesn't want to competeDefine heauxish? I told one of my male friends that I date multiple men at a time and he almost called me a heauxDidn't say it explicitly, but implied at the time. He's more traditional than most though when it comes to dating.
Repeat this over and over. And again.
bubbles12345
Well-Known Member
I won't define
but I wouldn't consider dating multiple men heauxish.I'll just say that I'm going to need for my friends to stop offering sex, home cooked meals, money, gifts, car rides, children, childcare, and homes to stay in so easily to men who don't put in any effort and refuse to commit to them if they are looking for a relationship. And then complain about why don't men want to marry me.
F in up the game for all.
thatscuteright
Well-Known Member
Very true. They don't have any respect for women, because they don't even respect themselves.
janiebaby
Well-Known Member
I'm not a fan either but for reasons outside of the whole hookup thing. Most couples I meet these days have met online.
naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
He's lazy and doesn't want to compete
I'm all for dating multiple men at once....not sex but dating. The ones who only want sex will generally fall away pretty quickly.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
I know several couples who all met via online and are still married...but they are all white folks as well. K
Covagirlm
CGB
Yup. My supervisor met her fiance on Tinder .
Kindheart
Well-Known Member
I totally agree ,you re being realistic . Everybody seems to be disposable nowadays ,everything is focused on looks and money .
naturalmanenyc
Well-Known Member
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...the-person-who-will-help-you-to-the-bathroom/
Marry the person who will help you to the bathroom
By Neely Steinberg
November 5, 2015
I met Dave on Match.com five years ago. Two years later, we were married. A year and a half after that, we welcomed the most beautiful creature onto the planet: a baby girl we named Stella. I delivered Stella via Cesarean section, an insignificant detail except for the fact that the experience deepened my love for my husband.
Recovery from a C-section isn’t pleasant. Managing the pain requires several days of constant medications; for the first couple of days, you urinate through a catheter. When the catheter is removed, so begin the wild adventures of getting into the bathroom and onto the toilet. One of the nurses dutifully helped me take my first trek while my husband was sleeping inches away, contorted on a pull-out chair-sofa. For the remainder of our hospital stay, Dave was the one, often in the wee hours of the night, who helped me navigate across the cold, sterile floor to the restroom.
I’ll never forget the way Dave helped me into the bathroom and onto the toilet. Taking my hands as I rolled myself out of bed, he repeated the words, “slooooow, deliberate.” Walking to the bathroom at a snail’s pace, “slooooow, deliberate.” Taking down my granny panty hospital underwear to reveal an enormous bloody pad and helping me onto the toilet, my face twisting into all sorts of anguished shapes, he repeated: “sloooow, deliberate.” Watching me pee, wipe, stand, flush the toilet, he helped me back into bed, “slooooow, deliberate.”
At the time, I thought: This is why I married this man. Not for his fabulous head of hair or his beautiful, light-brown eyes — though those things were certainly bonuses. But no. It was his gentleness, his thoughtfulness, his loving heart, his caring nature that sealed the deal for me.
As a dating coach who works with singles in their 20s to 50s, I see a lot of people focusing on superficial things that have little to do with a potential partner’s character. I get it — I once obsessed over those things, too.
Most of all, I see how the trap of chemistry can lead people astray. Chemistry is important, but as far as relationships go, it’s only half the equation.
So how do you look for these deeper, more important qualities in the early stages of dating? Some might argue there’s no way to tell in, say, the first several months of dating someone — after all, it is the honeymoon stage — if this is the type of person who will help you onto the toilet during times of trial. I disagree.
Looking back to the early days of dating Dave, all the signs were there. He treated my friends with care and kindness, which showed me he had the ability to be compassionate. The way he scoured the Internet for the perfect gifts for my parents and nephews showed me his thoughtful, generous side. He rubbed my back and wiped my tears after I suffered a heart-wrenching squash match loss, showing me that validating my feelings was important to him (even if I’m the most competitive person alive and it was just a squash match). He listened to me vent after a difficult fallout with a colleague, showing me he was ready and willing to be a part of my support system.
When he stayed up until the early hours of the morning, helping me with Web site issues relating to my coaching business, I knew I’d found someone who would support me in my professional goals as well as physically and emotionally. When he held my hands and said “We’ll figure it out” while I was dealing with a frustrating medical situation, that was probably my biggest clue that he’d be so supportive in that hospital room years down the line.
Singles should keep their eyes open for these signs. They’re more telling than a person’s job, salary, ambition or education; whether he or she is the “right age”; has the perfect body; or can dazzle you with their charm and wit.
Keep your eyes open for the type of person who one day might lovingly help you onto the toilet.
Marry the person who will help you to the bathroom
By Neely Steinberg
November 5, 2015
I met Dave on Match.com five years ago. Two years later, we were married. A year and a half after that, we welcomed the most beautiful creature onto the planet: a baby girl we named Stella. I delivered Stella via Cesarean section, an insignificant detail except for the fact that the experience deepened my love for my husband.
Recovery from a C-section isn’t pleasant. Managing the pain requires several days of constant medications; for the first couple of days, you urinate through a catheter. When the catheter is removed, so begin the wild adventures of getting into the bathroom and onto the toilet. One of the nurses dutifully helped me take my first trek while my husband was sleeping inches away, contorted on a pull-out chair-sofa. For the remainder of our hospital stay, Dave was the one, often in the wee hours of the night, who helped me navigate across the cold, sterile floor to the restroom.
I’ll never forget the way Dave helped me into the bathroom and onto the toilet. Taking my hands as I rolled myself out of bed, he repeated the words, “slooooow, deliberate.” Walking to the bathroom at a snail’s pace, “slooooow, deliberate.” Taking down my granny panty hospital underwear to reveal an enormous bloody pad and helping me onto the toilet, my face twisting into all sorts of anguished shapes, he repeated: “sloooow, deliberate.” Watching me pee, wipe, stand, flush the toilet, he helped me back into bed, “slooooow, deliberate.”
At the time, I thought: This is why I married this man. Not for his fabulous head of hair or his beautiful, light-brown eyes — though those things were certainly bonuses. But no. It was his gentleness, his thoughtfulness, his loving heart, his caring nature that sealed the deal for me.
As a dating coach who works with singles in their 20s to 50s, I see a lot of people focusing on superficial things that have little to do with a potential partner’s character. I get it — I once obsessed over those things, too.
Most of all, I see how the trap of chemistry can lead people astray. Chemistry is important, but as far as relationships go, it’s only half the equation.
So how do you look for these deeper, more important qualities in the early stages of dating? Some might argue there’s no way to tell in, say, the first several months of dating someone — after all, it is the honeymoon stage — if this is the type of person who will help you onto the toilet during times of trial. I disagree.
Looking back to the early days of dating Dave, all the signs were there. He treated my friends with care and kindness, which showed me he had the ability to be compassionate. The way he scoured the Internet for the perfect gifts for my parents and nephews showed me his thoughtful, generous side. He rubbed my back and wiped my tears after I suffered a heart-wrenching squash match loss, showing me that validating my feelings was important to him (even if I’m the most competitive person alive and it was just a squash match). He listened to me vent after a difficult fallout with a colleague, showing me he was ready and willing to be a part of my support system.
When he stayed up until the early hours of the morning, helping me with Web site issues relating to my coaching business, I knew I’d found someone who would support me in my professional goals as well as physically and emotionally. When he held my hands and said “We’ll figure it out” while I was dealing with a frustrating medical situation, that was probably my biggest clue that he’d be so supportive in that hospital room years down the line.
Singles should keep their eyes open for these signs. They’re more telling than a person’s job, salary, ambition or education; whether he or she is the “right age”; has the perfect body; or can dazzle you with their charm and wit.
Keep your eyes open for the type of person who one day might lovingly help you onto the toilet.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...the-person-who-will-help-you-to-the-bathroom/
Marry the person who will help you to the bathroom
By Neely Steinberg
November 5, 2015
I met Dave on Match.com five years ago. Two years later, we were married. A year and a half after that, we welcomed the most beautiful creature onto the planet: a baby girl we named Stella. I delivered Stella via Cesarean section, an insignificant detail except for the fact that the experience deepened my love for my husband.
Recovery from a C-section isn’t pleasant. Managing the pain requires several days of constant medications; for the first couple of days, you urinate through a catheter. When the catheter is removed, so begin the wild adventures of getting into the bathroom and onto the toilet. One of the nurses dutifully helped me take my first trek while my husband was sleeping inches away, contorted on a pull-out chair-sofa. For the remainder of our hospital stay, Dave was the one, often in the wee hours of the night, who helped me navigate across the cold, sterile floor to the restroom.
I’ll never forget the way Dave helped me into the bathroom and onto the toilet. Taking my hands as I rolled myself out of bed, he repeated the words, “slooooow, deliberate.” Walking to the bathroom at a snail’s pace, “slooooow, deliberate.” Taking down my granny panty hospital underwear to reveal an enormous bloody pad and helping me onto the toilet, my face twisting into all sorts of anguished shapes, he repeated: “sloooow, deliberate.” Watching me pee, wipe, stand, flush the toilet, he helped me back into bed, “slooooow, deliberate.”
At the time, I thought: This is why I married this man. Not for his fabulous head of hair or his beautiful, light-brown eyes — though those things were certainly bonuses. But no. It was his gentleness, his thoughtfulness, his loving heart, his caring nature that sealed the deal for me.
As a dating coach who works with singles in their 20s to 50s, I see a lot of people focusing on superficial things that have little to do with a potential partner’s character. I get it — I once obsessed over those things, too.
Most of all, I see how the trap of chemistry can lead people astray. Chemistry is important, but as far as relationships go, it’s only half the equation.
So how do you look for these deeper, more important qualities in the early stages of dating? Some might argue there’s no way to tell in, say, the first several months of dating someone — after all, it is the honeymoon stage — if this is the type of person who will help you onto the toilet during times of trial. I disagree.
Looking back to the early days of dating Dave, all the signs were there. He treated my friends with care and kindness, which showed me he had the ability to be compassionate. The way he scoured the Internet for the perfect gifts for my parents and nephews showed me his thoughtful, generous side. He rubbed my back and wiped my tears after I suffered a heart-wrenching squash match loss, showing me that validating my feelings was important to him (even if I’m the most competitive person alive and it was just a squash match). He listened to me vent after a difficult fallout with a colleague, showing me he was ready and willing to be a part of my support system.
When he stayed up until the early hours of the morning, helping me with Web site issues relating to my coaching business, I knew I’d found someone who would support me in my professional goals as well as physically and emotionally. When he held my hands and said “We’ll figure it out” while I was dealing with a frustrating medical situation, that was probably my biggest clue that he’d be so supportive in that hospital room years down the line.
Singles should keep their eyes open for these signs. They’re more telling than a person’s job, salary, ambition or education; whether he or she is the “right age”; has the perfect body; or can dazzle you with their charm and wit.
Keep your eyes open for the type of person who one day might lovingly help you onto the toilet.
This is all very sweet and beautiful (and how it should be), my SO is the same way with me. Super caring and supportive and so his family.
I know the heaux life is celebrated on here but I blame women.
Half my single female friends always complaining about how men suck and don't want to date or commit... yet they are contributing to the problem with their heauxish ways.
Don't make no sense. Smh
This is why I had to make a promise to myself to stop sexing any guy that I wasn't in a relationship with. Like @keyawarren said in another thread, can't complain about the bad aspects of today's dating culture if I'm knowingly contributing to it
Kindheart
Well-Known Member
Personally I think it's all about chemistry and shared values ,I met many "nice guys " in my life but sometimes it doesn't really matter how kind and thoughtful they are if you don't have any chemistry ,you just won't click . The needy ones who were too into me annoyed me .
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I love goody type guys. There are loads of them around but they often get put into the friendzone because of lack of chemistry.
I did try to make a LTR work with a guy that was just "nice" when I was younger and I wouldn't do that again. The physical attraction does have to be there also for me.
Always~Wear~Joy
Well-Known Member
Those are the ones that make the good husbands.
I do too. And they're white
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
LOL Im only laughing because her delivery is funny as hell but the situation damn sure is not. I actually feel sad because I just showed this to my daughter and she said the girl put PERFECTLY how she feels about men and life. She is 25 by the way.
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
Yes I will never forget the sentiment expressed by the elder women in my family. Marry the man who loves you more than you love him. That relationship works better. There was even an article about which relationships works best. It does not tend to work out when the woman loves the man more than he loves her. There is a lot to this reasoning but I think you all can see why this arrangement works best.
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