Yesterday's Men ...a Spinoff ...somewhat.

[ChasingBliss]

I really miss the guys of yesterday. I'm talking about the guys from the late 80s, 90's and very very early 2000s.

I watch how these guys today behave and I'm telling you they are the new age mitches. Im so happy to come from an era where dudes still chased you, begged for your number, knew a heaux from a decent girl and kept the two separated... I talk to these younger women today and many are in total distress. I am meeting 30 yr olds who confess they have never had a relationship longer than 6 months. WOW.

When I was a teen it seemed like every one of my friends had a long term relationship. My first one lasted 4 years. Hell that's all I ever knew. I could go on and on but I dont want to offend the new generation...But in my observation and the population I counsel ....things seems so dreadful.

What do you all think is the problem....or do you even see what I see?

 

[sweetvi]

I see what you see! I see it and experience it... lol

Eta: I partially blame feminism lmao

 

[janiebaby]

It's real out here. I won't blame the internet but social media and online dating have catered to men's lazy side. Men are creatures of habit, convenience, and opportunity. Not to mention the big how to get and keep a man movement that started a decade ago that made women put their desperation and hopelessness on display while encouraging them to put their pride to the side. One big recipe for disaster.

 

[ChasingBliss]

It's real out here. I won't blame the internet but social media and online dating have catered to men's lazy side. Men are creatures of habit, convenience, and opportunity. Not to mention the big how to get and keep a man movement that started a decade ago that made women put their desperation and hopelessness on display while encouraging them to put their pride to the side. One big recipe for disaster.

I totally agree with you especially the bolded.

 

[RoundEyedGirl504]

I assume the men of yesteryear raised or didn't raise the new generation so.

 

[janiebaby]

I assume the men of yesteryear raised or didn't raise the new generation so.

They did. Men (and women) are the same just the circumstances are different.

 

[LiftedUp]

Women have changed as well. The key is finding someone you're >< with and not expecting everyone you meet to be that someone.

 

[gimbap]

Yesterday's men didn't have things social media, Tinder. Now some men feel like they don't have to chase you, beg for your number. They get on their smart phones and slide into DMs, swipe right, etc. Bam. New booty.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Women have changed as well. The key is finding someone you're >< with and not expecting everyone you meet to be that someone.

Yes I see women have changed too. But if things were so simple, there would not be so many complaints. For many it seems easier said than done.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I don't agree with everything he said since I've seen older couples get married but he does make some good points.

 

[ChasingBliss]

I don't agree with everything he said since I've seen older couples get married but he does make some good points.

Yes....I saw this in another thread the other day. There were a few things he said that I couldnt co sign either..but he was making some very good point for the most part.

 

[Kurlee]

I really miss the guys of yesterday. I'm talking about the guys from the late 80s, 90's and very very early 2000s.

I watch how these guys today behave and I'm telling you they are the new age mitches. Im so happy to come from an era where dudes still chased you, begged for your number, knew a heaux from a decent girl and kept the two separated... I talk to these younger women today and many are in total distress. I am meeting 30 yr olds who confess they have never had a relationship longer than 6 months. WOW.

When I was a teen it seemed like every one of my friends had a long term relationship. My first one lasted 4 years. Hell that's all I ever knew. I could go on and on but I dont want to offend the new generation...But in my observation and the population I counsel ....things seems so dreadful.

What do you all think is the problem....or do you even see what I see?

Girl . . . . . . I belong to the "new and young" generation (millennials) you described and uhh . . . . yeah, why do you think I make threads about alternatives for BW? They all can't dry up or sign up to be abused/mistreated. Of course, there are still some good dudes out there, but umm.. . . . yeah . Posters (mostly already married and got the last of the mohicans), just don't get get it. The game done changed and a woman can be as smart and crafty as she wants to be–it doesn't make a difference. 'Tis all.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Girl . . . . . . I belong to the generation you described and uhh . . . . yeah, why do you think I make threads about alternatives for BW? They all can't dry up or sign up to be abused/mistreated. Of course, there are still some good dudes out there, but umm.. . . . yeah . Posters (mostly already married and got the last of the mohicans), just don't get get it. The game done changed and a woman can be as smart and crafty as she wants to be–it doesn't make a difference. 'Tis all.

I too am married and DH and I talk about this all the time. We both are from that generation and you'd have to be blind not to see what is happening these days...married or not. His younger male cousins are all apart of the new mitchmade age and he says trying to school them is a waste of time. I have a cousin in his 30s who told me he cant find a good woman...in the same breath he said he has never in his life tried to approach one and wouldnt think of it because he is use to them chasing him...smh

 

[Evolving78]

It's real out here. I won't blame the internet but social media and online dating have catered to men's lazy side. Men are creatures of habit, convenience, and opportunity. Not to mention the big how to get and keep a man movement that started a decade ago that made women put their desperation and hopelessness on display while encouraging them to put their pride to the side. One big recipe for disaster.

Amen!

 

[LiftedUp]

Yes I see women have changed too. But if things were so simple, there would not be so many complaints. For many it seems easier said than done.

I think those men existed back in the day as well it's just that many women think that they either cannot do better or have to settle and therefore give in to men who they think that they can change. Society is telling women, go to school, get a career, conquer the world while their innate desire to start a family and settle down is still there. How are both to coexist? It's difficult, especially if you weren't taught that. Also, owing to inflation, the job market, economic crises, an aging workplace etc., men are taking longer to acquire assets now that they would acquire by 24. Do you wait till you're 30 to acquire assets before proposing to your girlfriend? Do you even have a girlfriend knowing that you that she would expect commitment before you can provide what you are able to etc.?

There are a lot of factors to consider. That's why I'm saying, if you're not ><, move on to someone else who can provide what you want to provide. Don't expect every man to be the man you want. Also do not be afraid to be single until you find that guy.

 

[ChasingBliss]

I think those men existed back in the day as well it's just that many women think that they either cannot do better or have to settle and therefore give in to men who they think that they can change. Society is telling women, go to school, get a career, conquer the world while their innate desire to start a family and settle down is still there. How are both to coexist? It's difficult, especially if you weren't taught that. Also, owing to inflation, the job market, economic crises, an aging workplace etc., men are taking longer to acquire assets now that they would acquire by 24. Do you wait till you're 30 to acquire assets before proposing to your girlfriend? Do you even have a girlfriend knowing that you that she would expect commitment before you can provide what you are able to etc.?

There are a lot of factors to consider. That's why I'm saying, if you're not ><, move on to someone else who can provide what you want to provide. Don't expect every man to be the man you want. Also do not be afraid to be single until you find that guy.

Great points. To accomplish this will mean strong self reflection, knowing what you want nad not settling for less. These are some of the things I tell many young women and some men in my work.

 

[barbiesocialite]

Women have changed as well. The key is finding someone you're >< with and not expecting everyone you meet to be that someone.

This was exactly my response to the discussion

 

[Kurlee]

I too am married and DH and I talk about this all the time. We both are from that generation and you'd have to be blind not to see what is happening these days...married or not. His younger male cousins are all apart of the new mitchmade age and he says trying to school them is a waste of time. I have a cousin in his 30s who told me he cant find a good woman...in the same breath he said he has never in his life tried to approach one and wouldnt think of it because he is use to them chasing him...smh

see what i mean?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

 

[ChasingBliss]

Sad...although this sentiment is not necessarily my experience, I understand.

 

[thatscuteright]

They are both saying the same thing, the foreign man is just more eloquent with it.

 

[Supervixen]

Nothing new under the sun. Fcukbois have beeen around FOREVER (insert CardiB swag). There are a lot more now and fcukboi **** has become more accepted, so they do more of it.

I feel for the Millenials post 1982.

 

[sweetvi]

Yesterday's men didn't have things social media, Tinder. Now some men feel like they don't have to chase you, beg for your number. They get on their smart phones and slide into DMs, swipe right, etc. Bam. New booty.

You be surprised how many women are on these sites to get a fix as well. So I guess both genders have changed as well

 

[sweetvi]

Perfect example of what these girls are going through:

https://instagram.com/p/BHIsYTiA5dn/


Reading the comments below shows how these kids think its funny smh.

 

[yardyspice]

They are both saying the same thing, the foreign man is just more eloquent with it.

They aren't....

ETA: while the intentions may be the same, the delivery is not. The delivery matters IMO because you can tell the level of respect someone has for you by the way they speak to you.

 

[yardyspice]

You be surprised how many women are on these sites to get a fix as well. So I guess both genders have changed as well

Women (all) need to say no to online dating.

 

[bubbles12345]

I know the heaux life is celebrated on here but I blame women.

Half my single female friends always complaining about how men suck and don't want to date or commit... yet they are contributing to the problem with their heauxish ways.

Don't make no sense. Smh

 

[greight]

I know the heaux life is celebrated on here but I blame women.

Half my single female friends always complaining about how men suck and don't want to date or commit... yet they are contributing to the problem with their heauxish ways.

Don't make no sense. Smh

Define heauxish? I told one of my male friends that I date multiple men at a time and he almost called me a heaux Didn't say it explicitly, but implied at the time. He's more traditional than most though when it comes to dating.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I think those men existed back in the day as well it's just that many women think that they either cannot do better or have to settle and therefore give in to men who they think that they can change. Society is telling women, go to school, get a career, conquer the world while their innate desire to start a family and settle down is still there. How are both to coexist? It's difficult, especially if you weren't taught that. Also, owing to inflation, the job market, economic crises, an aging workplace etc., men are taking longer to acquire assets now that they would acquire by 24. Do you wait till you're 30 to acquire assets before proposing to your girlfriend? Do you even have a girlfriend knowing that you that she would expect commitment before you can provide what you are able to etc.?

There are a lot of factors to consider. That's why I'm saying, if you're not ><, move on to someone else who can provide what you want to provide. Don't expect every man to be the man you want. Also do not be afraid to be single until you find that guy.

As my single cousin would say, "women who have a man can't tell me anything about what I need." Nobody is feeling that "God will hold you in the middle of the night" speech.

 

[yardyspice]

Define heauxish? I told one of my male friends that I date multiple men at a time and he almost called me a heaux Didn't say it explicitly, but implied at the time. He's more traditional than most though when it comes to dating.

Ignore him.