WWYD with this information?

[okange76]

Bear in mind you broke the law and you could be fired, prosecuted and fined if you are busted after an audit.

DEAR ABBY: I recently started working at the hospital where my husband receives his primary care. One afternoon, out of curiosity, I accessed his medical records. In his file it was noted that he is high risk for STDs. In fact, he was treated for two different ones some years back.I have been tested for STDs during all my annual physicals, and the results were always negative. I think it's because we often go for weeks without any sexual contact.

What should I do with this information? How do I talk to him about it without letting him know that I'm aware of his medical history? -- CONCERNED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR CONCERNED: Unless you claim to be clairvoyant, I don't see how you can discuss this without admitting you accessed his medical records, which is against the law. Be prepared for him to be irate, because the best defense is a strong offense. You are lucky your husband hasn't given you an STD.

By all means talk with him about this, if only to find out whether you have sex so infrequently because he's having relations with other people. Now that you know what has been going on, you have some serious thinking to do about staying in this marriage.

 

[Naveah2050]

I can't lie I would hop on outta that marriage if we had no kids with a quickness - high risk? No way, not today, not me...risking my life for a sexless marriage. I wish

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Time to leave no explanation necessary.

 

[SuchaLady]

She's gotta be white.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I don't know what a doctor's notes typically look like but this strikes me as odd. No mention of why he's considered high risk? Is it because of the two stds in the past? Male partners? Promiscuous?

 

[SuchaLady]

Thats what I was wondering. What exactly is high risk for STDs if neither person has one?

I don't know what a doctor's notes typically look like but this strikes me as odd. No mention of why he's considered high risk? Is it because of the two stds in the past? Male partners? Promiscuous?

 

[weaveadiva]

She and her husband go weeks without sexual contact? Po little tink-tink.

 

[LiftedUp]

From the information given, I'm going to infer that he was treated for STDs during their relationship.

Therefore, I will cite irreconcilable difference and leave. I do not owe him an explanation and I got enough information I need from him. I really don't play when it comes to infidelity.

 

[Naveah2050]

Thats what I was wondering. What exactly is high risk for STDs if neither person has one?

I read that as gay and/or promiscuous

 

[awhyley]

^^^ Yeah, the first think I thought was that he visited prostitutes frequently. Either way, its time to go.
No discussion necessary, but he's probably going to lie about it anyway, (and then accuse you of invading his privacy).

 

[Misseyl]

Wow! that's a lot of information to pretend not to know. He could have easily given her a untreatable disease. Their sex live seems to be non-existent, so I guess that's why he is cheating. Divorce is a big word, but I would check out. No need both of use getting an incurable disease.

 

[natural2008]

She and her husband go weeks without sexual contact? Po little tink-tink.

She was without he was still getting it in.

 

[Ganjababy]

I recently did this to my own self to see what they had written about me after I went to A&E. You are not even supposed to look up your own records. I hope I don't get audited.


In the above scenario being fired is the least of her problems.


One of the hospitals I worked at fired several people and disciplined several dozens after we had a famous patient. It's quite a risky thing to do.

 

[Ganjababy]

Either with men are prostitutes.

She was without he was still getting it in.

I suspect a friend of mines husband (who is a pastor) is on the DL from something similar (from stuff she has shared and things I have seen him do). I keep my mouth shut because if it's obvious to me and DH and it's not obvious to her then she does not want to see the truth.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

She doesn't want to leave. She already has all the information she needs to file for divorce citing irreconcilable differences like all the celebs do when they don't want to admit cheating. She is looking for an excuse to discuss it with him to convince her to stay in the marriage.

 

[kupenda]

But...how will the convo go? Where exactly could this relationship even go from here? This thread needs to be linked in the "how to tell if a guy is really into you" thread. Weeks without sex, but he's got std's. Sounds like a lifetime movie in the making

 

[Ivonnovi]

B o u n c e!!!!

She has the knowledge to stop compromising herself, her health, and her sanity.

 

[TayMac]

I wouldn't want to have a convo about it. I'm not sure how it would even come up. That's a HIPAA violation and you can be fired/fined for looking into medical records, including your own.

There had to be some signs of infidelity and I'd want a divorce. More than one STD? I'd be livid.

 

[Mortons]

I'd ask to look at their records. If they say no or yes doesn't matter cause then it opens the flood gates.

 

[Mortons]

Double post

 

[ms-gg]

I'm just confused.

Ok, it never says how long they have been married, BUT it says that he had STD YEARS ago. Doesn't indicate if he contracted them before or during the time they have been together.

Says that he is HIGH RISK for getting more stds...but as long as he is faithful, he won't get anymore right?

There are a lot of holes in this story so I can't make a decision based off of the information presented in the OP

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

Having a history of STDs makes you high risk. Still, he is careless.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

First of all, I work in the medical field and wouldn't do what she did. Not putting my job at risk like that.

Second, if I did find info out like this in another way, I'd just let him know we need to divorce. No discussion needed. I'd rather not be with someone who knowingly had or has a STD

 

[TwistedRoots]

My cool, calm, and collected is limited. I can't even fathom this... no comment.

However, I will say if you search hard enough you will find something that you can't explain every single time. Ignorance is bliss.

 

[BayAreaDream]

How do you become high risk?? Geesh