Would You Tell Your Sister Her Husband Is Foul?

[CurlyNiquee]

I have a half sister, we didn’t grow up together (different mothers) but have connected a few times in the past few years. She came and helped me after the birth of my son. Things in our relationship have been rocky due to some things she did to our other sister (my full sister) when she was staying with her family a couple of years ago.

I follow her husband on IG (she’s not on the gram) and have seen him post some questionable memes in the past, but have largely ignored it. Well yesterday I came across some dialogue between him and a woman on one of his IG posts that was disrespectful. I’m wondering if it would be wise to tell my sister about it. I haven’t verbally spoken to her in probably 2 1/2 years, though we are Facebook friends.

ETA: Receipts removed

 

[Miss617]

Nope. Stay out of it.

 

[Godsdaughter001]

I would be very hesitant to contact my sister whom I haven't spoken to for 2 1/2 years to tell her about what her husband is doing on instagram.

Stay out of it, sis.

 

[God_Favor]

No.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Tough one.

I don't have any advice. It would be hard for me to sit by, having that knowledge. But it sounds like she might be closer to the husband than to you. Given that, she might feel resentful instead of appreciative, even blaming YOU and not HIM were things to deteriorate between them.

Sigh. I'd probably make the possible mistake of reconnecting, watching his account for a month, and then if I truly felt I owed my sister the knowledge, say something as low key as possible, such as: "I saw a weird post on your husband's instagram!"

But FIRST I would be talking to my sister for a good month, about just us.

All of that might be a serious mistake, but that is what I might do to try to protect her. In my mind, cheating can = AIDS, and I'm the kind of person that would just rather know. Preservation of life above all else.

But a lot of people wouldn't see it that way, and you could really anger your sister and brother in law.

 

[jerseyhaircare]

It would only blow up in your face. Stay away from the whole situation.

 

[Ayesha81]

ya'll havent talked in 2.5 years I would not get involved its not my business.​

 

[CurlyNiquee]

I edited the post to show the conversation that took place.

I am on the fence, but leaning more toward not saying nothing. I need zero drama in my life. I’m only struggling because I feel like if my husband was that disrespectful to me I’d want somebody to tell me. They have four sons together and have been married since she was 19/20 years old (she’s almost 35 now).

 

[isioma85]

No. I wouldn't.

 

[1QTPie]

I would stop following him.

 

[FlowerHair]

No... she’ll only get mad at you.

 

[CurlyNiquee]

Tough one.

I don't have any advice. It would be hard for me to sit by, having that knowledge. But it sounds like she might be closer to the husband than to you. Given that, she might feel resentful instead of appreciative, even blaming YOU and not HIM were things to deteriorate between them.

Sigh. I'd probably make the possible mistake of reconnecting, watching his account for a month, and then if I truly felt I owed my sister the knowledge, say something as low key as possible, such as: "I saw a weird post on your husband's instagram!"

But FIRST I would be talking to my sister for a good month, about just us.

All of that might be a serious mistake, but that is what I might do to try to protect her. In my mind, cheating can = AIDS, and I'm the kind of person that would just rather know. Preservation of life above all else.

But a lot of people wouldn't see it that way, and you could really anger your sister and brother in law.

Yes cheating is risky for her, but I am also of the belief that when a man is being this blatantly disrespectful, the wife usually knows something is up. That’s why I’m like, let me keep my mouth shut. If it was one of my sisters who I grew up with, I would say something without hesitation. But they would also be following their spouses on the gram too soooo lol. But you ladies helped me decide to just mind my business on this one.

I would stop following him.

Great advice! He’s annoying as hell anyway.

 

[kimpaur]

Tough one.

I don't have any advice. It would be hard for me to sit by, having that knowledge. But it sounds like she might be closer to the husband than to you. Given that, she might feel resentful instead of appreciative, even blaming YOU and not HIM were things to deteriorate between them.

Sigh. I'd probably make the possible mistake of reconnecting, watching his account for a month, and then if I truly felt I owed my sister the knowledge, say something as low key as possible, such as: "I saw a weird post on your husband's instagram!"

But FIRST I would be talking to my sister for a good month, about just us.

All of that might be a serious mistake, but that is what I might do to try to protect her. In my mind, cheating can = AIDS, and I'm the kind of person that would just rather know. Preservation of life above all else.

But a lot of people wouldn't see it that way, and you could really anger your sister and brother in law.

I like Yvette's response. If you're not willing to start the relationship back up first ,and then possibly bring it up, then I say leave it alone.

 

[Sarabellam]

I would stay out of it. That isn’t true proof that he is cheating right now. He could either claim that it was a stupid joke on IG or he could be referring to something in the past that she already knows about. Either way you’ll likely become the bad guy who is brought problems into their marriage.

Now if he starts posting pics of a random 20 yr old girl talking about wife #2 that’s another story.

 

[Starian]

Dollars to donuts she already knows he ain't worth a hill of beans. Stay out of it, particularly since you aren't close to her.

 

[Shimmie]

Welp...now that you've identified him as 'blue'... she knows. Internet has no hiding places.

 

[hopeful]

Haven’t spoken in 2 1/2 years? Half sister who has a different mother. Caused harm to my full sister whom I’m assuming you love and are close to?

I wouldn’t even consider telling her anything. I would immediately unfollow him and KIM.

 

[PeaceLover]

Girl, send the screenshots from a text-free number so she won’t know it’s you.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

You haven’t seen her in 2.5 years?
Seems like she’s a stranger so treat her as such.

 

[LostInAdream]

Mind your manners lol

 

[CurlyNiquee]

You haven’t seen her in 2.5 years?
Seems like she’s a stranger so treat her as such.

I haven’t talked to her in 2 1/2 years, it’s been much longer since I’ve seen her. I also moved from Cali to VA almost two years ago. But the communication had ceased some time before that. Yeah she is a stranger and recalling why we don’t really talk has me feeling like Kermit. None of my bidness.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

I say tell her. If your own blood won’t tell you then who will? How much drama can it be for you if you already don’t talk or see each other? Sounds like an awkward and possibly rude phone call and you go on with your life. The anonymous route works too. Send screenshots via text from an unknown number or print them out and put them in the mail. I didn’t see the receipts so I’m assuming she’ll know it’s her husband’s account. If not then you’ll have to make it clear that this is what her man is doing online.

 

[Theresamonet]

If he’s so brazen and public with his shenanigans that someone so far removed from their lives knows his business, then surely everyone else, including his wife, knows what he’s up to as well. I wouldn’t say a word. It’s likely very unnecessary.

 

[C@ssandr@]

If you guyd aren't in a good place, why the "benevolence" of reaching out just to tell her this? Sometimes I think being in someone's business is not always for the right reasons...no shade to you OP.

As ideal as it sounds, finding out that someone's husband is trifling is not an automatic pass to meddle in other people's business.

 

[KimPossibli]

I feel like I would be more concerned with your relationahip with your sister than hers with her husband.

given the distance you mention... this is def not your lane.

 

[YvetteWithJoy]

Girl, send the screenshots from a text-free number so she won’t know it’s you.

GEEEEEEENIUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!



This would solve my every issue with this situation. I would have done my part and could stop worrying about it completely. No chance at all she didn't know once I anonymously sent the texts, so total peace of mind.

 

[PeaceLover]

GEEEEEEENIUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS!



This would solve my every issue with this situation. I would have done my part and could stop worrying about it completely. No chance at all she didn't know once I anonymously sent the texts, so total peace of mind.

Yes! Someone did this to me once. I was engaged to a trifling man. They send me some info. I didn’t want to believe it, but it was just enough to plant seeds & keep my eyes open. That engagement ended & I still don’t know who is was...I wish I knew so I could thank them, but I understand that they wanted to stay out of it.

 

[momi]

So ladies if you were in the sister's shoes would you want someone to tell you? I know I would be mad if someone had me looking crazy knowing someone close to me knew and didn't tell.

I couldn't sick back in good conscience and not say anything. I would tell her - just once and let the chips fall where they may.

 

[CandiedLipgloss]

Send it to her anonymously. From fake email or number

 

[Black Ambrosia]

So ladies if you were in the sister's shoes would you want someone to tell you? I know I would be mad if someone had me looking crazy knowing someone close to me knew and didn't tell.

I couldn't sick back in good conscience and not say anything. I would tell her - just once and let the chips fall where they may.

Ditto. I actually had this happen to me. I was in high school and had been dating this guy. Took him to prom and a classmate told me after the fact that he was trying to pick up this other girl at my prom. I was hurt that my two much closer friends said nothing and actually ended those friendships because of it. I remained cool with the classmate who told me because she was looking out for me. My “friends” left me out there looking crazy thinking this guy was all that.