Would you say anything? Honestly?

N

NubianAngel

New Member
Disclaimer - this is a hypothetical post.

If someone came to this site and posted links to their album, an it was obvious that the person had damaged and bad looking hair, would you say anything? I am not talking insults, and it doesn't have to be on the public board, but would you honestly tell her that her hair is damaged and not in good shape - or would you:

a) Tell her that it looked nice just to be nice and move on or

b) look and just not make any comments?

If you had hair that was damaged and you needed a cut or a good new start, would you want to know?
 
I would want to know.

Honestly if they have damaged hair and come on to this site I would assume they are trying to correct their hair problem and that was the reason for joining the board. Just like us they are looking for stronger longer hair -but theirs may be badly damaged so they have further to go in their journey.

So no I would not tell her the hair was in bad shape unless she asked what to do about it.
 
I would look and not make a comment unless I'm asked for my opinion and I would be honest.

If my hair was damaged I would definitely want someone to give me some good advice, i.e cutting my hair or products I should use.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Supergirl said:
I would find something positive about her hair and encourage her on that point.

[/ QUOTE ]

ITA, everyone here is looking to improve the quality of their hair. I would encourage the person and tell them to take advantage of all the great hair tips here.
 
honestly i would say it was nice and move on. or say something like nice pics.
if it was me i would want to know but as obssesed as i am with hair there's no way i would not know if my hair was damaged
 
Actually I was in this position about a month ago when I viewed a member's pics. I didn't know how to write my post without hurting the person's feelings, but at the same time I did want to offer help - but in the end I decided it was best not to say anything at all. Eventually another member posted almost exactly how I felt, and the person who posted the pics got offended so I was glad I chose not to post.

If my hair was damaged I'd be the first to acknowedge it and wouldn't mind advice/tips.
 
This is a hard one and you know how we... can be. I wouldn't post it to her in public, but I would PM her. I am sure if you were tactful, it will be taken as such.

I know I am open to suggestions on my hair especially if someone has the same texture and has achieved great things.
 
Goiod question
smile.gif


To answer your question YES and NO...

Yes, if someone posted a picture simply stating "this is where I am now and I am looking to achieve this..." With that, I would ask them what problems are they having now and maybe they should start off with a good trim before starting their journey (this was always my advice at my first hair board)- Note - I did not comment on the picture at all.

NO, if they place their picture on the site and stated how "great and how healthy their hair is". With that, I wouldn't comment at all. IF THEY WERE TO ASK IF I THOUGHT THIER HAIR LOOKED HEALTHY and it didn't, then I would have to honesty answer, but ofcourse not in a tact-free way. I beleive we all deserve honesty.

-lee
 
I agree w/ Supergirl. Either I would check out her album and WORDLESSLY (no comments needed) move on, OR I would start w/ LIGHT PRAISE and a LIGHT SUGGESTION. Ex., say for instance that her ends looked a bit ragged or her hair looked all dry,...you might say:

"Nice pictures! I like your length but I think that if you took just a quarter of an inch of those ends, that would really be the BOMB!" (That way,...she reads and comes away w/ a suggestion that she'll probably use because chances are,...if YOU saw that her ends were FRIED,...EVERYONE else did too and they might follow up w/ the same suggestion).

Or: "LOVE that style! When my hair was in a similar style, I used to love using "Such-and-Such" Oil Sheen or "Such-and-Such" product to give it a more moisturized sheen."

See? No insults there and as long as you word it TACTFULLY, you can tell her the truth w/o her being offended. But if the hair is JUST ABSOLUTELY JACKED-UP
shocked.gif
shocked.gif
where you cannot say anything good about it,.....DON'T! Don't say anything,...just move on!
 
I also agree w/ whoever suggesting the PM'ing! That way you don't hurt her feelings and make her feel embarassed to the point where she feels self-conscious about posting anything further.
 
[ QUOTE ]
ChoclatePrincess said:
I would look and not make a comment unless I'm asked for my opinion and I would be honest.

If my hair was damaged I would definitely want someone to give me some good advice, i.e cutting my hair or products I should use.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ditto on CP's comments. I'm not saying a word if not solicited and esp if the person doesn't seem to think their current hair state is unhealthy.
nono.gif
 
I choose b.

Even if their hair looked unhealthy and in need of a good cut, I wouldn't say anything at all. I will leave that to their family/friends.
 
I agree. No negative comments from me.

But if that person is bragging about their hair, you know I'm on the other side of the computer screen like
perplexed.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
NubianAngel said:
a) Tell her that it looked nice just to be nice and move on or

b) look and just not make any comments?



[/ QUOTE ]

I'd most likely say nothing. If she mentioned a similar problem to something I've dealt with, then I'd PM her advice. But I'm generally useless. There's a forum full of info here for anyone to search through, and we all start from somewhere.
look.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
bollyhair said:
I agree w/ Supergirl. Either I would check out her album and WORDLESSLY (no comments needed) move on, OR I would start w/ LIGHT PRAISE and a LIGHT SUGGESTION. Ex., say for instance that her ends looked a bit ragged or her hair looked all dry,...you might say:

"Nice pictures! I like your length but I think that if you took just a quarter of an inch of those ends, that would really be the BOMB!" (That way,...she reads and comes away w/ a suggestion that she'll probably use because chances are,...if YOU saw that her ends were FRIED,...EVERYONE else did too and they might follow up w/ the same suggestion).

Or: "LOVE that style! When my hair was in a similar style, I used to love using "Such-and-Such" Oil Sheen or "Such-and-Such" product to give it a more moisturized sheen."

See? No insults there and as long as you word it TACTFULLY, you can tell her the truth w/o her being offended. But if the hair is JUST ABSOLUTELY JACKED-UP
shocked.gif
shocked.gif
where you cannot say anything good about it,.....DON'T! Don't say anything,...just move on!

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree with this, if they are here then it obvious that they are looking for help/suggestions on their hair routine. So it is totally unneccessary to point out to them that their hair is a mess. There was a post a while back by someone who had a long way to go in her hair journey. I was very encouraging and many others were too. Then someone came along and basically told her, her hair was mess, which I felt was absolutely unnecessaery especially because she had made progress from her first set of pics. There are always ways to make positive suggestions without including negatives.
smile.gif
 
[ QUOTE ]
ChoclatePrincess said:
I would look and not make a comment unless I'm asked for my opinion and I would be honest.


[/ QUOTE ]

I see plenty albums on here that I would want to comment on but I choose not to b/c the person may be upset by what I have to say. I think many people need to just get a cut and start over, butttt nooo they rather hold on to thier hair and try to bring it back to life with "moisture, moisture, moisture" as the board emphatically professes. Sometimes, all u need is a fresh blunt even cut, start from scratch and then u can "moisture, moisture, moisture."
 
I wouldn't say anything unless the person asked for suggestions or if [she] already acknowledged the problem herself. At that point I wouldn't necessarily comment on their hair but offer a suggestion to correct the problem.

I want to note that if you look in my album there's a pic of my edges that broke off and were thin from wrapping. I don't mind exposing myself and any suggestions are welcome.
smile.gif
 
I would try the my hair was once like yours and I....... type answer.

By the way if any of you have suggestions for my hair or think it is a hot mess please send me a PM I am open for suggestions. I know not everything works for everyone but knowledge is power. Also it feels good sometimes to get advice because there are alot of people who have knowledge and hold on to it/ keep it a secret/ want to be the only one with healthy long hair.
 
I would not say anything. However, if they were asking, then I'd try to help. Otherwise, I would trust in the wisdom available at the LHCF that their hair would turn around soon
smile.gif
.

On the other hand, I would want the help. So if anyone sees my hair looking tore up, help me. I'm always game to take some hair advice
grin.gif
.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Karonica said:
I agree. No negative comments from me.

But if that person is bragging about their hair, you know I'm on the other side of the computer screen like
perplexed.gif


[/ QUOTE ]
lachen70.gif
That face says it all
 
I wouldn't say anything unless I was asked.

Someone left a very nasty comment in my album under the name 'Anoynomous'. Isn't that a trip? I deleted it. If they didn't like my hair, then all they had to do was just move on!

And if they didn't have the guts to post their name, then they REALLY should've kept quiet! Gutless wonder!
lachen70.gif
 
This is interesting because I wondered when people looked at my album were they just being nice or did they mean what they said. I posted my pics for some feedback. I was prepared for negative or positive but I am what some people say bruttally honest and I would want someone to comment truthfully about my hair. As a matter of fact someone did PM me and told me that I should try castor oil for thickening up my hair. I was not offended at all! As a matter of fact I was grateful and will be looking for some this weekend. But I say if a style doesn't look right or something please let me know. My best friend does not like when I wear my hair with the bantu knot curly style in my album but you ladies loved it so I was thinking like hmm... who to believe.
crazy.gif
But I think we are here to encourage and help eachother and if you see something you should let others know instead of the "Nice Album" comment. I have seen some albums where I did not like someones hair or thought their hair looked bad but my reason for not commenting is because I am learning right now and I feel I'm not knowledgeable enough yet to tell someone else what they should or shouldn't be doing. But let me reach my goal. I will be an old guru at this and I will be telling everyone what to do
old.gif
LOL...But like I said. I welcome the feedback.

Now watch me get like 50 PM's on what's wrong with my hair. I'll cut ya!
kar.gif
LOL
 
Yes, that was very unnecessary and rude of them, TigerLily.

I agree w/the majority here: I would not say anything and I would def want to know if my hair was jacked up so that it might improve.
 
I wouldn't say anything, but from what I see on this board and others, most people give compliments where compliments aren't necessarily due.
 
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