humility1990
New Member
Would you rather marry a man who would earn 50 k for the rest of his life that you were completely besotted with, but was bad with money or a guy you cared about that was a millionaire and good with money? Opinions please.
Would you marry love or money
- Thread starter humility1990
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Lovelylife
New Member
I don't mind the 50K for the rest of his life but bad with money...I couldn't handle that.
Only if he was besotted with me would I try to handle it...me being besotted with him is not enough. Plus if I was besotted with him, his actions would hurt me even more.
I would take the millionaire that I cared about.
Only if he was besotted with me would I try to handle it...me being besotted with him is not enough. Plus if I was besotted with him, his actions would hurt me even more.
I would take the millionaire that I cared about.
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snillohsss
New Member
The "bad with money" is a deal breaker. A trait like that can put a family in the poor house. I would go with the millionaire.
Triniwegian
New Member
Go for love and I will handle the money part 
curlycoquette
New Member
Love is not enough. Only takes one weak link to break a chain.
Detroit2Dallas
New Member
Being bad with money is detrimental to quality of life so I'll take the millionare. Cause idc how much you love Mr 50k after a while when you'll are eatting ANOTHER meal of canned meat or spaghetti with meat flavored SAUCE you'll get good and tired of putting up with his dumb money woes.
EbonyEyes
Well-Known Member
I'm assuming that the man with the $50K salary is deeply in love with me as well. It depends on what you mean by "bad with money". If you mean that he doesn't manage it well, then I'll just manage the finances for us by paying the bills, taking care of the savings and investing, and giving him an allowance. While we're married I will encourage him and teach him about good money management. But if you mean that he'll open credit card accounts at the drop of a dime and max them out without telling me or dip into our savings to finance whatever tickles his fancy at the time, then I can't be with a guy like that, no matter how much I love him. I'd much rather marry the rich man I care for who's good with money, assuming he's also a decent guy.
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
I wouldn't be in love with a bad money manager. A grown man who can't keep his finances in order is so unattractive to me. I'll take the millionaire.
ladysaraii
Well-Known Member
Assuming that we have the same level of affection and all other things are equal and above board, I'd go for the millionaire
Jacklyn Kennedy Onassis said the above.
$50K AND money issues???? SO basically he is broke, is content with his brokeassness and always will be broke.
Give me the millionaire. I care about him, but I'm not besotted with him right???
Give me the millionaire!
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honeyflaava
Well-Known Member
I ain't saying I'm a goldigger, but I ain't messing with no broke ninja... :wink2:
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*CherryPie*
Well-Known Member
I'll take the millions, regardless of the circumstances.
ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
I'm torn about how to answer this question because I'm not sure I could fall in love with someone 'bad with money.'
erplexed I plan to marry someone I can depend on to take care of me and our family and being bad with money is a major deal breaker. It doesn't matter how much money I make, he could spend it all and we'd both be broke!
As for the millionaire that I cared about, assuming there's no skeletons in the closet or other strings, I'll take him and venture to say I'll grow to love him. Love is important to me but it doesn't pay the bills and part of what makes me fall in love with a man is his ability to provide. I want someone to stand with me not bring me down.
erplexed I plan to marry someone I can depend on to take care of me and our family and being bad with money is a major deal breaker. It doesn't matter how much money I make, he could spend it all and we'd both be broke! As for the millionaire that I cared about, assuming there's no skeletons in the closet or other strings, I'll take him and venture to say I'll grow to love him. Love is important to me but it doesn't pay the bills and part of what makes me fall in love with a man is his ability to provide. I want someone to stand with me not bring me down.
Britt
Well-Known Member
50k for the rest of life... is scary to me. Being bad with money is a total deal breaker for me. That is one thing I can't get with... you can't be messing around w/ MY or OUR money. A problem like that will leave you with your face down and arse up . I refuse to have always have the burden of bills looming over my head, late fees, not being able to pay of debts b/c he's useless when it comes to spending and handling money! NO WAYYYY! Cannot do it. A man messing with your money will TOTALLY suck the romance, lovey dovey, feelings you have. No way !!!!!! We can't have that. That will dry the cooch up in a split second. I didn't realize until I was an adult how $$$ could really drive a huge wedge of resentment and tons of issues between people. That is one thing that can kill a relationship.
. I refuse to have always have the burden of bills looming over my head, late fees, not being able to pay of debts b/c he's useless when it comes to spending and handling money! NO WAYYYY! Cannot do it. A man messing with your money will TOTALLY suck the romance, lovey dovey, feelings you have. No way !!!!!! We can't have that. That will dry the cooch up in a split second. I didn't realize until I was an adult how $$$ could really drive a huge wedge of resentment and tons of issues between people. That is one thing that can kill a relationship.
cheetarah1980
Well-Known Member
That doesn't even sound like a partnership. If you have to do all of that why marry that man?
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
50k for the rest of life... is scary to me. Being bad with money is a total deal breaker for me. That is one thing I can't get with... you can't be messing around w/ MY or OUR money. A problem like that will leave you with your face down and arse up
See that's the thing most divorces and fights are money related. So what does that tell me? It's not a smart move to stay with the guy whose bad with money. Because as you mention all that love in the beginning is going to turn into annoyance and then possibly disgust because I no longer respect him (because he's driving our family into the poor house and is hopeless with money). When I think bad with money, it's not always about the amount of money. I know someone who makes over 6 figures, in a small town (I mention small town because the cost of living is lower) and has creditors calling all the time all the time. Because said person likes to purchase jewelry all the time. And that would be great if it was one piece a month, but it's like 5-6 statement pieces (and his wife complains of this all the time) and these aren't cheap pieces. Meanwhile he never wears them. When I visited he showed me his box of jewelry
. Meanwhile it's all...don't answer that when the phone rings (not that I'd answer any ones else's phone) but he even says that to his wife. That to me is all kinds of wrong and to fight about that because someone is just throwing their money down the drain, instead of living within their means (and let me go a step forward by saying also investing)...is a no no for me. I don't see how the love would last after all the arguing. So that relationship is already doomed imo because the love will drain away after you look and see the kids college fund has been drained by hubby because you looooove him, but he's bad with money. I'd rather love a responsible person, or grow to love them.
Don't get me wrong, the idea is to love the person I'm marrying (as I do with my fiance)...but I had to make a choice in this scenario. In real life the minute I knew he was bad with money he'd be filtered. I don't have time to change a grown man. I just want to find one with the qualities I'm looking for already. I realize minor human flaws are one thing, but that's a major flaw to me.
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Britt
Well-Known Member
this is it succintly. I've been there before and don't plan to go back. It's even worse than dealing w/ someone broke b/c at least someone broke is just getting by the way they know how. But mixing your finances w/ a dude that is totally careless and irresponsible with money and then the burden falls on you b/c he's late on payments, etc? NAHHHHH ! Can't do it, just can't do it! Or someone who doesn't mind paying bills late? These are some fundamental things I can't get with. I'm a worrier and like to have my shyt organized. I need to know I don't have debt looming over me, that I have some pocket change, I can't be splurging what I don't have just b/c I want it ... This will make me resent the person exponentially. I hate irresponsibility. If I was a dude, I'd be extremely cautious of settling down w/ a woman who is this way also. My gf will be out of work and just spend $$$ on her credit cards like it's nothing, she'll wait till the very last minute to look for a temp job so she can pay her bills. I realize that she's a person that subconsciously likes to live on the edge and that parlays into her personal life heavily. She's not unfeathered that her car is totalled and she has no job or no way to pay for it to get fixed. She's not bothered by the fact she she's 30+ w/ prob not even 3k saved. I truly think she's comfy just kinda living on the edge. I'm the total opposite. If I lost my job and knew I didn't have a pot to piss in, the thought alone would make me piss on myself from having bad nerves
erplexed. My point is, it is veryyyy good to watch how someone is w/ their $$, find out how much debt they have, how are they managing it, are they putting themselves in more debt, do they pay their bills on time, how are they w/ money?
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
I want to make sure I understand the question humility... Are you asking if we'd rather marry a man whom we're head over heels in love with, but would never earn more than $50K and is bad with money OR a man that we like, not love, but makes a lot of money and knows how to manage it? If this is correct, I'd have to choose the first man. IME, it is possible to have a marriage where one person manages money better than the other and, when that person handles the finances, everything is fine. Also, again, IME, as long as being bad with finances/managing money (not balancing a checkbook and tracking spending or fighting off the temptation to make purchases) doesn't equal disrespectful with finances (lying about spending and going back on your word after we've come to an understanding about how we are going to manage our finances) I could make it work. Now don't get me wrong, I don't have ANYTHING negative to say about the woman who chooses man #2, but if I'm going to stand by DH as life is throwing those curveballs, I'm going to have to do a little more than like him.
MD_Lady
Well-Known Member
EXACTLY.
Every behavior has a range and the guy who doesn't balance his checkbook and can't see the "big picture" is VERY different from the guy who constantly opens up a new line of credit every time he gets an itch to purchase a big ticket item.
LovelyNaps26
Well-Known Member
ITA. My loving mother saw my dad as having potential and yes he has paid in full for my sister and I to go to college. I can't emphasize how thankful i am not to have student loans. But...
my mother has suffered something TERRIBLE being in love with a man who did not respect her. Furthermore, when a man doesn't show love to his wife he leaves and indelible mark on the lives of his children. When I was little I would pray to God that if he allowed my father to be a loving husband to his wife I would be fine if he took our house away and we had to live in a 2 bedroom apartment. Love ain't everything but, Lord knows I don't need to live with someone just to feel more lonely than if I was just by myself.
This is why I'll take Mr. 50K and run our finances like Suze Orman.
luckiestdestiny
Well-Known Member
I was thinking this when responding. Thanks for saying this! I mean you CAN find a man who has both.
It's always evil guy with money. Or guy you don't love with money. Or cold guy with money. When there are the same without money as well. There are amazing men of all socioeconomic backgrounds, and a lot of crappy ones in every background as well.
I wish I had responded in this way instead as well.
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