Would you marry a person if you knew they were infertile?

Would you marry someone if you knew they were infertile?

  • Yes - There's always adoption.

    Votes: 91 26.7%

  • Yes - I don't want kids anyway.

    Votes: 53 15.5%

  • Yes - Love conquers all.

    Votes: 32 9.4%

  • Some combination of 1, 2, or 3.

    Votes: 80 23.5%

  • No - I am determined to have biological kids with my huzzbin

    Votes: 63 18.5%

  • Don't have an opinion.

    Votes: 22 6.5%
  • Total voters
    341
Glib Gurl said:
In my confessions post, I wrote that I'm afraid I'll never find a man to love me. Part of this fear results from the fact that I don't think I can have children (this results from a non-weight-related problem I have, although carrying an extra 100lbs doesn't help!). I can't imagine a man wanting to be with me knowing that I might not be able to have kids with him. (Then again, I don't want to marry no joker who would run off if he found out later on that I couldn't.) I mean, there's always surrogacy, but that can be expensive and have some ethical issues.

So, I'm wondering what people think about this? Would you? Do you know others who would or would not?
Click to expand...


I'm wondering...what makes you so sure you can't have kids?

I don't personally know of anyone who couldn't have children, but I know people who decided not to have children who were lucky enough to find likeminded spouses and are happy.

At my age (42), I'd probably be a bit elated if I found a guy who couldn't get me pregnant, as I've happily accepted my child-free status. However, if I found myself pregnant I wouldn't go jumping off a bridge or anything. I'd just adjust as best as I could. :-)
 
Connie said:
blah, blah, blah
At my age (42),...yada, yada, yada.....
Click to expand...
Why you in here lyin? I'ma need to see a Birth Certificate, a Drivers License and (not or, and) a note from your Pastor (Holy man of your choice, Sharpton don't count) before I believe you are 42. :grin:
 
I wouldn't mind at all. I'm not really interested in having kids, so that would be a bonus as far as I'm concerned.
 
The way Im feeling at the moment YES.....I have one child and Ive always wanted to adopt. So as long as he not against adopting and infertile we can work something out. There are no limits when love is involved.
 
I would. My son is an adult now and I don't want anymore children. So this would not be an issue for me.
 
I'm totally fine with it. I always planned to adopt anyway so it wouldn't be a big deal to me. I've had a few miscarriages so I go back and forth on trying again. If I or my DH couldn't have children, not a biggie to me, I'd adopt and keep it moving!

I'll tell you this GG, my girlfriends husband was NOT supposed to be able to have children because of an illness.......well my "nephew" will be four in April! So you never know what's in store.
 
I am going to. But, I am okay with it. I think I only want kids with him because I am jealous that his ex-wife has kids with him (yes I will admit my jealously). I know good and darn well that I don't want to start over now when my only child will be grown in less than years and I will only be 36. :yep:
 
Yes, I would. There are other methods. I feel that adoption is just as good as an other method of having a child naturally. All children deserve a loving home.
 
I would because when you marry someone, you marry in sickness and in health. You don't want anything to happen to you and your DH but if something does, you supposedly took vows to honor your marriage and stick with you spouse. What if, soon after you get married, some freak incident/accident leaves him infertile....then what? Sickness and health, I say. So my answer is Yes.
 
It's a tough question, but I think if you truly love the person and want to be with them there are options - If something were to happen that I was or my SO/Hubby was infertile, I would adopt in a heartbeat. And if the couple does not want to have kids, then it shouldn't be an issue at all
 
I would.

We could adopt.

I seriously do not see myself ever having an alien inside of me and straining my life to it's breaking point to push it out of a 10cm dialated cervix...

:blush:

Pregnancy and childbirth scares the living daylights out of me.

There are a lot of kids out there that need homes.
 
Glib- Everyone marries for different reasons not just for the sake of procreation. If someone truly loves you, then they will marry you. If it's meant for you to be a mother, it will happen through other ways.

As far as me, no, I could not marry a person if I knew they were not fertile. I was adopted so I wanted to break the cycle and raise my own biological children. However, I am open to adopting other children. I love children.
 
I would have no problem marrying someone who is infertile. I plan to adopt anyways, but sometimes I think I may never have kids at all.
 
girl I have cried and prayed over this same exact issue....at least u know what ur issue is....me they still have no clue whats goin on in my body...however in vitro is also an option and I personally see no ethical issues with that ... I have always wanted to adopt but I also always wanted to have at least 1 or two that were mine biologically (there is something awesome intrying to figure out who ur child looks like in the family).... that being said yes I would marry an infertile man lets face it if Im infertile I cant get pregnant anyway....and we would have to work around the issue.....but either way a child out there somewhere would be getting our love regardless of DNA:yep:
One of my sisters fiance refuses adoption in case she cant reproduce but he is still willing to marry her if she cant... Im very nurturing and maternal so I know a man like him couldnt be an option for a woman like me...anyway thats my opinion
Glib Gurl said:
In my confessions post, I wrote that I'm afraid I'll never find a man to love me. Part of this fear results from the fact that I don't think I can have children (this results from a non-weight-related problem I have, although carrying an extra 100lbs doesn't help!). I can't imagine a man wanting to be with me knowing that I might not be able to have kids with him. (Then again, I don't want to marry no joker who would run off if he found out later on that I couldn't.) I mean, there's always surrogacy, but that can be expensive and have some ethical issues.

So, I'm wondering what people think about this? Would you? Do you know others who would or would not?
Click to expand...
 
Every time I see this thread I grit my teeth and keep going.
Ya don't want me to post how I REALLY feel about this topic.

Fletgee bows to all, backs out of the room, and closes the door.
 
fletgee said:
Every time I see this thread I grit my teeth and keep going.
Ya don't want me to post how I REALLY feel about this topic.

Fletgee bows to all, backs out of the room, and closes the door.
Click to expand...

How do you feel about this topic? Everyone is entitled to state their opinion...
 
Glib Gurl said:
In my confessions post, I wrote that I'm afraid I'll never find a man to love me. Part of this fear results from the fact that I don't think I can have children (this results from a non-weight-related problem I have, although carrying an extra 100lbs doesn't help!). I can't imagine a man wanting to be with me knowing that I might not be able to have kids with him. (Then again, I don't want to marry no joker who would run off if he found out later on that I couldn't.) I mean, there's always surrogacy, but that can be expensive and have some ethical issues.

So, I'm wondering what people think about this? Would you? Do you know others who would or would not?
Click to expand...

I had been infertile since 16 (I am now 42). Initally, I had to lie and say I was on the pill instead of explaining why I could not get pregnant. When I met my husband 23 yrs ago...I told him that I couldn't get pregnant and he did not believe me until I had my mother tell him so. Recently, I had a hysterectomy...but prior to meeting my husband I kept it to myself or told a little lie...

You have to choose who you share it with. Some will be scared off; others will not. It works both ways. Male or female should be honest...when the time and the person are right....otherwise just tell them what they want to hear..I am on the pill...I had a vascetomy....something....or not. Until you decide to settle down with someone...It is nobody's business but you and GOD!
 
NannDee said:
I had been infertile since 16 (I am now 42). Initally, I had to lie and say I was on the pill instead of explaining why I could not get pregnant. When I met my husband 23 yrs ago...I told him that I couldn't get pregnant and he did not believe me until I had my mother tell him so. Recently, I had a hysterectomy...but prior to meeting my husband I kept it to myself or told a little lie...

You have to choose who you share it with. Some will be scared off; others will not. It works both ways. Male or female should be honest...when the time and the person are right....otherwise just tell them what they want to hear..I am on the pill...I had a vascetomy....something....or not. Until you decide to settle down with someone...It is nobody's business but you and GOD!
Click to expand...


ITA...Infertility is not something you shout off the roof tops, but it is something that you should be honest about when you're ready.
I was/am in the same situation, I've been infertile since 17, I'm 39 now and when my boyfriend now husband and I reached the point in our relationship when we didn't need condoms, I told him about my condition and he didn't believe me, thought I was trying to trap him. Once I finally convinced him, he took it in stride and was very supportive and took an active roll while trying to conceive. Unfortunately, it never happened and we're going through a divorce, but I am thankful that I at least had a supportive partner.
 
cocoberry10 said:
If you did get married and wanted to have a family, could the docs retrieve your eggs and implant them into someone else (mixed with your SO's sperm). I believe you could do this. That way, it would be both of your children!
Click to expand...

Oh my sister had volunteered her uterus for this purpose (even though we're not particularly close, its all about sisterly love because if the script was flipped I'd do it for her)...but girrrrll we so don't want kids (we can't even decide on a dog or fish!)I believe I'm very lucky on both sides of the coin. At the age my sister is now, I wouldn't put her through all that again.

-A
 
If I didn't want to have biological children, there's no way in hell I'd tie myself to a man's fate by marrying him. So, since I think that biological children are the point and purpose of legal marriage, I could never marry a man who could not have biological children. We could remain friends and hope for a different outcome in another lifetime, but forget any sort of romantic relationship in this lifetime.
 
whilst i do plan to adopt, i would also want a biological child. since i'm not infertile, i would not want my future husband to be infertile either. i don't believe in love at first sight or anything like that, so i think i would probably know if a man wanted children and whether or not he was able to reproduce before we entered a more serious phase to our relationship and then marriage. if i found out he was infertile at this point then it would have to be quits for us.
 
It depends,

If I want children--no, I wouldn't marry infertile man.
If I didn't want children----yes, I would marry infertile man.
 
I have an opinion and that would be OTHER.
Yes, yes and yes, :grin: that would not be an issue at this stage in my life, (because I am through with child rearing--it was beautiful!). Actually it would be a PLUS...then we could relax and f@*# all we want and not be concerned with bread in the oven, AND providing he feels the same way of course.

P.S. For those who want to raise a family, be encouraged, feel the blessing and multiply.
 
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