Would you marry a person if you knew they were infertile?

[asummertyme]

BTW, I don't think I mentioned this in my original post - I fully intend to adopt at least one child in my lifetime. There are so many young black kids who need families . . . .

I agree here on this one..I have a adopted brother..he has been with my family since 6 mos old, and he has been just a joy in our lives..i cant picture my life without him ad he IS my brother period..he is 12 next month...
I would most certanily stay with the man if i loved him, as long as he was willing to adopt or explore other options..

 

[asummertyme]

love conquers all

My DH and I thought i could not have kids naturally as I have fallopian tube problems, We were awaiting IVF treatment.
low and behold we are expecting our first miracle now! and have cancelled that IVF treatment

OT...
congrats back angel..how wonderful!!

 

[Angelicus]

*singing like Dionne Warwick* that's what nieces are forrrr!

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Im not too keen on being pregnant so ill marry him in a heartbeat

 

[Ayeshia]

yesI would. Im not hell bent on having a family so Im okay with it. we can always adopt

 

[blasianbeauty]

It would hurt to find out that my guy is infertile, but I wouldn't leave him. There's always adoption, something that I've always wanted to do anyway.

ETA: Another option would be for me to get a sperm donor. That way, I could still give birth, and my guy could still raise the child as if it were his own.

If he was the right guy I would. To be honest, I'm not all that caught up on having kids anyway, so it doesn't matter to me.

 

[Maynard]

No. I would not

 

[The Girl]

I have a child so I thin that makes me biased but I would marry a man who couldn't have children. That also is considering he is ok with it. Like has he come to terms with his infertily and accepted, I am sorry I have a small child I don't need a big one too. I feel like if its true love (which is sooooo rare), why throw it away over something trivial? For all I know it may be a test from the Higher power to see if I deserve him and his future children

 

[redbone_412]

I have thought about this very subject time and time again. I have a 9 year old son. But I also have health issues (one fallopian tube due to an ectopic and fibroids) so I wonder if I may be infertile. THe sad thing is that my OBGYN won't run any tests to determine. SHe keeps telling me to try for a few months and if not, she will test my SO's sperm. Well, considering the fact that I don't have a SO and I'm 30, I want to know now. So I guess I should tell her that, huh?

So to answer to the question - no, I wouldn't run out on a man that infertile, true love is hard to come by so I'm not blocking my blessings

 

[LadyPaniolo]

It's hard to admit, but I don't think I would. Being a mother is central to who I am. When I married DH, I thought *I* was infertile b/c in my previous relationship I never got pregnant the whole 3 years. Turns out that it was him who was sterile.

My DH married me anyway, saying that he loved me so much he would find a way for us to make a family. I used to sob and cry so hard over feeling barren... now thank goodness I'm expecting #2!

I'm glad he chose to marry me anyway, and I'm even more glad that I turned out to be plenty fertile. But I don't know if I could go into a marriage knowing that I may never be a mother.

It may be hypocritical, but I'm trying to be super honest.

 

[tmichelle]

I voted yes, because we are currently going through fertility issues (3 miscarriages). My dh has told me on numerous occasions that this is a test of our faith and whether we have children or not is in God's hands so be at peace with it, he is.

He's been such a great husband, I would have been a fool to have said no to him if it were he who was infertile.

 

[Blaque*Angel]

OT...
congrats back angel..how wonderful!!

Thank you darling asummertyme

 

[carcajada]

This question is too hard. I always imagine spitting out mocha boys that look like DH with his same pointy head. I'd be heartbroken at first, but am sure we could get past it and keep it moving.

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

Absolutely.

For a long time it was thought that I was infertile, but in our 5th year together, I became pregnant with my daughter. I used to be so hard on myself. Now I wonder why I was so stressed about it because I would marry a man who was great in other ways and just infertile in a heartbeat and if I would, what would make it so hard to believe that there are men with those same ideals?

I planned to adopt at that time and still do. I want a big family and pregnancy is the pits. Absolutely #1 on the most overrated things to do. Also I would just love to give a child a home.

 

[MarieC]

Yes, I have never been able to have children. I did not know before we were married that I would not be able to get pregnant. DH has been loving and supportive throughout the years of trying to conceive. It never happed for us so DH and I have adopted twice. We are happily married & just celebrated our 13th anniversary. There is life and happiness after infertility.

 

[MissScarlett]

I would. I am adopted, my mom couldn't have kids, so in my heart it wouldn't be right to not marry a person soley based on that.

Since my mom was infertile, I really take the ability to get pregnant easily very seriously and look at it like its a wondrous miralce not everyone gets.

I'm praying for all the ladies that are having fertility problems or going through IVF, in God's time it will happen! Believe it! Someone else has posted about praying for a baby, I can't remember her name but I'm thinking of her as well.

Congrats to all the miracle babies!

 

[Valerie]

I need a lot of prayer!

 

[MissScarlett]

I need a lot of prayer!

(HUGS))) I'm praying for you too!

 

[chica_canella]

I want kids with my husband and God can create miracles so you never really know, you know.

 

[SkinnyMocah]

I don't plan to have children. That would be ideal. Right now it' hard for me to find someone because there are few men that don't already have kids and if they don't have them, they want them. I love children but I don't want to raise them.

 

[carcajada]

I need a lot of prayer!

sending prayer your way!

 

[Cichelle]

I absolutely would without a doubt. I always wanted to adopt and that's what I did. So I know if I had fallen in love with someone who could not biologically father a child, I'd have zero problem with it. In fact, in some ways, I probably would have been relieved.

 

[Danene5]

I can completely understand. I have gone through some medical issues myself. I discussed this with my man before and he is just fine with adoption or either in-vitro. I think it is about finding someone that will love you and appreciate you for who you are and not for who you're not. I am a firm believer in adoption, actually I would rather adopt than have my own. There are too many African American children in the system that aren't being adopted and they need a loving home and family as well. So I choose adoption.

 

[MzTami]

I want kids with my husband and God can create miracles so you never really know, you know.

so true..... My cousin was injured playing football and the doctor told him he couldn't have children. He got children(not child) running all over the place.

 

[Bint Yusef]

Probably not when I actually got married, but now a resounding YES.

 

[tyrablu]

I would...I think that currently getting pregnant would not be an easy thing for me, so if I would want someone to be with me in spite of this, i should be willing to return the favor.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

There are MANY, MANY people for whom infertility is not a deal breaker, so don't fret!! I've met many guys who feel that way. They have no problem marrying someone that can't have biological children. Also, you never know. There are miracles and medical discoveries made every year in terms of fertility issues. I happen to think adoption is one of the most wonderful things a person can do.

As for me.
No, I would not. I think it's imperative that people know what they need out of a relationship, every person has different requirements. I believe a great deal of the divorces are because people aren't upfront with themselves or SO about what they need/want/don't want or assume they can change the other person.
For me having biological children is very important and if I didn't try then I would always wonder "what if". In addition I also plan to adopt children, but both are very important to me.

If I were already married and he became unable to father a child then I would stay with him and we'd figure something out. Now if he deceived me then I would wonder what else he may have lied to me about and ......

 

[beadedgirl]

In my confessions post, I wrote that I'm afraid I'll never find a man to love me. Part of this fear results from the fact that I don't think I can have children (this results from a non-weight-related problem I have, although carrying an extra 100lbs doesn't help!). I can't imagine a man wanting to be with me knowing that I might not be able to have kids with him. (Then again, I don't want to marry no joker who would run off if he found out later on that I couldn't.) I mean, there's always surrogacy, but that can be expensive and have some ethical issues.

So, I'm wondering what people think about this? Would you? Do you know others who would or would not?

An infertile man!!!!!.....SOUNDS LIKE MY DREAMBOAT!!!!!!!!

 

[cocoberry10]

knowing that I'm infertile I made sure SO was ok with that. I still have eggs, just no uterus. (it is what it is you know??)

He didn't want kids and dosen't have kids so it worked out. Would he marry me? If thats what I ultimately wanted, yeah in a heartbeat.

If a person is infertile and its something they know about themselves, they should disclose that to the other party so THEY can also decide if thats what they want.

Some do learn to live with it and just adopt.


-A

If you did get married and wanted to have a family, could the docs retrieve your eggs and implant them into someone else (mixed with your SO's sperm). I believe you could do this. That way, it would be both of your children!

 

[nikkablue]

I would in a heartbeat, I personally do not want children. It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I personally don't want any. Now nothing is written in stone but I woud rather adopt a child than have one.Hopefully my futue SO would have the same view.