Would you have a child for your husband, even if you didn't want one?

[naija24]

So I'm watching Greys Anatomy, one of my fav tv shows ever. Anyway, in Season 7's finale, Christina Yang finds out she's pregnant and she wants an abortion because she never wants to have kids. Her husband, Owen Hunt, tells her that she should have the baby, because she loves him.

I'm very mixed on this episode, years later.

How do most women feel about this? Would you give your husband a baby because he wanted one? Even if you didn't? Is it about pleasing your husband or is it something else?

What would you never give your husband, if he asked?

 

[SuchaLady]

That's a horrible idea. Never understood married couples with opposing viewpoints on kids.

 

[silverbuttons]

No, thats too important; we should have never married in the first place.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

Oh she's married to dude? I just started watching lol. Ehhh, not sure. I know women who've had kids on men without their approval but I think it'll eventually end in divorce.

 

[DarkJoy]

No.

Having had a kid already, it's too much work--and not just physical, it can be emotionally exhausting too, to have one and not want one. It could make for a lifelong resentment toward both the husband and the child by proxy.

 

[FelaShrine]

I only have a problem with these women telling the husband

what is the point of that? if you truly dont want to be pregnant why tell him? reminds me of when Bird did that on Soul Food. got dude all into it then all of a sudden changing things, the hell is that about. keep your mouth shut, make your decision and he will be none the wiser

once you tell him all bets are off. he has a say.

 

[FlowerHair]

Ideally, that's something that should be discussed beforehand. But people change their minds...

I don't think anyone should have a child they don't want. It's too much work even when you want them lol.

 

[Mai Tai]

I don't think I could abort a child by my fh who in this scenario would of course be my husband. I am pro-choice, and I also know how NOT to get pregnant but the thought to getting rid of a baby by a man that I love so dearly would kill me.

The only thing I will not give my husband is my "me time," my sense of self-worth, a threesome, foursome or anything besides a twosome, and a rim job or any type of anal play.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I only have a problem with these women telling the husband

what is the point of that? if you truly dont want to be pregnant why tell him? reminds me of when Bird did that on Soul Food. got dude all into it then all of a sudden changing things, the hell is that about. keep your mouth shut, make your decision and he will be none the wiser

once you tell him all bets are off. he has a say.

Wouldn't he know when it's time to color?

 

[MzLady78]

I would never marry a man if we weren't on the same page about this. This is a discussion that needs to take place way before marriage.

SN: Christina hasn't wanted kids going back to when she was with Burke. I never understood why she never got her tubes tied or something.

 

[TayMac]

No I would not.

 

[LovelyRo]

IRL... My fickle self would probably have the kid! I don't see myself being married and aborting our child! I'd get over it!

 

[felic1]

I know some one who had a baby that never wanted any.
She made a great adjustment. They have been married for decades and have a lot of grandkids!

 

[Britt]

I don't think I could abort a child by my fh who in this scenario would of course be my husband. I am pro-choice, and I also know how NOT to get pregnant but the thought to getting rid of a baby by a man that I love so dearly would kill me.

The only thing I will not give my husband is my "me time," my sense of self-worth, a threesome, foursome or anything besides a twosome, and a rim job or any type of anal play.

at listing out all of this.

 

[DayStar]

not having one is one thing. But killing a baby once conceived while married without telling your husband is room for murder

 

[bklynbornNbred]

With regards to Grey's Anatomy Christina should have never married Owen. If you know what you want/don't want then be woman enough to walk away when you meet someone that clearly wants different things. Sometimes loving someone is walking away from them.

I've seen in real life how keeping someone around (sans kids) or going ahead and having a kid (in spite of the others ambivalence) led to nothing good in the long run.

 

[MizAvalon]

No, I would never do something like that nor would I have married someone who didn't feel the same as me regarding the issue. Motherhood is way too hard even when you wanted them in the first place.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Yes. marriage is supposed to be a life long commitment. So, why should he not ever have any children just because you don't want any. That's the ultimate in selfishness in a marriage. People change their minds, so we need to expect changes in relationships. ...unless, it's okay for him to have children elsewhere...or divorce.

Anyway, I think, once you have that child, you'll be thrilled that he or she was born...even the anti-children folks.

 

[ladysaraii]

Yes. marriage is supposed to be a life long commitment. So, why should he not ever have any children just because you don't want any. That's the ultimate in selfishness in a marriage. People change their minds, so we need to expect changes in relationships. ...unless, it's okay for him to have children elsewhere...or divorce.

Anyway, I think, once you have that child, you'll be thrilled that he or she was born...even the anti-children folks.

And just as you think it'd selfish not to have them, I think it's just a selfish to try to make someone have one, ESP when that wasn't in the plan.

Sorry I've seen things turn out badly too often to tell someone to take a chance they don't want.

 

[MizAvalon]

And just as you think it'd selfish not to have them, I think it's just a selfish to try to make someone have one, ESP when that wasn't in the plan.

Sorry I've seen things turn out badly too often to tell someone to take a chance they don't want.

Agreed. Also, what happens when said child is born and you're not "thrilled"?

It's incredibly selfish to expect a person that doesn't want children to have them. And vice versa.

 

[ladysaraii]

Agreed. Also, what happens when said child is born and you're not "thrilled"?

It's incredibly selfish to expect a person that doesn't want children to have them. And vice versa.

I will never forget one of my friends in middle school. really sweet girl, talented artist, but her parents always told her and her brother that they were accidents. I knew her two years through girl scouts and I don't think I ever saw her parents at any type of event.

It was really sad

 

[*CherryPie*]

That's why I said divorce.

For people that want children, having them is a big deal. That also goes for people that don't want them. It is very selfish to stay with a person that wants children when you know that you are never going to be willing to have them.

And just as you think it'd selfish not to have them, I think it's just a selfish to try to make someone have one, ESP when that wasn't in the plan.

Sorry I've seen things turn out badly too often to tell someone to take a chance they don't want.

MizAvalon too.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Her mother just sounds like a bad person.

I will never forget one of my friends in middle school. really sweet girl, talented artist, but her parents always told her and her brother that they were accidents. I knew her two years through girl scouts and I don't think I ever saw her parents at any type of event.

It was really sad