Wish You Could Go Natural???

[♦K.O♦]

Locks, you are so on-point in this thread.

 

[Hair Iam]

Hmmm...
maybe we're just addicted to straight hair
even White women flat iron their hair
everyday just to get that bone straight look...

maybe we need a REVOLUTION though ...
a curly hair revolution or something...
remember the 80s????...
maybe we can bring frizzy back.

JUST A THOUGHT.

You are too funny

 

[Jaizee]

Man, Locks and Hopeful, I have a new-found respect for both of you. You're both so deep!

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Man, Locks and Hopeful, I have a new-found respect for both of you. You're both so deep!

Yes they are and they are so Real! I enjoy reading their post!

 

[hopeful]

I'd love to be natural one day.
Why am I not doing it?
honestly I think it would be to time consuming for me to detangle and all that plus I LOOOVE long hair on me.
So unless I find a way to transition without loosing any length... heck not even then.
Honestly I'am scared I won't like my natural hair,not the texture but the shrinkage and all that .
I also cringe every time I read a thread off a natural complaining about their hair,I'am sooo not ready for this.

Ella, that honesty, keeping it real, will get you closer to getting exactly what you want. Not long after joining LHCF I posted about how afraid I was to go natural. I remember thinking: now I can handle short, relaxed hair or I can handle long natural hair, but short, natural hair? The thought was horrifying to me, I thought I would look ugly and manly, that's the truth. Just saying it out loud was freeing because then I had to go to the next level and admit that I was too feminine to suddenly be manly because I had short hair. Right after that I started seeing pretty, feminine women with short natural hair. And then I had to face how my impatience was hindering me from doing what I needed (and wanted to do) because it really does not take that long to have long(er) hair again. Then I bought myself wigs just in case I could not handle it. I rarely wore my hair out out when it was a twa because I did not like how I looked, I didn't look manly, but to me I didn't look pretty either, so I wore scarves etc. for a few months. It only takes a few months to have enough length (for me anyway) to feel good about how I looked and feel good about my hair. And my wigs are always there when I can't figure out what to do with my hair.

You know being honest can also get you to say out loud or at least quietly to yourself, "I simply choose at least for sometime, to remain relaxed because that is my preference. I love my straight hair and am grateful relaxers are available and that my hair can thrive with them."

 

[hopeful]

Thanks Jaizee and NappyParadise.

 

[PinkPeony]

Ella, that honesty, keeping it real, will get you closer to getting exactly what you want. Not long after joining LHCF I posted about how afraid I was to go natural. I remember thinking: now I can handle short, relaxed hair or I can handle long natural hair, but short, natural hair? The thought was horrifying to me, I thought I would look ugly and manly, that's the truth. Just saying it out loud was freeing because then I had to go to the next level and admit that I was too feminine to suddenly be manly because I had short hair. Right after that I started seeing pretty, feminine women with short natural hair. And then I had to face how my impatience was hindering me from doing what I needed (and wanted to do) because it really does not take that long to have long(er) hair again. Then I bought myself wigs just in case I could not handle it. I rarely wore my hair out out when it was a twa because I did not like how I looked, I didn't look manly, but to me I didn't look pretty either, so I wore scarves etc. for a few months. It only takes a few months to have enough length (for me anyway) to feel good about how I looked and feel good about my hair. And my wigs are always there when I can't figure out what to do with my hair.

You know being honest can also get you to say out loud or at least quietly to yourself, "I simply choose at least for sometime, to remain relaxed because that is my preference. I love my straight hair and am grateful relaxers are available and that my hair can thrive with them."

I know that's right
Awww thank you hopeful that was so sweet of you and all the fears you had are mine as well.

I sometimes ask myself if I'am self-hating just because I don't want to be natural bad enough to transition.But last time I checked I was loving my blackness and my roots just as much as any natural sista.

 

[naijamerican]

I appreciate what you said, Hopeful!

As for me, I have been natural for 7 years and I am contemplating getting a relaxer or texlaxing it. I feel that I have run the gamut of the various styles I could wear - all kinds of braids, twists galore, TWAs, BWAs, etc. My friends know what a staunch advocate I have been for hair health and for some time I was quite militant.

I am now wanting to get a relaxer because honestly, I would like to try having straight hair for a while. It doesn't even need to be long; it could be short and spiky. I want to see how long I can get it. I see myself cycling in out between natural and relaxed hair.

I am glad that I know my hair texture and that I have grown to appreciate it. I am also glad that I know how to make it healthy, to the point that others compliment me on it because I can make it look good. If I choose to relax, I want to see if I can accomplish the same things I have done wearing it naturally. But I am no longer militant, nappy nazi about natural hair because I recognize that for most Black women, a relaxer is a choice and a good option for them at that point in time. It may be for me, it may not be. I might relax, hate it, and transition back to natural. That's cool with me. I haven't done it yet because I am afraid of chemicals and what it can do to my hair, but I don't want to NOT do it just because I'm afraid. To me, that's cowardice and I don't want to be ruled by it. Whatever I decide to do I guess I'll let you all know!

 

[asubeauty]

I really do want to go natural. When I was in college (okay, about six months ago ) I always said that I would go natural when I graduated and that the relaxer I got for the graduation ceremony would be my last.

But now that I'm going to be moving to Ohio (from MS) and starting med school, I feel like that would be too much change. I'm going to another place, doing something totally different. I don't want to have to deal with trying to find a new way to take care of my hair or deal with a hair texture that I don't even remember.

I really don't even know what my hair texture is. I got a relaxer when I was about 7, and when I asked my mom what it was like, she said "Nappy." That's it. I can't even tell from the pictures, because my mom was always trying to make my hair look straight when I was little. My natural hair texture would be very new to me.

 

[PinkPeony]

I really do want to go natural. When I was in college (okay, about six months ago ) I always said that I would go natural when I graduated and that the relaxer I got for the graduation ceremony would be my last.

But now that I'm going to be moving to Ohio (from MS) and starting med school, I feel like that would be too much change. I'm going to another place, doing something totally different. I don't want to have to deal with trying to find a new way to take care of my hair or deal with a hair texture that I don't even remember.

I really don't even know what my hair texture is. I got a relaxer when I was about 7, and when I asked my mom what it was like, she said "Nappy." That's it. I can't even tell from the pictures, because my mom was always trying to make my hair look straight when I was little. My natural hair texture would be very new to me.

I'm sorry I know what your mom said is totally un-pc but it had me laughing so hard.
Ahhh don't cha love mommy's and their un-pc selves.

Ya hair-type huh?

Nappy!!!

 

[gymfreak336]

I went natural for a summer in middle school and it was cool. My mother has always worn her hair in a fro and I really think that her actions changed my view on the hair thing. My mother and father don't really care and didn't raise us to be like " Oh, no, I got some naps, let me reach for the relaxer". I didn't even know people were hung up on that until college. When I was natural ( when I was really little with a press in curl and when I was in middle school that summer), I enjoyed my hair. I went back to being relaxed because I wasn't really good at styling my hair. I didn't learn how to care for it properly, natural or relaxed until I came here. I might go natural again, I might not. Being relaxed or natural isn't an affirmation of my blackness so I don't look at it that deeply.

 

[chayil0427]

Well having been natural I can say that it's something I think everyone should experience at least once. I was natural for about 2 years before I decided to relax again.

Right now I'm really happy with my relaxed hair and plan to keep it this way for a very long time.

Chayil

 

[LocksOfLuV]

Ella, that honesty, keeping it real, will get you closer to getting exactly what you want. Not long after joining LHCF I posted about how afraid I was to go natural. I remember thinking: now I can handle short, relaxed hair or I can handle long natural hair, but short, natural hair? The thought was horrifying to me, I thought I would look ugly and manly, that's the truth. Just saying it out loud was freeing because then I had to go to the next level and admit that I was too feminine to suddenly be manly because I had short hair. Right after that I started seeing pretty, feminine women with short natural hair. And then I had to face how my impatience was hindering me from doing what I needed (and wanted to do) because it really does not take that long to have long(er) hair again. Then I bought myself wigs just in case I could not handle it. I rarely wore my hair out out when it was a twa because I did not like how I looked, I didn't look manly, but to me I didn't look pretty either, so I wore scarves etc. for a few months. It only takes a few months to have enough length (for me anyway) to feel good about how I looked and feel good about my hair. And my wigs are always there when I can't figure out what to do with my hair.

You know being honest can also get you to say out loud or at least quietly to yourself, "I simply choose at least for sometime, to remain relaxed because that is my preference. I love my straight hair and am grateful relaxers are available and that my hair can thrive with them."

I love your post. I love how you are coming from a comforting stance and sharing your emotions rather than just putting down those who are not where you are yet.

I bolded that area because honestly that's how I feel. The first thing I think of when I hear the word natural (with my hair) is tangles and BC. Two of my worst enemies because I do NOT like short hair and/or tangles.

Thank you for sharing your story. Seriously. Hopefully one day I can come to a greater understanding of natural hair and get out of the current mode I am in now.

 

[lisana]

Well having been natural I can say that it's something I think everyone should experience at least once. I was natural for about 2 years before I decided to relax again.

Right now I'm really happy with my relaxed hair and plan to keep it this way for a very long time.

Chayil

Yes, I totally agree for so many reasons that everyone should spend some time with their natural hair sometime in their life. But we are all adults and should be able, in the end, to do what we want. I am so glad for the years I spent as natural. It was a great learning experience for me and it gave me a lot more confidence. There was a time when the thought of being in public with my real hair was horrible. By being natural, I realized that i was beautiful, still. However, just as I started to get that pull in my heart that i wanted to be natural, I also started getting the feeling in my heart that I wanted to be straight. for me to stay natural would have been doing it for someone else, but not for me. How is that any different than those who relax because of society. I like long swinging, relaxed hair. And now, I have he healthiest relaxed hair that I have ever had. I'm really enjoying, It's not fear, or anxiety about society, it's just pure fun and joy.

 

[Chanel's Tresses]

I am really thinking about going natural. I am telaxed now and have been natural before. I usually stretch for about 4-5 months but i love having the versatility of texlaxing. We will see how this next stretch goes. I hadn't planned on texlaxing again until October.

 

[Enchantmt]

I went natural for a summer in middle school and it was cool. My mother has always worn her hair in a fro and I really think that her actions changed my view on the hair thing. My mother and father don't really care and didn't raise us to be like " Oh, no, I got some naps, let me reach for the relaxer". I didn't even know people were hung up on that until college. When I was natural ( when I was really little with a press in curl and when I was in middle school that summer), I enjoyed my hair. I went back to being relaxed because I wasn't really good at styling my hair. I didn't learn how to care for it properly, natural or relaxed until I came here. I might go natural again, I might not. Being relaxed or natural isn't an affirmation of my blackness so I don't look at it that deeply.

The bolded is what people need to keep in mind.

I dont have a problem with the OP's use of the term "creamy crack". Even if I were relaxed I wouldnt have had an issue with it. For some it is like crack. Like for some coke, pepsi, cupcakes or CRACK is crack. For whatever reason, they keep going back to it, even though they (some) dont want to. It's not that deep to make someone feel bad about using it since it's not on the same level of "good hair, bad hair" mindsets that we try to educate people on. I'm not being dismissive of relaxed folx feelings, but this was not used as an insult or accusation to relaxed folx by a natural or anything along that line. It is a relaxed person who has realized she is dependent upon and keeps going back to relaxer's even while she is considering going natural. It's a hairboard term recognized almost anywhere you post, so her use of it is not inappropriate.

Ladies, let's lighten up and stop taking posts off topic by picking apart terminology looking for insults that arent intended.

TY

 

[spelmanlocks]

I was natural for most of my life so right now I have little desire to be natural again. The thought of going back natural does cross my mind occasionally, but I love how I can quickly style my relaxed hair. Although I did have a lot of hair when I was natural, I had a hard time doing different styles. I mainly wore a lot afro puffs, which I got tired of. Then, I was tired of being stuck with the pressing comb and braids. I know there are other natural hair styles, I just couldn't figure out how to do them. I agree being relaxed or natural isn't an affirmation of anyone's blackness. I remember reading the quote, We can have natural hair and still have a processed mind.

 

[Zsazsa6275]

Hey ladies. I have been "natural" (mostly pressed, actually) for 11 years and do not ever plan on going back to a relaxer. There was not a BC nor did I have a weave or braids. I did not plan on going natural but had no choice. I had the bright idea of getting highlights over my relaxed tresses. So, relaxers were out of the question!

My hair has always been long and it took about 2 years for the relaxer to grow/get trimmed out of my hair. Luckily, my hairdresser at the time really took care of my hair. I believe that was why it wasn't necessary for me to cut my hair. So, my transition was relatively easy.

It is possible to make the transition without cutting. But everyone has their own unique situation (climate, lifestyle, hair type, etc.). Whatever your choice, be about 100%.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

This was a really interesting thread....
My two cents:

I've been natural for a little over two years now. B4 that I relaxed for about twelve years. Originally I just didn't have any money to get my hair done. Then I was waiting to find a reliable stylist. Then I read this blog, that I'm constantly wishing I could find again about this woman deciding to go natural. In it she talked about how as much she appreciates women who went natural for very deep and cultural reasons, she wasn't one of them. tThat she went natural haphazardly not to show off her "blackness" or reconnect w/anything, but just b/c she didn't have enough money to perm it, and in the process fell in llove with her natural hair. I totally connected with her, and had my friend cut off my perm the next day.

I just felt like if I could do it without the politics behind it, then I could be natural. If it was just hair, and that's all it was about. I love my natural hair. I can keep it in better condition in this state. I can color b/c it won't kill my hair, which is great for me b/c I'm a color fiend, but also means I'm not completely natural. My hair always smells good, b/c I really never liked the smell of perms, and I feel like I have so many more styles to rock, but my relaxed hair was very limp and boring. (and yes I straighten and use heat, and I don't feel bad about it ) But that's me. It's not everybody. I would never force anyone into it, and even when my friends ask me if they should, I give them my experience, but tell them it's not for everyone. There are good things and bad things, things to get used to, and some things are surprisingly very similar to how my hair was when it was relaxed. I guess what I'm trying to say is at the end of the day it's just hair. Do you, and keep it healthy whatever its state, and reap lots of hair blessings.

 

[InNeedofHairapy]

I love my natural hair texture, but the first time I transitioned to natural, I didn't know what i was doing or how to care for it. I think I'm more informed now, and wouldn't mind being natural again.

 

[Ms_Twana]

Letting relaxers grow out seems to be the thing to do now-a-days. Me and my friends were just talking about this. I think maybe 80% of my friends have let their relaxers grow out, but straighten every two weeks. I'm the only one that actually wear mines in it's natural state. So that may very well be a great option for those that would like to go natural but enjoy straight hair. To me, that's a lot better than relaxing AND straightening. That's just my opinion.

 

[Incredible1ne]

Because I believe deep down some (not all) REALLY don't want to do it. Saying, "I love my natural hair and I want to be natural soooo bad" is the PC thing to say around here. It's basically a way to state how much they love their 'blackness' for some.

It's okay to say that you like being relaxed. No one will look down on you (here).

I just don't understand. If I want something "really" bad I am going ot get it at all costs. ALL costs. But maybe that's just me.

I agree. If you really want to be natural it's only a few (or many) snips away. One post in the past someone even said she'd never be natural that she couldn't stand the look of natural nappy hair. Though that took me aback I appreciated her honesty because I know other people on this board probably felt the same way. They just were not bold enough to say it.
I am natural but I will not ever look down on a woman with relaxed hair when I was doing the same thing just a year ago.

 

[gabulldawg]

Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems that the general concensus of the thread is that relaxers are bad!! I know it's a chemical, but come on! Think about all of the chemicals we use on (or in) our bodies on a regular basis. AND does everyone suddenly have amnesia and forget about all the relaxed ladies with beautiful & thick heads of hair (and I hate to say it, but some that look better than those with natural hair), like Macherieamour?? I voted that I might go natural in the future, but now that I'm thinking about it don't ever forsee myself going natural! That's right -- RELAXER TIL I DIE!!! I remember being natural back in middle school. I remember the HELL that I went through to get my hair done. I remember wearing a ponytail everyday because after I sweat out my hair it was almost IMPOSSIBLE to comb! I remember looking BAD because I had an active lifestyle. And don't nobody try to get an attitude because that was MY experience!

I also have to disagree with those that say natural hair is more versatile. I believe that relaxed hair is more versatile simply because it can accomplish more hairstyles WITHOUT the use of regular heat. What's the point in going natural and having your hair straightened on a regular basis? What's the psychology behind that? If I want my hair straight I can rollerset it. If I want my hair to look natural I can do a braidout, twistout, or bantu knot set (just to name a few options). If I want curls I roll my hair or use perm rods. Really, all of the natural styles I see are quite similar! I love the fact that I can be creative with my hair and not look like anyone else!

Anyway, I guess I am done. I just want to stick up for the relaxed ladies on the board! No one should feel inferior or feel guilty for the choices they make. The beauty of being human is being able to make choices. No one should be looked down on whether they're relaxed OR natural. Sorry this is so long, but it bothers me that people think so negatively about the relaxer. I don't mean to knock being natural, so don't take it that way. But I get sick of people referring to relaxers as if they are bad or are something that they need to stop doing!!!

 

[cocoberry10]

I really want to go natural. But straight hair is my forte right now. If there was some way to achieve straight hair without all the heat then I would go natural in a heart beat. Because it would just be a waist of time going natural then straightening my hair everyday. I'd be bald!

Besides, I think its easier for me to grow my hair out while I'm relaxed. Natural is something that I do want to do one day though...maybe after I reach my hair length goals??

This is where I am too. I love straight styles. However, I actually also like some of the natural styles (twistouts, braidouts), but they are soooo time consuming. And my hair is two totally different textures, so wearing a wash and go is a pain (when I was natural, even getting my hair to coil just right took a long time.) I’m not sure what I’m going to do. Ugh!

 

[Southernbella.]

Letting relaxers grow out seems to be the thing to do now-a-days. Me and my friends were just talking about this. I think maybe 80% of my friends have let their relaxers grow out, but straighten every two weeks. I'm the only one that actually wear mines in it's natural state. So that may very well be a great option for those that would like to go natural but enjoy straight hair. To me, that's a lot better than relaxing AND straightening. That's just my opinion.

That's what I plan on doing most of the time. For me, it was mostly about wanting to see and experience my natural hair...a whole head of it. I still like wearing my hair straight, and I won't be any blacker once I'm fully natural, but I'll at least have the option of wearing my hair kinky or straight.

Plus, and I say this as someone who got to MBL relaxed, my natural hair really does seem healthier. It seems alive, if that makes sense. (I know all hair is dead, but I'm trying to be descriptive. ) Will I be natural forever? I can't really say for sure, but it's just something I have to do. It was calling me. I see what Locks is saying in that if you really feel that way, that you desperately want to go natural, then do it. Pee or get off the pot.

 

[sunnydaze]

That's what I plan on doing most of the time. For me, it was mostly about wanting to see and experience my natural hair...a whole head of it. I still like wearing my hair straight, and I won't be any blacker once I'm fully natural, but I'll at least have the option of wearing my hair kinky or straight.

Plus, and I say this as someone who got to MBL relaxed, my natural hair really does seem healthier. It seems alive, if that makes sense. (I know all hair is dead, but I'm trying to be descriptive. ) Will I be natural forever? I can't really say for sure, but it's just something I have to do. It was calling me. I see what Locks is saying in that if you really feel that way, that you desperately want to go natural, then do it. Pee or get off the pot.

ITA with your entire post, particularly about the natural hair just "seeming" more alive.

 

[CurleeDST]

Ladies I commend everyone for expressing their true honest feelings in the day and age where people are quick to judge you on decisions made as an adult. We are all grown and live in America where we have the right to do most what makes us happy.

I think going natural or relaxing is a personal choice and is not an indictment on anyone's blackness or lack thereof. Are there individuals who straighten their hair because they despise the natural kinks and coils God blessed them with? Of course. Are there people who are so finicky with their hair they love having choices and constantly switch up to keep folks guessing? Of course.

When I first went natural I was hard on those who decided to continue to relax because I was still finding MYSELF and was still going through the mental process of managing and sporting my hair in its natural state. Back in 1994 there weren't as nearly as many products then as there are now focused and marketed specifically to those AA women with natural hair. Curl activator was my friend back then along with the Vidal Sasson curl line of products.

Whatever you all decide keep it real and do what makes you happy and works with your lifestyle. Quite honestly - with 2 small children who has time to sit there and 2-strand twist all day long or even 1 hour? I do not have that type of time anymore! When I was single and dating? Hecky yeah - all the time in the world - I wasn't doing anything on a SAturday morning or afternoon but getting ready for Saturday night! So yeah I could spend the time to twist up my hair, deep condition for 48 hours, sit under the hairdryer for another 12 hours (I am exaggerating) and then undo the twists to only then decide, nah, let me try braids and start over again! LOL! PLaying with natural hair is fun - but does require time if you do not want a bunch of broken hair on the floor because I know for ME, my hair tended to tangle something fierce the longer it grew. That is just the nature of the beast but something we all should know how to manage. I have a 5-year old daughter with natural hair to her waist. Thank God I learned how to manage my hair b/c now I am able to manage hers and she doesn't get a relaxer unless she wants one, can pay for one and is out of my home. Granted, she asked me the other day can she have flat hair like another little girl in her class and I just reminded her of how beautiful her curls and puffy hair was. She said "I am tired of the curlies, I want flat hair". So it starts! But either way - she will know how to manage her natural hair regardless of which other hair option she chooses later on in life.

AGain, congrats to everyone for such candid discussions and keep it going.

 

[DeepBluSea]

The bolded is what people need to keep in mind.

I dont have a problem with the OP's use of the term "creamy crack". Even if I were relaxed I wouldnt have had an issue with it. For some it is like crack. Like for some coke, pepsi, cupcakes or CRACK is crack. For whatever reason, they keep going back to it, even though they (some) dont want to. It's not that deep to make someone feel bad about using it since it's not on the same level of "good hair, bad hair" mindsets that we try to educate people on. I'm not being dismissive of relaxed folx feelings, but this was not used as an insult or accusation to relaxed folx by a natural or anything along that line. It is a relaxed person who has realized she is dependent upon and keeps going back to relaxer's even while she is considering going natural. It's a hairboard term recognized almost anywhere you post, so her use of it is not inappropriate.

Ladies, let's lighten up and stop taking posts off topic by picking apart terminology looking for insults that arent intended.

TY

ITA!!!

This is a great thread. Everyone has expressed their opinions about their hair journey wonderfully. I have not read where anyone was put down for being relaxed or natural. I think some of us are going on past experiences and perhaps our own insecurities about hair. I like this website because all hair types are accpeted. I have seen some beautiful heads of relaxed and natural hair. At the end of the day, our journey is just that: OUR JOURNEY.

I transitioned for about 7 months then BC'd. I believe it was the best thing possible to do for my hair. I am not a DIY person. So, going natural was a bit scary for me. But I've been practicing with my little TWA and looking for products that agree with my hair. I don't think the OP's idea of a perming "addiction" is far fetched because we all know people who are addicted to other hair practices like weaves or braids.

 

[CurleeDST]

It's all good and it is your experience so let me share with you my logic behind some of the decisions I made surrounding being natural.

1. Relaxers are a caustic chemicals (stylists have to wear gloves to apply it) and applying something that caustic on our sensitive scalps over a period of years can do some damage. We do encounter chemicals on a daily basis if we drink, eat packaged foods, clean our homes and toilets, drink soft drinks and smoke - very true. There is a major movement to go Green everywhere.

2. There are many advantaged of straightening with relaxers but I saw the advantages of being natural because that is the way God made me, I was no longer in FEAR of getting my hair wet from rain or swimming in the pool or ocean on vacation. My relatives RUN from the water while on vacation. I am like "what is the point of getting hair freshly done to go on vacation so you can't enjoy the cool beautiful ocean"?

3. I liked the fact I no longer had to worry about booking appointments every few months and spending 3 hours at a time in the shop. I hate going to the beauty salon! They have no consideration of your time and cost too much.

4. I no longer had to worry about using a rat tail comb on my hair. Nothing that water and fingers can't fix. Why use a comb on natural hair? Our natural hair was not meant to be used with combs meant for straight hair - illogical.

5. I felt natural hair was and is versatile. You can wear it straight and mimic a relaxed look or wear it curly/puffy/kinky. YOu can twist it, loc it, curl it and the list goes on and on. Natural hair is more common now, but back when I first went natural I only really saw it on A Diff'rent World and Lauren Hill of the Fugees. No where else was it prevalent so the hairstyles were very unique and made you stand out. I am in corporate America and everyone constantly compliments me on my big natural hair b/c in the board room I stand out because everyone else's hair is flat.

6. I like straightening natural hair for a change of pace and it tends to have more body than straightened relaxed hair and when I get tired of it, just wet it and it reverts right back (if I do not do a hard press which can ruin some of your natural curl and leave you with some straight pieces).

7. It is safer to color natural hair vs. relaxed hair which is more prone to breakage.

8. Who doesn't love the feel of wate ron their scalp daily if they choose? You can do it with relaxed hair but folks tend to do it more with natural hair.

9. Braided out relaxed hair looks nothing like natural hair - to me. It looks like relaxed hair let out of braids with straight ends.

But either way - this is me sharing with you some of my experience and thought process for going natural. Now I have gone back and forth and relaxed after being natural and going natural again after being relaxed. I love the fact I have options and there are some "down" sides to being natural if you aren't prepared for the FACT you can't treat it like you do straight hair. Many of us never learned how to care for our natural hair and thusly get frustrated because it won't behave like we want. Many of us also get frustrated if we learn we have more kinky than curly hair and it doesn't lay down or curl up like we want.

It is all a growing process and I respect everyone for the choices they make.

Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems that the general concensus of the thread is that relaxers are bad!! I know it's a chemical, but come on! Think about all of the chemicals we use on (or in) our bodies on a regular basis. AND does everyone suddenly have amnesia and forget about all the relaxed ladies with beautiful & thick heads of hair (and I hate to say it, but some that look better than those with natural hair), like Macherieamour?? I voted that I might go natural in the future, but now that I'm thinking about it don't ever forsee myself going natural! That's right -- RELAXER TIL I DIE!!! I remember being natural back in middle school. I remember the HELL that I went through to get my hair done. I remember wearing a ponytail everyday because after I sweat out my hair it was almost IMPOSSIBLE to comb! I remember looking BAD because I had an active lifestyle. And don't nobody try to get an attitude because that was MY experience!

I also have to disagree with those that say natural hair is more versatile. I believe that relaxed hair is more versatile simply because it can accomplish more hairstyles WITHOUT the use of regular heat. What's the point in going natural and having your hair straightened on a regular basis? What's the psychology behind that? If I want my hair straight I can rollerset it. If I want my hair to look natural I can do a braidout, twistout, or bantu knot set (just to name a few options). If I want curls I roll my hair or use perm rods. Really, all of the natural styles I see are quite similar! I love the fact that I can be creative with my hair and not look like anyone else!

Anyway, I guess I am done. I just want to stick up for the relaxed ladies on the board! No one should feel inferior or feel guilty for the choices they make. The beauty of being human is being able to make choices. No one should be looked down on whether they're relaxed OR natural. Sorry this is so long, but it bothers me that people think so negatively about the relaxer. I don't mean to knock being natural, so don't take it that way. But I get sick of people referring to relaxers as if they are bad or are something that they need to stop doing!!!

 

[bLackButtaFly]

It's all good and it is your experience so let me share with you my logic behind some of the decisions I made surrounding being natural.

1. Relaxers are a caustic chemicals (stylists have to wear gloves to apply it) and applying something that caustic on our sensitive scalps over a period of years can do some damage. We do encounter chemicals on a daily basis if we drink, eat packaged foods, clean our homes and toilets, drink soft drinks and smoke - very true. There is a major movement to go Green everywhere.

2. There are many advantaged of straightening with relaxers but I saw the advantages of being natural because that is the way God made me, I was no longer in FEAR of getting my hair wet from rain or swimming in the pool or ocean on vacation. My relatives RUN from the water while on vacation. I am like "what is the point of getting hair freshly done to go on vacation so you can't enjoy the cool beautiful ocean"?

3. I liked the fact I no longer had to worry about booking appointments every few months and spending 3 hours at a time in the shop. I hate going to the beauty salon! They have no consideration of your time and cost too much.

4. I no longer had to worry about using a rat tail comb on my hair. Nothing that water and fingers can't fix. Why use a comb on natural hair? Our natural hair was not meant to be used with combs meant for straight hair - illogical.

5. I felt natural hair was and is versatile. You can wear it straight and mimic a relaxed look or wear it curly/puffy/kinky. YOu can twist it, loc it, curl it and the list goes on and on. Natural hair is more common now, but back when I first went natural I only really saw it on A Diff'rent World and Lauren Hill of the Fugees. No where else was it prevalent so the hairstyles were very unique and made you stand out. I am in corporate America and everyone constantly compliments me on my big natural hair b/c in the board room I stand out because everyone else's hair is flat.

6. I like straightening natural hair for a change of pace and it tends to have more body than straightened relaxed hair and when I get tired of it, just wet it and it reverts right back (if I do not do a hard press which can ruin some of your natural curl and leave you with some straight pieces).

7. It is safer to color natural hair vs. relaxed hair which is more prone to breakage.

8. Who doesn't love the feel of wate ron their scalp daily if they choose? You can do it with relaxed hair but folks tend to do it more with natural hair.

9. Braided out relaxed hair looks nothing like natural hair - to me. It looks like relaxed hair let out of braids with straight ends.

But either way - this is me sharing with you some of my experience and thought process for going natural. Now I have gone back and forth and relaxed after being natural and going natural again after being relaxed. I love the fact I have options and there are some "down" sides to being natural if you aren't prepared for the FACT you can't treat it like you do straight hair. Many of us never learned how to care for our natural hair and thusly get frustrated because it won't behave like we want. Many of us also get frustrated if we learn we have more kinky than curly hair and it doesn't lay down or curl up like we want.

It is all a growing process and I respect everyone for the choices they make.

This was a great response. ITA With eveything!!! Can I just add?...

I think this board is all about making women feel good about their hair whether they are relaxed or natural, adn while I cannot speak for anyone, I do apologize for any animosity towards relaxed hair you felt while reading the previous posts.
But the simple fact is a relaxer is a chemical you put on your body, and there are consequences to that, and alot of us(not all) never learned to properly care for our hair, and were left to stylists who were not concerned with the health of the hair, or parents who did the best they could. So there is a little bit of liberation in learning to take care on your own, whether you are relaxed or natural, which I think is more what this board is about. I have some natural inspirations and some relaxed inspirations neither I think is better then the other, just different. But i think the important thing is learning to embrace you, whoever that is, and allowing your hair to be one reflection of who you are.