Wish You Could Go Natural???

[Soliel185]

I've decided that I want to reach my relaxed goal first - while I'm young and still working out 4X a week.( HA!) Plus, I love to dance, and so a press on me would last approx 1.5 seconds. Once I reach that goal ( MBL ) I will start the long transition to natural and reach my natural goal as well. I figure there's time to do both, and at this point in my life I don't have the time or patience to deal with relearning my hair - I feel like I would do more harm than good. I'm also not quite sure I have the confidence. I live in AZ and work in a corporate office without many other blacks, and while I don't think I'd be discouraged from wearing natural hair ( I'm in braids now, and everyone loves it) I don't think I'm ready for the attention that sporting that particular novelty would bring. As it is I get questions everyday about my hair and I know that everywhere I went people would stare just because it's something so new. When I transition, I want it to be for good so I need to be "solid as a rock" in my conviction and ability as well as prepared to have strange people feel me up in public.

 

[BambiEyes]

I will go natural eventually. I can't wait until the day I do just to see what it's like and what I can actually tolerate. Since i'm so into how far my relaxed hair is willing to go, I challenge myself with stretches. I love the feel of my NG texture. However, if i was natual i think i would press often. That is just me. In reality i can rock both and still think i'm hot stuff lol.

Now is not the time for the Natural process considering I may or may not be at BSL now (have a sewin and 13wks post). I'm trying to get to MBL. It's been so long since I been natural.

I should have went natural 2yrs ago when i did chop on my hair to SL...i was so happy with doing away with weaves i didn't know what to do lol

 

[Princess Pie]

I voted maybe, only because I don't like to say never... but, it will likely be never. Just with stretching and "texlaxing," I'm dealing with amazing shrinkage. Most of my 4a stands are pen spring size, and no matter what I do I can't get a comb through them. Basically, I would not be able to style my hair the way I like without damage. Plus, I haven't seen a natural hairstyle yet, that I thought would look good on me. I don't care about the larger issues, only what works for me.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

For me, I loved being natural, but my skill at styling my natural hair was what keeps me going back to relaxed hair. For me, it is easier being relaxed because I know how to style my hair. Texlaxed hair is a happy medium because I get to rock my hair with my curls and still get it semi strait with rollers. I was not educated on how to care for my natural hair. I can only speak for myself when I say this.

 

[Naemone]

I don't care if I sound like a broken record. But I wore relaxers for 30 YEARS without any consciousness. I was a slave to it.

When does one stop being enslaved to it? When you can walk away and function without it and not feel like (mentally/emotionally) inadequate. July 26 marks my FIRST YEAR of being fully natural. Just three years ago, if someone had told me I would be here like this, I would have laughed them out the COUNTRY!

I commend those who were GIVEN the chance to have been taught that relaxing is ONE of SEVERAL styling hair options. I ADMIRE and SALUTE those who were able to put the relaxer brush down and walk away.

And let me clarify that I do not and never did put anybody down for relaxing their hair. I just advocate that every person needs an authentic experience with their natural hair. Also, I believe little girls should not be automatically programmed or conditioned (no pun intended) into relaxing. And I don't know how effective a long-time relaxed mom can be in offering a balanced presentation of that. But that's another convo....

wow, very well said

 

[yodie]

Natural is the only way to go for me.

I now have more hair in my nape than I ever have in my life. Just seems like natural is the only way that I will have some hair.

I'm natural for life!!

 

[moonglowdiva]

Relaxers are CRACK right? Nooooooooooo! A relaxer is only as good as the person applying it.
We want to stop getting them,
but we can't for whatever reasons
... is this the universal consensus? I don't want to stop getting a relaxer. I love my relaxed hair but just because relaxed hair is not right for you doesn't mean that what I want. Lye happen to be a natural occuring substance that corrosive does not mean it is bad. It all about the application process and the person who applies it.

Natural hair is fabulous but I don't need any changes in trying to syle my nappy hair that will loc if i cant comb it. BTW, i have styled natural hair for 10 years and counting. So i know natural hair. Look at the ava. She's 100% natural never processed. I'll let her make the decision to relax. Its not mine to make. Ive made the decision to relax my hair. Its a done deal.

 

[Naemone]

Hmmm...
maybe we're just addicted to straight hair
even White women flat iron their hair
everyday just to get that bone straight look...
maybe we need a REVOLUTION though ...
a curly hair revolution or something...
remember the 80s????...
maybe we can bring frizzy back.

JUST A THOUGHT.

I am glad I am not addicted to something that is not me LOL

 

[Naemone]

Hmmm...
maybe we're just addicted to straight hair
even White women flat iron their hair
everyday just to get that bone straight look...
maybe we need a REVOLUTION though ...
a curly hair revolution or something...
remember the 80s????...
maybe we can bring frizzy back.

JUST A THOUGHT.

But I do know you are on to something, and admire your insight. Keep kicking that wisdom!

 

[Naemone]

I agree with it. Thinking about going natural for me is a scary thing to be honest. Not just knowing and/or refiguring(if that is a word) out what my hair likes, but a mental transition as well. I am just not interested in what *I* think will come out of it (on all levels). I will wait until I am more settled in life and have the mental capacity to deal with other things.

But when I see people praising their natural hair and saying how BAD they want to go natural I can't help anything but think, "why not?" It's not like it's gonna cost you a trillion dollars or your first born. But then again I am a go-getter. If I want something I will get it.

I think some people might want to do it but are concerned about what DH/SO is going to think, friends, relatives, co-workers,etc. Just like if you really like a certain outfit and more than one person comments on how they don't like it. Some people will feel embarrassed and go change and others will keep it moving.

It's just like you were saying, it can be more of being mentally prepared. Some are and some aren't. So they are secretly admiring others who look great wearing their natural hair, and hoping they can look just as great, and have the courage. As well as having everyone else like it.

 

[Naemone]

You know you hit on a good point - this site is very helpful and informative and really teaches one how to do it yourself. I used to wash my own hair in between touch ups and stuff only b/c we could not afford to go to the salon every other week. But I met young ladies in high school who went to the salon every other week religiously. I met women who hvae lost their jobs and still managed to find money for their biweekly appointments. I even met women who didn't know how to WASH their own hair!

I admit, I tried in the past to self relax but never got it as good as the salon and am impressed with those ladies who can self relax with salon results. I am impressed with those ladies who can self trim and rollerset their hair and get salon results! In the end that shifts the power structure of this industry and provides women with more choices than total dependency on a "professional" who may or may NOT have your hair's appearance and best interest at heart.

I love this site for that and enjoy reading the dialogue on relaxed heads of hair along with natural heads of hair because I feel there is something I can learn from everyone and their respective journies and experiences!

I totally agree

 

[pazyamor]

I was natural for about two years...but I decided to relax this past November because I'm very fickle and I don't see anything I do to my hair as a "decision" more of a whim...I know that on the day after my 50th birthday, I'm either locking my hair or cutting it to a gray, cropped, natural...whichever appeals to me at the time.

 

[Songbirdb]

I'm transitioning, but I don't look at relaxers as crack. I think the straight look, however achieved, is what relaxer wearers/flat ironers want, and it's easier for most to get that by using chemicals. I think most women would stop using relaxers if there was a way to achieve the straight look, not have to worry about reversion, and not have to restraighten every few days. JMO

You said it so well! Thats why I love you! I would love to go natural someday. I'm not at all addicted to relaxers. I can go without them for a loooong time. The only reason I do get them is because I do enjoy the straight look and I wash my hair entirely too much to deal with trying to flat iron and press everyday. When I have my relaxer, I can airdry straight, I cant do that with my natural hair. Also, when I'm able to dedicate myself to take that journey to deal with my natural hair, I will. It's not that I NEED to relax, its just at this time, its convient because I don't have the time to dedicate myself to caring for my natural hair. I love my curls dearly! But right now, I'm just gonna stick to what fits into my lifestyle.

 

[Inches411]

well for me i will go natural when i dont want to rock straight styles anymore. I like them now and its easier for me to get a relaxer then to have to blowdry and flatiron only to have it revert soon as some humidity touches it. its not worth my time imo. Now if i want to rock twist and afros etc then i will go natural. So the answer to you question is NO i dont wish i could go natural.

 

[LadyEuphoria007]

I said Yes...but I did my BC on Friday.

A person's crack doesn't have to be a relaxer... my "crack" was hair weave.

No kidding...I have one of those storage bins that you get at Wal-Mart FULL of hair weave...I would change weaves like weekly. Let me stop thinking about it...

Relaxers...not so much.

All that money...Wasted

I'm in rehab right now...my hair is about 3 inches long. (And I Frikkin LOVE it)

 

[carib_n_curly]

i voted yes as i am natural
i've never relaxed and i have never had the urge to even when my mother was drying combing my hair oh lawrd it hurt but from age 4 yes 4 i made the proactive decision NEVER to relax.
i didn't understand relaxers back then but everyone that i knew relaxed their hair didn't have any left by the end and i loved my big old hair.

my mother never forced me and even though she relaxed her hair she was anti relaxererplexed but she was natural until she was 26 and she had me when she was 29 and she is transitioning now.

to be blunt at one point in my life i would of rather drink nail polish than relax my hair, i was never anti relaxer just keep it off my head.

it's a choice but most people don't get one i just wish everyone got to get a choice like my one instead of been made to think you need a relaxer to grow up cause people told me that but i don't listen to strangers.

 

[mz. new~new]

i've been "natural" 3 times... never longer than a year. truth is i just love hair. i like experimenting. right now i'm relaxed w/ a weave. who knows what i'll be rockin' 2 months from now?! i have to change it up. i'll probably spend the rest of my life going back && forth.

 

[chebaby]

i'mtransitioning right now and i am soooooo glad.
i'm only relaxed because i was at such a young age and really didnt think i had a choice. when i thought of natural back in the day i only thought of afros and locks lol. i was so not in the know. i am 21 and i still dont know the real texture of my hair. i am 4 months post relaxer and am loving it. i dont have "bad" or rough new growth so i'm working it

 

[sass*&*silk]

I voted yes! I just had my bc and I love it. My hair and scalp was in a bad way. Now I can relax without the relaxer on my scalp. I can remember as a little girl how excited I was about my long, straight, hot combed hair. It was healty, strong, and no breakage. With the relaxer, every day was a struggle, fighting to keep it from falling out, or breaking. I can truly say that I have completely fallen back in love with my nature hair. This makes the second bc for me, also the last! Check out my picture trail @ http://www.picturetrail.com/homepage/sass-silk

 

[1QTPie]

Hi NappyParadise...I know what you're saying is true maybe when I find a job that will be more acceptable I can be natural one day. My environment doesnt accept it. I work for someone who's made it clear that if we are to go natural we better press it. I dont see the point of being natural and just wearing a press. Yes she's black too and I find that its our own people who are more critical of our hair. Which is so sad.

I know this statement was made many many months ago but...

White women wear their hair naturally everyday. I'm confused. Did someone say this to you? That's discrimination.

I work at one of the biggest financial firms in the world, think Goldman Sachs, Bear Sterns, Morgan Stanley etc and I wear my hair any way I want. They don't even have a a rule about hair color. I also paint my nails any way I want and put on my make up like I'm going to the club when I feel like it. I don't do grunt work, I have a pretty decent position that deals with people regularly. When I first cut my hair off and went back to my natural state I worked for a lobbying firm. They only people that cared about my hair were ignorant BLACK people.

I got hired here when I had my hair in a full out wash n go. They wanted to hire me the first day. So...

Whomever made you think that is a fool and a liar.


I'm exhausted reading some of this thread, let me go back to the Celeb gossip board where the world makes sense.

 

[CheLala13]

I'm on my way NOW!

 

[Soul♥Flower]

I was natural for about two years...but I decided to relax this past November because I'm very fickle and I don't see anything I do to my hair as a "decision" more of a whim...I know that on the day after my 50th birthday, I'm either locking my hair or cutting it to a gray, cropped, natural...whichever appeals to me at the time.

Me neither, I don't care about hair THAT much. I've been natural, got bored relaxed, let my hair do whatever it wanted for a couple months (sometimes years) and relaxed again whenever I got the whim to. I don't know, I just don't think it's that serious. I would shave my head with a straight razor if I felt like it because hair is such a small part of who I am ( don't be surprised if you look up and see something brown and shiny in my siggy either...it's probably just my head.lol)

 

[HappyHairDreams]

I'll probably go natural eventually but being a second year law student, it's really not an option. Right now this is still an "old boy's" field and natural hair styles are generally a "no-no" at most big firms. I'm 13 weeks post right now but I have an interview next week, so I will be relaxing this weekend.

 

[vestaluv1]

I said yes, it was a tough decision
and it's going to be hard and tempting.
I'm almost 5 months post and I just
love running my fingers through
my new growth... well, touching it
feeling the waves... I don't need
relaxers anymore. I think that
if we had flat irons back in the day,
I would have never gotten a relaxer.
My hair before relaxers was it was
down my back, my hair after relaxers
stayed shoulder length... I've come
to the conclusion that if I want to meet
my hair goals and have healthy hair...
I really need to go natural.

I agree. My hair was also longer before I started to relax...(that was almost 6 years ago). Since relaxers, it has broken and just stayed on my shoulders.

I do believe that my hair will be longer and healthier if I hold off the chemicals which is why I'm tranitioning right now. (12 wks post relaxer)

 

[cupcakes]

maybe i will one day when i am old... ive always liked the big hair look
but i ant choppin off all this growth no time soon

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

Just curious> I have heard people say their hair is resistant to relaxers, but never heard of it being resistant to being natural. Or were you saying that it would be unmanageable for you? Thanks for reply.

I wrote that nine months ago and didn't know what I was talking about I'd never really experienced my natural texture...it's actually quite soft.

By saying it was resistant, I thought I had brillo pad hair! But it's not like that at all.

My natural hair with little/no moisture feels real rough and stuff. But when it's moisturized and I cowash a lot, it's real nice!

It's like i'm learning something about myself that i didn't know.

 

[quasimodi]

I voted natural, because I am natural.

I was relaxed, more or less until I was 21 years old. I don't have very many good memories of my relaxed hair. I mostly remember being stuck in a cycle of growing it out, the hair getting brittle and thin, having to cut it off, and starting the entire cycle all over again. One day I said "Enough" and just took a pair of scissors to the whole mess, leaving about an inch or so of new growth. I can identify with the women who've posted that they were afraid of seeming unattractive in their natural hair, concerned of what other people would think, worried about how they would style their natural hair, etc., but, at that point I was so fed up with my relaxed hair that I just didn't care anymore.

I'm learning how to really take care of it, so it can grow to be as thick and healthy as God intended it to be. It's a matter of trial and error, but I'm enjoying the journey. I like my hair thick and spiky, subdued in twists, swept up in braids, throbbing in an afro, exotic in bantu knots. It just seems so...ALIVE, which is a feeling I never had when my hair was relaxed. I like the fact that by adding a product or changing my regimen slightly, I can change the texture/look of my hair.

I'm not sure if I'm one of those those women who can have thick, shiny, healthy looking, long relaxed hair. Perhaps if I had found LHCF before I made my chop, I might've stayed relaxed, but...cie la vie.

I wish I saw more women with healthy, long relaxed hair. Most women I encounter have relaxed hair that is short, brittle, with see-through ends and it just looks terrible. Very rarely do I stumble across women who have decent-looking relaxed hair. I wish there was a way to get all the helpful information on the LHCF to the public at-large so that women can make informed, wise decisions on how to keep their hair healthy and thick, whether they decide to go natural or relax.

Once thing is certain, your head is going to be hit, whether you're relaxed or natural, if you don't know how to properly take care of it.

 

[LynnieB]

I wrote that nine months ago and didn't know what I was talking about I'd never really experienced my natural texture...it's actually quite soft.

By saying it was resistant, I thought I had brillo pad hair! But it's not like that at all.

My natural hair with little/no moisture feels real rough and stuff. But when it's moisturized and I cowash a lot, it's real nice!

It's like i'm learning something about myself that i didn't know.

Isn't it one of the most wonderful feeling?!! When i learned to step up the moisture levels and stopped second guessing what my hair was telling me, it was like an entire whole new world of possibilities just opened right up.

It's not all bad, really

Glad you're really starting to feel good about your growing natural hair and good luck with your transition!

 

[LynnieB]

sorry for that silly yawny face smilie - it's supposed to be a

 

[Diamond48]

I'll probably go natural eventually but being a second year law student, it's really not an option. Right now this is still an "old boy's" field and natural hair styles are generally a "no-no" at most big firms. I'm 13 weeks post right now but I have an interview next week, so I will be relaxing this weekend.

Wow. I've worked in large law firms for many years. Presently I'm at a large firm Downtown LA. This is certainly just not true. From personal experience the other race loves natural hair on black women. Sorry to disagree with you but look I'm here in Corporate America. I get so much respect for my hair alone (5 years natural) that I often think "its only hair". I find that "Hair" can be very powerful. A nice clean fragrant head of natural hair bouncing around the office gets way more respect from what I can tell. Not to change the subject but I love those HE TV Commercials and some days I feel like dancing to make it BOUNCE. I'm tickled with my hair and in the past year just had it flat ironed one time for a wedding. Friends and family kept telling me it looked nice but that they loved my natural so much -- I had to reassure people who originally hated my hairdo after the TWA -- that "yes" I'm still natural. Could not wait to wash that do out. To "Angry Hair". Relaxed or natural its your hair but don't come into this field thinking you'll get ahead because your hair is straight. That concept has been played out for quite some time.