Will you cheat?.......

[Ladybelle]

I have cheated on my husband. I find it remarkable that I am the only wife that did. And I say that without sarcasm.

I got all of that out of the way before I got married. erplexed Not that it makes it any better.... but, it was part of the reason why I waited so long to get married because I intended to be faithful once I did. And, in hindsight- I learned that cheating is a personal, character issue it's not anything caused by someone else.

women just don't talk candidly about this stuff. Even older women, I've met a few who had secrets that would tear their entire families apart.
Maybe we(women) should try to be more open with each other, there's healing in honesty i think.

 

[YankeeCandle]

Like others have suggested, you can never state "I would NEVER do XYZ" until you are faced with the situation. Yes, you too might eat human flesh if actually finding yourself stranded on that lifeboat at sea...

Also as others have stated, I fervantly HOPE I would not betray trust or break promises (yes, a promise to be exclusive/monogamous is your word as much as a marriage vow is).

I think asuperwoman's idea is an interesting one--that the cheating is all about the cheater and doesn't really depend on the actions or personality of the partner they are cheating on. There seems to be truth in that.

However, having said all that, I know from my past behavior that I have a problem with guilt (carrying it basically for the rest of my life) and that I would be extra-hesitant to get into a situation that would trigger a lifetime of guilt.

But the single biggest deterrent to my cheating would be thinking of the super-human kindness and goodness of my partner (of 6 years and he's the only man I'd consider marrying one day down the road). The thought of harming an innocent who is not only himself loyal and faithful BUT who blissfully believes the best of me and has implicit trust in what he thinks is my own goodness...this would be a big red stop sign to me.

I agree with asuperwoman that we can't blame the cheating on the cheater's partner/spouse. But, to be totally honest with you, I do believe that I would have an easier time (conscience-wise) cheating on a man with several irritating or offensive character flaws (petty, secretive, purposely ornery, controlling, immature, etc.) or whom I've been fighting viciously with than with a man I know to have the heart of a newborn lamb.

It's sort of like how many meat-eaters don't think twice about consuming adult cow, sheep, or fish, but bite their lips over the thought of veal, baby vension (i.e. Bambi), or other cuddly critters we idealize.

 

[nomoweavesfome]

I still believe there is a remnant of women and men for that matter who would never. Let me also preface that I would like to know what type of relationship are we talking of here. Boyfriend/girlfriend? or marriage? Christian or non christian? I know personally as an unsaved/ backslidden person in a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship: I have in the past. Now that I know better, am older, saved and married, I would never. I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I KNOW -NEVER. I would seriously wait until I was divorced (not separated either) or one of us died before I would cheat.

 

[NOEChic]

if you have fantasized about another man, watched porn, or talked to another man about getting together you have CHEATED...

 

[spelmanlocks]

I will never cheat while married. I grew up in a household with this type of drama and I have no desire to have this element in my adult life and don't quite understand why so many people do this with all the drama and issues it brings to a relationship.

 

[Ladybelle]

I still believe there is a remnant of women and men for that matter who would never. Let me also preface that I would like to know what type of relationship are we talking of here. Boyfriend/girlfriend? or marriage? Christian or non christian? I know personally as an unsaved/ backslidden person in a boyfriend/ girlfriend relationship: I have in the past. Now that I know better, am older, saved and married, I would never. I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I KNOW -NEVER. I would seriously wait until I was divorced (not separated either) or one of us died before I would cheat.

ITA, couldn't have said it better. I know now, that I would never cheat. Period.

when i was a child, i thought as a child & spoke as a child but when I became a WOman, I left those childish things behind me.

Yep, what you said sums it up IMHO.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I'm really surprised to see some ladies on here being honest about cheating. The sad thing is I fully expect to see it thrown back in thier faces at a later time on here.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I'm not married but I have cheated in the past because I wasn't in the Lord and I was satisfied with the guy I was dating coloring skills..now that Im saved and on track with God I wouldnt cheat married or not...its just not worth it..

 

[Ivonnovi]

Yep. Not proud of "cheating" but acknowleging that sometimes....sometimes.....that makes the "marriage" more "bearable".

Example: When things got hard for him (work, $, & etc) my ex thought it was OK to be routinely blatently disrespectful to me, I was young with 2 small children and did not want to be a single parent so I kept quiet to "hold the family together"
The man called me a "*****" so many times my children started to call me that instead of mommy. (no joke).
Any who, me being the submissive and "very supporting wife" I soon made it a point to show him what a "*****" reallllllly was.

I'm not saying this makes it right, but I did make it 3 more years before I finally through in the towel.