Why we shouldnt settle

ebonyhair

Well-Known Member
Interesting artcle someone emailed me

First Lady Michelle Obama's First Boyfriend Speaks Out :

A man named David Upchurch is now telling media sources about his stint as First Lady Michelle Obama's first boyfriend. The then 18-year-old Mrs. O was escorted by him to her Whitney Young High School prom in Chicago . They grew up together, were neighbors in the Chi, and David now lives in Colorado Springs , CO .
He says the reason they broke up is because he didn't have his life together and he was "a screw up". He says: "I always knew Michelle was special and would make a difference in the world." I guess the First Lady wasn't taking any ish even back then. Seven years later she met a law student named Barack Obama. And the rest is history. She did not settle and She did so much better!

This is a good example why we should never compromise , but most of all why we should wait for who GOD has for us!

 
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You are so right!!
We tend to settle for people that we are not compatible with, when God has someone better for us.
 
I will not settle! My friend did, now she is preggo with twins and still trying to plan a wedding. SO SAD!
 
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Amen'd...

A guy at my church last night said, "You can marry someone just because they're saved if you want to, but if you're not attractive..." I started laughing so hard because I've been thinking for a while I'll probably have to settle for a good man, I'm not completely attracted to. He reminded me that I can having the beauty with the brains and the godliness.
 
I will NEVER settle and if that makes me a snob tattoo it on my forehead.

I've been watching tonyatko's videos and she speaks about this.

I'll make sure I get everything including meeting his parents before I make any life changing commitments. If alarm bells go off early attend to them ASAP because your body is more intune with what is really going on and these alarm bells will become explosions if you continue to settle. Pity doesn't guarantee your safety

Thanks for this topic. @ least MO's ex recognises he was not good enough for her.
 
i concur--never settle--michelle didnt and u dont have to either!

YOU can have it all-good man-fine man-man who loves u to pieces--mentally- spiritually, emoitonally, financially----and etc

whenever i hear a woman say i met a man but he doesnt have xyz or etc etc--and i have xyz im like why r u puttin urself through that--u deserve better

if you have xyz and your man doesnt at LEAST have xyzzzzz--then wtf is the point--not sayin hes a bad guy--but you deserve better! plain and simple
 
I will NEVER settle and if that makes me a snob tattoo it on my forehead.

I've been watching tonyatko's videos and she speaks about this.

I'll make sure I get everything including meeting his parents before I make any life changing commitments. If alarm bells go off early attend to them ASAP because your body is more intune with what is really going on and these alarm bells will become explosions if you continue to settle. Pity doesn't guarantee your safety

Thanks for this topic. @ least MO's ex recognises he was not good enough for her.

I know that's right...Michelle is my girl and this just confirms why! I've been living this way for a while now. Wish I knew this a long time ago as it could have saved me a whole lot time and energy that I can't ever get back.

Do tell where I can see this tonyatko...YouTube? If not, post the link!
 
Do you all define settling as when someone just makes do and marries a person even if you are not fully satisfied with them in one way or another because they fear someone better will never come along???

Just trying to clarify so that I know we all mean the same thing.
 
I view settling is they dont meet my non-negotiables. Everyone's non-negotiables (if you have standards at all :look:) are different. That can be religion, looks, financial status, occupation, etc... anything that he must have before you even consider him for a second date.:yep:

In short, yeah I am thinking someone better willl come along.

Do you all define settling as when someone just makes do and marries a person even if you are not fully satisfied with them in one way or another because they fear someone better will never come along???

Just trying to clarify so that I know we all mean the same thing.
 
If you settle for less today you will have more problems tomorrow!

If you settle for less now than you will have more problems tomorrow is so true and on point. I look back at my relationships and I settled. I settled because I believed that I was not worthy or unable to get the type of relationship I wanted.
 
Amen'd...

A guy at my church last night said, "You can marry someone just because they're saved if you want to, but if you're not attractive..." I started laughing so hard because I've been thinking for a while I'll probably have to settle for a good man, I'm not completely attracted to. He reminded me that I can having the beauty with the brains and the godliness.

GIRL SO TRUE! My cousins tell me I am too picky. The ones who have been with their baby daddy for 10 years and have 3 kids!!!!
I am 25 with no kids, and one of my cousins had the nerve to ask if I could conceive!!!:cry4:Just because I didn't want to be some man's baby mama? Some people can be so cruel!

But anyways, I am still refusing to settle and take BS. Come correct or go home!
 
Thats crazy but its so true. If youre young and single (never married) with no child, you either get the :perplexed look or the :grin: look. Its almost like being a virgin :lachen:. I have people around me still trying to make it work with men they been with for 10+ years, and its like are you serious? Why is it that some women just have to have this ONE particular man and if she dont make it work with this ONE particular man like your future wont be anything without him? Please that negro is doing just enough to keep you from having sex with someone else, thats it....:offrant:

But I understand the soul ties of being with someone so long.

GIRL SO TRUE! My cousins tell me I am too picky. The ones who have been with their baby daddy for 10 years and have 3 kids!!!!
I am 25 with no kids, and one of my cousins had the nerve to ask if I could conceive!!!:cry4:Just because I didn't want to be some man's baby mama? Some people can be so cruel!

But anyways, I am still refusing to settle and take BS. Come correct or go home!
 
I know that's right...Michelle is my girl and this just confirms why! I've been living this way for a while now. Wish I knew this a long time ago as it could have saved me a whole lot time and energy that I can't ever get back.

Do tell where I can see this tonyatko...YouTube? If not, post the link!

I'm so happy that you recognise that you've been living this way. That's always the first step right? I wish you all the best with your journey to getting it for you :yep:

www.youtube.com/tonyatko

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj-ilYLgfL8

part two

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vXnw8waOYo

she is brilliant.
 
If you settle for less now than you will have more problems tomorrow is so true and on point. I look back at my relationships and I settled. I settled because I believed that I was not worthy or unable to get the type of relationship I wanted.

This was me only last week. The dreaded abusive ex got back in touch and I fell for it. After DEEP reflection I realised this isn't what I want. It's so not worth putting my own life @ risk just because I feel lonely for companionship and peer pressure because all my girls have guys. I've seen with my own eyes that the right man comes along when you least expect it. I take that as stay busy and live your life soon he will ask for an invitation.
 
Thank you for posting this story OP! I too will never settle and will be telling idiots about this when they feel the need to question me about my love life.
 
Do you all define settling as when someone just makes do and marries a person even if you are not fully satisfied with them in one way or another because they fear someone better will never come along???

I don't really see the difference. Either way, if that's not the man you want and you decide to keep him; that's settling in my book, regardless of the reason.
 
I don't really see the difference. Either way, if that's not the man you want and you decide to keep him; that's settling in my book, regardless of the reason.


I get what you are saying. But sometimes the person you settle with is actually great in every way and the guy you wanted was a loser. In this case, I don't see it as settling as much as being with a guy who is just no good.
We woman have choices...and altough I think women can get what they want..not everything is 100 percent perfect..and that is just life.
 
I've settled in the past b/c I didn't want to be accused of being another black woman not being open, too picky, not giving a guy a chance and all that good stuff. It's all a load of crap.

Like I've said many times in this forum, guys don't make excuses for what they want. They might have someone to pass the time with, but they eventually wait for what they want. Most of the time.
 
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