Why The Fascination With White Men on This Site?

[Alpha Female]

I've been a 'lurker' for awhile, but reading the constant posts on white men drew me out to make my first post. Go figure - I joined this site for tips on long, healthy hair, and ended up posting to make a political statement! Why does this site seem to focus so much on black women and white men? Don't get me wrong, I've dated all kinds myself - African-American, Caucasian, Hispanic, etc., but what drew me to them was their ability to look beyond color, and love whom they loved regardless of the shade of a person's skin. If that's true for most people - that you love because of personality, inner beauty, how a person treats you or makes you feel, etc., why does it matter who's dating or married to white men? Just a question...

...And glad to join the boards - I've already picked up some great hair tips!

 

[gone_fishing]

That's one heck of a first post.

Truth is, it doesn't really matter.

I watched a show this morning that reminded me, we spend too much time in everyone's business and that if we spent as much time tending to our own affairs as we tend to everyone else's we'd have our lives in much better order.

I specifically remember this speaker saying we look at ourselves with rose colored glasses and use a magnifying glass for everyone else.

I believe there are right reasons and wrong reasons for people getting into interracial relationships but I also KNOW that it is impossible for me to determine what a specific person's motives are and therefore I will never judge them for their choice.

 

[Xavier]

Women of Color all over, are having discussions like this not just LHCF. I think it has to do with the fact that some of us are just tired and want to try something new. While others just like any type of man, and color is not a factor in their decision to date an individual. Using the word fascination makes white men seems like they are of another species or a rare breed. There are many topics that drawn interest here, and IR relationships and race threads just happen to be one of them, just like IRL.

 

[cocoberry10]

Alpha Female:

The ladies on this board aren’t just fascinated with white men. They are just as fascinated with Latin men, Arabic men, Indian men, purple men, blue men, and little green men too (just kidding)

But seriously, I think the women on this board discuss interracial relationships because it is a hot topic in our community right now. I feel like some people get reference or clarification about this topic from those that have experienced it. I also think there are a lot of threads about Black men too, but that's just my opinion! And I agree with you about dating someone because you are honestly interested in them, not b/c they are a certain race.

 

[gone_fishing]

Hhaha...we are just boycrazy in general. It's just natural to ask more questions about those we know the least about...

A lot of us grew up with black boys...we know what they're about. So what's the need to ask about 'em.

 

[cocoberry10]

Found this while fishing through old threads

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=110127

May be interesting or funny or both to you, not sure!

 

[MissScarlett]

That's one heck of a first post.

Truth is, it doesn't really matter.

I watched a show this morning that reminded me, we spend too much time in everyone's business and that if we spent as much time tending to our own affairs as we tend to everyone else's we'd have our lives in much better order.

I specifically remember this speaker saying we look at ourselves with rose colored glasses and use a magnifying glass for everyone else.

I believe there are right reasons and wrong reasons for people getting into interracial relationships but I also KNOW that it is impossible for me to determine what a specific person's motives are and therefore I will never judge them for their choice.

I know right, just come on right outta the bag

 

[klb120475]

I know right, just come on right outta the bag

She fits right in with the rest our crazy butts..

 

[klb120475]

Personally I'm opened to receive Boo in whatever color/race God has him in. Shoot, I ain't gon miss out on my future DH cuz his skin color doesn't please others.

 

[BonBon]

Personally I think its something that we havent been "allowed" to talk about so long and outdating rates are growing.

Sometimes you get spaces in time where its like Pandoras box, for example I remember when paedophilia in famillies was first exposed I couldnt open a newspaper or watch TV without seeing something or other even though its been going on for hundreds of years.

At the moment in the UK the press are talking a LOT about Black on Black crime all of a sudden but young Black boys have been dying for so long. Again with the Black women in IR, the double standard has been in place for so long and theres been a burst of interest recently. Also so many Black women have been under the impression we dont have enough crossover appeal to be taken seriously by other races except for sex. I dont feel that way but I have come across many ladies that do and I feel thats a really bad way to feel. Also I have been told by Black men and some Black women (!) that "White men only want you for sex". Its just sexist, thats why I never tell Black women to go out with White men because thats not the point.

The point is we will have equal rights to do what we want if we wish to do so the way Black men do over again, and to know that many people find us beautiful. Thats why I happy people are talking about it.

 

[dlewis]

I think this board is just full of horny women. They want what they can get white black, latin, greek, african, etc..... They just want a man.














j/k There has been $100,000,000,000 topics on this suject, not to be rude. (I'm really not like that)

Welcome Alpha Female!

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Welcom, Alpha Female!! Great first post. I just think that there are more white men than other races; therefore, black women have more interaction with white men than Hispanic, Asian, etc. men. I also think that more eyebrows are raised when black women and white men are together because that's rarely seen in the U.S. I'm interested in how other cultures, particularly in European countries handle this issue. It doesn't appear to be that big of a deal because there are more black women/white male IR's in England, for instance. But I've wondered if black women in other cultures/societies discuss similar issue or confront similar problems.

 

[ShaniKeys]

I've been a 'lurker' for awhile, but reading the constant posts on white men drew me out to make my first post. Go figure - I joined this site for tips on long, healthy hair, and ended up posting to make a political statement! Why does this site seem to focus so much on black women and white men? Don't get me wrong, I've dated all kinds myself - African-American, Caucasian, Hispanic, etc., but what drew me to them was their ability to look beyond color, and love whom they loved regardless of the shade of a person's skin. If that's true for most people - that you love because of personality, inner beauty, how a person treats you or makes you feel, etc., why does it matter who's dating or married to white men? Just a question...

...And glad to join the boards - I've already picked up some great hair tips!

Amen to that and your courage to ask it. I've asked myself the same question and ended up with a question mark. I do not believe in racism, I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but to me there's only one race which is the human race. And then you have different ethnicities and different cultures. I feel that talking about 'racism' all the time breathes more life into it. I'm not saying let's pretend like we all look alike and we'll be fine, not at all. My idea is we should stop thinking of different ethnicities in terms of social stratification, rather we should look at it like the alphabet (just an example), you have a, b, c,...etc, and none is more important or better than the other. And people might label this as 'naive', but the truth is that we're the ones who create the reality in which we live, because we've been told that white equals good and black equals bad and I just feel that us continuing this way of thinking isn't helpful at all. In fact I believe it's the reason for this whole fascination with white men like you said. We project everything that is wrong within the black community vs. how whites are doing and don't look at the bigger picture. And also, we tend to give a skincolor to abstract things like affection, caring, loving,...etc. It's sad.

 

[Alpha Female]

Ladies...I feel you. I'm always encouraging my Black sisters to open up their minds, and not limit their opportunities by tuning out White men (or any other race of men!) just because of the color of their skin. I'm like, hey, if he's a Christian man with a good heart; treats you & your kids right; protects & provides the way a man is supposed to, etc., etc., I don't care if he's green! (Well, maybe I do care if he's green - could be a sign of some undercover, lurking health issue)!

I agree that this issue is getting much play in the media, primarily because it's a newer occurrence vs. black men/white women and other interracial combinations. But I also see many Black people (men & women) placing a premium on a White mate - like that's the prize of life. And they do so at the expense of other races, particularly their Black counterparts, not realizing they're falling into the same mental trap first propagated during slavery times that 'White is first-class, and anything less is second-best.'

Certainly, we shouldn't limit our possibilities by dating only Black men. Beautiful, intelligent, Christian men come in all shapes, sizes, and colors (it's like being a kid in a candy store!), and while everyone has personal preferences, no one race is better than any other. Besides which, with the Hispanic population now the #1 minority group and taking up residence in every state in the country, I'm thinking a Latino brother is where it's at! Just Kidding!

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Ummmmm, white men are so cool!!! No really!!!! I have a lot of them as good friends. I don't feel stupid/silly telling them my business ideas, future aspirations, etc. I need to talk about something else besides who just appeared on 106 & Park!!!!!! They have their downfalls like any other man though.

 

[beadedgirl]

ALPHA i'm fascinated with all types of MEN!!!!!!!!!!.....like DL said "a bunch of horny women on this SITE"!!

 

[firecracker]

chile some folx find wyte amusing & can't seem to get past the fact a man is simply a man no matter the color. I don't discriminate nor marinate in black or wyte's juice. I think a lot of the ladies simply found wyte loving women they can relate to & simply shot the **** with here.

 

[PinkPeony]

I personally don't really understand the fascination since I grew up with IR dating being absolutly normal.

However I do think that AA women weren't allowed to date IR for so long and now it's a hot topic as more women explore their options beyond black men.
Good for them I say.

It only bothers me when some say that all AA or Black men are dogs,White men are dogs too,so are Asians and Hispanics.

 

[deltagyrl]

Ummmmm, white men are so cool!!! No really!!!! I have a lot of them as good friends. I don't feel stupid/silly telling them my business ideas, future aspirations, etc. I need to talk about something else besides who just appeared on 106 & Park!!!!!! They have their downfalls like any other man though.

Hilarious.

 

[Country gal]

That's one heck of a first post.

Truth is, it doesn't really matter.

I watched a show this morning that reminded me, we spend too much time in everyone's business and that if we spent as much time tending to our own affairs as we tend to everyone else's we'd have our lives in much better order.

I specifically remember this speaker saying we look at ourselves with rose colored glasses and use a magnifying glass for everyone else.

I believe there are right reasons and wrong reasons for people getting into interracial relationships but I also KNOW that it is impossible for me to determine what a specific person's motives are and therefore I will never judge them for their choice.

Excellent post. I have been thinking about this myself. I can be so critical of others but don't have my house in complete order. I told my boyfriend, I am going to focus on me and mine.