Why men love bishes.

dtachi said:
These are so true.

6. It is your attitude about yourself that a man will adopt.

9. If the choice is between her dignity and having a relationship, the b**** will prioritize her dignity above all else.

23. Before sex, a man isn’t thinking clearly and a woman is thinking clearly. After sex, it reverses. The man is thinking clearly and the woman isn’t.

43. If you allow your rhythm to be interrupted, you’ll create a void. Then, to replace what you give up, you’ll start to expect and need more from your partner.

99. Truly powerful people don’t explain why they want respect. They simply don’t engage someone who doesn’t give it to them.
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I like #99
 
Okay said:
Damn this book has like 10 pointers/tips per page. How the hayel you supposed to remember all of it? :lol:
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Okay
It may be helpful to make up and the repeat a summary phrase to yourself. It could be something like, "I am the prize."
 
Had this book over 6 years ago and never got around to reading it. Lost it for sure, but downloaded the e-book to my phone last week and now I'm starting it. It is a HUGE reality check for me and my behavior.
 
Im almost finished reading it. Used some of the lessons so far. Have two dates this week lol.

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
..SO and I were supposed to have date night today. He texts me that he's going for drinks with his BF. Normally, but now I would have had a fit and got angry which would lead to a fight. However, this time I texted 'OK, have fun'

...I'm headed to the movies. I'm going to get dressed up and probably hit up happy hour somewhere before the movie. No phone call to be answered and if he does call, I'll text him back.

My time is not to be wasted. I love this book...
 
qtslim83 said:
..SO and I were supposed to have date night today. He texts me that he's going for drinks with his BF. Normally, but now I would have had a fit and got angry which would lead to a fight. However, this time I texted 'OK, have fun'

...I'm headed to the movies. I'm going to get dressed up and probably hit up happy hour somewhere before the movie. No phone call to be answered and if he does call, I'll text him back.

My time is not to be wasted. I love this book...
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See, this where I'd mess up. I'd want him to KNOW that he effed up and still go out.
 
Fine 4s said:
See, this where I'd mess up. I'd want him to KNOW that he effed up and still go out.
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In the past I would do the same thing and it would turn into an argument and then it's my fault because I would get angry and emotional. This time, ill address it calmly and in a direct manner
 
Girl we were almost on the same wave length. Even after I read this I still spazzed out!

He forgot about the tix and I refused to remind him. Then I got upset on my way to the concert. Then he asks me if I made plans with someone else? I felt like saying yes! Him asking me that felt like he was trying to get out of it...and on and on the assumptions went. Not sure if its the same situation as you but GRRRrrrrr....I mean waste my Beres tickets?!!!!! How dare he?

I screamed on him. I'll try better next time :(
 
I've flipped through this book but never actually read it. The best advice to be found in ANY r/ship book is this:
1. Men don't respond to words, they respond to no contact.
2. Men don't respond to words, they respond to action.

I used to be all about being treated well but i went about it wrongly, by EXPLAINING what it meant and by SHOUTING/SCREAMING/SULKING when i wasnt getting it. I sulked a lot in some relationships, and screamed a lot in others. I learnt to keep my mouth shut and let my actions do the talking.
If you really dont have a life though these ideas wont work because you'll be faking it and the frustration YOU feel will show through. Respect and value yourself and your time with or without a man, and your actions will be authentic. Try to ACT like you value yourself and your time with nothing to back that up (you're just being manipulative), and you will look like a fool and worse, feel like one. Nothing wrong with faking till you make it but faking without any effort to make it real is a waste of time and effort and will never get lasting results.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Slll mini using LHCF
 
I am only a few pages in and I love this book so far. I am such a doormat and complain about being a doormat. Now I know why I am tearing like that. I honestly had no clue why.
 
I started reading this. Thank you so much for posting the link!!! I don't know what happened, but I instinctively knew all of this when I was in high school. I always kept guys and especially my then bf on his toes. I lost a lot of this, but I'd have my good **** moments here and there. Looking back at my most recent dealings with guys, I can't believe how needy and how much of a doormat I had become. I say had because I'm over that crap. Being the Nice Girl is for the birds!
 
I decided to brush up on this book. I re-read it and am in love with it all over again. What she shares really are timeless principles. She's basically teaching women how to stop being victims and start setting good boundaries with people (especially men). I'm so happy I bought it! I brush up on it every few years or so. I need it and it's that good!
 
caribeandiva said:
I decided to brush up on this book. I re-read it and am in love with it all over again. What she shares really are timeless principles. She's basically teaching women how to stop being victims and start setting good boundaries with people (especially men). I'm so happy I bought it! I brush up on it every few years or so. I need it and it's that good!
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Yup. As a matter of fact, I need to brush up on it too. I found it after I was heartbroken over my first love. I recall an ex friend laughing hysterically AT me for reading a book about relationships. Fast foward many years, who's married and who hasnt had a real relationship in their adult life.


This book should be LHCF relationship required reading.
 
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I also wanted to add: Don't tell your friends when you apply some of these ideas. I did that and my friends tried to discourage me from doing those things. To them it's playing games. They told me I should be more open, available and more vulnerable to men. They call me a female player! I take that as a compliment. :drunk:
 
hopeful said:
I think it especially applies to them because they can be so self-centered. If you are not the one, yes, they will likely KIM, but if they really like you I think they will respond well, respect you, and appreciate you not being a pushover. Alpha men love a challenge and a B is a challenge.
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Because the like button wasn't enough. Preach Gurl!!!
 
caribeandiva said:
I also wanted to add: Don't tell your friends when you apply some of these ideas. I did that and my friends tried to discourage me from doing those things. To them it's playing games. They told me I should be more open, available and more vulnerable to men. They call me a female player! I take that as a compliment. :drunk:
Click to expand...

I hate that type of advice.

When I was talking to one of my acquaintances about the ideas in the book, she completely disagreed with them because according to her, the book "doesn't encourage women to embrace their 'feminine' energy" and we should talk to men about how we feel , be receptive and be 'soft' (she said this after I shared the tip "Men don't respond to words, they respond to actions"). What I told her was that one of the main ideas of the book is that talking about "feelings" with men rarely gets you the result you want (changed behavior). If you've told him once already that you don't like when he does something in particular and he continues to do it, then you talking to him about it was not effective and you need to stop talking and show him what you mean through your actions.

And when it comes to feminine and masculine energy, the advice in this book helped me to become more receptive and in touch with my 'feminine' energy. It helped me learn to set boundaries and to have a standard of how I feel I should be treated and to be open to a man respecting my boundaries and meeting my standards without me changing them. I also learned to be OK with the possibility of things NOT working out with a man if he does not respect those boundaries.

In the past if I was dating someone I really liked, I would try to do and say what I *thought* were subtle things to show him how compatible we were...basically I would 'work' to get him to see I was girlfriend material. Now that I look back, that was actually pretty aggressive "masculine" behavior and it never worked.

Lol I didn't mean for this post to be so long :look:, but this book really did change my perspective.
 
I love this book. And Sherry Argov is a funny writer! This book always keeps me laughing. :grin: I have had this book for many years, and every now and then I refer back to it (just like "The Rules") to brush up on some of the advice.

I think women who are instinctively "nice" by nature like myself need this book a little more than others who are more like the book mentions by nature.

I do believe in good communicating, but if after once or twice of good communication you find the man just isn't "getting it", then by all means, SHOW him by your actions what you will and will NOT accept. I don't believe in playing games with men (I wouldn't want games being played on me), but sometimes men just don't get it until you show them through your actions. The thing is though, you have to do it without any "resentment". So, if you do go out by yourself or with your girls because he canceled out on you, go out and do you, but do it with happiness. Don't do it and then proceed to talk about him negatively with your girlfriends while out, or tell him "we've gotta talk" afterwards. Don't act okay and then give him a long dissertation about it afterwards. Your actions will speak louder than words, trust me. Her advice works. But you have to do it in a way that shows him that you care more about YOURSELF than you do about any relationship.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
So, if you do go out by yourself or with your girls because he canceled out on you, go out and do you, but do it with happiness.
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I briefly dated a guy who pulled that with me... We had plans to go out...he said something came up and he would call me later to meet up... I tried calling him and texted, he didn't respond to either.... As soon as I texted..."I am going out with my sister, okay?" He immediately called... I didn't answer the phone or his texts all night. I texted him back at 2am. He was livid...actually, the truth is : I stayed home and went to bed... At 2am when I texted him, I was up to use the bathroom. But told him I was just getting in. He complained about that for weeks. I never told him the truth. He never tried that again, for the remainder of our brief relationship."Nobody puts Baby in the corner."
 
GetHappy2014 said:
I briefly dated a guy who pulled that with me... We had plans to go out...he said something came up and he would call me later to meet up... I tried calling him and texted, he didn't respond to either.... As soon as I texted..."I am going out with my sister, okay?" He immediately called... I didn't answer the phone or his texts all night. I texted him back at 2am. He was livid...actually, the truth is : I stayed home and went to bed... At 2am when I texted him, I was up to use the bathroom. But told him I was just getting in. He complained about that for weeks. I never told him the truth. He never tried that again, for the remainder of our brief relationship."Nobody puts Baby in the corner."
Click to expand...


That move gets 'em every time!!!!
 
hopeful said:
I think it especially applies to them because they can be so self-centered. If you are not the one, yes, they will likely KIM, but if they really like you I think they will respond well, respect you, and appreciate you not being a pushover. Alpha men love a challenge and a B is a challenge.
Click to expand...

Rethinking this statement. In the long run if you want to be respected and cherished I think it all comes down to choosing the right man, a man that respects and cherishes women in general and black women in particular. And unfortunately as fun/cool/exciting and attractive as Alpha men are, many of them simply believe they are superior to everyone they come in contact with, and must have more power in any relationship be it business, friendship, or romance. They want to dominate and I don't think real cherishing can exist within that dynamic. Again, not saying all, but IMO many.
 
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