"Why dont you do something with your hair?" Short vent

[Desert Skye]

This comment bothered me.

Yesterday I went to a family party and saw my friend I havent seen in a few months. One of the first things she mentioned when she saw me was how soft and long my hair was now. I thanked her but then she went on and said "Why dont you do anything with your hair? If I had your hair I would be looking fly and doing all sort of things with it..." I was alittle insulted but I didnt want to show it so I just gave a half smile and changed the subject.

I mean it is true, I am not to skilled at styling my hair. Whenever I try, it never last through the day. I was thinking about getting bangs. But anyway why MUST I style my hair? Why cant it just grow and be a covering for my head like it was intended. I dont want to make my hair a piece of art or anything. I think this bothers me because she is not the first person who has said this to me. What gives?

Ok now I feel better I typed this out.

Anyone else feel their hairstyles are not as FLYYY as it could be?

 

[KiniKakes]

My sister gets on me sometimes, because she says that all i ever do is wear it down, straight, in a plain wrap style. She is just teasing me, but in a way also lives vicariously thru me, because she wears her hair in beautiful, natural locs. She would like to see me wear more curls, updo's, etc.... just some variety in general.

But heck, im like you! Im a simple girl. My regular style (down) is just fine with me. Since i bun so often anyway, it feels "special" to me. Truthfully, im just not creative, and im kinda lazy........... Plus, im not a fan of braidouts on me, and curls make my hair look short. Im really fine with wearing it straight.... the most i might do to change it up is throw in a clip on both sides.... or change the part (middle or side). After that, ive used up all my creative energy.

 

[guesswho]

don't even let that bother you, people always have some oppinion about something that's just humans, my friends tell me that all the time if my hair isn't in a bun it's like my pic in my siggy and that's how I like it, don't pay her no mind your hair looks great less is sometimes more.

 

[Desert Skye]

.

But heck, im like you! Im a simple girl. My regular style (down) is just fine with me. Since i bun so often anyway, it feels "special" to me. Truthfully, im just not creative, and im kinda lazy........... Plus, im not a fan of braidouts on me, and curls make my hair look short. Im really fine with wearing it straight.... the most i might do to change it up is throw in a clip on both sides.... or change the part (middle or side). After that, ive used up all my creative energy.

Thats whats going on with me. I dont like too many things going on with my hair because I feel uncomfortable. I remeber when I went to a wedding and I had my hair in an updo, I just couldnt wait to rip those pins out and wear my hair down again.

 

[MissScarlett]

My sister gets on me sometimes, because she says that all i ever do is wear it down, straight, in a plain wrap style. She is just teasing me, but in a way also lives vicariously thru me, because she wears her hair in beautiful, natural locs. She would like to see me wear more curls, updo's, etc.... just some variety in general.

But heck, im like you! Im a simple girl. My regular style (down) is just fine with me. Since i bun so often anyway, it feels "special" to me. Truthfully, im just not creative, and im kinda lazy........... Plus, im not a fan of braidouts on me, and curls make my hair look short. Im really fine with wearing it straight.... the most i might do to change it up is throw in a clip on both sides.... or change the part (middle or side). After that, ive used up all my creative energy.

ITA, this is me to a T, shoot I am too lazy/ simple to go and try the braidout the pics in my siggy are the only way i wear my hair, today its a bun, tomorrow a ponytail

sometimes i put a clip in it or on weekends/evenings out with dh, its straight, parted on the side of my widow's peak and that's it, no bangs, nada. Hey but you know what you can say as a comeback and what i say to folks that make that comment....wonder why all the super models rock long straight hair :scratchch

 

[Cayenne0622]

I admit to being guilty of making that comment once in my former life (pre LHCF). I attribute it to not knowing any better. I would always see this one lady with BSL hair and she would have it in a sloppy bun or have it straight down from the bun with a line in it from being in the bun. Somebody made a comment about how long her hair was and I made the comment like "who cares if its long, she doesn't do anything with it so it doesn't even look cute." Now, that I see how her boring buns and flat straightened look have contributed to her growth and retention. I would love to see her hair in a rollerset full of curls or a braid out or something but honestly, it ain't none of my business so if she's happy, I'm happy for her.

Your hair is so beautiful. I would think you look glamourous wearing it exactly as it is in your siggy.

 

[PinkSkates]

Its your hair and you do what suits you. I get the same kind of comments about not having a fancy hairdo. And I respond, "last time I checked, my profession is not as a hair model." As long as its healthy and looks good enough for my eyes, that's all that matters. BTW you hair is beautiful!

 

[tnorenberg]

WHAT??? Glossyxlips, your hair is gorgeous. What more do you need to do?? When my hair was longer I got that comment a lot, usually from hair haters and other jealous types...to "Style"=CUT . Girl keep doing what you are doing because it obviously works for you. Don't be swayed!! BTW bangs are a pain.

 

[InnerSoul]

Your hair looks gorgeous in your siggy... there is nothing more you need to do.

 

[sunnydaze]

WHAT??? Glossyxlips, your hair is gorgeous. What more do you need to do?? When my hair was longer I got that comment a lot, usually from hair haters and other jealous types...to "Style"=CUT . Girl keep doing what you are doing because it obviously works for you. Don't be swayed!! BTW bangs are a pain.

Ditto..from what I have seen from your album Glossy, I don't know what they could be talking about..your hair is gorgeous.

 

[Cayenne0622]

Its your hair and you do what suits you. I get the same kind of comments about not having a fancy hairdo. And I respond, "last time I checked, my profession is not as a hair model." As long as its healthy and looks good enough for my eyes, that's all that matters. BTW you hair is beautiful!

OT: WOW! Your hair is Awesome!!! Dang, girl! I couldn't stop staring.

I'm telling ya'll. Its from lack of knowledge. I now look at natural heads and everything differently. I am in love with natural hair (even though mine is relaxed). I compliment ladies on the street with natural hair, I stare at bunned hair, etc. when previously I wouldn't have given either a second thought. Our mindset has been jacked up as black women and unless you find places like LHCF then you don't learn how to change your opinion of true beauty and learn to love and respect black hair across the spectrum.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I am a WILD Child when it comes to my hair. It never TOO short, never Too spiky, too dark for me. i love to standout, which is actually part of the reason why I am not as crazy about long hair as some of the other ladies are. For me, just have a perfectly resilient set of hair and doing nothing with it is crazy, but its a matter of what YOU want. Now you have inspired me to put up styles for long hair in my fotki. Look out for that ladies.

 

[Mook's hair]

I read your post Glossy, and immediatly went to your fotki... And I just don't get it...It's not even like you hair is simple and boring.

You've got some mild hilights and nice curl to your hair. Which is more than most people have. (I know I'm terrified of hilights myself) The style and length are simply fabulous. I don't know what she's expecting of you.

My next question would have been..."hmmm, like what? What would you do with this hair?" Just to get the clear picture from her. And then her answer probably would have made me mad and I'd have told her some things.

 

[sareca]

Hair as art. I like that. Personally, I believe in maximizing ALL of my potential, but not while I'm trying to grow it out.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Girl, ignore that.

I'm style-challenged too, but even with the things I know how to do, I don't always feel like it or have the time. As long as your hair is neat, nobody should be worried about the style.

I've had a few people say something similar to me as well, but they usually have short, damaged hair from all that "styling".

 

[prettypuff1]

I cant do anything but a roller set. I have no clue how to make anything but that. that is all i have known how to do . My cousin on the other hand can do anything with hair and make it work. I just tell them they are more than welcome to pay for a hair stylist or be quiet.....

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I agree w/ sareca. I like to do different things w/ my hair, but when I'm growing it out my hair needs to focus, and if that mean everybody has to see the same style for a few months then that's what it's gonna be. Your hair is beautiful and probably if had your hair she would do all types of things to it, which would result in her not having any hair, so don't sweat it. You've got great hair what more do people want?

 

[WomanlyCharm]

O.k., I'm all rubbing my eyes and stuff, trying to imagine what your friend was seeing...she'd better go to lenscrafters!

You have absolutely beautiful hair, and it looks fantastic the way you wear it, it's simple and stylish.

 

[deejoy]

People use to say that about me when I was in high school and I've heard similar comments about other people with long hair. I wore it the way I liked it. Shoot that's probably a major reason why so many ladies are walking around with broken off ponytails....doing too many damaging hairstyles.

 

[myco]

I agree w/ sareca. I like to do different things w/ my hair, but when I'm growing it out my hair needs to focus, and if that mean everybody has to see the same style for a few months then that's what it's gonna be. Your hair is beautiful and probably if had your hair she would do all types of things to it, which would result in her not having any hair, so don't sweat it. You've got great hair what more do people want?

Sums up exactly what I was thinking.

 

[tld723]

Your hair is simply beautiful, and needs nothing else. I would to have hair like yours. Sounds like a little jealousy going on!

 

[CHECKMATE!]

your hair is beautiful! ...leave well enuff alone...u have what most (including myself) are trying to achieve....down with the hair haters dammit!!

 

[HoneyDew]

I have had people tell me that. Actually the very things they think I should "do" would possible damage my hair.

Like everyone says don't even let it bother you. I just say "Thanks, but I'm happy with my hair and they way I chose to wear it".

 

[la flaca]

Well I am happy I don't know her 'cause for the last 15 years the only thing I have done to my hair is:
layers, light brown or dark color, I wear straight in a bun or a ponytail I don't even know how to use hot tools

You hair is beautiful to me just like it is

 

[RubyWoo]

Hair as art. I like that. Personally, I believe in maximizing ALL of my potential, but not while I'm trying to grow it out.

Me too.

I'm guilty of saying the "why don't you do something with your hair" comment. I'm one of those people that likes to see styled hair and the more hair the better (to a certain extent). I never mean it a negative way. Simple looks good but I also like variety. However, now that I'm grown, I'm careful of who I would say it to(only close fam and friends that actually want to do something with their hair). I try not to impose my ideas of "style" on others unless asked. I can understand how it can be annoying especially if you're happy with the way your hair is. I wouldn't let it get you down because it's not like she's insulting or was being mean. You've got pretty hair that draws attention so I'm not too surprised. As long as your happy with your hair, that's all that matters.

 

[Ms Lala]

Girl don't pay them any mind. I don't mean to make this a race issue but I notice that alot of black women have this mindset in particular of needing to have the hair "styled" all the time. I remember in highschool alot of the girls wore all of these complex styles and cuts but then always wondered why they didn't have hair. I think overstyling is one reason why alot of women I know don't have hair. Many of the styles they wore seemed damaging in the long run and my mother was a cosmetologist and wouldn't dare let me get those kind of styles. I noticed when I went to college that alot of the young ladies who were white and hispanic wore their hair hanging and up in a ponytail or bun and that was about it. Sometimes my white roomate would get her hair done and I honestly couldn't tell unless she actually cut it. THere wasn't this need for so much styling unless it was a special occasion. I wonder why this is.

 

[KiniKakes]

I've had a few people say something similar to me as well, but they usually have short, damaged hair from all that "styling".

Nuff said!

 

[GoldenBreeze]

Glossy, your hair is beautiful just the way it is. It's a personal choice how you wear your hair, and as long as you are happy that's all that really matters.

ITA, I like to keep it simple with my hair also. If it's clean, neat, and healthy, then I'm happy.

 

[KiniKakes]

Girl don't pay them any mind. I don't mean to make this a race issue but I notice that alot of black women have this mindset in particular of needing to have the hair "styled" all the time. I remember in highschool alot of the girls wore all of these complex styles and cuts but then always wondered why they didn't have hair. I think overstyling is one reason why alot of women I know don't have hair. Many of the styles they wore seemed damaging in the long run and my mother was a cosmetologist and wouldn't dare let me get those kind of styles. I noticed when I went to college that alot of the young ladies who were white and hispanic wore their hair hanging and up in a ponytail or bun and that was about it. Sometimes my white roomate would get her hair done and I honestly couldn't tell unless she actually cut it. THere wasn't this need for so much styling unless it was a special occasion. I wonder why this is.

I agree w/this completely!!!!!

 

[imstush]

I agree w/this completely!!!!!

I agree also! But I am hair challenged. Ever since my mother allowed me to do my own hair it's been ponytails. 14/15 years later and the only styles I've mastered are wash and go and buns