"Why dont you do something with your hair?" Short vent

[Ayeshia]

i can relate...I get the "why dont you straighten your hair?" comments all the time. I just brush it off.

 

[freshlikemoi]

I think she was secretly admiring your hair that's all. I would feel honored, if someone asked me that. BUt then again ...I aint BSL nor beyond. So maybe I want the question asked to me for the wrong reasons.

 

[guesswho]

i can relate...I get the "why dont you straighten your hair?" comments all the time. I just brush it off.

miss ayeshia you real having a blast in that pic, you remind me of myself having a blast with my girls, we behave nutty lol

 

[newflowers]

You hair is lovely as it is - you don't need to d anything to it becauuse it is already "fly."

 

[SEMO]

Personally, I wear my hair in a ponytail most of the time. So for me, simply wearing my hair down is showing some effort. Plus as I get older (early 20's), I find I don't care to have styles that require my hair to be gelled, swooped, and laid to the side.

To me hair that's closet to its natural state looks best. I read a book once, by Michelle McKinney Hammond (The Diva Principles--I think) that said that a woman's hair should look natural and gorgeous, not like she spent hours trying to get it "fixed." I agree with her. She herself is a well put together woman. Plus her hair is mid-back to waist length. I wish I had a pic of her.

 

[somethingdifferent]

This comment bothered me.

Yesterday I went to a family party and saw my friend I havent seen in a few months. One of the first things she mentioned when she saw me was how soft and long my hair was now. I thanked her but then she went on and said "Why dont you do anything with your hair? If I had your hair I would be looking fly and doing all sort of things with it..." I was alittle insulted but I didnt want to show it so I just gave a half smile and changed the subject.

I mean it is true, I am not to skilled at styling my hair. Whenever I try, it never last through the day. I was thinking about getting bangs. But anyway why MUST I style my hair? Why cant it just grow and be a covering for my head like it was intended. I dont want to make my hair a piece of art or anything. I think this bothers me because she is not the first person who has said this to me. What gives?

Ok now I feel better I typed this out.

Anyone else feel their hairstyles are not as FLYYY as it could be?

Mine never are without the help of a professional stylist! I simply decided that "flyy" hair was not worth the time and money spent in the beauty salon. Now I'm focused on trying to maintain the health and help it grow!

I'm glad you feel better and your hair is "fly" just the way it is!

 

[Desert Skye]

My next question would have been..."hmmm, like what? What would you do with this hair?" Just to get the clear picture from her. And then her answer probably would have made me mad and I'd have told her some things.
[/QUOTE

I was about to ask her that but I stopped because ( she is my friend and I am wrong for this) she got very short with her hair breaking and I wasnt too interested in what style she had in mind. Imma give her a bottle of emergencee though when I see her this week.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I really wont be doing anything to my hair soon because I am on a hair challege and I am trying to grow it to waist length. But you know I do get tempted when I see all the lovely styles you guys got. So much so I feel like a plane jane!!

 

[Cayenne0622]

My next question would have been..."hmmm, like what? What would you do with this hair?" Just to get the clear picture from her. And then her answer probably would have made me mad and I'd have told her some things.
[/QUOTE

I was about to ask her that but I stopped because ( she is my friend and I am wrong for this) she got very short with her hair breaking and I wasnt too interested in what style she had in mind. Imma give her a bottle of emergencee though when I see her this week.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I really wont be doing anything to my hair soon because I am on a hair challege and I am trying to grow it to waist length. But you know I do get tempted when I see all the lovely styles you guys got. So much so I feel like a plane jane!!

Your hair is fantastically beautiful. I love your siggy pic. I don't see how you can ever feel plane with that head of beautiful hair. Girl, you are blessed!! And it looks thick and full too!! Girl, don't sweat it. I really think we (as blk women) have been conditioned to think that hair is not "styled" if it isn't full of curls or something.

 

[Desert Skye]

I don't mean to make this a race issue but I notice that alot of black women have this mindset in particular of needing to have the hair "styled" all the time. I remember in highschool alot of the girls wore all of these complex styles and cuts but then always wondered why they didn't have hair. I think overstyling is one reason why alot of women I know don't have hair. Many of the styles they wore seemed damaging in the long run and my mother was a cosmetologist and wouldn't dare let me get those kind of styles. I noticed when I went to college that alot of the young ladies who were white and hispanic wore their hair hanging and up in a ponytail or bun and that was about it. .

That was what was going around too with me in high school. The girls would have these beautiful updos but they had so much gel, it seemed their hair was plastered to their scalp.

 

[Galleta]

your hair is beautiful the way it is. i never do anything overly exciting to my hair. sometimes i get bored with it, but it's heatlhy and that's all that matters to me. at least you know you have your own hair to do whatever styles you want to do when you wan to.

 

[Gisselle]

I have had people tell me that. Actually the very things they think I should "do" would possible damage my hair.

Like everyone says don't even let it bother you. I just say "Thanks, but I'm happy with my hair and they way I chose to wear it".

That's exactly why I keep it simple with either a rollerset or a bun.

 

[blackbarbie]

OMG, I could have written the same exact post!

I usually do a plain rollerwrap with my hair straight down daily or either I will do a bun. People are always talking about all the stuff they would do if they had my hair. Yeah, if they did all that, they wouldn't have ANY hair!

In an effort to stretch my relaxer for the next 6 monrhs, I have been wearing a braidout for the past 2 weeks and only b/c I feel comfortable with the results that I don't mind wearing it now. (I would normally only do it for a day, get self conscious and then back in a bun I would go) Well this is the most that I have ever done with my hair and you wouldn't believe the response I have gotten. ("Girl, you finally did something with that hair!!!")

Your hair looks absolutely gorgeous and don't change a thing. YOU DO YOU!!!!

 

[MizAvalon]

I was about to ask her that but I stopped because ( she is my friend and I am wrong for this) she got very short with her hair breaking and I wasnt too interested in what style she had in mind. Imma give her a bottle of emergencee though when I see her this week.

HA, I KNEW IT!!! People that make that "why don't you do something with your hair" comment almost always have SHORT(and usually undesirable) hair. It boggles my mind that they never put it together that the reason that their hair doesn't look like yours is because of all that crap they do to it.

Do something to my hair? So it can look like yours? No thanks, boo. I'm gonna let you have the market on short, hard looking, ugly hair. Come and see how long my "boring" hair has gotten in a few years while yours still looks the same.

Pure. Comedy.

 

[deejoy]

HA, I KNEW IT!!! People that make that "why don't you do something with your hair" comment almost always have SHORT(and usually undesirable) hair. It boggles my mind that they never put it together that the reason that their hair doesn't look like yours is because of all that crap they do to it.

Do something to my hair? So it can look like yours? No thanks, boo. I'm gonna let you have the market on short, hard looking, ugly hair. Come and see how long my "boring" hair has gotten in a few years while yours still looks the same.

Pure. Comedy.

 

[Sha76]

YOu rhair looks beautiful the way it is.

I am not style challenged but I don't like wearing it styled either, just down or in a bun or ponytail.

Stick with what you are doing because it works for you.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

HA, I KNEW IT!!! People that make that "why don't you do something with your hair" comment almost always have SHORT(and usually undesirable) hair. It boggles my mind that they never put it together that the reason that their hair doesn't look like yours is because of all that crap they do to it.

Do something to my hair? So it can look like yours? No thanks, boo. I'm gonna let you have the market on short, hard looking, ugly hair. Come and see how long my "boring" hair has gotten in a few years while yours still looks the same.

Pure. Comedy.

Girl tell it! Always. Talking about "Gurl you should put some color in your hair, and dye that side red, and that side blonde"

Puhlease! The reason why I am doing this so I WON'T look like you. You better ride out.

 

[sylver2]

HaHahaha..I have been hearing that practically my entire life...
Your hair is Beautiful..keep doing you

 

[ina]

Your hair is beautiful the way you are wearing it!!!
When I was relaxed and my hair was shoulder length, I got the same comment and it generally came from people whose hair was not in good shape.
Also, don't do bangs unless you are 200% sure that's what you want.It can be a "pain" to grow them back

 

[Energist]

Girl don't pay them any mind. I don't mean to make this a race issue but I notice that alot of black women have this mindset in particular of needing to have the hair "styled" all the time. I remember in highschool alot of the girls wore all of these complex styles and cuts but then always wondered why they didn't have hair. I think overstyling is one reason why alot of women I know don't have hair. Many of the styles they wore seemed damaging in the long run and my mother was a cosmetologist and wouldn't dare let me get those kind of styles. I noticed when I went to college that alot of the young ladies who were white and hispanic wore their hair hanging and up in a ponytail or bun and that was about it. Sometimes my white roomate would get her hair done and I honestly couldn't tell unless she actually cut it. THere wasn't this need for so much styling unless it was a special occasion. I wonder why this is.

Ditto! Less manipulation is the best route to go. I have a childhood friend who has lost most of her hair do to over manipulation with weaves, using flat irons every day trying to get that latest Mary J. Blige flip do and it just took a horrible toll.

 

[blue_flower]

Girl don't pay them any mind. I don't mean to make this a race issue but I notice that alot of black women have this mindset in particular of needing to have the hair "styled" all the time. I remember in highschool alot of the girls wore all of these complex styles and cuts but then always wondered why they didn't have hair. I think overstyling is one reason why alot of women I know don't have hair. Many of the styles they wore seemed damaging in the long run and my mother was a cosmetologist and wouldn't dare let me get those kind of styles. I noticed when I went to college that alot of the young ladies who were white and hispanic wore their hair hanging and up in a ponytail or bun and that was about it. Sometimes my white roomate would get her hair done and I honestly couldn't tell unless she actually cut it. THere wasn't this need for so much styling unless it was a special occasion. I wonder why this is.

I agree with you. I see too many black women wearing their hair in styles. The people who tell me to do something to my hair, usuall have short and/or unhealthy hair.

 

[senimoni]

Based on her tone I'm assuming she meant it as an insult? I only ask b/c I have said this to people with long hair (pre-lhcf) but it was never said with the negative intent. Actually now that I think about it I don't ever think I've said it quite the way this person did...nm. It was more of a ...let me do your hair or Oooo it would be so cute if you __________. I think your hair is beauitiful glossy...i'm surprised anyone can fix their face to say anything negative.

OT: Black Barbie your hair is gorgeous!!!

 

[senimoni]

I"m just OT'ing all over the place.

Energist...those pokahontas braids are lovely. I'm so jelly of those b/c I can do to braids but they don't look a thing like that.

 

[Nightingale]

My sister gets on me sometimes, because she says that all i ever do is wear it down, straight, in a plain wrap style. She is just teasing me, but in a way also lives vicariously thru me, because she wears her hair in beautiful, natural locs. She would like to see me wear more curls, updo's, etc.... just some variety in general.

But heck, im like you! Im a simple girl. My regular style (down) is just fine with me. Since i bun so often anyway, it feels "special" to me. Truthfully, im just not creative, and im kinda lazy........... Plus, im not a fan of braidouts on me, and curls make my hair look short. Im really fine with wearing it straight.... the most i might do to change it up is throw in a clip on both sides.... or change the part (middle or side). After that, ive used up all my creative energy.

OT: I love your dress!
On topic: I get this alot because my hair is almost always in a ponytail, but lately I've been wearing it down. My friend asked me what style I want to try when I get my hair to the length I like. I said, "A low braided ponytail." She told me I'm boring and its true. LOL!

 

[cheetarah1980]

First of all, glossy your hair is gorgeous. It doesn't look plain in the least bit. Personally, I prefer simpler styles with movement to a head full of curls and upsweeps. It's just too much.

I get the "why don't you do something to your hair" comments a lot. When I was relaxed my mother used to ask why I never styled my hair. In my opinon, a roller set and wrap is a style. For some reason a lot of black folks think that if there aren't hard curls in the hair then it's not styled.
Now that I'm natural my friends are always asking me when I'm going to do my hair. I will admit that my styles have gotten a tad boring over the last year or so. I primarily stick to twists and box braids with the occassional fro. I would try new styles more often, but I'm too lazy. It took all of the motivation in me to try a new style the last time I did my hair. It took 12 hours and I just don't have the time or energy to do that type of styling on the regular. That is why I make my twists/braids last for weeks on end. I also know that when people ask me to do something with my hair, what they really mean is that I should straighten it. It seems that natural hair is only meant to be worn natural up to a certain length. When the hair gets longer, folks expect you to straighten it. I don't see the correlation, but I someone is always saying, "Your hair has gotten so long. It'll be even longer when you straighten it."

 

[RZILYNT]

Ladies, I am so encouraged by reading all of these post! I now don't feel as pressured to do anything with my hair since I have all of this good company. KISS Keep It Sweet and Simple.

Glossyl...., your hair is simply stunning ! You can see we all feel the same way and many of us have had the same comments made to us, often by well meaning people who are clueless and sometimes from the haters.

RZ~

 

[Sequoia]

Hi all,
ITA with most of you- i also get the same question because my hair is almost always in a ponytail. when i feel adventurous, i switch my side pattern; anything else seems like a major feat- i'm scared of hair tongs/ straighteners and my attempts at rollersetting are so pitiful, you'd think i had no thumbs.

Pre-lhcf (i'm one of the long time lurkers that finally became official ), it bothered me quite a bit but looking back, i've been protective styling w/o knowing it.

It's also funny that i mostly get suggestions to cut off the hair that i've been trying to grow for so long. Forget that.

You have gorgeous hair by the way- you all do.

 

[klb120475]

Hi all,
ITA with most of you- i also get the same question because my hair is almost always in a ponytail. when i feel adventurous, i switch my side pattern; anything else seems like a major feat- i'm scared of hair tongs/ straighteners and my attempts at rollersetting are so pitiful, you'd think i had no thumbs.

Pre-lhcf (i'm one of the long time lurkers that finally became official ), it bothered me quite a bit but looking back, i've been protective styling w/o knowing it.

It's also funny that i mostly get suggestions to cut off the hair that i've been trying to grow for so long. Forget that.

You have gorgeous hair by the way- you all do.

Welcome!!!!!

 

[Sequoia]

Welcome!!!!!

Not to hijack this thread, but thank you!

 

[deejoy]

I remember a friend of mine told me "bout time you changed your hairstyle" when all I did was change the part. Meanwhile her hair was nape length and damaged. Go figure.

 

[growinglong777]

Girl, you and your hair are absolutely gorgeous.. don't change a thing!