Why Do You Relax Your Hair...?

[BeautifulFlower]

Sure being Natural is wonderful...but Relaxing is great too. I kind of feel that Naturals look down on Relaxers as though Relaxers do not have as strong of a sense of self or will because they choose to relax their hair.

Maybe I am wrong but I would like to hair why YOU stay Relaxed.

Share with the board why you choice to relax your hair.

P.S. Naturals Are Welcomed to comment!

 

[silvergirl]

im natural now. but i think the ONLY reason why i relaxed my hair was just out of habit.

ive been relaxed since i was just a bebe at 4or 5 yrs old. and all i knew was every 3-4 months id have to go and get my hair straightened, i thought thats what alll black women had to do.

im very neutral about the relaxed hair i had, i didnt love it, i didnt hate it. it was just there. now im glad to know that now we have so much more options.

 

[missty1029]

I relax to tame the thickness. I just cant deal with it. I have learned that I dont need to be super straight and to embrace my curl. But its just too too thick. I thought I could try not to but it just cant happen. Just learn to relax smart.

 

[Energist]

I relax for manageability! I went natural for 7 years and found that it wasn't for me then, because I didn't know how to properly care for it. Had I known about this site I may have felt differently

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I relax because it is easier for me than being natural. When I was natural, I had so many different textures on my head that all I did was wear it back in a ponytail. I feel more polished with relaxed hair and if I want the look of natural hair I can always do a braid/twist out or something like that.

To be honest, I don't think that naturals look down on us relaxers so much as they just have a great sense of pride. I know I did when I was natural. I think that the misconception that I fell into was believing that natural hair was so much easier to take care of than relaxed. That simply is NOT true.

 

[glamazon386]

Sure being Natural is wonderful...but Relaxing is great too. I kind of feel that Naturals look down on Relaxers as though Relaxers do not have as strong of a sense of self or will because they choose to relax their hair.

Maybe I am wrong but I would like to hair why YOU stay Relaxed.

Share with the board why you choice to relax your hair.

P.S. Naturals Are Welcomed to comment!

I understand where you're coming from and you certainly are right. Some naturals do look down on people who relaxed but not all. I certainly don't. I don't understand how naturals can act that way when they were relaxed at some point themselves (in most cases). But I digress... You can't make that generalization for all natural people. I'm not anti-relaxer. I do realize that relaxing is no longer something that is for me. But who's to say that it isn't for the next person. Or even me. I could change my mind at a later date.

I think most people are still relaxed because it's the norm. It's what they're used to doing (or all they've ever really known) so they continue to do so. Also a lot of people don't want to cut their hair and start over. And it's reasonable to feel that way. It's also a matter of convenience for some people. Some people don't want to spend a lot of time dealing with tangles, and knots, thick bushy hair, etc. Or some want to wear their hair straight the majority of the time. It depends on your hair and what you want to do with it. I had gotten to the point for a few years where I rarely wore my hair straight so there was no point in staying relaxed.

 

[esoterica]

Because it would take about 4 or 5 hours to wash and style it otherwise. Unless I was gonna wear an afro/puffs, which I'm not.

 

[Artemis]

I was natural for 4 yrs; I did so out of curiosity as to what my hair was really like. Back then my goal was to just see what my hair wanted to do if given the freedom...I was all a/b embracing what the Creator gave you, and joined the militant naturals site and everything, lol. Then I grew up and realized that my style choice is my own, and if I want to change my hair (texture or color, etc) or wear it a certain way, then I will. I am on my second hair journey, and when I reach my goal, I am pretty sure that I will go natural again, and have a hair goal then, too.

But for right now, I like my hair straight. I relax my hair because I can

 

[*Muffin*]

I'm not speaking for all naturals. A lot of them are really cool and are down-to-earth. But some of them like to accuse people who relax their hair of hating their hair or denying their (african) heritage. I don't relax my hair because I'm denying who I am. I relax my hair because it's my personal choice, just like going natural is a personal choice. All kinds of hair, whether dreaded, braided, natural, or relaxed, has the potential to be beautiful and healthy if you take proper care of it. Altering the way it looks is just a personal preference, nothing more. It doesn't signify not loving yourself or not being proud of being black.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Thank You Ladies for your response. I really appreciate it.

 

[KAT25]

I have always been relaxed or staightened as long as I can remember and my mom, aunties, grandmothers etc........ have always been relaxed so I personally didn't know anything else. I am not even really sure how my hair would look with out a relaxer in it but I like the relaxer. Right now I am happy with it maybe oneday I will go without the relaxer but.......... not sure if it will be anytime soon.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I'm natural now , but I relaxed at first because my mom always relaxed my hair. I had long hair, but it was very damaged. In my relaxed days, I had long hair, but very damaged. My hair thrived texlaxed, but I didn't know how to touch up my hair properly. If I ever do use chemicals again, I will use the JFM texture softner.

 

[Joanna721]

Ayannah I love ur site

I relax because when my hair gets thick it gets crazy plus I love my texture after about 2 or 3 months and wash n gos look great ...

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Thank You! Its a work in progress!

Ayannah I love ur site

I relax because when my hair gets thick it gets crazy plus I love my texture after about 2 or 3 months and wash n gos look great ...

 

[ladylibra]

i used to relax my hair out of habit - i knew nothing else. and i think outside of hairboards, that's the norm... at least here in Indiana.

i can't stand women with relaxed hair who turn their noses up at my hair when they have 3 strands gelled and gouped up into a scrawny poof of a ponytail or busted-looking, super-greasy weave. just as i can't stand women with locs who sneer at my fro... or 4a/4b naturals who say i'm not "nappy" enough and then 3b/3c naturals say i'm not "curly" enough.

so yes, i understand why women with relaxed hair might be upset when natural-haired women look down on them. sure, i know there are some women with "Beckyism" issues but for the most part i don't think most relaxed-haired women think that far into it. relaxing is either what they're used to, or desire to do. and if it's healthy and makes the wearer happy, that's all that should really matter IMO.

 

[harrison]

I'm natural but.... Relaxing or should I say texlaxing.. might be an option I entertain when my hair gets beyond the manageable length. Whatever that maybe.

But with the tips I've learned here.. that point may not come. I've been natural for 10 years, and its a very personal choice. I am not anti relaxer but I know there are people who are.

 

[DozenRoses99]

I'm transitioning to natural, but I have no problem with people choosing to have relaxers or texturizers. I relaxed because I liked the way straight styles looked smoother and seemed to last longer with a relaxer.

 

[caramelcutieinva]

I relax now 4 times (I take summers off) a year because my hair grows fast and it is really thick. I have a head full of 3c with some 3b parts. I don't go bone straight , because I like to have the option of going straight , wavy, or curly.

When I was growing up , I think my mom relaxed my hair because she didn't know how to take care off it. My mom couldn't braid or do hair. Her hair is straight so she had no idea what to do with my texture, plus it was mid back and detangling and washing it took a ton of time.

 

[realitychk]

I am natural and don't look down on those who relax or texturize. I was relaxed just a year ago. It wasn't about self hating. I was relaxed when when I was a child and so staying relaxed was just habit, nothing deeper than that.

The only time I get annoyed is when I hear that natural is "not professional" or "too hard to deal with" or "I don't have the right texture" (whatever that is). I just remember that I used to think the same way and it was just a product of misinformation not self hate or wanting to be white or whatever.

A woman should be able to wear her hair the way that makes her feel beautiful.

 

[Allandra]

I find my hair easier to manage since it's relaxed.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

I have big hair. It's toooo thick to be trying to be natural.My hair isn't bone straight. When my hair airdrys with a perm I look like those women on the commercial for maxiglide no joke. I couldn't imagine trying to take care of my natural hair. Overall it's waaay more managable this way.

 

[mrsmccreight]

I just like the way I look with straight hair. I'm not really the experimenting type, I like the straight look and I'm gonna stick with it.

 

[NYAmicas]

I stay relaxed because my hair is very thick and difficult for me to manage even when it's in a straightened state. I just did a long stretch and my hair at the roots were like, "Oh heck no." Basically, it works for me.

 

[kiesha8185]

I relax because that's what I was brought up to do; I knew every 6 weeks erplexed it was time to burn the heck outta my scalp. My natural hair is tooooooo thick for me to handle, I no longer get burned since I self-relax, and I love the versatility I have with my relaxed hair. I can wear it bone straight, wavy, or curly....and I can airdry, I wouldn't dare think of doing that if I was natural

 

[Priss Pot]

I understand where you're coming from and you certainly are right. Some naturals do look down on people who relaxed but not all. I certainly don't. I don't understand how naturals can act that way when they were relaxed at some point themselves (in most cases). But I digress... You can't make that generalization for all natural people. I'm not anti-relaxer. I do realize that relaxing is no longer something that is for me. But who's to say that it isn't for the next person. Or even me. I could change my mind at a later date.

I think most people are still relaxed because it's the norm. It's what they're used to doing (or all they've ever really known) so they continue to do so. Also a lot of people don't want to cut their hair and start over. And it's reasonable to feel that way. It's also a matter of convenience for some people. Some people don't want to spend a lot of time dealing with tangles, and knots, thick bushy hair, etc. Or some want to wear their hair straight the majority of the time. It depends on your hair and what you want to do with it. I had gotten to the point for a few years where I rarely wore my hair straight so there was no point in staying relaxed.

I'm not condoning the behavior, but I do feel that naturals have a valid argument even if they have been relaxed before. Sometimes, it just takes a while to "see the light."

Even though we, on LHCF, know how to properly take care of relaxed AND natural hair, a lot of women out there don't. We have to admit that there are some women out there who have the brainwashed mentality that nappy/natural = ugly and unattractive. So in essence, there are women out there who practice self-hatred, as well as naturals who are very militant in assuming the same thing about every relaxed person.

Let's not forget the assumption in this thread that all naturals look down on relaxed heads, when that's not entirely true.

 

[leleepop]

I relax because I love wearing rollersets and I hate the shrinkage that comes with natural hair. I also love it that I can still maintain a healthy head of hair while being relaxed.