DragonPearl
Well-Known Member
I just find that hard to believe.
"Why do so many blacks prefer straight hair?"
- Thread starter preciouslove0x
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I just find that hard to believe.
lovegymnasts
New Member
Exactly.
This topic has been discussed & repeated a thousand times on here! I have noticed that when there is a usual question like "How do you co-wash" either someone post a link to on old topic about the same thing or barely any one answers the question. But topics like this(which is still USUAL) there are like 30 freaken pages! But everyone always says the same exact thing...
1- Because they want too.
2- Because they still have a slave mentality
3- Because they hate their selves.
4- Because all the white girls have straight hair.
5- Because the relaxer is evil
6- Or someone leaves a 5pg post.
And no i am not saying what should be discussed on here since it is not my website, but 26pgs really? Keep the thread going, its nice to see the same topic discussed over & over again.
I honestly think one day, one of these "Why do black women relax their hair?" "Why do black women straighten their hair?" "Why do black women believe in good hair vs. black hair?" "Is natural hair better then relaxed hair?" Should be a sticky, so then when the question is asked then some one cant point them to the thread
If someone finds something of interest in this thread, they enter and discuss.
If someone does not find it interesting, they should pass it up and move on.
Strangefruittree
New Member
well dayum homie... the thought and effort towards buiding alone is completely appreciated.
~Sparklingflame~
New Member
I SERIOUSLY doubt shes white too but just in case she is Im glad kmn told her like it tiz.Y'all need to stop talking to EastClevelandK as though she's actually white. That's all I'm going to say
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
^^^^Ion know yall...she sure had the privilege and entitlement down pat.
jennboo
Well-Known Member
Folks want the thread locked because there is some intelligent, thought-provoking, truthful commentary in here and it's making them uncomfortable. When we don't want to face things we attempt to bury it, run from it, hide it, and otherwise pretend it does not exist because it makes us feel better for the time being.
I still cannot fathom how a bunch of black women are getting ticked over a thread that exalts the beauty of our god-given (or whoever-given) features. Ish is so backwards. In a normal world, all of these threads about new fangled hair straightening, kink-destroying chemicals and processes would be considered offensive. If a white person came in here and said to a black woman that her natch hair needed to be tamed by burning the crap out of it, either chemically or through heat, people would be ready to kill. This is essentially what is happening, except it isnt a white person suggesting the above, its other black people. I don't know about you all, but i'd be highly offended if someone came up to me and said that my natural skin color (a prominent trait inherent to my RACE) looked like crap and handed over a box of bleaching cream.
I still cannot fathom how a bunch of black women are getting ticked over a thread that exalts the beauty of our god-given (or whoever-given) features. Ish is so backwards. In a normal world, all of these threads about new fangled hair straightening, kink-destroying chemicals and processes would be considered offensive. If a white person came in here and said to a black woman that her natch hair needed to be tamed by burning the crap out of it, either chemically or through heat, people would be ready to kill. This is essentially what is happening, except it isnt a white person suggesting the above, its other black people. I don't know about you all, but i'd be highly offended if someone came up to me and said that my natural skin color (a prominent trait inherent to my RACE) looked like crap and handed over a box of bleaching cream.
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jennboo
Well-Known Member
You're on a public message board geared toward hair care.
~Sparklingflame~
New Member
Ms Lala
Well-Known Member
I don't see how this thread is causing division, it seem to be provoking intelligent conversation which I think is a positive. If we don't recognize and discuss issues things will never improve. I think this thread actually brought out some good points regarding social constructs, racism, and the subconscious motivations in regards to hair. It's easy to say it's just hair but we all know it's not. I actually read most of the posts and have found it intriguing. I've done research on the "Barbie Image" and it's impact on women. This is real ladies, the motivation to look a certain way doesn't just fall from the sky. Our preferences over the years have been shaped and it's impacted women of all races. However the attack on the culture of Black women has been more targeted and has a history of oppression unlike that of white women in this country. Even if you choose to wear straight hair, acknowledge where these practices originated and why.
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SummerSolstice
New Member
straight hair looks nice *kanyeshrug* *dueces*
oh i aint neva had a perm in my life. straight natcha 4a/b up out this peice
oh i aint neva had a perm in my life. straight natcha 4a/b up out this peice
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
Forget the cosmetic reasons -The majority of black women relax their hair because it's what they know.
I honestly don't think there is any thought behind it. It's a reflex.
It's easier to have relaxed hair. There are entire markets designated for dealing with relaxed hair and potential problems that may come up.
There are no definitive answers in natural hair. There is a whole lot of guess work that goes into changing from being a lifelong relaxer to natural hair. Hell, if you ask 10 naturals to identify a hair type, you're likely to get 5 different answers and an arguement about whether somebody is delusional. Good luck if you actually have a problem. People try to help, but more times than not the best you're going to get are guesstimates and if those then don't help the problem isn't your hair it's "your mindset".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I also think that the title of this thread is absolutely wrong. I don't believe for one moment that "blacks" prefer straight hair. I think if the majority of black women could wake up with type 3 hair tomorrow, relaxer sales would become obsolete.
I honestly don't think there is any thought behind it. It's a reflex.
It's easier to have relaxed hair. There are entire markets designated for dealing with relaxed hair and potential problems that may come up.
There are no definitive answers in natural hair. There is a whole lot of guess work that goes into changing from being a lifelong relaxer to natural hair. Hell, if you ask 10 naturals to identify a hair type, you're likely to get 5 different answers and an arguement about whether somebody is delusional. Good luck if you actually have a problem. People try to help, but more times than not the best you're going to get are guesstimates and if those then don't help the problem isn't your hair it's "your mindset".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I also think that the title of this thread is absolutely wrong. I don't believe for one moment that "blacks" prefer straight hair. I think if the majority of black women could wake up with type 3 hair tomorrow, relaxer sales would become obsolete.
lovegymnasts
New Member
I do believe that most women continue to get relaxers out of habit but also fear of their natural hair because it is unknown and what they hear about or think about their natural hair is not positive.
ex/ One co-worker said she thought about going natural and said she couldn't do it and had to relax her hair because her new growth was giving her headaches...actual physical headaches. Another said she could not do it because her hair was too nappy.
I think most children initially get relaxers because their mothers do not know how to or do not want to deal with their natural hair and some do not want their children walking around with nappy hair.
I don't agree that most women want type 3 hair and that it would make relaxers obsolete. If this was the case, why were most type 3's relaxed as children in the first place and why do women overwhelmingly put in the straightest weave they can find instead of type 3 weave?
I do agree that it appears easier to have relaxed hair but it really isn't because we still do not know how to take care of our relaxed hair. IRL most of the people I know have either messed up relaxed hair or really short relaxed hair. Also if this was true, why would the weave business be what it is today?
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BelindaLuz
New Member
let's not forget that there are Afro Asian who naturally have what THEY can kinky hair and we call wavy and or curly hair.It's kind of beating a dead horse, but it's because it's what most of us were brought up to like. When I was little, my mom pressed my hair every week and then relaxed me when I was 4 or 5. I used to have a serious complex about my new growth, being relaxed so young. I hated the feel of it. I remember once, I took scissors and snipped away the new growth at my nape because it didn't "feel right."
And then my parents wondered why I had problems being black when I was little. Even just in the early 90's when I was a kid, I don't remember black women being acknowledged as much as they are today. I thought only white women were pretty/could be pretty. My mom would always tell me, "Black women are pretty. Don't feel bad about yourself." and then turn around and tell me I didn't have "pretty white-girl hair" when I would get my hair wet.
But what I find interesting is, so many white people seem fascinated by our hair/want to know why we straighten, but how many of them would actually want our hair? My guess is, not many. Like someone else said, straight hair can be turned kinky. Some Asian people do it because they like the look.
I think white people don't get kinky hair because they don't want it. They complain about having to do a quick wash most/every day, so the detangling, moisturizing, etc. would blow their minds. This isn't anything against your friend, OP. I have white friends that ask similar questions.
Crackers Phinn
Either A Blessing Or A Lesson.
I completely agree with this and each generation seems to relax the kids at earlier ages. I have some highly unPC non hair related thoughts about the reasons behind that, but suffice it to say is that there is more routine to this than doctrine.
@ the bolded, if you start with the basic premise that most black women are using inferior hair products, the wrong hair tools and are not very liberal when it comes to washing and conditioning hair. It's not hard to see how alot of type 3 hair could be judged as just as unmanageable as type 4, so the path of least resistance is to throw a relaxer in it.
@ the blue - if you're relaxed, it's easier to blend your relaxed hair to straight weave than with curly. Curly weave also is notorious for tangling, so you get more use and less maintenance buying a straight weave or wig than a curly one.
I fully concede that the hair outside of hairboards is a scary thing. However, if we kept the conversation within the realm of hair boards, most women with crazy looking relaxed hair can make leaps in bounds in improving the look of their hair and retaining length.
If naturals had the same amount of information based in science instead of "guesstimacation" on how to care for their hair as relaxed heads do then I think there would be more of a presence of bsl and wsl loose haired naturals. I am basing this hunch on a poll taken about hair length by hair type that was done last year.
lovegymnasts
New Member
I definitely agree here but it's hard to get people out of their comfort zone even if they would love the results.
Farida
Well-Known Member
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BelindaLuz
New Member
I have done the same with white, black, mexican, Iranian...
Adaoba2012
New Member
I apologize if this has been asked already..I have not read this whole thread.
I'm not saying that I disagree with the thoughts and beliefs that black women relax their hair because of years of oppression and colonization. Ideally, that makes a lot of sense knowing what Black people endured during those times and how it has continued to trickle down through the generations. However, I have to ask..what about "blacks" whose ancestors were not slaves..meaning Africans? Why do people who are direct immigrants from Africa or who are second generation immigrants (like myself) relax their hair? Would I have any reason to hate myself or have a liking for "the norm" or "what is culturally accepted"? My mother relaxed her hair for years (but has since stopped) my grandmothers and aunts on both sides who were all born and bred in Nigeria relaxed as well. So what is the reasoning behind that? One could say that I now relax my hair because I was raised here and have been exposed to those ideals presented through the media..okay fine. But what about MY ancestors who were not tormented, abused or brainwashed? & who were only exposed to people who looked just like them..with skin, kinks, curls, hips and lips just the same?
I'm not saying that I disagree with the thoughts and beliefs that black women relax their hair because of years of oppression and colonization. Ideally, that makes a lot of sense knowing what Black people endured during those times and how it has continued to trickle down through the generations. However, I have to ask..what about "blacks" whose ancestors were not slaves..meaning Africans? Why do people who are direct immigrants from Africa or who are second generation immigrants (like myself) relax their hair? Would I have any reason to hate myself or have a liking for "the norm" or "what is culturally accepted"? My mother relaxed her hair for years (but has since stopped) my grandmothers and aunts on both sides who were all born and bred in Nigeria relaxed as well. So what is the reasoning behind that? One could say that I now relax my hair because I was raised here and have been exposed to those ideals presented through the media..okay fine. But what about MY ancestors who were not tormented, abused or brainwashed? & who were only exposed to people who looked just like them..with skin, kinks, curls, hips and lips just the same?
BGT
Well-Known Member
I have been thinking about this topic ALLLLLLLL day 
thinking of an appropriate response. It's really made me think! 
So here is my personal reasons as to why I prefer straight hair:
I was natural until I was 8. I've always had very thick hair. It's fine (texture-wise, thinner than thread) now, but I've always had a LOT (!!!) of hairs on my head. My mother loved my natural texture but I did not; not because I felt jealous of my white and relaxed friends or because I heard the word "nappy" thrown around. I didn't like it because it hurt for her to style my hair. She was very gentle, but hair-styling was always an ordeal. Especially on wash day. She had to wash in plaits or else my hair would lock up. She had to take a hot comb through it just to get a regular comb through it, although that hot comb never straightened my hair, just stretched it. I can't tell you how many times my hair BROKE combs. I could never go swimming because that meant wash day and more torture and my hair was even harder because of the chlorine. 
I begged for a relaxer to fit in, yes. My BF in elementary school would tease me for still being relaxed. I also wanted to spend less time getting my hair combed in the mornings before school and more time watching cartoons. Again, my mother wanted me to keep my natural hair, even though it was a huge hassle for her. But she finally gave in and let me get it done. I must admit, I had an enormous pride of pride because I fit in. 
But to answer the question in present-day, I just thought the REAL reason was assumed.
erplexed Like, we all knew that deeeeeep-down, it stems from white beauty ideals. Why else would Indian women bleach their skin and praise women with blue/green/grey eyes? Why else would Asian cut their eyelids (!!) to give them a flap? I always thought it was sad when I see women do this to appear more white or conform to white ideals. But it's not sad to see black women chemically straighten their hair? No, because I'm black.
Why am I not natural now? Different reasons. I'm very lazy and try to get my hair styled as quickly and with as little effort as possible. I know I'd be a horrible natural. I see so many naturals talk about how they wash their hair in sections or in plaits/braids or spend hours blow drying and straightening... ugh, not me. I'd rake through my hair so fast and take half of it with me. I'm also not a very confident person, and I feel you need to be very confident with yourself to wearing your natural hair, at least where I live in the South. I don't think I could take the comments or the jabs or the stares. My ego is too fragile. I also love my long hair and reversion would piss me off.
Probably making people so defensive they ignore your comments.
thinking of an appropriate response. It's really made me think! So here is my personal reasons as to why I prefer straight hair:I was natural until I was 8. I've always had very thick hair. It's fine (texture-wise, thinner than thread) now, but I've always had a LOT (!!!) of hairs on my head. My mother loved my natural texture but I did not; not because I felt jealous of my white and relaxed friends or because I heard the word "nappy" thrown around. I didn't like it because it hurt for her to style my hair. She was very gentle, but hair-styling was always an ordeal. Especially on wash day. She had to wash in plaits or else my hair would lock up. She had to take a hot comb through it just to get a regular comb through it, although that hot comb never straightened my hair, just stretched it. I can't tell you how many times my hair BROKE combs.
I could never go swimming because that meant wash day and more torture and my hair was even harder because of the chlorine. I begged for a relaxer to fit in, yes. My BF in elementary school would tease me for still being relaxed. I also wanted to spend less time getting my hair combed in the mornings before school and more time watching cartoons.
Again, my mother wanted me to keep my natural hair, even though it was a huge hassle for her. But she finally gave in and let me get it done. I must admit, I had an enormous pride of pride because I fit in. But to answer the question in present-day, I just thought the REAL reason was assumed.
erplexed Like, we all knew that deeeeeep-down, it stems from white beauty ideals. Why else would Indian women bleach their skin and praise women with blue/green/grey eyes? Why else would Asian cut their eyelids (!!) to give them a flap? I always thought it was sad when I see women do this to appear more white or conform to white ideals. But it's not sad to see black women chemically straighten their hair? No, because I'm black.Why am I not natural now? Different reasons. I'm very lazy and try to get my hair styled as quickly and with as little effort as possible. I know I'd be a horrible natural. I see so many naturals talk about how they wash their hair in sections or in plaits/braids or spend hours blow drying and straightening... ugh, not me. I'd rake through my hair so fast and take half of it with me.
I'm also not a very confident person, and I feel you need to be very confident with yourself to wearing your natural hair, at least where I live in the South. I don't think I could take the comments or the jabs or the stares. My ego is too fragile. I also love my long hair and reversion would piss me off. Probably making people so defensive they ignore your comments.
Foxglove
A drop of golden sun
IME a lot of Africans emulate the west so if people keep relaxing here they will keep relaxing back home
LaFemmeNaturelle
Well-Known Member
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Ms Lala
Well-Known Member
You would have to find a culture that has not experienced the effects of colonization or been exposed to media to really observe this.
LittleLuxe
New Member
I'm from Nigeria as well, it's very nice to have someone else with that pov join the discussion.
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Adaoba2012
New Member
True..but were they also beaten, abused and told their hair was dreadful as well?
Do you mean that African woman who relax their hair do so as a result of a commercial they saw on TV? I guess I'm looking for a definitive answer but there doesn't seem to be one.
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Adaoba2012
New Member
In your experience? Is that what IME means? How are you so sure they they emulate the west to the point where they have been consumed with the self hatred that blacks have? If they emulate the west why do they still dress traditionally, eat their own meals and observe their own culture? and if that is not what you are trying to say please elaborate..
Foxglove
A drop of golden sun
Yes, same as here.
Adaoba2012
New Member
I'm sorry but the answer is not simply "Yes, same as here." and if you expect me to accept that as a realistic answer then I am sorry to say that you are sadly mistaken...and maybe you should do a bit more research to give me a better answer.
jennboo
Well-Known Member
Black bolded: I don't think anyone can argue you down about the fact that lots of black women are relaxed due to the fact that its all they've ever known and/or because their mommas and grandmommas did it. That's the point of the thread....why is the practice so pervasive? Why is relaxing the hair considered a reflex/the default? Why do we still hold tight to the practice? I'm talking about the preference for it, over our own natural hair, and where it originates. There are lots of things that our parents introduced to us, that we just DID because it's always been done that way, doesnt mean the original intent of the practice was great (and that we have to ignore the original intent because it makes us feel better) or that we have to keep doing it.
Red bolded: In terms of styling? For some people yes, for some people no. I'm more inclined to believe that it's easier for folks who accept the kink pattern of the hair as is. Styling probably tends to be harder for those who want to make the natural hair mimic a straighter texture or one unlike their own.
Blue bolded: Okay....If we changed the title of the thread to "Why do so many blacks prefer straighter hair?" That'll lump in the silkier/straighter hair types that are still considered 'highly textured'. We're still fightin' the same battle with that one....folks still preferring the looser/straighter textures that 'curl up' and 'lie down'.
Ms Lala
Well-Known Member
I cannot speak to the experience of women in Nigeria or any other African nation because I have not lived there. Nor do I know enough Nigerian women to have an adequate understanding of general views on hair in that country. What I do know is that the question you posed earlier asked about people relaxing who have only been around others like them. I was simply pointing out that this is not true of Nigeria. You would have to do a study on a culture that has not been colonized or exposed to media. I have read studies done on a indigenous tribe of people who were never exposed to media and what was considered beautiful to them was VERY different from much of what we see on TV. They were more likely to favor facial features and a body type that is not considered ideal in the US. Media is much more than commercials and even commercials are much more than meets the eye. Psychology is heavily involved in how things are marketed. There is a reason why people crave foods after seeing them on a commercial . But anyway I would appreciate hearing more of your perspective. Perhaps you can enlighten us on views regarding hair in Nigeria. I can only comfortably speak as a Black woman living in America; my experience and research is limited to this. Do you believe that colonization had an impact on the beauty image that is considered acceptable in Nigeria? I don't expect you to speak for every Nigerian just as I can't speak for every Black woman but I am curious.
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BelindaLuz
New Member
I tried no responding to this...
How are you going to say that Relaxed hair is "Healthy" when cosmatologist (who are tought that "highly eyhnic hair has to be relaxed inorder to manage it) lable relaxed hair as damaged?
Milady's Hair Atructure and Chemistry Simplified by Douglas D. Schoon
- Status
