Why do so many black women relax their hair? video

[Crackers Phinn]

i agree with everything you said except for the bolded part. i have heard on here before that it is soemtimes hard for natural hair to have sheen because the cuticle is not flat. correct me if i am wrong.

I believe it is 'shine' that is reflected in hair with a flat cuticle. I wish that I could pull up a definitive picture showing the difference between shine and sheen. Sheen is more like a pearl like shimmer.

 

[caligirl]

I certainly notice that lots of folks with curly hair want straight hair vise versa but I have never met a person who had straight hair or curly hair that wanted kinky hair.

We are all influenced by the European standard of beauty that places silky smooth hair above kinky hair. Most, if not all, products on the market are designed to help people get closer to a silky, shiny, smooth hair texture and being natural does not necessarily make you exempt from this.

How many of us, if forced to take either a pill that would make your hair straighter or one that would make it kinkier would opt for the kinky pill? Of those that would opt for the kinky pill would you do it because you genuinely think kinky hair is more beautiful or because you would want to resist white standards of beauty?

I think that it is very hard to grow up in this country or in any country where western standards of beauty dominate (pretty much everywhere) and not on some level see straight, silky, smooth, and shiny hair as being better or at least more desirable than coiled, cottony, kinky, maybe sheeny (I know this is not a word) hair.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[so1913]

ok that was a total waste of my time. the relaxer was invented to make black women's hair more manageable not to emulate other races. that's exactly why i do it. i had natural hair till i was 14. the relaxer makes combing my hair so much easier (and less painful in my opinion). before i relaxed i' used the hot combs. so either way it wasn't because i don't love myself that i did those things. it was looking for a styling improvement!

What I love about this site is that we have the opportunity to share and learn from each other. I will not comment specifically on the topic at hand because I have not watched the video and I don't plan to...but I will responsed to this post which can be very misleading. A good source to use as a starting point to research the history of black hair care and the black hair care industry is a book titled "Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America" (I say starting point because there are plenty of other sources to support the history of the relaxer and other black hair concepts, and this one is VERY good for anyone just wanting to know another side of our history, hair is a HUGE thing to us, and the billions of $$$ spent by blacks in the hair care industry make that fact). Now, although the history behind the reasons we do what we do to our hair or why things were invented may not be valid reasons for a number of us today, that does not change "history" itself, and I think it's important that we understand it to move forward, regardless how we decide to wear our hair.

 

[secretdiamond]

I relax because it it convience. My mother made me wait until I could do my natural hair before letting my get a relaxer-at 16. I can tell you, do to my being lazy relaxing works for me better. I can do a pony tail in about 60 seconds . . . something I could never do with my natural hair. As far as black women wanting kinkier hair it depends on the popular style. My mother said in the early 70's she would wash her wavy hair in listerine mouth wash, braid it on sponge rollers, and pick it out in the morning to wear a afro because that was the style. I've also seen documentaries where japanese guys who were into hip hop culture had some wierd type of teasing process done to kink their hair so they could rock a 'fro.

I've also seen white people (although few and far between) who wear locs and wish their hair was kinkier to allow it from slipping out of the loc (sp?) so much and not get un-done.

 

[Yellowflowers]

I'm not going to even bother to watch the video because i can already see from what they are saying that it's filled with bigoted self-hatred. When people speak like this, i think they've had issues with being black and they've FINALLY come into realization and self-love and now they are lashing out at all blacks to try to put us in the 'i hate myself' boat, that they used to be in. NEWSFLASH::: I'VE NEVER HATED MYSELF NOR MY HAIR....
As for me, it is NOT THAT SERIOUS. I proudly wear my hair relaxed because i simply love how it looks on me and I love long and textured straight hair. I personally love the look of long 'textured' hair, not just any type of long hair. And i simply think that my hair is an 'accessory' my hair just happens to be my most loved and cared for, accessory that I own. It is also my crown and glory which is why i take pride in it and I take care of it to the best I know how. And its that simple...I love natural hair just as much as i love relaxed hair, and i can appreciate seeing a natural head...but i just simply choose not to be natural. maybe when i am older, it is possible...

I totally agree. This is at the root of the whole matter. Is self hatred behind the motivation for other races when they relax thier hair? There are several other races that have the kink to thier hair including orientals. I have performed relaxer services on caucasians and orientals. They relax mainly for manageability and style.

 

[Denim And Leather]

I think Poohbear said it best, that there are many reasons why black women relax their hair, and honestly, I don't think it's right for anyone to paint any person (relaxed or natural) with a broad brush, because we don't know that person's heart, nor their reasons for doing what they wish with their own hair.

I think the topic itself (the debate in the video) is a waste of time, there's more important things to worry about in this world than this sister here straightening her hair, that sister there is all natural, etc. Life is too short for petty things.

Why is it when we (blacks) do something that other races do, we nitpick eachother over our motives? Why can't we just let eachother do what makes them happy with their own hair?

 

[PinkPeony]

I've also seen white people (although few and far between) who wear locs and wish their hair was kinkier to allow it from slipping out of the loc (sp?) so much and not get un-done.

I agree.When I was natural I had alot of white people tell me that they wish they had my hair.
In my town there even was a girl that permed her hair in a effort to make it look kinky and she told everyone she was mixed.she tanned alot too to back her story up.

 

[carpediem628]

I think we black folk are just too darn sensitive about everything. Our hair is equally as beautiful as white, asian, or hispanic hair. Our hair is sooo unique and when properly cared for, can be soooo beautiful.

I am relaxed and have been most of my life. But if you look a little girls virgin hair whose mother actually cares for her hair, it is gorgeous, and thick with a beautiful sheen. I love looking at black males' hair when they let it grow for braids. So beautiful. And not just beautiful, but really cool looking.

Our hair distinguishes us from the rest of the world. I love that. I also think other races have beautiful hair also, but none can compare to ours. We can go straight, but they can't go kinky. We can have body, but they can't make theirs stay in place without spritz and hair spray.

I've thought about going natural, but the longest I ever made it without relaxing was 3 months because my hair hurt so much to comb it. If I could snap my fingers and have 12 inches of natural hair, I'd go natural in a heartbeat. But I also love versatility, so I'd want to be able to go relaxed from time to time.

If we are going to be natural, then we need to represent. Really. Our hair should be healthy, and thick.

What I am going to say that some people may not like, is that I do equate the wearing of weaves with not wanting to accept who we are. Some weaves are really gorgeous and look natural. But some just look absolutely ridiculous, especially when you can see the difference in texture when the natural hair is course and the weave is bone straight. I used to wear weaves mainly because I didn't know how to take care of my own hair, but one day, I got on an elevator at work and there were about 6 black women and the rest of the women on the elevator were of different races. Every single black woman on the elevator including myself, had a weave. The bad thing is, none of the weaves looked good. That day, I went home and threw all my fake hair away and began to concentrate on hair care. My husband applauded me and gave me the support I needed to chop off my damaged hair and start from scratch. It wasn't easy, but thank God I did it.

No offense. I know sometimes it's just easier.

 

[amy1234]

blame it on the media ....
(I don't feel like typing a huge essay at the moment)

 

[carpediem628]

blame it on the media ....
(I don't feel like typing a huge essay at the moment)

Excellent point.

 

[Country gal]

Look, you'se my people's and all and normally I would agree with you but I think there is some validity to the other side of this arguement.

First off, the women in this video seem to be the type of folks who believe that having natural hair means just letting it sprout from your head without any maintenance. The loose haired and bunned up speakers from the audience had visible breakage. Both panelists with braids had receding hairlines that looked alot like severe traction alopecia. When the camera panned the audience and panel, there was no trace of luster or sheen (signs of healthy natural hair) on not nan head in the room.

Now I put this out there to say that IF folks are going to preach the gospel of natural hair THEN their natural hair has got to be on point. I'm not talking about people needing to have curl definition or a certain style, I mean your hair should look like it's thriving because it is natural.

A major beef I have with people who lecture about perms is that they go in for the 'self hate' card because it's easy as opposed to the reality that most people who relax are doing it out of habit. They want to tell you how evil the perm is, but the harder issue is how to break the habit.

Going natural is not a simple or easy process for people who have been used to applying perm every 6-8 weeks for 10, 15, 20+ years. Perm is familiar, women know what to expect from a relaxer. Dealing with natural hair after a lifetime of relaxing can be frustrating and expensive, because now it is up to you and you alone to essentially learn a 'new trade' when it comes to dealing with your hair.

If I had made a video about the 'evils/dangers/whatevers' of relaxing -I wouldn't be adversarial and put myself on a pedastal as natural equating self love while relaxing indicates self hate. I would talk to people the way I wanted to be talked to (as someone who had relaxed hair for 27 years) and address the fear of the unknown. I would give them the lowdown on the pluses and minuses of whatever state they wear their hair and talk to them about the options available. To me, that's how you break ground on the issue.

But instead, this us vs them them stance, causes more heartache and resentment than there needs to be.

Well stated.

 

[hrtbndr21]

I haven't watched this video but it seems the conversation has veered away from it anyway. I would like to pose a few questions:
Why is it that relaxed is the style choice for the majority of African American women and not just a trend that comes and goes e.g. perms, jehri curls, mohawks etc?
Why has natural hair become the exception not the rule?
If it is indeed a choice of style do we really believe all of us coincidentally chose the same way to style our hair?

I think it's the media, the way we were raised...decades of this piled up and it becomes the norm to chemically alter ourselves.

Yes other races perm, some straighten their hair, bleach their skin, surgically alter thier eye lids, maim their feet. But the norm for the majority is still the naturally occuring configuration.

I relaxed for 12 years now I'm transitioning. Someday I may relax again. I realized that I relaxed not for my own personal sense of style but because people said my hair was too coarse, nappy,unmanagable, didn't move, just plain not right. If I do relax again it will truly be a style choice because I will have embraced what I naturally have. In the meantime if I want to rock a straight style I can always whip out the maxiglide

People should be able to adorn themselves any way they want to. We just have to be aware of our true intent when doing so.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Why has natural hair become the exception not the rule?

Today, there are beauty supply stores filled with all kinds of different hair utensils and products. But that was not always the case so people used what was availble to them. When I was a child this is what my mama was working with for my hair and her own:

How long and how much discomfort would be involved using these items on nappy hair? If you add perm to the equation, then these styling tools become a lot easier to use. When I was a kid, this is what the store had, so this is what was used. (BTW - I never owned a wide tooth comb until I read about the benefits from LHCF, as an adult, I just purchased the same kind of combs my mother used.)

I have a feeling that if we were to transport ourselves back to the time when the hot comb/perm were introduced to black people, the only comb available probably looked like the third one in the picture.

The point of my longwinded example is that there are many aspects affecting what makes it convenient to perm.

It's really easy to push this off as a self hate issue, but I still contend that convenience and ease of use is what makes perming/relaxing an attractive option for many black women.

 

[LovelyZ]

I went back and read the comments and this stuck out to me...

People of African ancestry generally want to have hair like non-Africans. Could it be because things like shininess, smoothness, pleasant texture, attractive movement and so forth actually ARE better than a 'fro or cornrows or dreads?

Do peopel really think this? How many people actually honestly think that thier hair isnt 'good' the way it is?

I prefer the look of my hair when it is long and shiny. I prefer looser waves to kinky. Maybe I'm brainwashed but that is what I prefer on me which is why I am texlaxed.

 

[caligirl]

Today, there are beauty supply stores filled with all kinds of different hair utensils and products. But that was not always the case so people used what was availble to them. When I was a child this is what my mama was working with for my hair and her own:

How long and how much discomfort would be involved using these items on nappy hair? If you add perm to the equation, then these styling tools become a lot easier to use. When I was a kid, this is what the store had, so this is what was used. (BTW - I never owned a wide tooth comb until I read about the benefits from LHCF, as an adult, I just purchased the same kind of combs my mother used.)

I have a feeling that if we were to transport ourselves back to the time when the hot comb/perm were introduced to black people, the only comb available probably looked like the third one in the picture.

The point of my longwinded example is that there are many aspects affecting what makes it convenient to perm.

It's really easy to push this off as a self hate issue, but I still contend that convenience and ease of use is what makes perming/relaxing an attractive option for many black women.

Wow, excellent point! And when these are the only tools used on you as little girls, you grow up thinking that natural hair is difficult to manage.

 

[testimony777]

Today, there are beauty supply stores filled with all kinds of different hair utensils and products. But that was not always the case so people used what was availble to them. When I was a child this is what my mama was working with for my hair and her own:

How long and how much discomfort would be involved using these items on nappy hair? If you add perm to the equation, then these styling tools become a lot easier to use. When I was a kid, this is what the store had, so this is what was used. (BTW - I never owned a wide tooth comb until I read about the benefits from LHCF, as an adult, I just purchased the same kind of combs my mother used.)

I have a feeling that if we were to transport ourselves back to the time when the hot comb/perm were introduced to black people, the only comb available probably looked like the third one in the picture.

The point of my longwinded example is that there are many aspects affecting what makes it convenient to perm.

It's really easy to push this off as a self hate issue, but I still contend that convenience and ease of use is what makes perming/relaxing an attractive option for many black women.

I understand your point but I don’t think it is just about convenience. I don’t think we can get away from the fact that our hair was (is) so “difficult” because we were (are) constantly working against what God gave us. We have been conditioned to think our hair is not manageable, but our hair is very manageable when you style it in ways it wants to be styled in. If you take 4 type hair or course 3 type hair and try to emulate European hairstyles you are going to have some difficulties unless you chemically alter it.

Despite our lack of presences in the hair care industry today the Black hair care industry began with Black people. So the question then becomes why did we create what we created. Why did we not create wide toothed combs, and develop oil blends and conditioners that softened the hair and made it easier to comb in its natural state?

I think the answer is that our natural hair was not socially acceptable back then, and we were conditioned to believe that looking ones best meant emulating the styles of the majority. So when the Madam CJ Walkers of the world set out to address Black women’s hair needs the first thing they sought to do was address our “unmanageable” (meaning not easily styled in the popular styles of the day) hair. Even though natural hairstyle are becoming more and more popular I think many of us still operate out of this same mindset.

 

[Tene]

I don't consider relaxing a style choice, it's a permanent process. Styles are something you change up, not something permanent. Also this is a result of years of conditioning.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Despite our lack of presences in the hair care industry today the Black hair care industry began with Black people. So the question then becomes why did we create what we created. Why did we not create wide toothed combs, and develop oil blends and conditioners that softened the hair and made it easier to comb in its natural state?

It is 2006 and as most of us can attest to by reading this and other black hair care boards, there are hoards of black women who don't wash their hair regularly because they think 'dirt will make it grow'. Or that regular washing is for white people. There are even people who believe that perm makes their hair grow. You have to delve through all the strongly upheld beliefs in old wives tales before even addressing why we didn't invent 'better products/styling tools' for our hair.

I mean, you would think that after 50 years, SOMEBODY black would have invented a perm that didn't burn, since it would make 'having white girl hair' that much more easier. But nope, 'we' are not even creating an easier way to assimilate (which is yet another reason why I don't believe it's totally a self hatred issue). Truth is 'we' don't trust anything new -remember Rio. And I have been told on numerous occaisons that 'I'm doing too much' by mixing oils in with my conditioner. So when you mix superstition up with intellectual laziness, you get what's been the state of black haircare for the last 100 years.

 

[Kurlee]

I will admit it...The only reason i relax my hair is because I DO NOT think that my natural hair is pretty looking. There is no way that i would risk burns, damage and baldness if it didn't make me look better. My ego wants me to have the hair that is acceptable to the world. If I were to go natural, everyday would feel like a bad hair day to me. So i choose to risk being burned, bald and suffer from hair damage as long as it make me look good (temporarily)

My ego is also the reason why i eat "soul food" when i know that i shouldn't. The soulfood makes my tongue feel good.

If i was so in love with myself i don't think i would feel a need to put any chemical in my hair. That would mean that i think there is something about me that i need to CHANGE. If i don't have a relaxer, i feel like i can't go out and do business things because my hair looks "bad".

I feel sorry for feeling this way but it's the truth. Hopefully i will live to see the day when my natural hair is considered beautiful and i don't feel the need to curl it, press it, relax it, twist it, or even cut it. (for some reason i don't feel that day will be anytime soon)

I so respect her honesty!!!

 

[bettytoo]

Today, there are beauty supply stores filled with all kinds of different hair utensils and products. But that was not always the case so people used what was availble to them. When I was a child this is what my mama was working with for my hair and her own:

How long and how much discomfort would be involved using these items on nappy hair? If you add perm to the equation, then these styling tools become a lot easier to use. When I was a kid, this is what the store had, so this is what was used. (

Girl your mum and my mum must be sisters because my mum's very fond of the ace comb.And she loves combing afro hair bone dry.I realized after years of being natural only comb the hair when its wet.its saves the pain.

 

[Denim And Leather]

It is 2006 and as most of us can attest to by reading this and other black hair care boards, there are hoards of black women who don't wash their hair regularly because they think 'dirt will make it grow'. Or that regular washing is for white people. There are even people who believe that perm makes their hair grow. You have to delve through all the strongly upheld beliefs in old wives tales before even addressing why we didn't invent 'better products/styling tools' for our hair.

I mean, you would think that after 50 years, SOMEBODY black would have invented a perm that didn't burn, since it would make 'having white girl hair' that much more easier. But nope, 'we' are not even creating an easier way to assimilate (which is yet another reason why I don't believe it's totally a self hatred issue). Truth is 'we' don't trust anything new -remember Rio. And I have been told on numerous occaisons that 'I'm doing too much' by mixing oils in with my conditioner. So when you mix superstition up with intellectual laziness, you get what's been the state of black haircare for the last 100 years.

I totally agree! Again, black women relaxing their hair is not always about self-hatred.

I've been relaxing my hair for 25 years (since grade school), and someone's going to tell me that I hate myself, when in fact, I've been doing this for so many years that it's habit?

Who cares if so and so relaxes their hair? It's their hair, let them be! I should not have to explain to anyone why I relax my hair, nor would I, if anyone came up to me and asked. The bottom line, whether the deep down motive is "I dont' like my kinks" to "it's easier to style my hair", it still becomes a choice.